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Max, 22, Texas My face

[eris-haumea]

This site may be going down but I ain’t

[catscenter]

[aphroditeslips]

mama pasta looks so kind

[ketrindarkdragon]

In case my account gets terminated by Tumblr follow me set me free trust me and we will escape from the city

[1-beadyeyes-deactivated20251104]

not to be epic but i am  going to kill you with a  rock

[n1n10do3snt]

cain said this to abel

[pucikat-deactivated20190223]

mouse be like ”Owo whats this” and its chease.

[psyclone-joker]

Tumblr on December 17th.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So today this kid yelled Nani the fuck?!? in the middle of a test and I felt compelled to share this to the world.

teachers, share the weird crap your kids have done!

[ralsalot]

I’m not a teacher (yet) but I do work with students and one of them had the nerve to look me dead in the eye and ask me “why would it be a bad idea for me to eat this entire marker?” They’re 11

[official-lyzzystardust]

An 4th grader asked for a high five by saying, “A little slappy to make daddy happy?”

I did not give him a high five.

[myathesleepyoctopus]

A student during break had her head in her arms and was shaking a bit, so i asked the kid next to her whether she was laughing or crying and this 8 year old stared me in the eye deadpan and said “im crying on the inside”

[myathesleepyoctopus]

Wait i take that back, I cant believe i forgot about the time i brought in a small stuffed octopus as a class mascot because why tf not. It was a class of high schoolers and i didnt imagine theyd actually care much, but one student snuck in a snack and gave it to the octopus as a tribute. Which led to other students doing the same thing, until every day there was a pile of of offerings to Fweej the Overseer, mostly consisting of things like string cheeses and small bags of chips, but sometimes there wouldd be a couple bucks in quarters, one kid brought in some giant pocky i think, and at one point there was a cold stone gift card. This stuffed octopus gained a cult following.

Later i brought in another stuffed octopus that looked exactly the same but bigger and told the class that Fweej the Overseer accepted their offerings and became stronger. These highschoolers lost their goddamn minds.

[shieldmaiden19]

Oh my god I love this. Thank you for letting those kids be the dorks all high schoolers are.

[lilsugarbush]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[slightmood]

no offense but I’ve been learning how to have fun in dumb circumstances

[slightmood]

I was showering during the storm tonight and the light started flickering violently so I peeked out from the curtain and looked at my cat sitting on the counter and said to her “mrs obama it’s been an honor” and then the power went out

[laurelhach]

Can you do a tutorial/ref to the different type of snake heads? I've noticed that Python heads seem to have one shape, but other species will have other shapes, and I was wondering if you could do a handy guide to the different sort of snake faces.

friend, pythons are a beautiful and diverse family…here, let’s meet some:

but there are many, many snakes out there, and all of them have unique shapes

[fattynoodles]

the short-tail face should be called “side of beef” hahaha!!!

[laurelhach]

Addenda:

[nerd-licious-deactivated2020012]

[nerd-licious-deactivated2020012]

[mysticspectrum]

None of us could physically, mentally, or spiritually handle hearing THE Monster Mash

[unregistered-hypercam2-deactiva]

Mix butter and water together at the gym

whoever you are stop trying to communicate with me

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

[hetteh-spegetteh]

The kids, on filming IT: We all became best friends and it was the most amazing summer of our lives and we never wanted it to end

Bill Skarsgard, on filming IT: It was fuckin lonely as hell I sat in a tent by myself the whole time and all the crew members were scared of me

[justpennywise]

TFW you just want to have fun and mingle but you get banished to the Pennywise tent for being Pennywise.

[stylingryan]

This is the plot to Wreck it Ralph

[tonightweredrinkingfromthebong]

[mayothompson]

this guy is from an alternate timeline

[o-b-d-w]

[snoopingasusualisee]

girls night

[fans-tastic]

i love them, thank you.

[thats-so-meme]

GIRLS NIGHT!!!