Howdy

37, they/them. Leftist. Cat person. My brain sucks.

[fide-bello]

I am, increasingly reluctantly, alive. I moved to PA last year, in hopes of getting help from my wealthy cousin, or a friend of my uncle's.

My cousin refused. She owns two houses. She won't even let me stay in one of them. I'm not a holiday person anymore, but she didn't even invite me over for Thanksgiving or Christmas. So she can get fucked.

My uncle's friend has been vacationing ever since after her husband's funeral. He passed away from ALS in December.

So I've been staying in hotels. I was doing Uber driving for a couple months after I moved over here, then medication I was on got me fucked up, and then I've just been getting increasingly depressed as things get worse and worse in this country.

It's hard for me to get myself to do much. Even playing games on my phone feels a little laborious.

I've been surviving on money I inherited from my dad. But that money is beginning to dwindle.

I should find a cheaper hotel to stay in, but this one is basically my "home". And the laundry machines here actually take cards, so I don't have to figure out how/where to get fucking quarters.

---

I started watching Smosh content a few months ago. I initially got hooked on the Reddit Reads videos. I also watch their TNTL vids, Who Meme'd It, and fan compilations. I get parental instincts for Angela. Ian is babygirl. Tommy is amazing.

I can hardly watch videos with Anthony in them because my brain has decided to be insanely attracted to him or something, and I cannot handle the surge of whatever chemicals that make my brain and gut go to red alert. I don't even know much about him except that he and Ian have been friends like almost forever, he's very nice to look at, and I like his stupid laugh. 🤦

---

I need better coping mechanisms than obsessing over guys, and maladaptive daydreaming overall. I get it, I am severely touch starved, and no one talks to me except my uncle when I actually post on fb about my mental health crises. And no one can or will help me for shit because I'm just a miserable, gloomy, mentally-disabled, lazy bum who can't take care of themself. There is nothing likeable about me.

Why am I still here? What the fuck am I hoping for? No one is gonna save me. No one is gonna do serious, substantial shit about the awfulness here. We are all tamed livestock. The rich plan to destroy the fucking planet just to rule over the ashes and be the last ones to die. They do not care about anything or anyone else. Not even their own children. They just want everything, and if they can't have it, no one else can. They should do life a favor and just kts. Just d13 already, and leave the rest of us the fuck alone.

I guess my self-hatred is outmatched by my hatred of the rich and their supporters.

[fide-bello]

Firstly, I wish whoever decided to put ads in phone games a very regretti spaghetti.

Secondly, I keep getting ads for book apps featuring wolf people. Like people who either turn into wolves on purpose, or have inner wolves or whatever. And I am SO TIRED OF IT.

But also it gave me ideas like "What if there was a clan of rebel wolf people who went against the way their society is structured?"

Also it made me think "What if some wolf person was like "we're mates, it's fate, I can smell it" and the human they're talking to is like "lol nah"?" Like the human ends up pepper-spraying the wolf person, or tasing them. The cops won't do anything bc the wolf person isn't harming them, because of-fucking-course they won't. The human, luckily, has an apartment in a building that's reinforced against most forms of supernatural intrusion, so the wolf person can't get in, thank god. "Isn't there a dating app for wolf people?! Go find someone else!" Maybe the human is so desperate that they go to a sketchy neighborhood to find a potion maker in hopes of masking/changing their scent or SOMETHING to get this damn wolf person to leave them alone. Probably have to make multiple small payments on venmo to the potion maker. Maybe the human and the potion maker fall in love and are also lesbians, idk. 🤷

[urghblergh]

I am not immune to old people in love. 🥲

[andmaybegayer]

measure once cut also once, no prablem

[andmaybegayer]

#i know i already reblogged this but i need to like. cross stitch it or carve it into wood or quilt it or something

concept for a vcarving project

[andmaybegayer]

Sign in to Onshape, the #1 fastest growing CAD system in the world.

For people wanting the CAD file: it's got significantly more problems now

[catgirl-coded]

it's beautiful 🥲

[sentient-tent]

[depsidase]

[coconuttree6259]

I'm in hysterics about the TOS episode "shore leave." What do you mean he was absolutely on board with Spock working out the kinks in his back (pun intended) and then he completely loses interest when he realizes that it's actually a very attractive woman giving him a massage. I cannot stop giggling bro.

[its-always-sunny-in-city17]

[reject-tiefling]

Jimothy and Jimantha

[sabellart]

it’s a good thing that their comms don’t have visuals bc they’d be infinitely more annoying to the entire crew

[quantumseeker]

Canon actually.

[depsidase]

[kacarlis]

[markersss]

William Shatner wasn't overacting, Kirk is just an over-dramatic cunt, and Shatner had to give the world drama-queen Kirk

[girlsjustwannahaveadegree]

Me at least twice a week

[sarnakhwritesthings]

@jimages-daily can I submit this as an honorary Jimage?

[jimages-daily]

You may!

[depsidase]

[gaytricorder]

i love in fics where kirk discovers he can communicate telepathically with spock because of their bond and then he’s just excitedly screaming random ass thoughts at spock all day and spock just gives him a pained look and thinks like “jim, ashayam, please there is no need to shout i can hear you”

[bluecrowsfly]

thinking about in The Final Frontier when Sybok dies and Jim is trying to comfort Spock about it and he's like "I know what it's like to lose a brother, I lost you...." and it's like yeah sure but your did also lose your actual brother. Sam Kirk is dead. He's not alive anymore. Your big brother Sam Kirk and his wife Aurelan Kirk are not alive anymore. You were there. Stop being gay and remember your brother idiot.