Oh Heck I just skimmed over my long ass post about 2017 - my goal was to exercise regularly? Guess whomst is currently going to zumba classes twice a week? This bitch.
Building off of that thought, I think an effort was actually made in that area. Halfway through my last semester, I started going to yoga classes at least once a week. I dont remember if I ever went twice a week or not. And then over the summer I tried to go on long bike rides, and I got back into pokego and using the pedometer app on my phone.
Anyway let’s get back to chronological order.
Final semester of college, commence.
Listen. I don’t know. What the fuck happened during this semester. There was so much emotional turmoil that that’s about the only thing I remember about it. Professor Isabel Cata tortured me and 8 other students in our French capstone class for four long months. First of all, the premise of a good chunk of our classwork was simply ridiculous. Read sections of books, come into class, and summarize it, page by page. No literary discussion allowed. Second of all, we were writing a 50 page autobiography, and once a week in class, Cata would give us prompts and we would write, and then share about them in class. Once she asked us to write an obituary for after we died today, and one for after we died 50 years from now. That was kinda sucky, but then a few weeks later she asked us to write about a time we contemplated suicide. Yike! Is this illegal? This feels illegal. She should be fired holy shit. There’s more I could say about her but from those two examples you can probably get a good feel for how class life was with her. To this day I still feel like I should follow up on the terrible review I left for her, and see if any disciplinary action was taken. My guess is no.
Uhh and then I graduated. And moved back to my parents’ house. And spiraled into a very deep depression. I had applied for a program called TAPIF to move to France and teach English, but in April, they had put me on the wait list. That had been my only plan post-graduation, and since I had to wait until June for the final result, it seemed as though I had nothing left. I didn’t want to go to graduate school. I didn’t know what kinds of jobs I’m even qualified to do. On June 1st, I received my acceptance email. I cried so hard, and my dad came home to discover me crying over it. I hadn’t told my parents I applied for something like this. And now I had to tell my mom, but I was afraid of her reaction. In the end, it was fine.
Next, I played the waiting game. TAPIF starts in October. I tried to apply for summer jobs, but nobody ever responded to my applications. I knit a whole goddamn sweater. In June, I began to practice driving again. This time, I meant it. Even if I only practiced on the weekends when my dad was available, I tried to do at least a little bit of driving every week. I also went to Allendale/West Michigan twice to visit friends, so I got some driving practice in that way, too. Finally, in September, my uncle took me to my driving test and I s2g it took like 15 minutes and I’d passed it. /p>
Two weeks after the driving test, I moved to France and started my job. I remember sitting in the train station after my flight, exhausted. I just wanted to go home. But I didn’t, I got on the train and moved to my new town.
I’ve been teaching at two middle schools and one primary school for three months now. For the most part, I’m really enjoying it. It’s a part time job, so the workload is light. At the beginning, it was rough because everyone was just like “here you go, teach these kids!” like ?? excuse me I don’t know how the fuck that works I need Some guidance. Any guidance at all, really. The French haven’t been super great about giving me vital information to survive and work. Now, though, I’m getting used to it and learning new teaching tactics, and learning from experience. In the classes I teach with other teachers, the students are always pretty great and excited to learn. The classes by myself are a little bit rough but I’m learning how to deal with it.
To finish 2018 I took a trip with my new friend to the Netherlands and Germany, and I spent an incredible amount of money but I think it was worth it. There were ups and downs, but overall we had a good time, and I got to see and experience different parts of Dutch and German cultures. My biggest takeaway from this trip is “God dam I don’t speak German at all.”
As for 2019? I’ll finish out the next few months of this job and then move onto the next thing. I could renew for next year if I want, but I’m gonna start January by looking at my other options. Jobs in the States, jobs in Montreal, and also maybe English teaching jobs in other countries. If all else fails, I’ll look into graduate school, I guess.
Even though I'm not using tumblr anymore, I still want to post my end of year posts here. You can read about my 2016 here.
When we last left off, December 2016, I was at my parents house in recovery from surgery of a fractured vertabae. Let's catch up on what's happened since then.
Winter semester 2017 was a fucking haze of tears, loneliness, pain, and frustration. My dad said he didn't think I would actually go back to school for the semester. I tried to take 3 classes and an online class, but I got overwhelmed at the responsibility I had before me in my broken state and decided to go part time. *Shitty roommate voice* What do you even do all day with so few classes?
Well, Erin, miss future physicians assistant, I fucking collapse into bed after getting home from a two hour class because my back hurts so much. I spent the semester going to classes, doing homework, crying, and falling asleep to TAZ every single night. The mess that was Hannah clung to sanity via mcelroy podcasts. My doctor told me I could stop wearing my brace on Feb 14. With it off, I felt so, so fragile.
I started physical therapy with Dale like a month later. Torey was nice enough to drive me to nearly all my appointments. I started feeling better, bit by bit. Then the semester ended, and on the last day, I got sooo fucking drunk. I fuckin deserved it though. It was a sigh of relief.
Summer. Useless fucking lump. I didnt want to get a summer job because I was afraid of stressing my back out from standing at a register for 5+ hours straight. Thanks, America, for making all cashiers stand for no gotdamn reason. I did take a very easy online class though. Had my 21st birthday, dinner with family. Oh, I also took 3 driving lessons but did no more driving outside of that. One day.
Fall & new semester. I had one class that was just so, so stressful. I had planned to apply for a study abroad program for the summer but got overwhelmed and dropped the application. I did a little bit of tutoring but not as much as I had hoped. In November, Torey and I went to Chicago to see MBMBaM live. Finished the semester and now we're here. One semester to go until graduation.
One thing I worked on this year is asking for help. I'm at a point in my life where I know I need to start really becoming independant, but I need to also start recognizing the moments where it's truly okay to ask for a little help. It's hard to find a balance.
Anyway my one 2018 goal is to exercise regularly for the sake of my back. Thats it.
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