if a reaction was all it took to cure mana's confidence, kagome silently curses herself for giving it so freely---------- for flinching not in disgust, but in something far more compromising. she should have known better----------- she does know better. she hates that a single touch was enough to set her heart on fire, to scatter her thoughts into careless embers. she hates it more, knowing that deep down, she wasn't surprised. this… always felt inevitable.
“ you might be waiting for something that won't come. ”
her voice is steady, but only barely. stubborn------------ sharp around the edges, like she's trying to convince herself of her white-lie before it unravels before them. her eyes never falter as they meet mana's rosette hues, if they were both going to play this game, kagome refused to look away first.
it would be easier if mana was cruel… if their charm was shallow, or if their presence continued to be fleeting… but, no. they stay, & they watch. they listen, & smile like they know something kagome doesn't------------ & maybe, they do. kagome's never met a being so infuriating! none so thoroughly unreadable, & yet… somehow always in step with her. it makes her feel exposed, like every drop of hesitation is being devoured.
ugh. kagome banishes the thought. she refuses to give them the satisfaction. & yet… even as mana's fingers curl ‘neath delicate features, she doesn’t move, nor does she flinch. even if the touch is possessive in it's softness, she remains still. she lets them. ( that alone, was the most damning. )
she tells herself it's because she wants to remain unbothered, that she wants to win. but… her heart betrays her every step of the way.
“ … why stay? ” the words slip before she realizes. quiet, unsure… not quite a challenge----------- not really------------ but a plea. kagome's brow furrows, her expression filling with something much more raw, something unsettled. the question hurts. it burns. she's been wondering it for longer than she cares to admit. wonders every time mana chooses to linger at her side, uninvited & impossible to ignore.
she doesn't understand them, & it scares her more than she'd like to admit.
her next breath shakes, barely audible. she holds mana's gaze like it was a challenge. she doesn't want to break. she doesn't want them to see the way her chest is caving under the weight of feelings she cannot afford.
“ why stay, ” she repeats again, like if she says it again… it'll mean something different.
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