I. SO COME HOME, SAID THE STARS.
STEEL GROANS AROUND HIM, almost like the shatterdome is alive, like the walls are breathing. he can almost feel them in his own lungs, taste of metal and blood on his tongue, with each step closer to the bay. heart pounds in his chest, fingers gripping tighter around the strap of his bag, carelessly slung over one shoulder. five years gone, still he walks with that swagger in his step despite the weight which had made a home upon his shoulders.
he can hear the machines now, buzzing whirs and clicks and clanks. he was right, the ‘dome is alive, they always have been. it’s infesting his bones now, slipping into the calcified cracks left behind. every inhale is a memory, so bright and vivid they might as well be projected on the walls. part of him wonders why he keeps moving on, closer and closer, and he thinks the hallway is starting to close in.
this was a mistake, he should have stayed in alaska. somehow anchorage had been better than this. it had been quiet, enough for his thoughts to be the only enemy. here, in hong kong, they were everywhere. familiar sights and sounds, smells and the stale taste of the air. his thoughts. the memories. the weight. raleigh almost stops in his tracks, almost turns back, but the door clanks and groans open before him. grease and oil hit him like a train as he steps into the bay, and he almost feels comfort. head turns this way and that, and he remembers finding a corner of the jaeger bay in anchorage, hunkering down with a good book and losing track of time.
“ here she is, mr. becket. ”
he turns his head and there she is, standing tall and proud. beautiful in her lethality. his lady. he smiles, soft exhale of breath, and he feels light all of a sudden. he feels her, her strength and power. she is a part of him, always was, just as he is a part of her. all the guilt and anger, the world he shouldered, it’s hers now, too. she carries it with him. he understands now, the feeling. he’s come home.