survival for dummies

JORDAN MESSINGER ░ 20 years old ░ COLLEGE STUDENT ░ science nerd " you're RIPPED at every EDGE but you're a MASTERPIECE "

[ffsjordcn]

perspective hallway | nov 2 | 1:00pm

[septembers-monarchy]

The clung to each other, stayed near each other and got lost in each other for all of the same reasons. It made them feel safe, and wanted, and as if they’d be missed if they disappeared. She wanted him to be better, to be as confident as he had been before that they’d all make it out, because this new side to him, it scared her. It somehow scared her more than the thought of running into that thing again, because Jordan was special and she didn’t want to lose him, or change him. At least not like this. He was pale and still shaking a little, and she understood not wanting to eat. None of them had been eating because they were all sick with fear. 

“Sleep? Yeah… Yeah of course.” Leaving the Great Room where it was, the smell of smoke still lingering past the closed door, she opted for the billiards anyway. It had large, puffy couches that would at least be comfortable if anything, and then they could lay together. Ember wouldn’t mind sleeping. It felt like she was always tired here, waking up tired, going through the day tired, and even when she’d chugged a cup of instant coffee earlier, she was always exhausted, and it seemed to go through to her bones. Leading him to one of the large couches, she left the door open in case they needed to make a quick get away and motioned him to lay down so she could lay out beside him, cuddling into him and his chest. “Let’s… let’s just lay here and see if we sleep, okay? I promise, I won’t go anywhere, I won’t.. I won’t let it get you again, Jordan. You don’t deserve it.”

[ffsjordcn]

jordan wasn’t sure how much september’s words made sense to him. he was stuck in this house. the entity would find a new way to get into his head. it would haunt him until it ended his life. he had been optimistic in the beginning. he thought they would be able to fight the spirit but now he knew the truth. this thing knew so much about them. it was probably finding ways to sneak into their phones and personal lives. it was everywhere. there was no escaping that. even with september at his side and kissing on his lips, jordan still didn’t want to be there. he wanted to cry every moment since encountering the entity. he wanted to go home. 

of course that wasn’t going to happen. at this point, he wanted to die. he had fought for so many years to overcome his sadness about his mother and his end was near as well. there was no turning back, no matter what september said. it wasn’t that he was going to kill himself but someone would make sure he was dead. someone, something. he wasn’t sure what. just that it was going to happen eventually. he tried to focus on september’s lips and body against his. they were warm and soft, happy and sad at the same time. he tried to be happy but it wasn’t working. all he could think about was what the spirit said to him and how worthless he really was. how he would never be the person that his mother imagined. “sure. just for a moment or two. sleep is definitely something that i can use right now.” 

[ffsjordcn]

perspective hallway | nov 2 | 1:00pm

[septembers-monarchy]

It felt good. The way he relaxed into her. The fact that it was obvious that he felt just as safe with her as she did with him, meant so much, that the selfish part of her was praising itself for keeping him there with her. Even while the part that was quite attached to him and realized just how good of a person he was, was flooded with so much guilt that she felt as if she was drowning in it. Thankfully, she had a long history and much practice at pushing away and ignoring that part of her. It never seemed to be self serving. Nodding her head when he broke apart from her to speak, she all too eagerly accepted his lips back, her arms slipping around his neck to pull him tightly into her, or her into him. Not that there was much difference when they were already pressed together. Staying like that for a moment, she broke away from him and hugged him once more, her face buried into the side of his neck before she finally let off a sigh and moved to lead him toward the stairs and back down to the main floor and it’s feeling of relative safety. At least to the kitchen where they had slept so soundly before. 

Their fingers laces together, her grip reassuringly tight on his own, and she gave him soft smiles every now and then, wanting to keep him as calm as she could, at least until they were back in the kitchen. She didn’t want him to go off on her again. The moment her foot hit the tile in the foyer, she sighed in relief, chewing on her lip before leading him towards the kitchen. He needed to eat something and all the food was now in the fridge after she’d moved it there. “You need to eat something, Baby. Or at least have a drink for your nerves. I don’t.. I don’t like seeing you like this.”

[ffsjordcn]

jordan wasn’t sure when he was going to feel safe again. maybe if they got out of this house. that wasn’t looking likely but jordan had hope that they would leave one of these days. it had only been two. he was scared of how the entity could keep control over them for longer than that but at this point, he wasn’t surprised. jordan didn’t want to leave september or the rest of the group but he knew that the entity could lure them into situations. it was pretty much capable of anything. it could change shape and fuck with everyone in their own minds. it could make them feel like the scum of the earth even for a few moments. it happened to jordan and it was going to take him some time to recover. he’d spent years getting over his mother’s death and now he had to relive it with the memories. he wasn’t sure how he was going to fix that. he sighed against september’s lips, keeping them close to his when he pulled back. he felt safe even if it was temporary. 

jordan knew they had to move from this hallway. It was one of the worst locations in the house and they needed to stick together. he wasn’t sure why september broke from the group to find him but he hoped because she really did care for him. fear changes people. maybe it had changed her for the better. he kept close to her as they moved down the stairs. it took him a little longer than normal as he was recovering from a lot of emotional trauma but he made it just the same. he shook his head, glancing up at her as she spoke to him. “i’m not hungry. i just want to sleep forever.” that wasn’t a lie. food was going to do nothing to calm him down. sleep might help a bit, though.

[ffsjordcn]

perspective hallway | nov 2 | 1:00pm

[rosiemoraless-blog]

She wondered how many times over the years he had told himself that- It’s been three years. I’m over it or it’s been five years. I’m over it. She stopped herself; she was being nasty. He had said himself that people coped differently and maybe this was his way. Who was she to say it wasn’t working and, more importantly, that it wouldn’t work here where all your fears and worries were weapons in the hand of the being. (It would have sounded particularly hypocritical though when moments before she had handed over the ammo it needed to supposedly destroy her.)

And if she was very, very honest with herself, a rarity, she would admit that he was braver for even trying. “That’s brave of you, I think. And according to everyone time heals all wounds-never mind that noone’s too specific about how much time is needed. Eventually you’ll get there.”

[ffsjordcn]

there were times when jordan thought things were going to go back to normal after his mother’s death. there were days when his father got out of bed and stopped drinking. they functioned like a normal family but at the end of the day, the bottle was brought out and the cycle continued. his father didn’t know how to cope. his sister avoided it at all costs and jordan tried to look into the future. he wanted more than this. he wanted to be brave and move on but all the madness was preventing him from doing so. being in this house was making him hate himself for not allowing certain things to happen. for not being there for his dad when he should have been. for not telling his sister to take a break. he was being selfish and he knew it.

jordan glanced over at the girl still sitting next to him and sighed. he really wished she could leave his side but at the same time he was grateful. sure, he didn’t want to talk but this house was so lonely. “time has been going slower over the last decade. making it harder to heal and move on. maybe we’ll never move on. maybe we’re all just doomed to think about this.”

[ffsjordcn]

perspective hallway | nov 2 | 1:00pm

[septembers-monarchy]

Even if he had told her why he had chosen her to be mad at, she wouldn’t have been able to deny that all of that was true, and maybe she wouldn’t have even tried, because she’d know that he’d have no idea how right he was that it was her fault they were all still stuck there. Still, her face went stony at his words and she sighed softly as she looked over at him. “We will, we’ll find a way, okay?” It was all she could say, for telling him the truth that she didn’t think they were going to make it out, would break them both. She’d said it out loud too many times already, and her own resolve was cracking. But if she cracked, he would, too, and then they’d all be stuck there and they’d all die of fear before whatever was in the house got to them. 

The sound of his sigh was a relief to her, because it carried the distinct tone that came with the evaporation of his unintentionally well placed anger, her arms coming around him as he once more melted into her. She didn’t know wha to do, she wasn’t good at any of this sort of stuff, because usually she just didn’t care, but  somehow this guy had forced her into caring and now she was lost. How did she console him when her own coping skills came down to pushing everything away, or destroying anything that upset or hurt her? Taking a deep breath, Ember nodded into the side of his neck. “I know… I know, me too. But… at least…” Turning her head so she could capture his lips she spoke her last words against them. “We have each other.”

[ffsjordcn]

jordan was trying so hard not to be rude to september, especially not when she was the one that found him and comforted him first after seeing the entity. he was scared beyond belief and wanted to cry until he couldn’t form tears anymore but he knew that wasn’t the answer. he needed to stay strong to help figure out how to survive this house and everything in it. he needed to get his life back together. he was missing so much being here. the outside had surely changed a lot since he last saw it. granted it had only been a few days so that was highly unlikely but he didn’t care. he wanted to leave. glancing over at september as she spoke, jordan nodded but he wasn’t sure that was possible. “i hope so. we can’t stay here forever and be haunted like this.” he really did not want to die here. his last moments should not be in this house. 

he tried to sit up straighter but his muscles were tired and his head hurt. he was hungry but he couldn’t eat. he was tired but sleep was an afterthought. he was scared to sleep and be killed during that time. he wanted to move but september’s arms around his body felt so safe. he managed to hide his face in her chest, feeling the warmth of her skin against his face. he was able to relax even for a moment against her. he sighed as september grabbed a hold of his face, letting their lips slot together. his lips against hers allowed him to escape this reality for a few seconds and remember there was someone that might possibly want him alive. “yeah, that’s true.” was all he could say before pressing his lips against hers again, letting his hands fall to her waist for a good grip. 

[ffsjordcn]

perspective hallway | nov 2 | 1:00pm

[rosiemoraless-blog]

She nodded and privately wondered who, on earth, would turn down candy corn. Eating a handful of it herself, she answered the question he hadn’t asked, “There’s a certain look about people like us, people who learn in childhood that the world is simply put ‘not fair’. Don’t tell me you can’t recognize it in Roman and Johnny too. The sadness-it doesn’t go away, just scars over, an ugly mess, and it is all too easy for someone or something to rip the scar back open.”

She tilted her head back against the wall and shut her eyes. A few more beats of silence in which she wondered if he was listening or rolling his eyes. She was familiar with both reactions. “And if you’re like me, you can’t help but pick at the scar yourself because it feels good sometimes to be sad about it.” She drew in a breath and released it.

“My sister, Ava Marie, had an accident.” Lie. “She fell from a fourth story balcony.” Truth. “I saw it happen.” Truth. 

“What I’m saying is, it’s ok to wallow in it.” She wasn’t entirely sure that it was healthy advice. But something about the other boy desperately trying not to cry seemed even worse. It was perhaps not fair of her either when, if Rosie opened her eyes and looked down the hall, Ava would be there, standing, supportive. Ava never left.

[ffsjordcn]

jordan didn’t want to have this conversation with the girl right now. he didn’t want to have any conversations. he wanted to cry himself to sleep after the chilling presence of the entity. or die. at this moment he didn’t even want to be alive. against his better self, he sighed, shaking his head at her words. “we can try to get over it. it might take a while but there’s no need to wallow in it all the time. being sad can ruin your life.” 

jordan bit his lip. he couldn’t say much more. he had tried and tried over the years to repair what had been broken since his mother’s death. his sister overworked. his dad did nothing but stay in bed. it wasn’t a pleasant thing to watch. sometimes he felt terrible for leaving them to attend college but he had to move on with his life. with another sigh, he glanced over at rosie. “everyone copes differently. we all try to get past it but it festers inside of us until we blow up or get too depressed to care. i don’t want to be sad about it anymore. it’s been ten years. i’m over it.” that was the lie of all lies. he would never be over it and even more so now that he’d felt all the memories coming back to him. 

[ffsjordcn]

perspective hallway | nov 2 | 1:00pm

[rosiemoraless-blog]

Rosie watched the boy for a moment, before deciding he shouldn’t be left alone in the state he was in. She should go and find Ember again to tell she had found him but with the seemingly shifting hallways that was easier said than done. 

Instead she sunk down to the floor to sit by the boy. She pulled her legs close and pushed a bag of candy corn towards him. And then she sat, silent, just breathing, for a long time. 

“My twin sister died when we were nine,” she offered, after a while.

[ffsjordcn]

jordan felt like he was going to cry for the rest of his life. he couldn’t think. he could barely see with the tears in his eyes and he just wanted to leave. he wasn’t sure how to get back downstairs at this point and right now, he didn’t care. maybe he would die in this hallway. maybe this was the end for him. when he felt someone sit next to him, he glanced up, lifting his hand to wipe his eyes from the tears that had fallen. he grimaced a little as the girl spoke to him before glancing back at the ground. 

jordan had never told anyone about his mother dying when he was younger so how did she know? he shook his head to himself, lifting his hand to push back the bag of candy. if there was one thing he hated, it was candy corn. bleck. “i was ten,” was all he added, biting his lip to keep the tears away again.

[ffsjordcn]

perspective hallway | nov 2 | 1:00pm

[septembers-monarchy]

Blinking at his harshness with her, Ember nodded and took her hands back, eyeing him and the paleness of his face. Whatever it was that had happened to him was obviously bad, especially if he was snapping at her for nothing. Jesus, she was actually trying to help. Something that he of all people should know that she wasn’t well known for. Eyes narrowing at his words, she threw up her hands. “Of course I know that! But do you really think we should be going off on our own looking for windows that we can actually break or a door that will open. It’s not like we can ask really nicely for this house to let us go, and even if we could, I wouldn’t want to talk to it anyway.” 

Shaking her head she reached down and took his hand so she could start leading him toward the stairs so they could at least get back to the floor that seem somewhat safer. Most of the really fucked up stuff, seemed to happen on the second floor and she sure as hell didn’t want either of them lost up there. “I don’t care what it takes, we can stand outside the bathrooms or something I just… I don’t want you to get lost in this place. We’ve already lost Alec. I can’t find him anywhere. Or that Teryn girl… I’m already starting to freak out, and I might lose it if you disappear, too.”

[ffsjordcn]

jordan was scared and angry. he wasn’t sure why he was so mad at september but the mansion was in her family’s name and it was her party that caused them to gather here. he had to take his anger out on someone. he knew she could take it but over the last few days, she didn’t deserve it. she had changed in front of his eyes. she was trying to help him in that moment. jordan knew that but he was still angry. “i know we can't but there has to be something we can do! there has to be some secret password or passage to get us to safety. it’s a spirit. it can’t keep us here forever! it can’t hold us hostage! we have to get out of here.”

jordan swallowed. he knew they weren’t going to get out. he knew it was either die or wait until the house decided to let them go. if it decided. he hated those odds. he didn’t want to die and he desperately wanted to leave. he wanted to go home and see his family. he wanted to attend classes. he wanted to be a normal twenty year old. this stupid party and house were messing with his head. after a long moment, jordan sighed, trying to let all of his emotions leave his body. he was angry at the house. he wasn’t angry at her. she was trying. “i just don’t know. i don’t know how this is going to work. i’m lost. i can’t think. i can’t sleep. i can’t eat. i’m exhausted and i want to leave.” he let his body rest on hers again. limp and lifeless like he felt. 

[ffsjordcn]

perspective hallway | nov 2 | 1:00pm

[septembers-monarchy]

The moment he fell into her, her arms closed tighter around him, eyes closing as she heard his sobs. Why the fuck they hurt her so much, like a punch to the chest, she’d never know. It wasn’t like she cared about him, not like that. She had to keep telling herself, because though it meant that she was happy to have him there, it also brought along a deep guilt for having brought him here in the first place. “I’m sorry…” Whispering the words into his hair, she reluctantly let him go as he sat up, eyes searching his face as she reached forward to wipe the moisture off his cheeks.

“How did I find you? I came looking for you, obviously. And here I thought you were the smart one in the house.” Laughing softly as she shook her head, trying to lighten the atmosphere, she let her hand slide down his arms until she could take his own. “Come on. Let’s get back downstairs where it’s safer, and we can get you a drink. You don’t even have to tell me what happened if you don’t want to. I get it.” She’d never tell him about what happened to her, nor any of them, none of them needed to know that she’d sentenced them all to their imprisonment just so she would not have to be alone.

“No more leaving each other alone. I swear, okay? From now on you’re stuck with me and we can make it out of this together. Okay?”

[ffsjordcn]

jordan wanted to cry forever in september’s arms but he didn’t want to be seen as weak. he didn’t want to talk about what had happened. he wanted to forget somehow. he wanted to leave the house and move on with his life. years of intense therapy would be needed to forget that moment. just like it took to move on from his mother’s death. jordan was stronger than that. he wanted to be strong and pull himself together but what if the entity had been correct? what if his mother suffered so bad and didn’t tell them. what if he had made a huge mistake in his life by not letting his father pass, too? it was all hitting him at the same time. he couldn’t deal with it. 

it took him a few moments to pull himself together but jordan sat back on his legs. the fear still present on his face from earlier. he was so tired. he wanted to sleep for days and forget about all of this. “i am the smart one.” jordan said finally. he wasn’t in the mood for jokes. he didn’t want to talk, either. “we need to get out of this house, september. we need to figure out a way. this is only going to get worse for us. can’t you see now? we’re all suffering here! we’re all unable to sleep or eat because of fear!” he was pretty angry and he knew it wasn’t her fault. not entirely, at least but he needed to yell at someone. “i don’t want to talk about it. i just want to leave.” good luck with that, jordan. 

he nodded as she spoke once more. “that’s easier said than done. are we going to follow each other to the bathroom all the time?” he sighed, glancing up at her. “sure.”

[ffsjordcn]

perspective hallway | nov 2 | 1:00pm

[septembers-monarchy]

Where was he? She hadn’t seen him in a while, and that incessant rushing of her blood in her ears, pushed by a worrying feeling in her chest, had slowly driven her crazy. Having left Roman after helping him find some clothes, Ember had finally given in to the annoying poking of her conscious and her concern, and gone looking for him. She probably should have brought someone along with her, someone to make sure that something in the house didn’t come along and decide it was time to end the sleep over, there was distinct gnawing at her that told her that maybe he wouldn’t appreciate it. 

Even if he was lost in the house somewhere, he’d probably be terrified, and she didn’t want to think of the worst case options. He didn’t deserve this. Hell, besides Sully he was probably the only truly nice guy she knew. She knew she was a bad person, because where with Sully she just wished she’d never brought him here… Jordan… she was sort of happy she had. Hell, he was keeping her together in the most surprising way. 

Focusing on him, and worrying about him, and hell; having him worry about her. It all sort of helped keep her calm, because she didn’t even want to think about what it would have been like to have been left alone there. Stuck in there, with IT. The thought alone was enough to choke her, especially as, for some odd reason, she found herself putting Jordan in those shoes and it onlt doubled her panic. 

“Jordan?!” 

It felt like the one thousandth time that she had called his name, and suddenly, when she turned down into the worst hallway in the house. There he was. Though.. she would have sworn she’d been this way just a minute ago. Maybe it was her that turned around and she’d been at the other end? With this place.. who knew. “Oh my god…” As she came closer, the hunching of his shoulders and the way he just stared straight ahead.. and how.. how pale he was, she knew something had happened. Dropping to her knees at his side, one pale hand reaching for his as she rested the other on his shoulder. “Hey…. Come here.” Pulling him into her, she did the only thing she could really think to do, and pulled him into her. Consoling was a fairly foreign concept to her, so all she could do was go on instinct. 

[ffsjordcn]

jordan’s head was buzzing with thoughts and feelings that september’s shouting was just an after thought. he couldn’t think about anything else except for what the entity had said to him. he didn’t want to think about anything else. he knew he was a failure. he knew his father was a failure. none of them could save his mother. none of them were brave enough to join her in the after life. jordan had never thought about that. he never wanted to end his own life to be dead. he had so much to achieve before then. it seemed like that might be different, soon. he just might be sitting next to her in a day or two. 

if you had told jordan that over the last two days the person he felt safest with was september then he would have laughed in your face. she never gave him the time of day before this party, before this mess. but he had no problem falling into her body when she showed up in the hallway. he had no problem letting the tears fall and all his walls break down as he rested against her chest. he didn’t know how to feel. he didn’t know how to act. he was terrified of being in the house any longer. his little research project turned back and one day people might be talking about this night or reading it in a horror story book. who know? 

jordan didn’t want to sit up but he forced himself to do just that. he didn’t want to be weak. he didn’t want to be worthless. he wanted to be a good son. he wanted to succeed. he definitely didn’t want to die. shaking his head a bit, he glanced at september before rubbing his eyes. “how did you find me?”

[ffsjordcn]

perspective hallway | nov 2 | 1:00pm

jordan couldn’t take it. he didn’t want to move from his spot. he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs to get the entity’s words out of his mind. he was just a boy when his mother died but he remembered every minute of her last days. he remembered the pain and sadness that everyone experienced when she was pronounced dead and the struggles their family was dealing with even ten years later. it was too much. his head was starting to spin. he needed to sit down.

after a few long moments, he moved to lean against the wall but his legs gave out so he slid down, back against it and hung his head in his hands as he sat. he was so drained. he was exhausted. he was hungry. he wanted to go home but he didn’t even know if he would. he wanted to talk to his sister but there was no way since his phone was dead. he was trapped inside of a haunted house. 

he wasn’t sure how long he was sitting up there after the entity left when he heard footsteps nearing him. he wasn’t really sure he wanted to talk to anyone. not after that. not ever, probably. he just wanted to be left alone. he wanted to rot in this corner of the house for all eternity. he was at such a loss. he felt like such a failure. everything that the entity said was still ringing in his ears. he’d tried so hard his entire life and it still pointed out he was a failure because he couldn’t take care of his dad. 

with the footsteps getting closer with every moment, jordan opened his eyes. his head was still spinning and he knew he looked like a mess. he most likely smelled since he hadn’t showered in the last few days. none of that mattered, though. jordan couldn’t care less. he actually hoped the person nearing him wouldn’t notice and keep moving on. he wasn’t in the mood to speak at all. or do anything. 

[areyouafraidyet-blog1]

Perspective Hallway II Nov 2 II 10:10 am

[areyouafraidyet-blog1]

They grinned, feral. It was strange to them that a person could still feel such emotion for someone dead so long. Wasn’t it exhausting? What purpose did it serve? They were sick of using the woman’s voice. They changed seamlessly to a mirror of the boy’s voice, in all its youthful frustration. “Are you sure, Jordan. Are you sure? You were only 10 when she died. Did ever really know her. Can you even remember precisely what she looked like? What her voice sounded like? Do you remember how she suffered there at the end as the cancer ate away at her?”

[ffsjordcn]

jordan wanted to scream but nothing would come out. it was as if his entire body was frozen and couldn’t move. the fact that the spirit could imitate anything, any form, any being, any voice threw him off since the first day. jordan was terrified. he didn’t want to admit anything that they were saying about his mother. it just wasn’t sure. there was no way. 

jordan shook his head furiously, finally able to move from all the fear in his body. he needed to be strong. he needed to protect the others as he had the last few nights. he wasn’t sure he could. he was being pulled under quicker than he’d imagined. 

“yes, i’m sure. i knew my mother. she would never lie to me. she wouldn’t do that to us! she loved us! i remember everything about her. i remember her scent, her touch, her voice. you are not her.” he shook his head. he hated the thought of his mother struggling but he remembered all the doctor visits, all the nurses in and out of the house to help their family. all the sad faces at the funeral. it was all coming back to him. paralyzing him in his current state of mind. 

[septembers-monarchy]

Kitchen || Nov 2 || 3:42 am

[septembers-monarchy]

He was so unlike the other guys she knew, predictable and yet hard to read at the same time, selfless and self serving all at the same time. Maybe she was reading him wrong, but in that moment she didn’t care. She was as selfish as they came and she wanted him there, wanted him close, wanted his lips on hers and his arms wrapped around her. It seemed like that was the only time she felt safe, protected and it meant the world to her. Warmed her in a way that was more than from unexpected chemistry. 

Lifting her eyes to his face, she furrowed her brow in confusion when he rebuffed her compliment, she rested her head on one of his biceps as a pillow and studied him as her fingers ran up and down the length of his other arm. “Why not? You’re my hero. Staying with me even when I’m a vapid bitch, making sure I’m okay… that’s all pretty heroic in my books. I specialize in scaring people away so… kudos to you, right?” She usually wasn’t much of a talker, but she was confused as to why he took it the way he seemed to have, interested in how he thought. 

[ffsjordcn]

of course jordan had known september for years but the way she was acting since the night before was unlike her in so many ways. maybe she was growing up in such a short period of time. maybe it was the effect that he has on people. he wasn’t sure. jordan didn’t want to leave. she was comforting and keeping him out of harm’s way. they were taking care of each other together and didn’t notice. it made him feel like he could survive in all of this mess. 

jordan shook his head, glancing down at september in the darkness. he never felt like a hero. he hadn’t done anything that he wouldn’t normally do. he was trying to keep people safe but he didn’t feel like that was out of the ordinary. “i don’t know. i just don’t feel like one.” he laughed a little as he listened to her. “you’re not that bad. sometimes you’re even tolerable. we all need someone, right? it’s just strange that you turned out to be my someone in such a short period of time. who know?” he sighed, lifting a hand to rest on the back of her head, nudging her with his body a bit. it was strange but it was what it was. all these people he didn’t really know were quickly becoming those he relied on the most. 

[areyouafraidyet-blog1]

Perspective Hallway II Nov 2 II 10:10 am

[areyouafraidyet-blog1]

The boy was frustrating in his resolve to remain reasonable. They empathized with September. It wouldn’t do the boy much good, he would die just like the others whether or not he held onto his rigid control. If he were really as desperate to live, as committed to vow of staying distraction free, he would’ve noticed something was wrong with the mansion the moment he stepped within the doorway. It meant there was still hope, they’d lured the boy in once. “Oh Jordan, sweetheart, here’s the truth then. I knew there was something wrong with me. I could feel it. For nearly a year, I tried to ignore it. When I finally couldn’t anymore, I went to the doctor. They-they just kept saying, ‘if only we had caught it sooner.’ Do you want to know more?”

[ffsjordcn]

jordan was determined to make it out of this house alive. he wasn’t sure how to achieve that but he needed it to happen. he couldn’t do that to his sister or his father. he couldn’t imagine how they would keep living with him gone. over the last few years, jordan had stepped up and saved money to land a spot in college. he kept his grades up to keep himself from falling into a depression. after such a loss, that is typically to be expected but jordan wasn’t going to be that person. he knew his mother. the real one would be proud of him for that. he’d read about the terrible shit the house was known for before entering and he still wanted to attend the party. he just wasn’t sure he would be stuck there for god knows how long. 

“no, that’s not true. my mother would never do that. she would never leave us out of it. she would never just want to die and not take care of yourself! you’re wrong. just stop talking! stop it!” jordan wanted to rip his hair out. he was nearly there and didn’t even realize it. he couldn’t listen to another word. he needed to get back to the others. where it was safe.

[newgirlgifs]

[areyouafraidyet-blog1]

Perspective Hallway II Nov 2 II 10:10 am

[areyouafraidyet-blog1]

They thought that was sweet, the boy defending his father. They had to wonder though how Mr. Messinger would handle his son being found dead in their house though. Would it be a wake-up call, a reason to give up the bottle, or would he spiral even further into oblivion. It was a thrill to wonder about that type of thing, the dominoes effect their actions within the house had.

Wind whipped around the boy, whistling, the floral scent heavy. This time they imbued more substance in Isabel, more than a flicker, her face though was contorted in anger. She reached out gripping the boy’s chin harshly, forcing him to stare her in the eyes. “Are YOU accusing me, Jordan?! Are you saying I abandoned you and your sister to death? I’m sorry, is that what you want to hear? I’m sorry I couldn’t see you grow up? I’m sorry you turned out so pitifully, scared of the truth, scared of everything?”

[ffsjordcn]

since almost the moment his mother was pronounced dead, jordan’s father had turned into a shell of a person. he picked up drinking, all day, every day, jumped from job to job and jordan’s older sister had to pick up the slack. jordan was only a pre teen and couldn’t do any of that stuff. not that his sister would allow it. he understood why his father struggled. his parents were happy and in love. the cancer just messed with their entire family plan. jordan sat back most of his teenage years and watched the man waste away. who was he to tell him how to cope. 

a shiver went down jordan’s spine again, taking in a huge whiff of the perfume that he was familiar with. he pulled his chin away from the grip of the spirit, surely leaving a mark or two from the force of it all. he tried to close his eyes but he wanted to figure out what this thing was and why it was his mother. of all people. 

“i’m not accusing anyone. it’s not your fault. it’s not my fault. grief happens to the best people. it takes them to terrible places and sometimes we can’t help that. i would never say that about my mother. cancer isn’t exactly something you can control. it’s not her fault! i’m not scared of the truth. i want to know what’s happening here. i want to stay alive, too.”

[septembers-monarchy]

Kitchen || Nov 2 || 3:42 am

[septembers-monarchy]

Groaning softly as he returned her kiss, the sound was half desire and half relief, his confession pulling a smile onto her lips as she melted there beneath him. He felt so good, and he kissed her back with such ease and surprising familiarity. She never wanted to let go of that moment, not yet, especially if it meant she wouldn’t be left alone. Not in this place, not for a moment. It just wouldn’t do and she wouldn’t be caught again. Not left alone with this house and it’s words. 

He’d be there, be promised, watching out for her no matter how snarky she could be. Figures that the nerdy ones were the dependable ones, that’s why she’d yet to find one of her own. “My hero.” Laughing the words softly out during another brief take of air, the breathless cheerleader held him as close to her as she could manage. “How’s it feel to get the girl?”

[ffsjordcn]

it was still dark in the kitchen but jordan felt a bit self conscious being so intimate with september in such an open space. sure, it felt nice but what if it was to go further? not that it would because jordan was swearing off sex until he got out of this house. there was no way he was going to die because he wasn’t a virgin. no way. the noises coming from september made him feel special. no one had responded to him in such a manner before. he never wanted to stop kissing her. he also wanted to do other things but no way. jordan didn’t want to let september out of his sight, not after all the shit that went down last night. that was way too much. 

he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at september’s words. he wasn’t a hero. they all needed to stick together and september was the only one that he knew more than the others. he felt safe around her. for some odd reason. “don’t say that.” he didn’t feel like a hero. he’d stepped up over the last few days but he was not saving anyone. he shrugged, glancing up at her with a small smile. “it’s very rewarding.”

[areyouafraidyet-blog1]

Perspective Hallway II Nov 2 II 10:10 am

 It was very sad that the boy had lost his mother at such a young age. So sad that his father had crumbled to pieces. So sad that the boy threatened to follow his father into oblivion. Isabel Messinger had been a good mother, kind and gentle. Tainting the boy’s memory of her would shatter him. Her flowered scent, earthy and fragrant, permeated the room, tickling the boy’s nose. It was said that smell was one of the most powerful reminders of a memory. They drifted around the boy humming a soft tune Isabel was fond of when she cooked. A touch to the boy’s cheek. A flicker, the barest, of a woman, Isabel, in a white sundress, brown hair just touching her shoulders, ethereally pale. She flickered away again and her voice, her voice as the way the boy remembered, honey-sweet and soothing, filled the hallway, “Jordan, Sweetheart, what are you doing here? It’s not safe here. It’s not safe. I can get you out of here. Just let me look at you first.” A pause. Another touch to the cheek. A sigh that ghosted across the boy. “Oh baby, I always knew you’d end up disappointing me. You’re just like your fucking father. A complete emotional wreck. You know he’s tried to kill himself a couple of times-coward can’t ever get it, right. You could do it. We’d finally be together again.”

[ffsjordcn]

the last two days had been a blur to jordan, a mess every single night that he had to fight to survive. he’d heard the stories from the others about something communicating with them an trying to get into their heads. he’d seen the blood from the dead body in the house and was thankful that nothing tried to trick him. 

jordan thought it was safe to roam the house and look for clues once the sun had come up. he hadn’t had any issue the last few days doing just that. with the sun up, nothing could harm him. supernatural beings were scared of sun light, right? as he moved around upstairs, he felt his skin starting to form goose bumps as the similar scent filled his nostrils. jordan remembered laying on his mother as a child, basking in the smell of flowers from her usual perfume. it made him feel safe. nothing would harm him when she was around. with her gone for over ten years now, he hadn’t smelled that since her funeral. the smell no longer lingered in the doorway of his parents’ bedroom. not with his father throwing everything away. 

he turned his head at the sound of the rhyme that she used to hum when he was younger. memories of family dinners together floated through his head, something else that never happened since she died. his sister tried but it wasn’t the same. mom’s cooking was the best. the cold hand to his cheek made him stop in his tracks. he froze, listening as his mother’s voice softly said his name. 

“mom? what are you doing here?” he said, speaking to no one, of course. just him and the walls upstairs. his muscles tensed up again, glancing the other direction, catching sight of the figure in front of him, almost idential to his mother before her death. he swallowed, hard, not wanting to look but wanting to see her again. 

“no, i don’t want to die. dad’s had a rough time but he would never do that to us. he would never abandon his children to death.”