Strategies to try on your POT/SD
1) Benefactor-Before-Beggar
SDs are used to being treated as the benefactor, but I think many of them fear giving and giving and getting nothing in return. Although they are rich and a few thousand dollars may mean nothing to them, it still hurts to get duped. My SD and POTs tell me about their many experiences with girls who deceive them for a month’s allowance and never hear from them again.
Shit, if I was a millionaire… I would feel pretty dumb and put my guard up the next time around. No one wants to feel like a fool. That’s why the benefactor-before-beggar strategy works in my experience. Give them something, and then wait for them to give something back. Human beings have a unique trait of not wanting to owe anyone anything. This is the rule of reciprocity. Give them something to owe. This does not mean sleep with them. I do something small. I will bake some cookies or buy a few candies and package them with a cute ribbon. Even a little card would suffice. Write something like, “Hopefully this is the start of something exciting!”
This is a great way to get the allowance you want and more. I’m sure you’ve seen to double the allowance he offers you, and then meet in the middle. Do you know why this works? By doubling the allowance and agreeing to meet in the middle, it seems like you are willing to make a concession. If someone makes a concession, it is only polite for the other party to make a concession as well. (Important to
Think of it like this… You’re asked to donate $100 to a charity. You don’t have the means to do that… so you say no. The person then asks you to make a donation of $10. Ten dollars seems awfully small to $100 right? What if a person asked you to donate $10 upfront without asking for $100 first? You wouldn’t right?
Similarly, if you ask for a large allowance… and then follow it with a smaller allowance, it makes the allowance you want seem more doable. “I was thinking more $6,000, but I am willing to meet you in the middle and do $5,000.” He feels as if he is saving $1,000.
This seems pretty “duh.” People are more likely to do things for people that they like. Did you know that how well someone likes you is twice as likely to determine a purchase than liking the product itself?
Get your SD to like you as a person, not a product.
Be attractive to him! Make sure you are always well groomed, smell good and act with class. Attractive people are better liked and more frequently helped.
People like people who are similar to them. If you have the means to do so, stalk your POT/SD and learn everything about them. Listen to what he tells you. If he’s a lawyer, read up about some things relating to law. If he’s in finance, read some current stories relating to the economy. If he likes sports, study some of his favorite teams. You can subtly manipulate him into liking you by imitating his interests and background.
I researched everything I could about my POT. I watched video interviews of him, read articles about him and studied his past and current companies. That way, if/when he wants to talk about his accomplishments / work, I can properly compliment him and hold a decent conversation about it.
Men love to be flattered. Your SD probably never hears that he is attractive or handsome. So tell him. People love to believe compliments even when they know it is false.
Imagine it this way. You are having a fantastically crappy day. Your hair is a mess, your eyeliner is smearing, you failed your exam… and someone comes along and tells you that you look great. Even though you know it isn’t true, it still serves to make you feel better.
Of course, do not overdo this. Make your compliments as genuine as possible. If he isn’t handsome, but he has a way with words, you can say, “I really love the way you talk. It’s so eloquent.” If he dresses well, “I love the way you dress. That suit looks great on you, and I can’t keep my eyes off of you.” Other ones to try are, “You have great taste in food. You always bring me to the best restaurants” or “You are so cultured and sophisticated. I find that really attractive in a man.”
Flattery helps him believe in his fantasy that a younger woman is truly into him… maybe not only for his money.
The kind of clothes you wear is a big indicator of your status and power. An SD who claims to be a CEO of a multimillion-dollar company that shows up to dinner in a t-shirt and ill-fitting jeans from Sears probably won’t be very believable. An SB who claims to have experience with SDs who have spoiled her and shows up to dinner in a t-shirt and ill-fitting jeans won’t be very believable either.
Now imagine your POT comes to dinner in a well-tailored suit, an expensive watch and styled hair. See the difference? Expensive looking clothes are closely associated with wealth, power, status and authority. Try to invest in well-made clothing. If you are just starting out and cannot afford it, don’t worry. It doesn’t have to cost $500 to look good. Sometimes a $30 shirt can look just as great, if not better. Always look at the material and stitching of the item.
Why would an SD give YOU $5,000 allowance when someone just like you, if not better, will take $1,000?
Make yourself seem rare and unique. Objects appear to be more valuable to us when they are scarce. When you go to the store, and there is only one handbag left… you are more likely to buy it than if there were 100 handbags left. I never let my POTs know how free I am. I pretend to have multiple jobs and little time. This makes them value the time they share with you more. People are more motivated by the thought of losing something than the thought of gaining it. Make him feel like he is missing out on spending time with you.
For example, a POT wants to meet. I always say, “Well, I will be free at xxx until xxx. I have to run to work after.” He is more likely to take this opportunity to meet me than if I said, “I am free all week.” This also gives you an out. If the date isn’t going well, you have an excuse to escape.
If something interferes with what we want, we respond by wanting it more than ever. When something becomes unavailable, it suddenly becomes more valuable.
** These are tips I learned from The Psychology of Persuasion**
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