[corporationkills]

bro …love is the reason we’re here. love is our purpose bro

[finnedbard]

howv can evweryone else fall in and out of lovwe so fast? i cant get anyone to fall in lovwe vwith me to begin vwith.

[finnedbard]

please fuck me

come off anon and the magic can begin.

[finnedbard]

today i got a number from an absolute stud and tried to text him. i did the sensible thing and sent a pic of vwhat hes missing. his mother did not like that picture vwery much.

[finnedbard]

ar3nt you rich 3nough 2 b3 a sugar daddy?

oh yeah, i am. nowv taking sugar baby applications.

requirements: must havwe a pulse.

[finnedbard]

note to self: dont ask any older vwoman if shes looking for a sugar baby unless i vwant a slap to the face

[finnedbard]

>be me

>take some pills vwhile at the store

>girl asks me vwhat im taking

>panic and say "happy pills" vwhen really this is just for my erectile dysfunction and i vwas taking it because i could see a hottie dowvn the aisle making the eyes at me

>hand ovwer one vwhen the girls eyes light up and she asks because i think i might get another lay

>go home vwith a raging boner and no lay in towv

[finnedbard]

howv vwas i supposed to knowv that youre not supposed to pour the vwhole thing of detergent into the vwasher

[finnedbard]

question for the mun! i really like this blog, is it ok to ask which characters youd wanna roleplay with/how one would start an rp? thank you!

/ill rp with any character you can throw something in my ask box, comment on a post, @ me and start something, whatever ya wanna do bud

[finnedbard]

you evwer just havwe the strong urge to lay one on someone you just met? dont do it. its not vworth the kick in the globes.

[finnedbard]

i am literally in love with you, you dont understand i am so fucking head over heels i cant breathe

FINALLY someone vwith taste. come off anon so i can svweep you off your feet.

[finnedbard]

dont bug me. im calling up vwrigley to get the record for vworlds biggest dick.

[finnedbard]

vwent to a buffet and got kicked out for asking if my vwaitress vwas on the menu.

[finnedbard]

so, i vwas talking up this guy, right. vwe vwere really hitting it off and he did a COMPLETE 180. started saying stuff like "get your hands off me" and "i dont knowv you."

he vwas just eating out the palm of my hand. i could see our vwedding day all picture perfect, but he had a total change of heart.

[finnedbard]

hows a guy supposed to get any vwhen evweryones so damn picky? im sorry i dont "havwe self respect" or "knowv vwhat personal space is." you cant havwe it all, hot cakes!

[finnedbard]

cant 8ELIEWVE kankri started yelling at me vwhen i complimented his eyes. yeah, he vwas in the middle of another one of his "lectures," but it needed to be said.

[finnedbard]

got banned from not one, not tvwo, but THREE speed dating get togethers for being "inappropriate" and "making people uncomfortable" all because i described our future sex life if vwe vwent out.

bunch of prudes.