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Oh my gosh. I just spent pretty much all day reading every single last thing in this blog. I love your back pain au and your random snippets blog (I think I got that right?) and this one is just as good. I'm honestly amazed at how good of a writer you are. I love all of your fanfics so much. Thankyou for existing you wonderful amazing human.

Aaaaa thank you so much!! :D It really means a lot to me and i love when folks follow me into sideblogs, lol. Thank you again!! <3 I’m so glad you like this verse! Even if it became more about HCs than actual stories, lol

#riley-jaybird

Do you have a master list for your Fics in this AU?

I do not, not yet. I keep meaning to go make a masterpost but I haven’t gotten around to doing it yet.

Occasionally I’ll just remember this au exists and get happy. Not a question it just sparks joy :)

:D This ask sparks joy too!!! <3

I don't mean to bother you with a question that isn't about your AU, but I wanted to share that every time I read the url, my brain adds "do do do do" like in the song "here comes the sun". I just thought that was amusing? (Again sorry that this isn't about the AU oops)

Fair enough, lol! It actually IS a song lyric, but not the Beatles. It’s from this beautiful Melissa Etheridge song, This War is Over:

I just really love this au so much ♡ your answers are so detailed and have so much information. I was wondering, would Patton ever ask Virgil to get some kind of pet? And would Virgil want to have a pet in the first place?

Patton wouldn’t mind if Virgil wanted one, but it doesn’t come up for awhile. Virgil doesn’t have much experience with animals, but dogs make him anxious (they’re too jumpy and excitable) and Patton is allergic to cats, so they just...don’t have one and don’t think much of it?

Virgil does get introduced to the horses up at the farm, but he’s too nervous to be in the paddock with them. He does think they’re pretty though. And it’s cool to see Patton riding them and interacting with them (they love Patton and Virgil thinks it’s just wild to see these massive things that look so dangerous just nuzzling up on Patton like big puppies).

I think he might eventually get a snake, but not until after he’s adopted. Something low maintenance but cool. Elliot loves snakes (it’s one of their special interests) and they have a couple different kinds in terrariums at home. Logan encourages the interest because Science! Roman doesn’t love the snakes but he tolerates them because he knows how much Elliot loves them. So I could see Elliot eventually talking Virgil into getting one of his own. Probably a ball python since they’re really mellow and docile and are good snakes for beginners.

#snakes #snake mention

I'm not sure if anyone brought this up before. Where there any misunderstandings that Virgil had whenever Patton was nervous about a surprise for Virge? Like if Patton was going to surprise him and was really nervous about giving it to him or going to talk about him with something serious, did Virgil ever think that, 'this is it, this is where i get sent back, he never wanted me;' I'm new and I love your blog so much! I'm to look through at the past stuff I haven't seen-

Welcome!! :D I hope you enjoy it here!! This blog is my passion project and I adore getting questions here so you’ve made my day!!!

As for your question--absolutely. At first, Virgil just expected to get sent back any moment, pretty much. And at first he wouldn’t have minded too much--sure, Patton seemed nice, but a lot of people seemed nice at first. They got to feel like they were “rescuing” him so it was kind of like getting to play superman, but the second they realized he wasn’t actually some angelic little cherub but just a skinny kid with anxiety and health problems who didn’t fit in anywhere and was more trouble than he was worth, the appeal of playing “heroic rescuer” wore off. He absolutely expected that of Patton at first.

So yeah, for the first month or so, I’d say that’s absolutely what he expected. Especially after the first time Patton tried to take him shopping for clothes and they went to the most expensive department store in town and Virgil freaked out and had a panic attack? Yeah. No way was Virgil gonna last when he couldn’t even manage to let Patton do the whole savior-spoiling-the-poor-little-orphan bit right. (Patton wasn’t the first person to ever try to spoil Virgil). And after the bathtub incident, he really expected to be sent back.

But Patton was actually really...really cool about both of those things? He understood Virgil’s anxieties about the expensive clothes and instead let him shop at a thrift store and the local Wal Mart; he understood Virgil’s fears about sleeping in a bedroom with no door and willingly traded him for the smaller downstairs room where Virgil felt safer and more private.

So after that, the fears shifted to Virgil really not wanting to leave and really hoping that Patton wouldn’t get tired of him--which of course made the fears worse.

The trip to the art store went a long way toward assuaging those fears, because here was finally a place where Virgil was more than happy to let Patton spoil him (because art supplies, are you kidding??? Virgil was a kid in a candy store!). But even though he had a great time that afternoon, he definitely had second thoughts later. Sure, Patton seemed happy to let him buy all those supplies, and he hadn’t even blinked at the total cost, but...but what if it was some kind of test? What if he was supposed to be restrained? What if he was supposed to be more grateful than he’d acted? What if, what if, what if.

So when Patton approached him about going to the farm to visit the family, Virgil definitely thought at first that it was the “I’m sending you back” talk, because Patton was a little anxious about it. He sat him down and said, “I don’t want you to be overwhelmed, and I know this might sound a little scary, but I promise you, it will be a good thing” and Virgil just cringed, waiting to hear “you’ll be better off if they can find you somewhere you’re really wanted” or something.

Of course, instead, Patton said they were going to his family’s farm for the holidays, and that brought up a whole NEW set of worries. He knew Roman and Logan and Elliot, sure, and yeah okay they seemed to like him, but he’d also heard stories and seen from pictures about how huge Patton’s family was, and what were the odds they’d all like him? There was no way. This was probably a trip to get everyone’s opinion on him, and vote on him, and...and there was no way they’d end up wanting to keep him. Once the whole family told Patton how awful Virgil really was, how boring or shy or whatever...surely they’d talk Patton into getting rid of him.

And then Virgil felt himself getting sick while out there, which was just...the icing on the proverbial cake, because he was already enough trouble with his stupid panic attacks, but he could not, absolutely could NOT ruin this big family holiday gathering with another one of his stupid episodes.

So that’s why he ended up hiding how sick he was until it was almost too late--but that’s another story.

After he woke up in the hospital and found Patton still there, and heard the story about how they got him down to the hospital from up at the farm in spite of the ice and snow, and about how the whole family was worried about him and how Patton had clearly not left his side--well...some of those fears faded a little bit.

But that didn’t mean that Virgil didn’t fear the worst, when his birthday rolled around and he turned 18 at last and Patton came in with his “we need to talk” bit. Sure, it ended up being the opposite, but there was absolutely a moment of the old knee-jerk fear there.

I hope this answers your question friend!! Thanks for sending it!

sweetest-honeybee

Commission for @randomslasher // @findmethesun

findmethesun

The day of Virgil and Patton’s court date to finalize Virgil’s adoption, the entire family came to celebrate. Logan, Elliot, and Roman bought them matching t-shirts for the occasion and insisted on a photo shoot. Virgil and Patton spent most of the day laughing every time they saw the shirts (and maybe getting getting just a little teary eyed from happiness, but don’t tell anyone).

A commission from @sweetest-honeybee who works SUPER FAST and does INCREDIBLE WORK. I literally could not be happier with this! She put up with my tweaks and requests cheerfully the whole time!! Thank you friend!!!

after virgil gets adopted, does he ever get to a place where he feels comfortable telling patton when he feels insecure/unwanted? how do virgil and patton deal with that?

He does, yes!

They actually have a really good conversation about it on Virgil’s birthday. After Patton comes in to ask him how he wants to handle the adoption thing, and Virgil reveals he’s surprised that Patton wants to adopt him, they hug it out for awhile, but then they do talk about it.

Virgil tells Patton that it’s not that he ever doubted Patton, or thought he was lying when he said he cared about Virgil or anything--it was that he just couldn’t quite comprehend a reality where he, Virgil, wouldn’t somehow screw it up eventually. He’s been operating with a very deep belief that he is, at his core, broken somehow. Undeserving of or perhaps incapable of receiving love. It’s a belief borne of long years of loneliness and neglect, and it is hard to overcome right away, even with all the love and reassurance Patton and the Sanders family can provide.

Fortunately, though, Patton does understand this. Virgil was worried at first that Patton would take it personally, that Virgil still had doubts--that he would think it was his own failing or worse, be upset or even angry. But he wasn’t at all. The way Patton put it: “It’s like you’ve been starving your whole life, and one or two good meals isn’t going to fix that damage right away. It would be absurd to think it could. But we’ll just keep you on a steady diet of three square meals a day and eventually I think we’ll get you to a place where you’ll stop wondering if each meal is your last.”

So when Virgil is feeling low, or unwanted, or scared, or lonely, the first thing Patton or the others do for him is reassure him that he’s allowed to feel however he feels, and that feelings aren’t bad. Then they ask him what would be the best thing to do to make those feelings go away. A hug? A cuddle day? A day out doing something fun? Time alone? A movie marathon?

Then, whatever it is Virgil needs, that’s what they do. It gets easier and easier for Virgil to ask, and as time passes, he finds he has to ask less and less frequently.

And in the meantime, well, Patton isn’t at all shy about reminding Virgil how much he’s loved and wanted!

Ah shoot, just found this account/story. Guess I’m gonna have to binge read what’s written

Well, welcome! I hope you enjoy it! There are about 3 sequential chapters, then after that this blog is mostly ask-answers and the occasional one-shot fics. Feel free to send in any asks about anything you’d like to know more about!

Idk if you've already answered this, but what mental health struggles did Virg have before finding a home and learning to trust some people? I assume anxiety, but is there anything else or more details you have on that?

Anxiety and depression, though the depression was more situational than anything else. Once he settled in with Patton, the depression improved significantly. The anxiety is chemical, but he is in therapy and they’re working on finding a good medication for the attacks. A lot of them are mitigated by having more stable circumstances, too, though. And an understanding family really helps a lot (Patton doesn’t suffer from anxiety, but Elliot does, and the whole family has gotten very educated about it so they would know how to help them, so that kind of bled very naturally over into being able to help Virgil through his attacks).

What are some homemade dinners or sweet treats that Patton makes that Virgil absolutely adores?

Honestly Virgil is kind of a sucker for Patton’s cooking. Patton is the first to say his cooking is terrible (and in some cases he’s honestly not wrong) but Virgil adores how hard Patton tries to find things he likes, and how he’ll never say Virgil is being too picky if he doesn’t like a certain texture or vegetable or something. Virgil loves simple homemade food and that’s kind of Patton’s specialty so they get along really well when it comes to food.

Their absolutely favorite is homemade pizza. They make them together and it’s always a fun evening activity, usually before a movie marathon, so while the taste is simple and maybe not the fanciest thing ever, it just holds so much warmth and good feeling for Virgil.

How did Virgil handle it the first time Patton got sick while he lived there?

Patton is pretty hale and hearty and very very rarely gets sick, but he does get the occasional migraine, which knock him out. Virgil found him one morning sitting up in the darkened den, a cool cloth over his forehead and a trash can in his lap, pale and sweating and moaning quietly. He panicked, not knowing what was wrong, and when he said Patton’s name, Patton winced away from the sound and hissed, “Migraine,” before being sick in the trash can and moaning some more.

Virgil immediately ran next door to ask Logan and Roman for help. Logan told him there was nothing to do except let him wait it out in as much darkness and silence as possible. Virgil thought about staying over at Logan and Roman’s to keep things quiet for Patton, but didn’t like the idea of Patton at home alone, so he went back. He brought Patton a glass of water (setting it very carefully on the table next to the couch) then sat down on the floor in front of the couch and very carefully reached up and slipped his hand into Patton’s, squeezing his fingers once. Just a very gentle, silent, “I’m here if you need me” gesture.

Patton was too sick to respond but Virgil didn’t mind. He stayed like that until his butt went numb from sitting on the floor and his legs both fell asleep, just waiting poised in case Patton needed him. Eventually he nodded off, and only woke up when he felt Patton’s hand squeezing of his. By then it was dark outside, and he blinked and looked up and heard Patton murmur, “Virge? Have you been here all day?”

And Virgil just kind of mumbled, “Didn’t want you to be alone in case you needed anything. D’you need anything?”

Patton was literally too touched to even speak but he squeezed Virgil’s hand again and brought it up to kiss his fingers and then Virgil helped him get up and walk to the bathroom. While Patton brushed his teeth, Virgil took out the soiled trash bag, and when he came back in Patton had turned on a few low lamps and smiled and asked if he wanted to eat something.

Virgil heated up some leftover lasagna and they sat on the couch and watched cartoons on low and Patton fell asleep, so Virgil covered him up with a blanket and curled up on the other arm of the sectional couch and dozed off with him.

The next morning Logan and Roman found them both asleep on the sofa with Steven Universe on the TV and plates with lasagna leftovers on the floor.

#vomit mention #migraine mention

Has Virgil ever had to spend a week away from Patton (for any reason) and stay with Logan and Roman and Elliot?

They live literally next door, so no. Even if he was hanging out with them, he’d come home to sleep in his own bed for convenience and comforts’ sake. He does spend a lot of time over there, but it’s just a quick jaunt across the lawn and he’s back home. Patton spends a lot of time over there too. If you want to get real technical about it, Patton helped raise Elliot, and he and Roman are practically QPs, and he and Logan are twins and are super close, so it’s basically like one family living in two homes. The only reason Patton ever moved into the house next door was to give Logan and Roman some privacy (which they did not ask him for and did not feel the need to have, but Patton insisted).

Virgil has spent time away from the house on Pearl street when he went with everyone up to the farm at Christmas, but Patton went with him. So it still wasn’t time away or anything.

how does virgil eventually end up decorating his room once he's more comfortable? does he get patton/roman/logan to help him with any of it?

He’s so shy about it for so long! Other than a few framed photos he was really anxious about decorating. It felt like he might jinx his chances of staying if he was so presumptuous as to decorate.

After he and Patton finally talk about the adoption, though, he finally asks (very shyly and hesitantly) if he might look at getting some posters or artwork for his walls.

They go all out. Patton is just so happy he asked! They have Logan and Roman and Elliot come over and help, and they move out all the furniture and paint the walls (dark purple except for one accent wall that is black--Roman and Virgil paint a space scene with gas giants and nebulas on this, with Logan and Elliot consulting for accuracy). Then they get posters of Virgil’s favorite bands and some of his favorite art pieces, and put glow-in-the-dark sticky stars on the ceiling, and get him a loft bed and set up an art easel and computer desk underneath. Logan and Elliot set up a surround-sound speaker system and put a flat-screen TV on the wall opposite his bed so he can have his chromecast on at night if he’s feeling antsy and wants calming pictures or soothing music. They basically spoil him and Virgil is hecking embarrassed but delighted. His room goes from being just a place to sleep to being an absolute sanctuary.

what kind of media (music, shows, movies, anything!) is virgil into? does he ever feel comfortable sharing them with patton? cuz that's something that i still struggle with doing with my family even as an adult - i think that could be a big "i trust you" moment if virgil was willing to share some of what he liked with patton, esp if it was alternative or niche :)

Virgil tends to like emo stuff, but also heavier stuff, and yeah, he pretty much assumes Patton won’t like it. And truthfully Patton doesn’t like some of it (he never really gets into System of a Down or MCR) but he understands it’s catharsis for Virgil and for that reason he makes a real effort to enjoy it with him. “I like it because it makes you happy,” is what he usually tells him, which Virgil finds incredibly sweet. And they actually do find common ground in Evanescence, because Patton thinks “that girl’s singing voice is just so pretty!”

Virgil also has a secret love of musicals, which he shares with Roman too, and Patton loves them because of all the years being best friends with Roman. He introduces Virgil to some of the older ones and Virgil introduces him to the newer ones like Dear Evan Hansen and Hamilton and they can always, always, always jam to Disney tunes together! (Virgil didn’t used to know much Disney, but Roman was quick to rectify that, and there were many Disney Days during Virgil’s illness recovery).

Uhhh avdhshdakls would virgil go to college?

He does eventually! He takes some time off, though. He ended up behind a year in school because of his illness, but even after graduation he decided to take a few gap years before going to college because he and Patton wanted to spend some time together traveling and doing some of the father-son activities Virgil never got to do.

I answered that in an earlier ask so I’ll copy paste that answer here:

As for what Virgil does after high school–he takes a couple years off, and he and Patton travel and just hang out. They do some of the fun father/son stuff that Virgil never got to do as a kid, like going to Disneyland and going camping and fishing, etc. (The funniest part of that is that neither of them are particularly outdoorsy types–Patton grew up in the lap of luxury so ‘roughing it’ in a tent is weird to him, and Virgil is more a city guy–so they both end up quietly enduring the camping trip for about three days until Patton wakes up screaming obscenities because there’s a pack of raccoons trashing their campsite and stealing their stuff and Virgil wakes up and laughs so hard he cries, and Patton yells after the raccoon that’s scampering off with his stainless steel coffee mug, “Fine! TAKE IT!” and they pack up what’s left and drive to the nearest hotel and order pizza and spend the rest of their ‘camping’ trip lounging by the hotel pool.)

After a couple of years, Virgil does decide to go to college (much to Uncle Logan’s delight). He studies a variety of things, but ultimately gets a degree in art (cue happy Uncle Roman), and eventually partners with Patton doing illustrations for a new series of children’s books Patton decides to write. The books center around the foster system and adoption and are aimed at helping kids in the system as well as helping kids outside the system understand it better.

I really want to do something for this verse. Anyone have any questions or lore info they’re interested in?

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