Long Distance Tips from a submissive
See each other, and talk, as often as possible
Hearing, and seeing each other, as often as possible is the number one way to feel connected to one another long distance.Try to find little times to connect, even if itâs not a time when you can give your full attention. Talk while you are driving or grocery shopping. For my Dom and I our time differences, and schedules, make finding time to give each other 100% attention hard for us. My Daddy sometimes turns on âDaddy TVâ for me, allowing me to watch him on cam while he is working. We mute the sound and chat via text, but being able to see him is a very calming experience for me, and it certainly helps this needy sub feel connected.
Text when you canât talk
Having your camera on, or headphones in, isnât always practical, but communicating through text chat is often a more manageable way to keep in contact throughout the day. Donât underestimate the power of a message that says âJust wanted you to know Iâm thinking of youââ.
Have a cam âdateâ
Order the same takeout (Chinese food, pizza, etc.), and pop on the same Netflix show/movie while you cam together.
Keep a panty catalog
Both my Dom and I love when he chooses my panties. I, like most women I know, own more panties than he is able to keep track of without help. What I did was create an album for him, a picture of me in each pair, and a corresponding number, so that all he needs to do is glance at the album and leave me a number to let me know which he chose for the day. This works great with lingerie too.
Send Voice Messages
There is a great service on Vocaroo.com that requires no sign up. You can record voice messages for each other so that you have something to listen to at time you will not be able to communicate via voice/cam.
Send pictures and videos as often as possible
A silly morning selfie, or a video recording, can go a long way toward making you feel connected. Google drive is a great way to organize these and control who can view/download the videos and images. (However these methods are not hack-proof and you should always be discreet and completely trust and vet anyone you share sexy/revealing content with.)
Donât make every communication about sex
Things donât need to be sexy all the time. Have a cam session where you just talk. Ask about your partnerâs day. Time on voice/cam is often limited in LDRs but that doesnât mean every opportunity needs to be used for something sexy. Those sexy times will feel so much more special when youâve fostered a real connection.
Share a to-do list
Google keep is a great app that lets you share a to-do list, so you can check tasks/chores off, and your Dom can see what has been completed at any given moment. It also allows either party to add or remove tasks at any time.
Share your playlists
The days of mixed tapes are over, but listening to the same song (preferably at the same time) is a great way to feel connected to another person. Shared experiences have a way of uniting us that is very powerful, and music has a draw all itâs own.
Donât hide your bad days
LDRs are, after all, just relationships. Donât impose on yourself the need to always come off as happy and put together. Iâve had calls where Iâve done little more than cry while my Dom listens and attempts to just be there for me. When another person canât read your body language you need to make a greater effort to communicate what your feeling. Tell them if you feel sad, or frustrated, or angry. If you know that youâll have trouble with this Iâve heard some people establish emojis or code-words ahead of time that they can use to communicate a mood when they canât find the words.
Send a good-morning and goodnight message
This is an important practice, especially for people in different time zones. Let them know you are thinking of them when you wake. Tuck-in is a very reassuring ritual for submissives (especially littles) and these simple messages can go a long way toward reassuring both Dom and sub that they are thought of, and missed.
Have a comfort object
Itâs my intention to write something more extensive about aftercare in a LDR later on, but a great place to start is with a comfort object. It can be a stuffy, a blanket, or a sweatshirt that smells like your partner; anything that reminds you of them. Create good associations by keeping the item close by while you are talking and enjoying yourselves, this will make the object more comforting when youâre feeling down.
Cut yourself some slack
Some days will be difficult. Youâll miss connecting because of busy schedules or bad luck. Itâs easy to feel neglected and unimportant, but try to keep perspective. Remember and appreciate the effort that your partner puts into your relationship and try to cut them, and yourself, some slack.
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