You know. James Potter trying to blackmail Lily into dating him definitely shows a lack of respect for her and her choices. And with the evidence of how he pursued her, hounding her over and over makes me think his attempts to win her over escalated over time.
like I can also see his saving Snape from Lupin had nothing to do with actually saving Snape - though that is the end result. But I think his motivations were purely on Lily, and in not ruining his chances with her. Her best friend dying or being savagely attacked by a werewolf he knew had free reign on school grounds would have ruined his chances.
Plus Lily’s near about turn of her opinion and sudden “feelings” for James makes me think he manipulated her somehow. This is the Wizarding world where love potions are so casually used (and casually sold too!). It wouldn’t be surprising if it was common place for wizards to use potions like that. Look at how unfazed Slughorn was to learn Ron had drank a love potion. So Lily’s complete flip on her feelings for James could EASILY be explained by his dosing her with potions. Nothing obvious because Lily and Snape would notice when it wears off but just enough to tip the scales. Manipulating her, gaslighting her, and then the end all blackmailing her. People like to headcanon him as good at potions so I can see him knowing how to use such potions much more effectively so as to be gentler but far more creepy and manipulative. With them being in the same house, he had a lot more options and opportunities to sneak something into her drinks or her food.
Perhaps that was the end goal of harassing Snape so viciously in their fifth year after the werewolf incident? Trying to get him out of the picture so James can pursue Lily easier. Because a drastic change in Lily’s behavior would have been clocked by Snape. So drive a wedge between them and force Snape to snap under pressure of harassment to get them to break up. Leaves the all clear for James.
I say this because I don’t think Lily would have easily trusted her ex-best friend’s abuser. I give her more credit. I think she was manipulated, drugged with potions, and ultimately and essentially date raped. She was the brightest witch of her age. And then she ended up a housewife/mother after graduating. No career. Nothing. She could have done anything. And it just seemed so uncharacteristic that she wouldn’t DO something as well as that and joining the order. She had far more talent, sense, and drive before James. So it’s like...what happened. James did.
Additionally, James isolated her from her closest friend, Severus. And then later also caused issues with Vernon which further isolated Lily from her family. Isolation is an abuser technique. Removes the support system. Just think about how we don’t hear about any of HER friends. Only James’s friends. What happened to her friends?
James being that asshole jock who date rapes the girl he wanted just fits the stereotype. With his buddies (Sirius & Remus) trying to downplay his bullying - even victim blaming Severus too. Add in the time period in the muggle world and the misogynistic sentiments about purity and virginity and how women should save themselves for marriage. You can easily imagine a middle class family like the Evans had instilled those sort of Christian values in Lily. She might have felt that once used like that there was no fighting it. She was going to have to marry James to protect her reputation. Even if she hated him still - probably more so now that he’d forced himself on her.
TL;DR: James consistent lack of respect forLily and then casually blackmailing her, suggests early markers of a sexual predator and informs his status as a manipulative abuser. When paired with Lily’s complete 180 in demeanor to him, suggests some manipulation was used - possibly even a mild love potion to manipulate her. Resulting in James date raping Lily and entrapping her in marriage as she was “used” goods (per the time period in the muggle world that was still considered a huge worry for muggle women).























