Loose Ends [Daniel & Ryan]
Daniel pressed his lips together as Ryan spoke. He wondered if he looked ridiculous right now, coming to complain about the kind of thing that happened every day in the lives of men like them. Probably. Even so, there was a note of sympathy somewhere in Ryanās voice, and he anchored himself to that note, telling himself that maybe his displeasure was valid. Maybe. Just a little.
"IāI donāt know," he admitted, looking into his mug. Was it possible that Colin could get his memory back with time? "Itās only been a few days. I guess th-the doctor could be wrong." Against all odds, he actually laughed, shaking his head. "It would be great if he were wrong."
There was something in Ryanās voice that made him look up, then, his eyebrows drawing together. He hadnāt evenāheād been so busy running around trying to keep Colinās situation in some semblance of order, imploring Francesca for help, and apologizing to people heād wronged that he hadnāt reallyĀ thoughtĀ about it.
Yeah, heād seen Colin get shot, and that didnāt justĀ happen.Ā There had to have been someone on the other side of the gun, someone with their finger on the trigger. Someone had sighted Colin, had aimed, had fired.
Something hot rose up from deep inside of him, smoldering and angry, the kind of fury he had seldom felt beforeābut it was marked by reluctance, too, fear that the thoughts swirling around his head at present might somehow manifest themselves into action.
Should he find out who did it?
"I didnāt," Daniel said after a long moment, "but⦠I could." He met Ryanās eyes. "D-Do you th-think I should?"
"Doctors just guess shit half the time. Doctors and cops, actually." Ryan had never placed much trust in authority figures - they hadn't ever done much for him, and although individual people could be alright (like Sarah Baker), Ryan didn't believe in the system as a whole. Not that the alternatives, even the ones he worked by and in, seemed much better. As far as he was concerned, this was a stepping stone. Or at least he thought. Ryan wasn't sure what would be next for him, or if there would be one anyway.Ā
Ryan watched Daniel again, eyes squinting slightly as if it would help him catch some stray detail and insight into the younger man's thoughts. Ryan had seen many people get hurt before, some even killed. While many were surprisingly not by his own hand, he had still witnessed a fair amount of violence, enough to numb him to the effects. The truth was, though, that he had always kept a distance from others. Ryan had rarely bothered with people - someone dying was the same as someone moving away.
And what would he tell Daniel now? To give it up would probably be the safe option. No one ever lived happy, prosperous lives by delving into gang business. Ryan knew that. Ryan knew Daniel knew that - but the older man also knew what it was like to finally have enough, to reach your breaking point and absolutely have to do something about it. Was this Daniel's?
"You should do whatever you can live with at the end of the day," he replied slowly, looking up to meet Daniel's gaze and nod slowly. "If getting...I don't know, if getting revenge for Colin is what you need to do, then do it. If you can't live with yourself not doing it, then do it. But you gotta make sure that you're behind it one-hundred-fucking-percent."
And what did Ryan care about enough to do something about? He wasn't sure he could answer that, and as he realized that, his lips turned downwards and he drummed his fingers on the table.











