ponyboy experiencing memory problems, absent-mindedness, and nightmares after the deaths of johnny and dallas completely recontextualizes the first part of the book and how ponyboy introduces himself to the reader. he talks superficially about his looks, about his appearance being that of a greaser (and we subsequently read about exactly how this appearance makes him the victim of a violent attack), but he also tries his best to explain the internal part of himself and how he is affected by the grief and trauma of losing his parents so young. he isn't absent-minded because he's self-centered, and he doesn't forget to call for a ride because he doesn't think, and he doesn't fall asleep in the lot because he doesn't care about darry - he's a kid who is deeply affected by the loss of his parents. we meet him as he's coming out of a movie, something that he uses as a form of escapism; not just the violence he experiences at the hands of socs, but also the deeply solitary experience of trauma and grief that he cannot explain to the reader other than to say that he "lones it". the night he falls asleep in the lot with johnny is put into perspective when ponyboy describes how difficult sleep was for him after the deaths of his parents, how alone he feels in the world, and how much he feels understood by johnny. and often it feels like this complexity of his character is reduced down to ponyboy being a self-centered teen when he's really a young kid who is deeply grieving