Reality Ruined My Life

books and bands [ side blog: beforeyouexitboys]

[pseudophan]

dan and phil reveal the truth (but like actually this time)

[wlw-library]

all women who wear glasses are gay. why are you wearing glasses, huh? to see other women?

[paperspence]

if the unsub isn’t an impotent white male in his mid-thirties is it really a criminal minds episode

[lmaonade]

me: *walking*

my cat: i am going to run in front of you. i am going to sprint in front of you so fast mid step and you are going to punt me into the sun

me: okay sir yes sir 

[podencos]

Lingerie under oversized hoodies

[hashtagloveloses]

this is 2 aesthetics made into one so it’s obviously bisexual culture

[shiphitsthefan]

this is the future bisexuals want

[artemisbare]

We’re going to seduce you as soon as it warms up

[n0tearslefttocry]

Ariana Grande Performing “The Wizard and I”

[itchycoil]

No offense but your friends are your soulmates too and not just people to complain about your romantic relationship to

[hobbyhaver]

first half of venom: terrifying symbiotes want to take over the world. one of the twins from shining is there. elon musk is the villain and he’s gonna destroy humanity. eddie brock is depressed

second half of venom: hey eddie it’s venom. can we go to mcdonalds. I love you 

[preservable]

if you both agree to take a nap instead of going out, it’s a date

[kindlles]

[aww-so-pretty]

When i open my front camera

[sjw-bot]

in retrospect, yikes

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

me, a fucking fool, reading a millionth fic where two characters have to pretend theyre in a relationship for some reason: omg i hope they end up together

[prisonhannibal]

Road work ahead??

Uh yeah, I sure hope it does

[hotvampireadjacent]

if you're waiting for me to take a hint

it won’t work. consider the following: i’m a dumbass

[libellulex]

just straight up tell me

[anxietyproblem]

[lmaonade]

i am a vegetable medley and god is sautéing me on medium high heat