Stranger Things
One Nice Bug Per Day
oozey mess
ojovivo
Love Begins
Claire Keane
No title available
h
Not today Justin
noise dept.
we're not kids anymore.
ellievsbear
Game of Thrones Daily
The Bowery Presents
Show & Tell
★
taylor price
cherry valley forever
No title available
shark vs the universe
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Argentina
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Spain
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Colombia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
@finallyace
So like the word asexual is said in the Adam Sandler movie ‘I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry’ when listing a bunch of sexualities. And it was made in 2007.
For how unknown asexuality is even now, even among the LGBTQ+ community how did this silly film find this word? I’m sure it didn’t really help with the visibility of ace people, but it was very exciting for me to hear the word being used in the mainstream. I’m not going to lie, I had a mini freakout X)
Whoops, I’m only a day late!
New haircut. Not sure if I like it though :/
Never thought I’d post a pic of me. But here I am lol. Also, apologies for my bad selfie technique!
Oh, I just remembered I do have something to post here.
Ok so the other day at college, my best friend and I were talking to some other people in the class. He mentioned something “another gay guy” said, and one girl reacted like ‘what, your gay? I didn’t know that’, which we were confused about because he’s not exactly quiet about it and because we knew she was gay and presumed we must have talked about it. idk.
She said that she knew I was a lesbian and knew from the first day of college, but her gaydar wasn’t so good with guys. And my boi started to joke about how, of course it was obvious I was, look at that short hair. I thought I was cool with this. We often joke about and I’m not usually affected. However, while he continued to joke about how she hadn't noticed he was gay, I felt like I had to leave the convosation, and went back to my desk in the other studio.
Over about half an hour, I was super emotional, my hands were shaking and I couldn’t focus on my artwork. I didn’t know why I was so affected. I thought that maybe it was because my best friend knew about my issues with my gender, and knew why my hair was short. But it wasn’t like we hadn’t laughed about how I just looked like the ultimate lesbian stereotype. But then I realised that it wasn’t because of that, but because the girl had called me a lesbian.
The fact is, I do not identify as a lesbian. But whether it was because of the erasure of sexualities other than gay and straight, or just because of the way I look, she presumed something about me that I wasn’t, and was perfectly ok with saying it to my face.. But she wasn’t doing it to cause me discomfort. She’s a lovely girl. She thought she wasn’t doing anything wrong.
I also realised how much I realised I felt cut off from them. Just before I left the two of them, they began to bond, I guess because they were both gay. Perhaps they were talking about the possibility of going to a gay bar together. All I knew is that I felt so different from them. I can’t really join in a convosation with them about being gay as much as I can’t with straight people. Well, I can, but the end goal for them is sex. They want to talk about it, how they got with this fit girl at the club, weird stuff that people have asked from them etc. I can’t join in with that. I also can’t really tell them why. It’s just a bit personal to talk about how you don’t really like that stuff. And no-one has every heard of asexuality so everyone thinks you are just too shy, too naive or are broken.
Anyway, my boi noticed something was wrong when he came back to his desk, and I had a little cry (thankfully the studio only had one guy there, with earphones in) and we worked out what was wrong. I didn’t want to tell him about how his comment about my hair made me feel. It was pathetic, and I didn’t want to blame him. He was very apologetic. He’s one the only people who know about my sexuality, the only one about my gender, the only one who I feel I can talk to, and the only one who I feel can help me. I don’t think he knows how much he means to me <3
TL;DR - I apparently don’t like being presumed a lesbian and I feel very cut off from others, in the subject of partners, as no-one I know has a similar experiance as me. And I didn’t realise how much this meant to me, until now.
Ok, so I’m having some issues with this blog. I made it to try and help myself with my asexuality, but that doesn’t seem to be something that needs dealing with right now. Maybe it’s the self hate talking, but I think that for now, it doesn’t matter very much at the moment. I’m able to just lock it away in my mind and forget about it. However, my thoughts have been overrun for the last few months, questioning my gender.
The way I see it, my gender, how I present to the world and how the world interacts with me has a more immediate affect on my life. So I think it’s ok that I’ve kinda shelved my sexuality while I work on my gender. For now anyway.
So I think I might have to make a new blog, about my possibly trans*ness, since this one is very much aimed at the topic of asexality. And hopefully a new blog that I wont neglect :)
Excuse me, but who do you think you are? Hmm? Yes, I’m talking to you, people I’ve come into contact with around my hometown, through the internet.
Why do you think it is ok for you to shout at me from your cars, call out to me from across the road or even audibly whisper to your buddy as I walk by. Your comment about if I’m “a boy or a girl” doesn’t matter. It has nothing to do with you. So why, complete stranger, do you think it is ok to publicly voice it? To judge what I wear and how my hair is cut.
Honestly, it boggles my mind why you feel the need to make sure I know that you are judging me. Sure, if you are going to be ignorant to the fact that there is more to gender than the binary that society focuses on, that is not entirely your fault. But I don’t need to know. And neither does anyone else. It seems that your only goal was to shame me in front of others because I don’t look how you want me to. But why do I have to? I don’t know you. You don’t have to hang out with me. You may never see me again. So it’s not like I could make you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed because of who I am. And if the only reason you expect me to wear crop tops and push up bras - or whatever it is you want from me - is so your view is to your taste, because you think all I am is a creature to objectify just because you see two lumps of fat on my torso, you are very mistaken.
Last weekend I went out clubbing. I know! Me! It was terrifying.
It was only my 3rd time out clubbing and my first time out in a bigger city. It also just happened that this bigger city is known as the ‘gay capital’ of my country. So naturally, for my friend’s birthday, we went to my first gay bar, with a whole manor of LGBT+ friends.
Gotta say, it wasn’t what I was expecting. Not that I know what I was expecting...Maybe rainbow painted walls and pink boas everywhere? Idk.
But, as an asexual in a club, that, although it might not be the intention for everyone, is quite a sexual place. People are drunk, close together and are dancing. And I don’t know if it was because of my introvertedness or my orientation that I felt uncomfortable. Some alcohol helped that, but not completely.
One note I have to mention is that as a unbound DFAB person, with their curves visible but covered with a ‘masculine’ shirt and with a short haircut, lots of guys came up to me. Not saying anything is wrong with that, but it was a gay club. And these were really laddish boys. I’m not meaning to stereotype or anything, but it just seemed odd at a gay club. Or maybe they were all bi. Or maybe they read me as male and I should stop being a bitch and take the complement. Idk. I’ll stop now. It was just interesting to me.
Even though I identify as ace, I still went with the hope of trying some things out on someone, in case I was missing something with the whole intimate thing (now single guys! ;) ). But even when someone had come up to me and we began to dance together, I still felt incredibly uncomfortable. Each time I would keep going though, pushing myself to continue. This sounds extremely stupid and it was, as at one point I’m pretty sure I made myself have a panic attack. Or if it wasn’t one, it was very close! So although I may hate myself because of it, I really do think that I’m asexual...
I also gathered that many people meet that way. I don’t know if it’s the way my brain is wired, but to me it makes no sense. Just because someone looks hot while you’re drunk and they’re in strobe lighting and you danced together, doesn't mean that you know that person. Your personalities, lifestyles or interests may completely clash. At one point, someone commented that one of the guys I had danced to was really into me. But was he? How could he be. He knows nothing about me, other than the awkward dancing he just beheld. :/
Tagged by my bae stitchedtogetherfix
Rules: Tag at least 10 followers you want to get to know better
Name: Alex Nickname: Blox/Akey Birthday: November 25th Star sign: Sagittarius Gender: Hehe, isn't that the question Favourite colour: Blue Time right now: 00:19 Average hours of sleep: Anything from 3-8 really... Last thing I googled: Um...Bee Movie...I'm not proud. Number of blankets: Like 1? If it's the dead of winter and I must. Not really a fan :| Favourite fictional character: Castiel <3 Favourite famous person: Robert Downey Jr. <3 Favourite book: Les Miserables or the Harry Potter series Last movie I saw: What We Do In The Shadows (Hot damn it's amazing) Dream trip: Something I can try a lot of food. Like a road trip of America. Idk. Man vs Food style y'all. Never really thought about it. Though gf brought up the idea of a trip round Europe, and it sounded brilliant. But perhaps that is because of the company I would have <3 ;) Dream job: Concept artist/anything for an animation studio
I tag: impossiblepenguins, starfruitprince, vintage-princessxx, jacewasbornamazing, look-upto-the-stars, love-bianca-world, vividlyprosaic, ms-missing-you, alwaysamanda17, catzlutes
When I was slightly younger and I imagined my future life, there was no hint of dating.
It didn't even cross my mind. I only considered it when others brought it up. And then, I dreaded the thought. Having to pick through the crap to find a good person. Having to build up trust and a relationship. Having to tick all those boxes as you develop as a couple, buying an apparent, getting married etc.
Anyway, when I looked to the future, I usually looked further, when I was a bit older and in a stable relationship. With jobs and a house. I wasn't picky, I just wanted to be...I don’t want to say ‘happy’ and be cliché, but yeah. I never really imagined kids, as I'm not one for children, but this pleasant life really appealed to me. Especially compared to the complicated and unsure dating world.
Perhaps I was just anxious about having to build a new relationship and paranoid about potentially driving someone away, while in a long-term relationship means that you know eachother well, get on, and they have proved, by being there, that they enjoy your company. Perhaps it’s because I was confused about romance/sex etc, but that’s for another post - or the rest of the blog.
Guys. I have an ace ring now and I love it. Bought it at London Comic Con, so I love it even more.
It’s slightly too big, but the size down was slightly too small, as my middle finger’s knuckle is huge compared to the base of the finger…But I can live with it.
Anyway, I love wearing it, even if most people don't get what it signifies. I feel like it’s a constant reminder of our community and a reminder that we are real. That we exist and that my feelings are valid.
(Please ignore the bad and slowly fading henna ;))
Ok. So it’s taken me a few days to post, but...I came out to my Mum, a person who has previously (like the rest of my family) been openly homophobic, on the 30th May.
Disclaimer - read at your own peril. Thar be ramblin’ ahead. So, congrats if you get to the end. This is more for me to remember, but please, continue if you want.
By this point in time, I'd been going out with my girlfriend for just over 4 months. And with the nearing of each end of month since we got together, I would tell myself that I would have to tell my mum. Before the end of 2014, before Valentines Day, before the end of term, before April. The words were on the tip of my tongue everytime I saw her. Almost the only thing I thought about when around my family was how I was going to come out. All I had to do was say it. But I never did. So I would angrily mentally repeat my preplanned words at myself, telling myself how it was easy to do. Just say it.
The stress of this secret (and the limitations it put on my relationship) was really getting to me. So much that my tutor knew all about it and gave me endless advice and gentle prodding. With this last push (mostly because I hadn't done my coursework for her, so I wanted to accomplish something else to tell her), I told my mum that I needed to tell her something. However, on this day, I had stalled for so long that I then didn’t have time to actually talk to her, as I needed to go off to school.
I set myself a final goal. I was not going to let the week pass since when I told her I had to talk to her. So, a week later, and with the pressing knowledge that I was going to see Whiplash soon (Don't even talk to me about it. Omg. thefeelsarereal) and so had a limited time prompted me to go and sit in the kitchen and basically force the words out while mum cooked dinner. I literally just sat by our little breakfast table and watched her, waiting for the words to somehow leave my mouth, appear in the air and drift into her ears.
Mum could see I was stressed and knew that I was trying to tell her my thingy. I kept trying to say it but would freeze up. This only made me angrier at myself. I tried to relax by joking around and going off on tangents like talking about the cat (which I was petting furiously to calm myself.) She tried to coax it out of me gently by coming to sit with me, but kept having to get up to see to the dinner.
One time, I stood up with her, hoping that this less lax position would be the final factor to my success in telling her. I was running out of time now. I laughed at how silly I was being and said how I just wanted to clap my hands and sing it out, like I was in a musical - which amused mum. I laughed again and did a little shoulder jiggle with dance-like fist movement and said out loud, “____ is my girlfriend”.
Holy shit. Did those words just come out of my mouth? I mean, yeah, I had been furiously chanting them mentally the whole time. And during my stupid jig, they fell out of my face.
Now, I don't really know how else I could have begun the convosation. Honestly, this whole story is very ‘me’ and I’m sure one day I won't cringe as much at the memory, and it will be funny, as it seems to have been for the few people I’ve told. I hope. For months I had continuously changed what sentence I was going to use to start out my coming out thingy. The usual starting point is ‘”I’m gay”. But I’m not, so I couldn't start with that. I couldn't even say “I’m bi”, cause I’m not that either. Though it might be easier for people with less lgbtq+ knowledge to understand, but I didn't want to misidentify myself because of this. I thought about starting with “I have a girlfriend” it didn't seem the best way of starting a convosation, to me. My main issue is that I couldn't start with “I’m an asexual panromantic”. None of my family know what those labels are. Let alone believe they exists. So my plan was to begin with “I’m gay - kinda” and then go into a quick, information-vomit that is almost characteristic of my way of speaking sometimes. It wouldn’t by lying about myself and I though it would make it easier to understand - but I would have had to explain everything. Not that that’s a problem in the long run. But as I said, I was running out of time before I had to leave the house. Anyway. I’d said something to get the talk going.
Mum was surprised. I don't know what she was expecting me to tell her. But I don't think it was that I had a girlfriend. I had been friends with my gf before, so she didn't really see a change in behaviour. I guess she didn't take it badly. Though she didn't ask as many questions as I thought she would. Almost straight away she warned us to not get in trouble with my gf’s parents, who would take the news in a very different way to her calm reaction.
She went upstair for a sec to get the washing basket and came back to find me in tears, ugly crying. I tried to explain that it was that I finally felt like I wasn't being a fraud. So far, the only person who knew everything was my girlfriend. I haven't really mentioned it on here, but I’ve been going through some really tough times, mentally, in the last few years with depression and I’ve only recently told a few people and started medication. At school, everyone knew about my girlfriend and I and a few of my closest friends knew I was on medication, but not why. I'd mentioned it to my teaches as I felt like I had to explain why my grades were doing poorly. At home, my mum only recently learnt of my mental illness, but the rest of the family knew nothing. So, wherever I went, I felt like I was faking who I was, as no-one knew the entire me. And finally, someone in my family did. They were tears of relief.
All mum could say was that she wished I was more like her, and just exploded and ranted till her issue was dealt with, instead of burying it within until it starts to leak out. I mentioned how I had found it so hard to say anything because of how openly homophobic the family were, which shut her up.
We stopped talking for a bit, while mum was just doing the final bits towards dinner before she said, “I don't get it. You've had a boyfriend”. This hit me hard. I had forgotten how not everyone is as informed as the people I come into contact with on tumblr. Because I'd had a ‘boyfriend’ - who I felt uncomfortable at the thought of holding hands with him, let alone doing anything else - for a week was I was like 15, doesn’t mean that I can’t realise later on that I am gay/bi etc. I told her that just because I had a girlfriend, doesn't mean I was renouncing boys. But after staying this, I remembered how she had recently said how she doesn't believe bisexuality is real. Which she again repeated to me, after I had basically said ‘I still like both’. However, then we hit the wall of ‘acepan’ again. Since she has trouble with bisexuality, I doubt she was accept pans, let alone understand romantic love over sexual love. Not right now anyway. On reflection, I should have asked her what my ‘boyfriend’ had to do with my girlfriend.
After all this, she made me hug her, which was weird cause I don't think we've done that since I told her I have been depressed and suicidal for years, and since I was little before that.
Anyway, so now mum knows about me. I want to ask her questions and for her to ask me questions. However, I’ve noticed that I now feel guilty at the thought of bringing up my girlfriend (who I used to talk about all the time when we were friends and mum still thought we were friends). I don’t know. The first step’s been taken. There’s just a whole staircase more. And then the rest of the bloody family. I’ve got a game plan though. My brother is going to be super rude about it, homophobic to my face and everything, but I don’t give a shit. I don't know how dad will react, but I don't think it will be badly. He might be confused and slightly grossed out, but he’s pretty chill. After that, I see my paternal grandparents the most out of my extended family, so I may just slip it into a convosation, as me and ma bruh are staying around theirs this weekend so we can go see ‘Cats’ in London. That’s how confident I’m feeling. I don't know about the rest of the family, as we don't see them as much, but I'll deal with that when I get to it.
Also, I don't know why, but after recent events, I've gained lots of new subs. Honestly, I don't know why anyone would follow my silly blog. Message me? I’m really interested.
Anyway, welcome new and old subs! Strap in for a bumpy ride filled with prattle and random memories. Whoop!
Ok, so I still have a lot to apologise for about this post (x). My last apology (x) did not cut it for many people. And on reflection, after reading many messages from other bloggers, I see that it is not up to scratch.Well, that’s an understatement.
The most blatant mistake I made was in using swear words during my rant about how to correct someone’s mistake calmly and without cursing. Which just does not add up. Even when I read my post again, it sounds weird, because my response was a mix of my own and people I know’s response. I told very few about my controversial post, as I didn't want to publicise that I had a blog that my IRL peeps didn't know about - that I'd rather they didn't read, as I put my mind’s insecurities, ramblings and queries there. But those that I told advised me to take the ‘warrior-like’ approach, by taking the offensive. Which is where the swearing came from. Usually I am not so angry. So yeah. Hypocrisy. That’s fun
What I think have learnt most from this, about myself at least, is that my fundamental understanding of what the LGBT+ community was wrong. As an anon said, “it's for the QUEER community. Not the movement to liberation. Don’t confuse the two.” It appears I was confusing the two. But now I know. Allies should not be part of the acronym. They are helpful and appreciated, but don’t need to be included as the ‘A’.
Someone said my original post is now being used as a tool for teaching others about allies and their place in the LGBT+ community. All I can say is, I hope my mistake helps as many people as possible understand it better.
And thanks everyone you pointed out how I was being ableist. I am deeply sorry. Honestly, I didn't even think that it could be offencive. It’s used so freely where I live that it didn't even cross my mind. Not that that’s an excuse. I’m online enough that I should have learnt.
I hope I got everything this time.
Just saw your oldish post about "gay" relationships and wanted to let you know it's generally better to use "same sex relationship" as "gay relationship" isn't inclusive of people who are, well, not gay. "Gay relationship" implies that both parties are homosexual and that is not always the case. One or both could be bi, pan, ace, etc. and that's erased a lot with people talking about "gay marriage" when you don't have to be gay to want to marry someone of the same sex/gender.
That was really just about my girlfriend and I ^^'. We make jokes that we're 'sooo gayyy' (with ironic valley girl accents obv, cause we're silly brits and that amuses us) and I wanted to know if this was wrong, as we both don't identify as gay.
But thanks for the clarification!
hey I read the response to your post and I kind of want to say something but I'm on my phone and don't know if you would accept my comments.. is it ok if I say something about it later?
Hey, please fire away.
I'm getting tons of responses (thankfully lots more are kinder about their correctiveness!) and would love to hear any thoughts people have on it. I'm finding this very interesting and am learning a lot.
i think i'm bi? I'm really confused. I feel like i have to be straight or gay. or that it's just a phase. I haven't talked to anyone about. And I'm scared that my friends will think that if i'm attracted to girls and guys, that i'll want them as more than a friend. But thats not true. I'm just really confused rn. How did you know you weren't straight?
Hey, not sure if I'm the best to ask, I'm still new at this. Especially at giving advice! Right, prepare yourself for a chunk of text - sorry about that.
Ok, firstly, don't stress. There is plenty of time for figuring it out. Also, remember that you don't have to be straight or gay. Don't listen to those around you who say that bisexuality/pansexuality etc. doesn't exist. You may be straight, gay, bi, pan etc. There are loads of different labels, and I hope you find one that fits you and helps you understand yourself.
And while it may be a phase, don't put it down to one right away. It may not be and I don't want you to repress yourself.
What I did firstly, was spend lots of time researching and teaching myself about different sexual and, once I learned about them, romantic orientations. I read posts on tumblr by finding blogs either about one person's experiance or advice blogs that are written by multiple people, read forums and watched videos. Lots and lots of videos. I don't know. I found that actually seeing a person talk about it helped me understand and perhaps put myself in their shoes, to see if how they felt matched how I did.I too hadn't talked to anyone about it. But by using what I found out, I was able to narrow things down, then looking into possible labels further.
Also, you should look into both sexual and romantic orientation. As they might not match up - eg, being homosexual but biromantic. This may be what is confusing you. I don't know if it is because I identify as asexual (no sexual attraction), but once I found that label, everything became clearer for me. When trying to figure myself out, I would 'test' my feelings by looking at boys and then girls and thinking, 'Would I like to touch that' and 'Would I want them to touch me' etc - hoping to find 'yes' as an answer and therefore know if I was straight, gay or bi. But I didn't want to do anything sexual with either. This made me think I must be bisexual, as both genders were equal in my attraction for them. When I found out about asexuality, it all made sense.Next up I had to work out my romantic attraction. While I have a girlfriend now (a year after realising I was asexual), and love her, I'm pretty sure I could love a dude or anyone anywhere on the gender spectrum. So although I haven't felt what I would call 'romantic attraction' towards anyone else, I identify as panromantic. But that could change. You can always decide to change how you identify.
About the 'friends thinking you're attracted to them' issue, there's not much I can say. I just hope that they are open minded enough to accept you and see you for the great friend that you are. It is a common issue of eg. guys feeling uncomfortable around a newly-out guy friend, but this seems to be a problem for same sex friendships. Even though hetrosexuality is common and accepted, girls aren't likely to feel the same level of discomfort with a guy friend than a gay girl friend - if they do feel uncomfortable. It's like a type of homophobia, even without the individual knowing or meaning to do it. I'm sure that once you're ready and you explain yourself, however you decide to identify, they will try their best to accept you. Best scenario, you guys will be the same as before!
TL:DR - You don't have to be straight or gay. Be you. And remember that there are other orientations than just those two. And if your friends are true friends and you explain how you feel about yourself properly, educating them if they don't understand, everything should be fine.I would recommend finding out about other people's experiences and hopefully you will find someone who matches how you feel. Do lots of research on tumblr, forums and youtube to learn all you can, and hopefully you can find something to identify with!
If you want, feel free to message me again if you would like more advice, anonymously or not (if you feel comfortable enough)! I hope I helped even a little bit xx
Stop this ‘A is for asexual not ally’ bullshit. It is also for ally. And aromantic. And literally anything else that begins with ‘A’ that is queer.
Don’t be fucking stupid and push away those that are trying to help us/need help
ALLIES ARE NOT QUEER
THAT IS THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF THEM
IF YOU ARE STRAIGHT BUT ATTEMPT TO CO-OPT A QUEER IDENTITY BY CLAIMING A LETTER IN THE ALPHABET SOUP
YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING ALLY
END OF STORY
Ok. So it appears I made a huge mistake with my last post (x). It was very early in the morning, I was tired, affected with my new medication's side effects and had been on the internet for way too long, so was feeling confident enough to try and speak out. I had never tried this before.
But honestly. Fuck you. Every one of you who was negative to my post. Allow me to explain. And please read this with a calm tone. That's how I'm writing it. I really do just want to clear this up, apologise for accidentally offending anyone and learn from this.
When I joined tumblr, I was delighted to find a place filled with dorks like myself, obsessed with all of my favourate things. As I spent more time on here, I found advice and equality blogs that aimed to teach others. And because I live in quite a conservative area, I didn't know of or was taught to be discriminative of many things. Since then, I've been educating myself on LGBT+ and mental illness etc. Everything I could. I want to understand. To accept. Tumblr also helped and is helping me realise who I am. It taught me about asexuality. And taught me coping behaviours for depression and suicidal thoughts.
I was so happy when I made this blog. I never wanted to become a famous blogger. I just wanted somewhere to write down my thoughts. I felt proud to have a purely LGBT+ blog. If it helped someone, brilliant. But it was never intended for that. I'm not the best with words and knew that I don't have what it takes to be one of those educational and equality-fighting bloggers.
One day I post something. Something that I should probably have saved to drafts to reread another day, to edit before I posted it.
This post is my most popular post, by far. My second most successful one has 12 notes. 12. Once seeing this one get to 100 notes within its first day, reading the first negative comments, I didn't sleep because of anxiety for what it could turn into. I was frightened. I've seen how intense these tumblr fights can get.
I've been told to 'Shut the fuck up', tagged with' #ableist slurs' (can someone tell me how I was being ableist? Genuinely don't know.) and told in many ways, some much more politely than others, that allies are not queer and that my statement was wrong.
I now see how people interpreted my post to saying that allies are queer. "Stop this ‘A is for asexual not ally’ bullshit. It is also for ally. And aromantic. And literally anything else that begins with ‘A’ that is queer." What I meant by this is that 'A' stands for Ally, Asexual, Aromantic and any other, lesser known or new labels, such as Autosexual, so I included everyone. I didn't mean that allies were queer. I know they are not. Well, some are. But it's not a given. Though I understand the argument that Allies don't need to be part of the acronym, as those that are pure allies aren't 'queer', and those that are, are covered by the many other letters. However, I also think that they should be included. I always saw the LGBT+ community as a place to be safe, to learn and be accepted. It's a group that fights for equality and justice. Although allies aren't directly affected by the discrimination and inequality, they are part of our safe place and are fighting with us. I see no reason why they can't be part of the acronym. But that comes down to what I personally see this community to be.
May I just say, that most of the comments and messages I got were people telling me, most people doing it rudely, that allies weren't queer. Sure, if that's what you thought I meant, as it was badly written, ok, thanks for telling me. But most of you could have said it better. Capslock, swearing and personal insults are not a way of teaching someone something. For a community that wants to educate everyone, so we can all be equal, there are better fucking ways of doing it. If I had been someone who was just learning about asexuals etc, and had posted about how the 'A' stood for aces too, not just allies, and had been greeted with the same agitated comments, I'm pretty sure I would question my efforts of activism and publicity of that part of the community. I have to say though, the anon messages I received were actually the nicest corrective comments I got, which seems odd, as it goes against the usual anon behaviour, while the non-anon messages were among the worst.
I am also sorry for using the word 'queer'. Many people seemed to be offended by this, saying it was "still a slur". I'm sorry! I used it as a blanket term to mean anyone not of the norm - and who is of the LGBT+ community. I thought it was accepted that we had reclaimed it for ourselves, to be used this way. I did not mean to offend anyone.
So yeah. It's taken me this long to respond to this because I just had to take a few days to gather myself. Seeing a community that for the last few years has been teaching me acceptance, has supported and given myself and many, many others advise and has given everyone a safe place to be turn my post into a massive shitstorm really upset me. Like I said, I know tumblr has these fights. I just didn't expect it to come from the LGBT+ side. Maybe if I had posted that I hate Benedict Cumberbatch, I would have expected a shitstorm of angry fans. But not from you guys.
If you take anything from this, please remember to tell someone of their errors politely. Educate them. Don't just tell them they are wrong and laugh about them.
(I really hope I expressed myself how I intended this time round. I'm not trying to offend anyone. Please tell me nicely if I explained myself in a way you see as wrong. I am literally the least confrontational person I know. I can't stand arguments or even people who are quite passionate in their opinion. There is always the danger they could become agitated if you don't agree with them outright. And that scares me. This is one reason why I don't usually post stuff like this. It avoids the confrontation with angry people. That'll teach me for posting.
Well, I'm going to have a fun night, getting anxiety that I worded this right and if the right message got across. And that everyone sees this)
Stop this 'A is for asexual not ally' bullshit. It is also for ally. And aromantic. And literally anything else that begins with 'A' that is queer.
Don't be fucking stupid and push away those that are trying to help us/need help
(Edit 13/3/15 - Please read these! Sorry they are so long though. Apology#1 Apology#2)
