cookies and cream

27, female, I relieved myself by writing it through this page.

[fialuthfia]

I have a dream about you every single night.

And I don’t mind to have you (only) in my dream.

[fialuthfia]

[fialuthfia]

Aren't you happy?

She : What is going on?

Me : *tells everything in details*

She : I thought you were okay, since you look so happy everyday.

Me : That was what entertainer did.

[fialuthfia]

I am in the state where I so confuse with my life.

I don’t even know what the important achievement that I’ve been did.

Sekarang semua teman sudah mulai satu per satu punya kehidupan masing-masing.

i am not saying I don’t have life. but, I think my life just stuck and I am kinda bored with it.

Bagaimana bisa mereka semua menemukan hidupnya dengan semudah itu?

Dengan satu orang saja dan langsung yakin begitu saja untuk lebih serius.

Apakah salahku terlalu tidak memperjuangkan apa yang aku suka?

Tapi yang kita suka tapi tidak baik untuk kita bukankah tidak layak diperjuangkan?

Aku juga tidak ingin membandingkan kehidupanku dengan kehidupan mereka.

hanya ingin berkaca dan mendalami apa yang sudah aku lakukan sehingga aku menemui banyak kesulitan.

Tapi bukan berarti hidup mereka juga tidak sulit.

Semua orang pasti mengalami kesulitan yang berbeda.

Masalah yang berbeda.

Memang tidak banyak yang mau menunjukkannya.

Iya juga, untuk apa menunjukkan kesengsaraan kalau yang dipedulikan orang hanya kesuksesan?

[fialuthfia]

Why don’t you just get out of my head? It’s ruin my day.

But I don’t know how I am willing to do it everyday

[fialuthfia]

Well..

Ketika ada orang yang benar-benar membuat harimu terganggu karena hanya dia yang ada dipikiranmu.

Namun teringat kembali ada hal-hal yang tidak bisa membuat kalian bersatu.

Dan sekarang dia pun mencoba memulai dengan yang baru.

Apakah orang tersebut harus diperjuangkan?

Mungkin akan dengan cepat menjawab “Tidak”

Tapi, bagaimana kalau ternyata dia jodohmu?

Apakah ketika menyerah artinya sudah melewatkan jodoh?

[fialuthfia]

Happy

OMGGG I am sooo happpyyy finally can write my feelings thru this site again! 

[fialuthfia]

Ridiculous

Well, I just had a heart-attack.

This boy which I dated just left me. He is not an ordinary boy but still a boy.

So we’re in this long distance relationshit which really got my nerve, at first.

But I tried to believe, tried to understand, tried to waited for 2 years.

And 2 years just wasted all my time waited for him.

Back then, I thought everything was real. His heart, his effort.. I thought that was all for me.

But later he seems off and kinda suspicious.

So I decide to be a part of FBI (I mean by looking for a proof and information about what the fuck is he doing out there).

I got a proof that he was hiding so much things from me.

a lot of things.

And I still don’t understand why, since I tried to asked him and he always said that he loves me. But, the action does not told me so.

It does drive me crazy.

And day by day God just give me more and more proofs of what was he doing.

And It made me realize why God give this way for me.

He just want to protect me by letting me had a long distance relationship

and letting me had a proof that the guy that i loved was happily with another girl.

and letting me understand that I deserve better.

Even though at first I thought he was the one.

the one that I will spent the rest of my life.

This is the worst broke-up I’d ever felt.

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

[ailleurs-dans-les-nuages]

[itsmerawana]

[fialuthfia]

I always do.

[mouseremote147863456]

La La Land teaches us no matter how deep you fall in love with someone, sometimes you’re just not meant to be.

[fialuthfia]

I still crying :(

[tbotwaw]

[fialuthfia]

Fanning i’m in love!

[fialuthfia]

tell me your day!

well, so tired.

it’s not like I had too much stuff to do but, I guess I become tired easily nowadays.

don’t know why.

[fialuthfia]

When did your first kissed?

[masochist-bvnny-blog]

[wallpaperprintery]

twenty one pilots // fake you out