This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.
Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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The Bowery Presents
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we're not kids anymore.

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will byers stan first human second

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trying on a metaphor
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Noah Kahan

@theartofmadeline

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@shadythetortie
This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.
Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.
kitten fever is worse than baby fever because a kitten is way easier to obtain than a baby so it's more dangerous
you cant obtain me. tiger stance
"Oh yeah, we have an outdoor Corgi, he just gets so bored cooped up inside all day. He knows to stay off the road. Don't worry, he's way too smart for coyotes and the neighbor's know to look out when they drive past."
"Us? Oh, of *course* our Dachshund sleeps inside- we just let him out in the morning and make sure he comes back for dinner. He just does his own thing, no worries."
"Um, you know it's not humane to keep a chihuahua confined to an apartment? They're dogs, they're natural predators. They need to experience hunting behaviors or they get depressed. No we don't leash ours, he absolutely hates it, we just let him come and go whenever."
Yall get how fucking stupid that sounds, right? So stop letting your goddamn cats get eaten and attacked and infected and hit by cars
A toddler would probably love full unattended access to the neighborhood too, but we don't do that either, do we
It's 2026, "keep your damn pet in a house or in your view" should not be controversial
I had to go on a hunt for this but it was worth it. 100% agree
this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks
The “Thunk” will always kill me.
14/10 doing his best
This young coyote was playing around in the dirt, digging and jumping around until he finally found the prize- a tissue or something 😂. It was almost dark, so a little challenging getting the shots. Los Angeles County, June 2026.
Coyote | Shannon Sommer
"grackle" really is a perfect name for a bird. knocked it out of the park w/ that one
Damn. That really is a grackle.
homunculus let out into the yard for a few minutes of recreational getting thrown from the roof time
how many sharks does a tornado need to be considered a sharknado
1
2
3-5
10 ????
more ??????
other ????????????
this is the level of analysis we’re looking for here people
I will always take the cat's side. "she's drooling on me" you're so lucky "he always wants to be petted" then pet him "he's mad I won't let him on my desk" make room on your desk for him. I am your cat's defense lawyer and the cat is always innocent on the grounds of them being A Little Kitty Cat.
This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.
unmute
You only need to know one thing: meow.
[Video transcript:
(Meow in the background. The meows continue through the video.)
So, (meow) today I am making... (meow) (snicker) pine- (meow) pinecone dice. (meow) (meow) My cat- (meow) He- (meow) He wants to narrate, too (meow). SHUT UP, THUNDER. (a beat.) He's not allowed in the bedroom (meow) 'cause he beats my other cat up (meow) and she's in here right now (meow) so he's throwing a fit.
Anyways, we're making pineco- (wheeze) i lost my train of thought.
So, I use- (meow) (exasperated) pi- i can't fucking these blank inserts (meow) to put the pinecones in (a series of meows interrupt) and then I put the pl- I had this all planned out and I was gonna explain exactly what I was doing and then the (meow)... the CAT... (meow) (a beat.) (Some purring) Can you (purring) hear that? Listen to that)(meow)
Anyways I hope you like the dice, bye.
End transcript]
you're laughing. Those dogs were stuck on that large pile of snow until it melted into a tiny pile of snow and you're laughing
Unrestrained summer fun 😁
this must be such a delicate experience for a creature that can dive two stories deep and has been seen cliff diving into the ocean
Such a quiet and gentle experience for a megafauna cryptid that can headbutt a speeding truck and walk away It’s like seeing Godzilla in a kiddie pool
During a summer heat wave in Alaska growing up (yes it’s a thing), my dad had several sprinklers and a tractor sprinkler going in the yard. From the woods behind the house suddenly came two young babies and a very large mother.
They came directly towards the tractor sprinkler and sat right down.
My dad verrrrry slowly pulled the hose of the other sprinklers, and repositioned them in the backyard so they would spray grass under the shade of several trees.
Lo and behold, the mother moose got up, walked over to the water now pooling beside these trees, and plomped down. The two babies followed after and just fell over in the cool water.
quick question why does your cat command you to print something on the printer
he really likes to watch the printer print. It seems like he thinks there’s some kind of creature in there that I have the mysterious power to summon that he can then hunt for sport?
he sticks his entire arm inside the printer and breaks it if I don’t put some kind of physical burrier between him and the printer but like he purrs so loud when it starts printing and will beg harder for people to print things than he will for treats.
he just loves hunting the printer so much. he even tried to climb inside the place the paper comes out of the printer when he was a kitten.
No matter where he is in the apartment if the printer makes a noise he sprints full speed. He also knows which button to press to get the printer to print like the ink levels info and alignment sheet, so you have to make sure it’s off or locked up or he will print nonstop himself and then attack the printer and jam it.
is it inconvenient that my cat is obsessed with the printer? yes, but damn if it’s not also adorable.
I don’t actually have a ton of photos of him sticking his whole arm in there though because stopping him from jamming the printer is usually a task that involves all of my arms and also all of my roommates arms.
Thinking about the post because I had to unplug the printer today because he broke into the closet and printed the info sheet 3 times in a row and did bite me when I tried to stop him
The face of a boy who is sulking because I expelled him from the printer closet.
the good news is that my cat is so happy, the bad news is that my sticker cutting machine that I got recently instils the same curiosity and lust for violence in my cat that my printer does so no matter what I do I will not know a moments peace.
yet another cosmic unfairness: a manatee is some kind of big fat dumpling beast of the sea that wants you to pet it so bad we had to make laws against doing just that for their safety
jail time and a desire to see them thrive are the only things staying my tender heart and gentle hand