Dead Dove, thesis defense pending @filthesis - Tumblr Blog

Temporary placeholder to sort my tags!

🧵 Tags & Organization

#filth.sys — Blog Meta, history. #protocol.dat — Rules, Boundaries, Disclaimers #blog.mbx — Asks and Replies #filthesis.txt — Writing works #filthesis.jpg — Art works #progress.bak — WIPs #dox.log — Personal posts (e.g. life updates) #dox.dmp — Unfiltered thoughts #dox.tmp — Vent #plague.exe — Reblogs, often tagged alongside↓ #tags.cmd — Rants in the tags #explicit.enc — NSFW posting #scrap.bin — Shitposting

#filth.sys #protocol.dat #blog.mbx #filthesis.txt #filthesis.jpg #progress.bak #dox.log #dox.dmp #dox.tmp #scrap.bin #plague.exe #explicit.enc #tags.cmd #thank you cheezbot for being the first like LMAO

secretgarden

#dox.tmp #unfortunately me with Lim and Med (NdG).#i got so attached to them over the course of theee months that i had to physically and mentally stop myself #i greeted them every morning and every night even with no conversation topic because i was so ecstatic and excited to finally have online #friends after years of being isolated #and then i realised over time that i was not met with the same energy and enthusiasm #I'm also pretty sure they muted the general channel in our server because of me but that's just speculation and also feels evil for me to e #en think about. why do i think that about my friends #i was so unhealthily obsessed and forming a one sided connection that it burned me. and so i stopped. stopped the daily greetings #the sharing of my experiences an whatnot; because i felt like it was always me initiating and sharing. never them #now that's not true of course but it's like they were never curious about me and i was overly curious about them #it all just felt so wrong... and the age gap was more than evident in how we talked. eventually i made the decision to stop #and i don't regret it one bit because it allowed me to reflect on myself and realise that i was placing them on a pedestal and that #their years long friendship as well as age and experience difference introduced a power imbalance that i as a newbie was not used to #plague.exe #kind of a vent but really more of a self reflection put into words #i still love them btw in my own way. i just know it's not healthy so i stepped back

incognitopolls

When you think of OCD, what is the main symptom that comes to mind?

Wanting to be organized/tidy

Wanting to be clean/sanitary

Intrusive thoughts

Repetitive actions

Avoidance

Moral dilemmas (e.g. "if I don't feel a certain way, I'm a bad person")

Isolation

Magical thinking (e.g. "if I wear a certain thing then XYZ will happen")

Something else not listed here

I'm familiar enough with OCD that multiple/no specific single symptom comes to m

I have OCD and just think of my overall experience/issues

I just think generally of someone I know who has OCD

Voting ended onJul 5, 2025

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

#dox.dmp #i have to draw patterns with my mental eye and if i cant reverse them i get irreparably upset #i cant help it and it's very intrusive at night #i got something called just right OCD and if it's not fixed i take genuine mental damage /lh /nsrs #anyways intrusive thoughts #and repetitive actions #imagine me opening and closing a cabinet door because everything has a blanket of aura around it so if it's disturbed wrong then it's #incorrect in my eyes and must be rectified #not even answering the poll just complaining about my symptoms haha #maybe i should ask Lim (nom de guerre) about this

New blog check out @filthespoiled for future rants. Trying to streamline FTS to be mostly my own art. Whatever's here so far shall remain.

#filth.sys

I just came across someone with the same PFP as me. Reminded me that this pfp is just a placeholder. I should really get to drawing soon....

#dox.log

Mini vent!

I made this blog for my friends, but I doubt that our friendship will persist until I'm done with my thesis. Despite being "friends" for over four months, I feel like I haven't done anything to earn our relationship. Regardless, I'm glad that I'm still giving this whole thing a shot. Even if nothing comes to fruition, this blog will be a pillar of my earnest wishes --- the want to create for other people, as well as myself.

#I certainly made things weird too --- we ran out of topics to talk about and yet I refused to let go. I tried to strike up conversation #but I realised over time that the relationship was becoming unbalanced;; especially with how close they already were with each other; years #years of already persisting friendship on their backs; It's no mystery as to why I feel like a third wheel #and honestly? I was becoming scared of how attached I got to my first ever online friends.#of course I'm not blaming any of this on them. My wish for human correction outpaced their rate of reciprocation and over time my frustrati #ns bubbled up. Lim and Med (nom de guerre) are really kind people who helped me through tough times and I will never be able to thank them #enough. There's simply some things that cannot be reconciled; like our age gap as well as our experience gap.#the whole purpose of this blog is for me to interact with their OCs and try to enter their circle. Oughh;;; they offered to get me into #roleplaying and writing and such. they are truly kind #however; again; the friendship is dying. at least it feels so on my end. no blame on them;; I just needed to step back from my overobsessio #and now I'm struggling to step back in; because i can now see with clarity the disparity between the version I've raised to a pedestal in -#my mind versus the living flesh present on earth.#It's not their fault. none of this is. they're just... the popular group passing by;; and I'm the loser trying to fit in. I fear I'll becom #someone I'm not; simply to cater better to their interests.#Ultimately this blog was made for them. for me to interact with them and have fun. whether or not we survive till then; i simply hope that #my earnest feelings have reached them; no matter how shapeless its form.#I hope that Lim and Med (NdG) never read this; but lets be honest I know I'm posting this publicly for a reason.#Lim; Med; if you ever see this; know that you two were so important to me that my love for you two grew too strong; too fast.#I hope that you can forgive me for my actions. No matter how irredeemable they may seem to me; something tells me that you both will.#dox.tmp

Dead Dove, thesis defense pending

Me realising that I wrote that on my profile because i am currently writing my thesis ԅ(¯﹃¯ԅ) i forgot about that... Hopefully when my thesis work is over, i get to actually start using this blog as intended.... as of now it is simply reblogging content but in the future i hope to publish original content....

#dox.log #aspirations #my plans for the future #pray i pass my degree work #no genuinely pray for me please i am suffering

kingcatnine

being the last one to send a message before the chat falls into sudden silence always feels like u just made the worst faux pas of your life and you go sorry guys was that weird and they're all like no sorry I was just looking at a leaf on tbe ground leaf.jpg like oh ok

#Lim and Med (nom de guerre) FRRR #i mean its on me for being on the other side of the world yk #plague.exe #this blog is slowly becoming a diary i am afraid #dox.tmp

pisshandkerchief

"ouhhhh" is a different emotion from "ough" which is a different emotion from "augh" which is a different emotion from "wough". I could go on. and these all convey different feelings depending on spelling variation and how many "h"s you add at the end too

#this is literally me #Lim and I (nom de guerre)#i dont think i've ever seen Med use this so it must be a SEA exclusive >:) /jk we just vibe like that #plague.exe #the three amigross #if they knew of my existence i would tag them but i'm a weirdo stalker who doesnt interact with their content because im afraid of furtheri #ng our relationship because i know i will mess it up #sigh....... they called me 'friend' once on discord and it made me illogically happy.#call me friend please #reassure me that i am real #dox.tmp #not a rant so .cmd not needed #percieved #july 2025

pr3ydriv3

nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

#Lim and Med (nom de guerre) lmao #both of them have side blogs like this #technically FTS is already nsfw but if y'all want REAL nsfw go to @viscenary #that's a gore blog btw actually dont go if ur not into wound-fucking or irl blood or disturbing images etc.#Now Lim has like a specific blog full of hot women and kinks and another blog for like belly kink. inflation. i forgot the name of it #and Med follows Lim along because they're a duo #i'm the passing duck that quacks at their door sometimes and wishes to be included #.................sigh............. i want to be friends with them so bad.......#yearning hard like damn they're so cool and im just me #good now i'm sad again. they bring me so much unintentional anguish and its not even their fault its mine for being too earnest #sigh............anyway YEA i'm making a separate blog for my NSFW reposts and stuff!#Its called @filthespoiled check it out if you want #actually the purpose of this account (FTS) is for reblogging writing tips and also for posting art but i uh. i messed up.#OCD can only get you so far yk its a tedious thing. i might repost all my non-writing/art stuff to FTSP instead and then delete the posts #here but honestly who caarrrreeesssss #dox.tmp #plague.exe #july 2025

cryptdwelling

#plague.exe #Lim and Med (nom de guerre) but Lim specifically because they express their freakiness unashamedly #I check Lim's side blog and side side blog every so often and just nod to myself like 'yup still freaky' because we share like 80% of our #kinks coincidentally #maybe i should make a tag specifically for me n friends? the three freakateers? the three amigross? (<- lucha libre ref).#oh i sure hope they never find this blog i'd be fragged over if they did LMAO #would tag .cmd but i dont want this to be seen lmao #the three amigross #i like that actually #i shall retroactively adjust my tags sometime in the future #july 2025

izel-scribbles

first rule of being a rare pair shipper is find a freak or three who can be convinced to enjoy the rare pair as much as you do. second rule is feed each other's insanity

#plague.exe #Lim and Med (nom de guerre) w/ me specifically to that lobster and shrimp #<- what started it all #the three freaks #i know they enjoy it more than me i'm playing casual and theyre ranked global #so its less “be convinced to enjoy the rare pair as much as you do” because we all enjoy it in equally deranged measures.#second rule though #yeah we do. yeah we do #(well not anymore recently actually :'< i miss those time :[ but the world moves on...)#if only i was into what they are into...... sigh....#well this took a dreary turn but i shall honour the initial rush of happiness #I'm outfreaked by them so i never stood a chance.#dox.tmp

wheatiewintry

i feel like theres 4 types of people when it comes to how they organize their blogs

1: they dont

2: #asks #text #art #reblog

3: #[name]s asks #[name] silliness #[name]s art gallery #[name]s reblogs

4:

#~ °•°▪︎ 𝓪 𝓶𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓪𝓰𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓪 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓭 ~~ ▪︎°•° ⛰️🌃

#𝓭𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 ▪︎•°▪︎ 🌌

#▪︎•°•○ 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓰𝓮 🌙🌉

#•●☆ 𝓳𝓪𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓻𝓸𝓹𝓼 🌟🌠

#plague.exe #I'M TRYING TO BE NUMBER 3 SO HARD OKAY #i want to be organised. i regret my other blog being so low effort :')#gimmick. gimmick tags. guess whats my gimmick. guess. no please i'll even give you a hint dont run away-#fcngmfkdafjgflf;sdas #i think i know a few blogs that are like number 3 proper. meanwhile here i am. showing up with my paper files and book binders and cables #july 2025

nondelphic

writing is hard when you’re a person with thoughts and emotions and also executive dysfunction and also a deep fear of being perceived

#plague.exe #perceived #july 2025

redstonedust

shoutout to the childish bitterness when ur friends are all enjoying a new game/show/fandom that you know isnt to your tastes but you still feel left out. like its not their fault and its not your fault but you WILL be having a silent tantrum about it for the forseeable future.

#dox.tmp #everyone is so up to date with trends. im still stuck at among us guys idk. guys. lethal company anyone? FTUT? theres js too much content..#Lim and Med (nom de guerre) both got into alien stage... and my other fandom's server did too.... (T_T) ;;;;;;;;;; I just #want to be included guys :( i'm sorry i havent caught on give me three business weeks and a two month grace period PLEASE i'm slow #in tumblr terms i am the stupid ogre #and my friends are all gorgeous fairies #i feel so left out its actually pathetic. why not just tryyy and understand? why not reach out and ask for help?#a simple “hey y'all seem to enjoy this; can i know what it is?” would do me wonders BUT i feel like i'lle been thrown at with tomatoes.#literally me and my stupid pride getting in the way. i dont want to beg to be included but i also have no idea where to even start. sitting #on the ground with a cup in my hand like “please; sir; can you spare me a penny?” OUUGHGHHHGH (scream of despair agony and loneliness)#I'm such a poser it's not even funny. watch me beat myself up over it while also doing nothing to remedy the situation.#plague.exe

mumblesplash

u ever see an art style so appealing you feel like you’re getting away with something just by looking at it

#dox.dmp #i flipping love AU / @d__elete on Twitter #they mainly draw Oberon from FGO which was basically my blorbo pre-tumblr era. their art is so delicious and i wish i could emulate the #emotion each artwork of theirs invokes in me. the bugss..... buggggsssss...... mmmmmmm....... fur and hair and HIS EYESSS... the big eyes #but not the uwu anime way or the tiny pupil horror way #its... simply beautiful idk how to describe it. i am writing this at 2.45 AM so i have no thoughts coherent right now #currently listening to flyleaf too ( icanfeeluallaroundmethickeningtheairi'mbreathing)#anyway yes i will be better at drawing you got that right #i should probably conduct an art study idk my Executive Dysfunction says no.#plague.exe #july 2025

volatilevale

"just so you know your mutual fetishizes sexual violence" omggggg yaaaaaaay something i can bond with them over!!! yippeeee!!! yayy!!

#yippee #yayyyyy #teehee #Lim and Med (nom de guerre) !!! i wonder if Med actually likes these sort of things due to my unfortunately glaring lack of interaction wit #them; but i'm assuming that since they're friends with Lim they've got to be equally freaky idk #Me whenever i read Lim's work on Ao3 and see the overly descriptive visceral beautiful prose they write #They (both) have implied that i am not on their freak level... (￣┰￣*)#which is a shock to me because i am *freaky* freaky. Goes to show there are always people freakier than you #not that i'm close enough with them to gauge their freakiness. i mean judging by their blogs they share the same freakuency as me #but since i'm not that close with them (yet! <- person who's too hopeful and will probably regret it in the future for setting up expectati #ns) i can't properly gauge their kink level. perhaps they're into wasteplay and feeder/feedie? if so then yeah I'm not into that so.#Lim has a major gore thing though i can give em that. i look up to their level of freakiness. Both of them are my senpais... my Da-Geges...#wont tag tags.cmd directly because this issss kinda personal so.... yk talking about my friends #plague.exe #july 2025

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Dead Dove, thesis defense pending