Just watched Spider-Man and all I could think about is how I NEED to rub his shoulders. There would be so much tension but as soon as I put my hands on him he’s groaning and lulling his head back…. Like yeah…. Come on just relax.
Sometimes, he’d show up at your front door at nine o’clock at night, wearing a baseball cap and that stupid leather jacket he refused to stop wearing no matter how often Bam and the others made fun of him for it. He wouldn’t smile or say hello when you opened the door. He’d just ask if you were busy. And of course you’d say no. Even if you’d had plans. Because those plans were nothing compared to doing what Dico wanted.
Sometimes, Dico would want you to come and sit in his car with him for a while, just to talk. You would. It wasn’t really a conversation. Dico would just talk at you, and you would sit quietly and listen. One thing was very clear: Dico didn’t get to talk about himself or his feelings all that much. Dico was the funny friend. Dico was the comic relief. Dico was the smartass. As far as the others knew, Dico never got hurt. So you let him talk, and you listened. He didn’t have anyone else.
Sometimes, when he was done talking, he’d go home. That was the end of the night. Maybe he was too tired to do anything else with you, or maybe his guilty conscious had won the battle that day and he’d decided against asking you for anything else. You were always a little let down, but you never complained. If anything, there was something reassuring about the fact that he didn’t always want to go any further. Like a sort of confirmation that you weren’t just a place for him to park his dick a few times a week. Like you were his friend. Even though you weren’t, and you knew you weren’t. Friendships weren’t like this.
Sometimes, more often than not, Dico wouldn’t go home when he finished talking. He’d just sit there for a while, the two of you staring at each other in silence and building tension that could be cut with a knife from how thick it was. And then he’d lean forward, and he’d kiss you, and you’d kiss back because there wasn’t really anything else to do. His kisses were firm, intentional, and a little rough, but they somehow felt weak. Like he wasn’t really there, or like he was pretending you were someone else, even though you knew he wasn’t. Dico didn’t like anyone else the way he liked you, although that wasn’t saying much.
Sometimes, he’d only kiss you as long as he needed to, kiss you until he felt like he’d done it enough to satisfy whatever quota he had in his head. Maybe he thought if he kissed you for ten minutes, it wouldn’t seem so sleazy when he took his dick out. Other times, all he wanted to do was kiss. He’d keep going, keep pressing his lips against yours even when you were ready to move on to something else, like he was trying to delay the rest of the encounter for as long as he could. Like he wasn’t looking forward to it. Dico was odd in that way. He didn’t seem to know what he wanted. He just did whatever his brain told him.
Sometimes, once Dico had kissed you long enough, he’d fumble with his zipper in silence, quietly pulling his cock out and letting you take over from there. You knew what to do at this point; you knew his body like the back of your hand. Other times, though, he wasn’t quite as blunt. Not so cold. He’d gently guide your hand down to rest in his lap as he kissed you, letting you take your time with the zipper and the button and then with sticking your hands down his boxers, fingers gently brushing over the soft, warm skin down below. He never made much noise either way, but in his softer moments, he’d let a moan slip. The slightest hint of vulnerability.
Sometimes, your hand wasn’t quite what Dico wanted, and he’d pull away and gently push your head down, not wanting to be forceful but also not beating around the bush. He wanted your mouth on his cock, it was simple as that. You’d wrap your mouth around the head, feeling the slightest hint of satisfaction when his head would fall back against the window of the car and he’d tangle his fingers in your hair. He was always a little too rough, like he didn’t quite understand what was too much for your mouth to take. He’d shove your head all the way down, the tip of his cock brushing the back of your throat until your eyes watered. He didn’t seem to notice unless you actually gagged, in which case he’d let up a little in a gesture that seemed almost apologetic.
Sometimes, he’d cum without warning, shooting his load down your throat and then immediately pulling your head off his cock without so much as a sound. Other times, it came on slowly, your mouth slowly pushing him to the edge until he moaned under his breath and pushed your head all the way down, letting you swallow his cum and then loosening his grip on your hair so you could pull off. You’d lay your head on his thigh, catching your breath, and you’d feel the tips of his fingers just barely touching your hair, like he wanted to pet you but couldn’t bring himself to do it. You’d never say anything about it. You’d just sit there in silence with him, enjoying the feeling of his skin against your cheek and the sound of his breath.
Sometimes, that was it. Dico would say goodbye, and you’d get out of the car, and he’d drive away, and you’d go back inside and try not to think about it for the rest of the day. But sometimes there was a little more. Sometimes he’d wanna talk just a little bit longer, kiss just a little bit more. He wouldn’t smile, or laugh, or anything like that, but you could tell he was content. Sometimes he’d tell you that you were the only person he felt like he could talk to, or that you were beautiful, or that you were the only person who didn’t get on his nerves. Sometimes he’d even give you a present. Nothing big, just a mixtape he’d made or a random novelty toy he’d found at a store that reminded him of you. Something small. But nice.
That was where the ‘sometimes’ stopped. Dico always left after he gave you the present. He’d hand it to you, not replying when you said thank you, and he’d say goodbye. He always looked like he wanted to say something else. He never did. He just looked at you, and then he drove off, and you’d stand there in the driveway and watch him go, still holding whatever little gift he’d given you as tightly as if you thought it was going to take off like Dico had. You’d stand there until his car was a little dot in the distance, and then you’d go inside and sit there and stare at the present and wonder why he was like that. Why he laughed and made jokes and goofed off with his friends and then never once laughed when he was with you, just talked and kissed you and sometimes did a little bit more. But of course, you already knew the answer. Sometimes, Dico didn’t want to be funny.
A Crash Course in Intercourse (Dico x Virgin! Reader) [Smut]
This was a really good idea suggested by an anonymous user! I loved getting to show Dico being goofy and funny and mildly annoying but still gentle, guiding and reassuring. I picture this taking place some time between the release of CKY1 and the fourth season of VLB, so anytime from mid-1999 to late 2005. Pick your poison :)))
Description: You're sick of Bam making fun of you for being a virgin, and Dico offers up his services — a "crash course in intercourse," if you will. Porn with the tiniest amount of plot possible >:)
Warnings: Female Reader, Typical cursing and gross humor from the CKY guys, Dico shows you all the basics of sex and takes your virginity, No kinks or noticeable dom-sub dynamics but Dico's relatively gentle and guiding/reassuring, Some realistic awkwardness cuz your first time isn't gonna be perfect ofc, Bam's a total virgin shamer, Dico jokes a lot while everything's going down but he doesn't actively make fun of you
Tag List: @eyesofaliar
“We seriously gotta get you laid, dude.”
You looked up from the camera you’d been affixing a fisheye lens to.
“Huh?”
Bam rolled his eyes, snatching the camera from your hands like you were the most pathetic person he’d ever seen.
“I said we gotta get you laid. Your lack of sex is totally depressing and it’s seeping into all the footage you film.”
The two of you were setting up for some scenes you’d be shooting in the woods; Rake, Raab and Jess were a few feet away, talking as they set up some props, and you were all waiting for Dico to show up with the sandwiches you’d ordered for a quick pre-filming lunch.
“Don’t start this ‘getting me laid’ shit right now, Bam, it’s been a good day so far.”
This was far from the first time Bam had tried to virgin-shame you; ever since he’d learned about your lack of experience, he constantly brought it up, trying to convince you to let him set you up with someone so you’d finally get laid. You weren’t sure if it was because he was such a manwhore himself or because he just liked having something to make fun of you for, but either way, he was hell-bent on getting you to have sex, and it was slowly starting to wear you down.
“See? You’re in a pissy mood because you don’t get laid. I’m telling you, give me one hour and I’ll find you some dick, no joke. We can go to a bar and get you an alcoholic frat bro with a chode.”
“Whose chode are we talking about?”
Dico strolled up, holding two big paper bags and looking vaguely curious. He set the bags down on a nearby picnic table and turned his baseball cap backwards, moving to stand beside you.
“He’s trying to get me to fuck an alcoholic frat bro, apparently.”
Bam scoffed. “I’m trying to get her to fuck someone. Anyone. I can’t have a camera girl who’s never gotten laid, it sucks all the sex appeal out of the footage we get.”
You flashed him a look. “I’d argue there’s already not a whole of sex appeal in Raab shitting on himself and you and Dico giving yourselves brain damage in shopping carts.”
Dico laughed, leaning back against a tree. “Wait, so you’re a virgin? And Bam’s mad about it?”
You grimaced, not really wanting to answer. You’d made the mistake of admitting your inexperience to Bam a year earlier while extremely sleep deprived, and that had already brought you enough grief. Sharing that information with the guy who could make a joke out of anything seemed unwise, to say the least. Unfortunately, Bam took it upon himself to answer for you.
“I'm mad for her, Bran. Everyone else here gets pussy on the regular, so it's only fair she should be getting dick at least semi-often—”
Thankfully, Bam's bizarre little tangent was cut short by Jess, who rushed over and dragged him back to where Raab and Rake were standing so they could go over the plan for some of the skits. Dico watched him go with an amused look and then sympathetically patted you on the shoulder.
"Ignore him. I dunno why he's acting like some casanova when he used to put red stars on his calendar to keep track of every time he and his girlfriend had sex.”
You laughed. “Bam’s a little shithead sometimes, I’m used to it at this point.”
Dico went to retrieve his and your sandwiches from the paper bags, sitting at the picnic table with you so you could both quickly eat lunch. He sucked a dot of mayo off his thumb as he unwrapped his sub, looking at you thoughtfully.
“So are you doing it on purpose?”
You frowned. “Doing what?“
“Being a virgin. Like is there a specific reason for it? I’m not trying to pry or anything, you just don’t seem like the type of person who’d be struggling at all to get laid. You could probably do it with just about anyone if you wanted to.”
You realized he was attempting to compliment you (something Dico rarely did for anyone), and you smiled.
“I mean, I’m not trying to be Mother Teresa or anything, I’m just…behind, I guess. I didn’t make any progress in high school, and now it seems like everyone else is so much farther ahead than me. The idea of catching up and finally getting some sexual experience just kinda makes me nervous.”
Dico nodded, pulling a stray piece of lettuce out of his sandwich with a look like he was carefully choosing his next words.
“I mean…I could always help you with that, if you want.”
You stared at him. “You mean like, giving me sex advice and shit?”
He laughed, rolling his eyes. “What do I look like, Dr. Ruth? I’m not talking about lame ass sex tips, I’m talking about actual hands-on experience. A crash course in intercourse, if you will.”
Dico winked overdramatically, but you still look baffled.
“I’m talking about fucking, dude. Having actual sex.”
Holy shit. He wants to fuck me?
“…you want to fuck me?”
Dico shrugged. “I mean, yeah, why not? Might be easier doing it with someone you know really well than with an alcoholic chode or whatever the hell Bam was talking about.”
You picked at your sandwich, thinking over Dico’s offer in stunned silence. It wasn’t exactly out of nowhere; you and Dico’s relationship had slowly progressed over the last few months from platonic to “it’s complicated,” and there’d been a sexual tension lately that was becoming thick enough to cut with a knife. This was the first time either of you had explicitly acknowledged it though, and you were a little taken aback by how casually he’d offered up the idea.
Dico seemed to take your silence as discomfort, and he leaned over to get a look at your facial expression.
“Hey, if you don’t want to do it, that’s completely fine. I won’t bring it up again, it was just an idea.”
You tapped your fingers on the table and sighed, deliberating his offer. You were definitely attracted to Dico, no question about it, but was it a good idea to give him your virginity? Then again, he had a point — you knew Dico, and you trusted him (at least somewhat), which would make it a little less daunting than fucking some random douchebag Bam picked out for you at a bar.
“Fuck it, let’s do it.”
Dico looked mildly surprised. “Really? You sure?”
You nodded, wiping your mouth with a paper napkin. “Positive. Might as well get it over with so Bam can’t claim my virgin-ness is fucking up our footage anymore.”
He laughed. “Bam always has something to complain about. You’ll get laid and then he’ll start saying your footage looks too slutty.”
You smiled. “True. Bam’s hard to please.”
Dico made a face like he was trying his hardest not to say make a joke, then gave in anyway.
“Lucky for you, I’m not as hard to please.”
You snorted, flicking bread crumbs at him. “That’s a lame ass joke even for you, Bran.”
You could see that Bam and the rest of the guys were had wrapped up their side conversation and were en route to the picnic table; Dico took note and checked his watch in thought, lowering his voice so they wouldn’t hear him speak to you.
“This is supposed to wrap up at 5. The guys will probably wanna go for drinks; you can say you’re getting a bad headache, and I’ll say I’ve got plans later anyway and can just drive you home.”
You nodded, relieved you wouldn’t have to endure another ride with Bam (aka Captain Obnoxious), and that was that. It was all settled.
Guess I’m fucking Dico tonight.
————————————————————————
“God, I thought that was never gonna fucking wrap up. Bam’s insane.”
Dico rubbed his forehead in frustration as he helped you into the passenger seat of his truck; it was almost half past 7 — a full two and a half hours after filming was supposed to end.
“I can’t believe he made Rake do ten different takes for that one skit, it was so unnecessary.”
Dico got into the drivers seat with a grin. “Nah, I didn’t mind that part. I’d have paid a million dollars to watch Rake have to reenact getting shit on ten times in a row, I can’t believe it was free.”
You laughed. “Ease up on Rake, Bran, you’re so mean to him.”
Dico chuckled, but didn’t respond, which was surprising; normally he would have taken the opportunity to retort with some brilliant joke about how annoying Rake was. His eyes were fixed on the road, his fingers tapping a beat on the steering wheel, and you realized after a moment or two that he seemed…nervous. Not a very common emotion from Bran.
“You good?”
Dico nodded, pulling his gaze away from the road for a second to look over at you.
“Yeah, yeah, all good. You still up for this? If not it’s fine, just say the word and I’ll take you back to your place and drop you off.”
Oh, he thinks I'm gonna change my mind.
"I'm all in if you are, Bran. Bam's right, I need to get laid, and honestly I don't think there's anyone I'd rather it be with than you, especially out of all the guys in the group."
Dico fixed his eyes back on the road, either unable or unwilling to hold eye contact any longer, but he had a faint smile on his face.
"Okay, good. I'm flattered, but I'll be honest, I most want to get laid with Lord Bottaro, not you."
He snickered, and you playfully smacked your hand against his chest. "Way to set the mood, dickhead."
"I don't need to set shit right now. You'll get sexy Brandon when we reach my bedroom, not one second sooner."
You smiled. “Hey, at least you’re planning to be sexy at some point.”
“I’m always sexy, what do you mean? You didn’t find it arousing when I pretended to take a shit for that one skit earlier?”
Dico pulled his truck into the driveway of the house he shared with Rake (who hopefully wouldn't be back from the bar until super late into the night), clicking off the seatbelt and grinning at you.
"I'm not gonna open your car door for you, so I dunno what you're waiting for."
"Bran, no one on the planet Earth would ever expect you to open a car door for anyone."
You slipped out of the car and ran up to the front door of the house, impatiently gesturing for Dico to hurry the fuck up.
"Calm down, don't be in such a hurry to get laid. It's whorish."
He put on a middle-aged WASP lady voice, smacking his hand over his heart as he unlocked the door, and you shoved him with a smirk and pushed your way inside.
"Don't flatter yourself, I'm just eager to get in so I can hide in Rake's room and surprise him tonight."
Dico laughed, tossing his car keys onto his couch and nodding in the direction of his bedroom.
"Night's still young. Maybe after we finish this we can wait in his closet and scare the shit out of him when he goes to sleep. Room's this way."
He opened the door and switched on the light, kicking his shoes off by the door, and the second your eyes landed on his bed, you felt a sudden wave of nervousness hit you. You'd been too busy laughing with Dico to remember that you were actually going to be losing your virginity to him. He seemed to notice, and his voice lowered to an uncharacteristically gentle tone as he rested a hand on your back.
"I meant what I said, dude. If you don't want to do it, that's totally fine. We can crack open some beers and watch TV, or I can take you home, or we can go meet those assholes at whatever bar they went to."
You shifted in place for a moment, deliberating on whether you really wanted to go through with it. You really were attracted to Dico, and you did want to get some experience in, but the idea of something going wrong or of you and Dico's relationship being ruined by the whole experience was making you have second thoughts.
"...maybe we could start small and see how I feel after that?"
Dico laughed mischievously. "Start small? I knew you'd look for an excuse to make out with me. How shameless!"
You grinned. Dickhead.
"Fine, I'll admit it. I'm dying to get a taste of those luscious lips, Bran."
You flopped down on his bed, sitting on the edge and raising your eyebrows suggestively. Dico wasted no time in moving to sit down beside you, turning his hat backwards to keep the brim out of his way.
"You and half of West Chester. I ate four cloves of garlic and two big ass onions a little bit ago, by the way. Hope that's okay."
Before you could retort, his face went serious, and he moved closer, searching your face for a sign of approval. You nodded wordlessly, your eyes drifting down to his lips, and he leaned in to kiss you, his hand drifting up to cup the side of your face.
The kiss was surprisingly gentle at first, pleasant but awkward from your lack of skill; after a moment, Dico guided you to tilt your head so he could deepen the kiss, his hand sliding around to the back of your head. Despite his onions-and-garlic joke, his breath tasted minty, like he'd popped an Altoid while you weren't looking, and his lips felt softer than you'd have ever guessed. This is actually...really fucking nice.
After a minute, you both had to pull away to come up for air, a string of saliva connecting your lips as you breathlessly looked at each other.
"What do you think? You good to keep going or you wanna stop?"
You felt a jolt of affection for him; you hadn't expected Dico of all people to be so attentive.
"Oh I'm more than good to keep going. Can we try frenching? It looks kinda slobbery, but I wanna get the full experience."
Dico was very visibly turned on by how into this you were, but he was never one to skip an opportunity to make a joke.
"Tongue stuff, huh? Fair warning, I swallowed my ex-girlfriend's tongue the last time I tried that. You might wanna duct-tape yours down."
You huffed. "Stop being hilarious for five minutes and put your fucking tongue in my mouth, Bran."
He burst out laughing in surprise at how forward you were being, and you playfully rolled your eyes and grabbed him by his shirt collar, pulling him in to smash your lips against his. Dico slipped his tongue into your mouth like you'd asked, and you shivered slightly at the unfamiliar feeling, letting him explore your mouth as his hands roamed up and down your hips through the fabric of your shirt.
He pulled away again with a smirk. "You kinda gotta move your tongue too. Frenching's a reciprocal thing, from what I know. Unless you wanna do a little roleplay and pretend to be a store mannequin, in which case you can be as motionless as you want."
You winced, slightly embarrassed. "Shit, sorry."
Dico laughed, squeezing at your waist reassuringly. "No worries, you're learning. I'm a merciful teacher, so I won't dock points for it...this time."
"How generous of you. Now shut up and get back over here."
You pulled him back in, letting him slip his tongue back into your mouth and moving to twist your own tongue around his — hesitantly at first, then a little more confidently when Dico made a pleased sound.
He was still gripping your waist, but you could tell from how eagerly he was rubbing up and down your hips that he wanted to move his hands further up. You grabbed his hands and moved them up to your breasts without breaking the kiss, and he cupped and squeezed them, sliding even closer to you so his thigh was pressed to yours. His thumbs circled over your clothed nipples, and you let out a soft moan against his lips.
Dico pulled away again, still breathing heavily as his gaze longingly moved between your lips and your body. "You can touch me too, if you want. I usually charge, but in this case I'll consider it an act of charity."
You enthusiastically slid your hand up his inner thigh and grabbed at his bulge, eager to shut him up, and his mouth dropped open, his cock getting even harder under your touch. He started to reply, probably to make a joke about you being surprisingly aggressive for a virgin, but you cut him off to kiss him again, rubbing over his thighs and his bulge and pulling his body as close to yours as it could get.
Fuck it, might as well take it a step further. You crawled into Dico's lap, breaking away from the kiss to wrap your arms around his neck and press your crotch down against his bulge. He let out a moan of surprise and wrapped his arms around your waist with a pleased look.
"Jeez, you're a fast learner."
You chuckled nervously. "I'm glad you think so, cuz I'm not really sure what to do now that I'm up here."
Dico laughed. "I knew you were all talk. I should probably help you out, but I'm so tempted to just sit back and let you make a fool of yourself."
You shot him a look. "How encouraging."
Dico's gaze softened, and he rubbed at your hips reassuringly, pressing his forehead against yours. "Alright, alright, we'll get serious for a second. Sometimes people dry-hump before they fuck, it can be good foreplay. You wanna do that?"
You nodded, grinning when an idea crossed your mind.
"We should strip down to our underwear first."
Dico's eyebrows raised, and he swallowed heavily, his eyes flickering back down to stare at your boobs through your shirt.
"...yeah, sure, that sounds good to me."
You had to resist the urge to burst out laughing; you'd never seen Dico struggle to speak as much as he was at that moment.
"Glad you're into it, cuz you're up first." You crawled off his lap and sprawled out on the bed on your belly, swinging your legs back and forth like a schoolgirl as you watched him stand up.
You could tell he was actually a little nervous to start stripping down in front of you and was trying to downplay it; he immediately launched into one of his characters, flamboyantly unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time (and as obnoxiously slowly as possible) and spinning around with a faux-sultry look. He shrugged the shirt off like a Magic Mike stripper, flossing it between his legs and throwing it at you.
You laughed, tossing the shirt aside and beckoning him toward you. "Come here, let me get your pants for you."
To your surprise, Dico obediently walked right over without making a snarky comment. Your head was eye-level with the button on his jeans, and you hastily unfastened it and pulled his zipper down, slipping your hands down into his jeans to tug them down his lanky legs. His hard cock was straining the front of his boxers, and you moved to touch the fabric over his tip, but he stopped you with a grin.
"Can't forget the sexiest part." He turned around and pulled his boxers down just far enough to flash you his ass crack like a male stripper.
"You're lucky you're sexy, Bran, or I'd have already gotten up and left. Sit your ass back down, it's my turn."
He eagerly threw himself back down on the bed and copied your schoolgirl pose from earlier. You stood up and moved to pull your shirt off, but then stopped, anxiously fiddling with the hem.
"...Bran?"
He grinned, mimicking your tone. "Yeah?"
You bit your lip, then shook your head. "Never mind, forget it."
You went to pull your shirt off, and he reached out and stopped you.
"Hey, what's up?"
You shrugged, looking away. "I guess I was just gonna ask if you could, like, hold off on making jokes about my body when I get my clothes off. I love how funny you are, I'm just already so nervous about this."
Dico leaned over and took your hand, giving it a soft squeeze.
"Wouldn't dream of it. Body's off-limits for jokes, and any noises you make are also off-limits unless they're reallyyyyy fucking funny."
You laughed, squeezing his hand back in relief and pulling away to strip down to your underwear. You opted to go completely topless, but left your panties on, and Dico immediately cursed under his breath, shifting awkwardly against the bed as he stared at your exposed boobs.
“You’re gorgeous.”
You stared at him, waiting for him to crack a joke or start laughing, but he just stared back.
“What? There’s no punchline. You’re really fucking beautiful. I’m lucky you’re letting me help you with this.”
"You're so fucking sweet when you wanna be, you know that?"
You crawled into his lap and threw your arms around his neck again to give him another kiss. When you pulled away, his face was slightly red and you could feel him lightly bucking his hips up to get some friction over his boner, but he forced a laugh to play it off.
"You won't be saying that when I whip out my Benjamin Franklin impression here in a minute...he's a douchebag but man can he slay some pussy."
"I'm trying to hump you, not Ben Franklin. Is that still on the table?"
He grinned. "I'll allow it."
You shifted around, trying to find the best position, and he guided you to move your legs.
"Here, get your knees on either side of my legs...right there. You can keep your arms around my neck. Tighten your grip a little, it'll keep you steady. Okay, now you just need to do what you did earlier — press your crotch down on mine and move your hips however you want. Dry-humping's pretty straightforward, no fancy techniques needed...unless you want me to show you my signature 'bull in a china shop' move."
You laughed. "Maybe later. Come here."
He leaned back in to kiss you again, and you moved your hips like he told you to, grinding and thrusting your barely-clothed pussy down on his bulge. Dico couldn't keep his hands in one place for too long; he alternating between squeezing your ass, rubbing up and down your sides, palming at your breasts, holding your back for support, and pulling your hips down to give you both more friction.
You could feel the tip of his cock through his boxers (even if you couldn't the tiny wet spot forming over it from his precum was a dead giveaway), and you changed the angle of your thrusts so that his tip would drag against your clit through your panties, burying your face in Dico's neck to muffle your gasps of pleasure. He'd been doing a pretty decent job at staying quiet thus far, but as soon as he heard you moan, he let out a quiet "oh fuck" and his cock twitched in his underwear. He likes knowing I'm turned on...I can have some fun with that.
You grabbed one of Dico's hands from your hip and guided it down between your thighs so he could feel your wetness through your panties, pulling back to give him a look that you hoped was as sensual as you intended it to be. His face was uncharacteristically serious from how turned on he was, and he firmly pressed his fingertips up, rubbing circles over your clit through your clothes and watching for your reaction. The awkwardness of the situation was fading, replaced by an arousal-fueled sense of confidence in the fact that you could just relax and react to everything naturally without Dico making fun of you.
"Let me try something..." You resumed your hip movements, thrusting into Dico's touch so that his fingers roughly rammed against your sensitive spot. You tilted your head back in pleasure, and Dico gripped your hip with his free hand as he stared up at you in awe.
"Man, that's a new one. Didn't know a virgin could be so innovative."
You smiled, still focused on rutting your hips against his fingers.
"What can I say? I'm creative. Is this the part where the fingering happens?"
Dico laughed. "The fun thing about sex is that there isn't really a set part for anything. I can definitely do that if you want me to, though. It'll probably help you get ready for the main event."
He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and you grinned, reaching down to grip his dick through his boxers.
"If we're trying to get me ready for the quote-unquote 'main event,' maybe you should let me see what I'm gonna be working with."
Dico rolled his eyes in faux-offense. "I knew you were just using me for my penis. You women are all the same. Fine, fine, go ahead and get it out, since you're being so goddamn demanding."
He lifted up so you could help him pull his boxers down to free his cock; it smacked against his belly, hard as a rock and leaking precum, and you stared at it in shock. Oh shit. That thing's going inside me.
"It's rude to stare. You're gonna scare him."
You shot him a look. "You need to work on your dirty talk, it's not very reassuring."
Dico laughed. "Look, don't be nervous. Dicks are super fucking easy to work with. Here, you wanna touch it?"
You nodded, and he gently took your wrist and guided your hand to wrap around the base of his shaft. You gently pumped it a couple times to get a feel for it, taking in how warm and hard it was and admiring how even just that little touch was enough to make Dico breathe in sharply and squeeze his eyes shut.
Dico let you get familiar for a moment, and then he remembered what he was supposed to be doing and pushed your panties aside, gently teasing your pussy with his fingertips and admiring how wet you felt. He gently pushed one finger in, looking up to gauge your reaction.
"That okay?"
You nodded, closing your eyes to adjust to the feeling; after a moment, you nodded again and started jerking Dico's cock faster, using your other hand to gently cup his balls as you experimentally rolled them around in your palm.
"That feels fine. You can move it around if you want, and maybe add a second one. I kinda liked the dry-humping better though if I'm being honest, it felt really good."
Your fingers slipped over his slick tip, and Dico groaned under his breath, gently slipping a second finger in to stretch you out.
"Yeah, that's pretty normal. I think there's a stat about most women not cumming from penetration alone or something like that. Or maybe Rake's annoying ass just said that to sound smart—"
You cut Dico off to kiss him again, this time being the one to slip your tongue into his mouth as you jerked his cock and he fucked you with his fingers. It was a much wetter, sloppier kiss than before, both of you clearly horny beyond belief and eager to get to the finish line.
After a moment, you breathlessly pulled away.
"You wanna fuck me now?"
He nodded. "Fuck it, let's do it. Hold on a sec."
He gently pulled you off his lap and got up, dashing out of the room way more quickly than you were used to seeing Dico move. You watched him go with mild confusion, then moved to lay on your back on the bed, resting your head on the pillow with a sigh.
Shit, it's about to happen. Am I gonna throw up? No. Yes. Maybe? Fuck. I mean, he's seen me naked, so I guess that part's done. He's had his fingers in me, and this will be a lot like that. Except with a penis. Which is way bigger, and way firmer, and shoots out cum. Aw fuck, you're supposed to do this shit with a condom, aren't you?
Luckily for you, when Dico came running back in, he had just that in his hand. He held up the square purple wrapper with a grin.
"Stole it from Rake's room."
You smiled. "My hero. You think he'll notice?"
"Nah. He brought the weirdest chick over the other night, he'll probably just assume she ate it."
Dico opened the wrapper and slid the condom on (laughing when he noticed how intrigued you looked), then climbed on top of you and leaned down to kiss you again, gently spreading your thighs apart as he did so to give himself easier access to your pussy. When he pulled away, he tossed his baseball cap onto the floor and cupped your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb.
"We're gonna take this slow until you give me the green light to speed up a little, okay? If you want me to stop, just say so. If you want me to switch into Ben Franklin mode, just say 'electricity.' Sound good?"
You nodded nervously, not even acknowledging his joke from how focused you were on trying to relax your body. I think that sex tips article I saw last week said you shouldn't tense up or it'll hurt more...
"Kinda need you to say something so I know you're all good."
You grimaced. "Sorry, I feel like my heart's gonna explode. I wanna do this though. Just...go very, very, very slow at first, okay?"
Dico nodded, reassuringly stroking your face again as he grabbed the base of his hard cock with his free hand and gently angled it so the tip was pressed against your pussy.
"This is such a dickhead thing to say considering I'm not the one about to get penetrated, but try to relax. Don't think too much about how you look or the sounds you're making. Just focus on how good it feels and how amazing I am at this."
He said the last part like it was a joke, but it was actually decent advice. You'd had a lot of fun so far, and Dico had genuinely turned you on more than you'd ever been in your life. It was probably better to focus on that than to worry about whether your moans sounded stupid.
"Ready?"
You nodded once, biting your lip anxiously, and Dico gently pushed his tip into your slick heat, cursing under his breath at the feeling and checking your face for any signs of discomfort. You grimaced; it hurt a bit more than the fingers, which you should have expected but hadn't really considered. Still, it wasn't too bad, and for whatever reason, you wanted...more.
"Slide it in more, I can take it."
Dico grinned. "So demanding. You better hope I don't go on strike."
He pushed in another inch, his hands holding him up on either side of you, and you rested your own hands on his back and gently pushed down to guide him to fuck you another inch deeper. His shaft was really starting to stretch you out, and you gripped at his shoulders and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to get used to the feeling.
"Should I take it out?"
"No, just stay there for a second, let me get used to it."
You cupped the back of Dico's head and pulled him down to kiss you again as a distraction; you could sense how difficult it was for him to stay still with half his dick inside you just from how desperate the kiss felt. You could feel his hips twitching forward just slightly, his breathing getting heavy as he sucked at your bottom lip.
After a moment, you breathlessly pulled away. "...alright, I think I'm good. Push it all the way in, Bran." You expected Dico to make some kind of joke (perhaps saluting you and addressing you like a military general), but he was clearly a little too distracted at this point.
Dico nodded fervently, going back in for another sloppy kiss as he slowly pushed his length all the way inside you until his upper body was pressed right up against yours. He moaned against your lips at the feeling of your wet, tight pussy around his cock and buried his face in your neck. You stroked his hair as you adjusted to the fullness of having his cock all the way inside you, and it occurred to you that this was probably the only time Dico had ever been vulnerable in front of you.
He stayed still like that for another moment, his face pressed into your neck and his cock all the way inside you, and you started to wonder if he was just going to stay that way. Eventually though, he pulled away from your neck and tagged the bed for balance again with his hands, gently pulling out until just the tip was still inside. He looked up at you again for approval.
"I'm gonna start actually moving it in and out now, okay? I'll keep it slow, just tell me if you want me to stop."
You nodded eagerly, missing the feeling of his cock stretching you out; you pushed on his lower back with your hands to get him to hurry, and he took the hint, thrusting his hips down to fuck you with a slow but deep stroke. His tip angled against your sensitive spot, and you let out a moan, moving to grip his shoulders needily as his thrusts began to take on a steady rhythm.
All the nervousness you'd felt earlier completely melted away; you were too focused on the sensations of Dico's dick sliding in and out of your pussy, of his warm body pressing up against yours, of his balls slapping against your ass, of his mouth alternating between your lips and your neck. He took one of his hands away from the bed to focus on your body, rubbing and squeezing your nipples with his fingers, and then he slipped it down to rub at your clit and your eyes went wide, a moan slipping out of your mouth so loudly it shocked Dico and you.
"Shit, sorry, you alright? I should've asked first."
You nodding, bucking your hips up to get more friction on your clit.
"Bran, that feels so fucking good. It didn't even occur to me you could do that and fuck me at the same time."
Dico grinned, looking slightly relieved, and he quickly switched into that one 'repressed middle aged dad' voice he was fond of using. "You're talking to the master of sex here, babe, don't sound so surprised."
He continued thrusting into you with heavy strokes, relentlessly rubbing circles over your clit and groaning in pleasure at the feeling of you clenching around his cock. Your arms and legs were wrapped around him, your hands gripping at his toned back and your legs tight around his hips to keep his lower half pressed flush against yours.
As his tip rammed your sensitive spot and his fingers rubbed at your clit, you could feel yourself already starting to reach your orgasm, and you started chasing it, thrusting your hips up against him to drive his cock in deeper and leaning your head back against the pillow. Dico leaned down to press kisses to your exposed neck, whispering to you slightly breathlessly when he realized you were close.
"You feel so fucking good. Don't hold yourself back if you wanna cum, I'm getting close too."
Dico pushed his cock inside all the way to the hilt and just barely bucked his hips forward, the tip rubbing against your sensitive spot over and over again as he continued stimulating your clit with his fingertips.
Dico quickened his pace, desperate to make you finish, and you threw your head back as you came with a loud moan around his cock, your eyes squeezing shut and your mouth dropping open at the overwhelming pleasure. The sight alone was enough to make Dico unravel, and he groaned and buried his face in your neck again, collapsing against you slightly exhaustedly as he came.
The two of you laid together quietly for a moment, breathing heavily as you stroked Dico's hair and took in the afterglow of your first time. You moved to rub his back, and he pulled away from your neck to give you a soft kiss, his voice and eyes both unusually soft as he looked at you.
"How was that? You okay?"
You smiled. "Of course I am, Bran, that was fucking amazing."
Dico laughed, pressing another kiss to your neck and then slowly pulling his cock out of you. There was a slight ache that made you wince, and he apologetically kissed you on the forehead before peeling his body off yours to remove the condom.
You watched him get up, grinning at the sight of his pale ass, and he glanced back to give you a faux-disappointed look.
"Should've known you'd start ogling me as soon as my back was turned, like I'm a cheap whore. I'm not a piece of meat, you know. I have goals and aspirations."
You snickered, playing along. "Right, sure. What exactly are these 'goals and aspirations,' Bran?"
"Well right now, it's to hide this used condom in Rake's bedsheets."
You gasped. "Dico, you're a menace...wait for me, I'll help."
You gingerly got up from the bed, wincing again at the slight pain you could tell was going to turn into soreness by the next day, and Dico laughed, moving to put a supportive arm around your (still bare) waist.
"Here, I fucked up your cervix, I might as well help you get around."
As he helped you to Rake's room, you could feel his eyes on you, and you looked up at him.
"Need something, Bran?"
He shrugged, trying to look casual. "I was just gonna ask if maybe you wanted to go get food after this?"
You grinned. "Is the Brandon Dicamillo asking me on a date?"
Dico rolled his eyes, but the corners of his lips were fighting not to turn upward.
"What can I say? Sleeping together on the first date is kinda slutty, but there's no rule against doing it before the first date."
He opened Rake's door and helped you in with a wicked grin on his face, clearly eager to fuck with his friend, and you smiled as you watched him slip the dirty condom into Rake's bed, laughing so hard you thought your ribs were going to bruise.
Not the aftercare I expected, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
