“ 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎 , 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 . ” first she watched rue deal with losing her father , trying to numb the feeling however she could , then it was fezco isolating himself , and finally her own grief . out of all of them , she had probably been the weirdest , pretended everything was fine ( sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅs ᴛᴏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ , ʀɪɢʜᴛ ? ) , dismissed it whenever someone brought it up they never even saw her cry about it ( ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ sʜᴇ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴅɪᴅ ɪᴛ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ) and put all her attention in her projects . workaholic by nature , it hadn’t been that out of character , thankful for the distraction . that was until she finally stopped denying his death and allowed herself to actually feel it . at least she had rue through it , some days she swears she was unbearable to deal with but her friend stayed . “ 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚝 . 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚍 , 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚝 . ” she’s not going to pretend it was fine , won’t act as if she didn’t spend nights crying over him , but knows well she can’t place the blame on him .
“ 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚗𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 ? ” hand gently pets her head , smiling at the dog nuzzled up against her . happy to know he has found some company , knows how pets can give so much love . some people might call her dramatic , but sometimes she’s not sure how she’d make it without the two cats waiting for her at home . it gets so lonely sometimes . a bigger smile tugs the corners of her lips as he keeps going , warmth invading her as he tells her the pup feels good with her , has always had a soft spot for animals . “ 𝚜𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕 . ”
chestnut hues focus on him as he speaks , patiently waiting , will not bring it up but she can’t help but find it adorable when he stutters , takes her back all those years ago . as if she’s one to speak , cheeks flushed , teeth nibbling onto her lower lip as she offers him a quick nod . “ 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 ! 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 , 𝚒’𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 . ” way too enthusiastic , can she ever just be chill ? pathetic . “ 𝚒 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 ? 𝚒’𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚢 𝚗𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 ? ” words come out too quickly , she’s too nervous , holding her coffee cup a bit too tightly , if she’s not careful she might spill it . heart is hammering on her chest , excited that she’ll spend time with him , that he actually wants to , and she needs to tell herself to calm down , to not make a big deal of it . don’t let it happen all over again . can already hear her sister’s words , this is a big mistake , she’ll get hurt all over again , but cassie wouldn’t get it . she doesn’t know fezco , not like she does , hasn’t heard the honesty in his apology , hasn’t seen the guilt and shame shading his eyes . if it goes wrong , it won’t be for lack of trying from her part . and if she gets her heart broken , she’ll bring it back together again , even if it’s always misshapen . has done it enough times before .
He can't help but feel some part of her does; she must blame him at least a little for how he handled things, or moreover how he didn't handle things back then. Grief stricken or not, he had hurt her, left her feeling as if she was the problem, as if she wasn't enough, when the reality was so far from that from where he stood. All the dreams they shared shattered the moment that bullet went through his brother skull, it's taken him years to feel at least a little normal again, whatever that meant.
Nodding in agreement, Rosie was adorable, he'd fallen in love with her sad eyes in the shelter that day and never looked back. " 𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚜𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍, '𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗' 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚍." smirk pulling at the edges of his mouth, she wasn't even that a big dog and yet somehow managed to take up at least three quarters of the bed.
He's a little surprised she agrees to it, nervousness bubbling in his gut, having half expected a polite decline of his offer of dinner. " 𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚑? -- 𝚘𝚑 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎, 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚗' 𝚢𝚊." he says as he's pulling out his phone from his pocket slipping it to her, heart thudding in his chest, mind taking him back to the couch on new years all those years before when he's been the one punching his number into her phone. "𝙸𝚖𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚜, 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗' 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗, 𝙻𝚎𝚡𝚒." Nice seeing you again, cursing himself for that one, the nerves getting the better of him making him stutter out his parting words.
And he does as promises, texts her almost the second he gets back home, maybe he's a little too eager, but the excitement in his chest at he idea of getting more time with Lexi, to reconnect, to catch up on all the missed years, how different their lives looked now to back then. Tells himself it's just two old friends catching up, won't allow himself to think it any more, since he'd be fooling himself to think he deserved any more than friendship after how he's broken her heart once already. They text on and off as the week goes by, nerves growing more as the weekend approaches and by the time Saturday evening rolls around he's a nervous wreck, calls Rue in a panic, and she's no good, all she can do is tease him about his date, that he insists isn't a date.
They agree on meeting at the restaurant, he figures that way if she wants to leave it makes it less awkward. Rue tells him he’s an idiot, that of course she isn’t going to leave mid-dinner, but he can’t help but think of the worst case scenarios, his mind in overdrive the whole drive over, he’d spent way too long getting ready, changed his outfit at least three times before settling on some slacks and a nice shirt, hoping that he’s dressed up enough for the place he booked on recommendation from one of his buddies in the dispensary, he arrives early, debates on if he would wait for her out front but decides he’ll wait inside, drops her a message to let her know he’s here and heads inside, stomach in knots as he’d guided to their table anxiously checking his phone until he spots her, waving across the room like a fucking idiot, that boyish smile that only Lexi could pull from his painted across his face as he greets her, "𝙷𝚎𝚢...𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚑... 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎, 𝙻𝚎𝚡𝚒."
