✨arson✨ @fictional-worlds-are-exquisite - Tumblr Blog

I saw duck island teasing perky nana ice cream and I am willing to shit myself for this

#I generally don't eat dairy ice cream ever #But for this...fuck that rule im going to suffer #And it will be delightful #Give me #Perky nana is my favourite chocolate bar

i am normally a REALLY deep sleeper but for some reason I've seemingly turned into somewhat of a light sleeper while sick

this hasn't really impacted me much exactly

but

my family is all aware that I'm a deep sleeper. and if they want to wake me up they know they're going to have to shake me roughly and basically yell at me. and even then I'll wake up so slowly. I'll make a bunch of grumbling noises without actually waking up fully. you gotta keep shaking until im speaking in full sentences to guarantee I'm awake. my family all knows this. theyre used to it. this is relevant

the other day a family member put their hand on my shoulder while I was having a nap and that a) woke me up immediately b) caused me to scream c) left me staring at them wide eyed and panicked

today a family member put a blanket gently over me while I was napping and this caused me to a) wake up b) scream and c) stare at them wide eyed

so apparently I now jumpscare anyone that wakes me. I have no earthly idea why my response is to scream. But I think this is scaring my family more than me

#ah yes here is the spawn that sleeps like the dead #I will settle in for my minute long battle to wake this one up #they thought. clueless about what was to come #I think it's the fact that I'm doing the dead opposite of what I normally do that gets them #They're not expecting me to be properly conscious for some minutes #but then I wake immediately while screaming g #free trauma

i think i'm getting old and out of touch i haven't seen a hint of this so called jimothy in the areas of the internet i frequent, but i've literally received at least 3 separate emails that mention this jimothy figure

i think jimothy is a raccoon. i have no other information. i'm sure jimothy is a lovely raccoon. but i have not once sighted this jimothy fellow

#why is dictionary.com emailing me about jimothy #like #what #i am officially out of touch

one of my cats licked my toes which was weird behaviour didnt love the sensation but then moments later my other cat attacked my hand drawing blood so. I guess point to toe licker. You win this round.

#don't do it again #I'm fuckin ticklish there #Youre killing me #Attack cat chilled out the second she was given dinner #hangry ass mf

i asked if this coming week would be available for me to take some annual leave from work, it was not, that was fine by me as I didn't have anything set in concrete

but now i'm sick. i'm almost certainly going to have to call out of work sick tomorrow. they're going to be like wow. how convenient. what interesting timing. sorry to hear you're 'sick'

bruh. kill me now

#should i just seek out a medical note now or #yes it is suspicious timing #i acknowledge that #but what am i supposed to do #lowkey i think i might have covid #i've never had it before but guess who partially lost their sense of taste yesterday #like i can only get the faintest taste from anything i eat it's mostly just flavourless #i don't have any tests on me though #nor is there anywhere open in town that might carry tests today so #it's an unknown

alma-de-naturaleza

shadythetortie

A HAMMERHEAD????

gallusrostromegalus

I attended a campfire presentation by a park ranger who described Osprey as "both the pickiest and least picky eaters of all time."

They're the pickiest because they only eat things they can catch by plunging into at least six feet of water feet-first and are as close to their maximum carrying capacity as possible, to maximize calories-per-trip.

They're the Least Picky because so long as something fits those parameters, Osprey will go for it.

The ranger then showed us an extensive slide show of the local osprey in flight with their catches, which included: trout, carp, snakes, bass, eels, small sharks, ducks, surprisingly large catfish, a nerf football, muskrats, a summer sausage that fell off a boat, sneakers, a fish previously thought to be extinct in the area, a Barbie Doll, and another osprey.

having a lemon tree is actual gold when sick

oh no...my throat...let me go visit my dear friend lemon tree and take a couple of the beautiful lemons they will share with me

and with these lemons i shall craft a potion by combining their juice with manuka honey and hot water

i shall consume the special potion to soothe my throat

thank you dear lemon tree. keep on growing <3

#sometimes lemon tree grows the most beautiful lemons out of reach of my 5 foot ass #but i won't complain (much) because there is still plenty i can take within reach of my short ass 5 foot ass #i'm not taking a fucking strepsil nasty ass gross ass yucky ass lozenge ew #leave me with my hot lemon and honey water to suffer whatever it doesn't take care of

dogpuppy

anxietyproblem

have you ever been in a room at night and someone turns the lights off on you accidentally, generally they're operating on autopilot and don't realise until you're like bruh. I'm still IN HERE.

this happens semi regularly in my house to me

anyway I realised tonight that when the room im in is suddenly plunged into darkness unexpectedly, my response is to immediately cover my ears. caught myself before my hands reflexively slammed over my ears tonight when the room went dark.

and I have to question this. why the absolute fuck is that my response. oh I've lost the ability to see, I better quickly remove my ability to hear! I have lost one key sense, I better remove another key sense right away!

cannot see = bad

cannot see AND cannot hear = much better

???? Shall I fetch a peg for my nose next to block my sense of smell???

I would be the first to die in a horror movie, and people would call my death too unrealistic. but no. I'm just built like that.

#OH NO IM IN DARKNESS #I BETTER LOSE ANOTHER SENSE RIGHT NOW #like #this isn't even including the part where I try to curl up in a ball while standing #When I get a fright my response is always yo try and curl up in a ball #And if im standing that means I end up balanced on one leg with my other leg lifted up knee to chest or stomach #In this position with hands slammed over ears #Yeah I'm dead

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWIN

THANK YOU BIRTHDAY TWIN!!!! 🎂🎉

#HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY TWIN

my heart is pounding not because of the earthquake that just occurred but because MY PHONE APPARENTLY PLAYS A LOUD ASS NOISE WHEN AN EARTHQUAKE IS DETECTED AND I EXPERIENCED THAT AT 5AM NEXT TO MY HEAD AND IT WOKE ME UP TO THE WORLD SHAKING AND MY MOSTLY-ASLEEP BRAIN WENT PHONE BLARING A SEVERE CATASTROPHIC EVENT MUST BE HAPPENING DEATH IS UPON ME

anyway. the more you know.

#It makes sense override phone volume in a potential emergency #My brain just wasn't quite awake enough to process normally #I struggle with alarms a lot if I have anything too loud or abrupt I'll wake up kind of panicked. Heart pounding #and this sure did wake me up panicked heart pounding #Another 20 minutes maybe I'll be able to chill

agnes-nielsens

they call me the information withholder for reasons i won't get into

me: it is time to climb into my nice comfy bed and crawl under my blankets ahh this is so lovely let me stretch out my toes and wiggle around in glee

my cat: ..wiggling toes? toes..

me: huh?

my cat:

me: oh fuc-

my cat: [chomp]

me:OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

#she refused to stop until i pulled my feet out from under the blankets #so if anyone needs me #i'll be freezing my ass off tonight #ignore my paint skills i'm not using a mouse i'm sure you can imagine the face #cats

is he naming them slurs?????? what the fuck does this mean

#what is this #I’ve got to go catch a ferry but I can’t say the name because it’s a slur #no but genuinely what

having cats is fun because sometimes you get up at midnight to use the bathroom and suddenly hear weird noises from the darkness so you turn a light on just in time to see your cat rolling down a flight of stairs bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump-

I'm going back to bed enjoy your concussion

#could ask why #but I'm just gonna go to sleep #have fun

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✨arson✨