Customer: Can I get one large comet goldfish?
Me: Sure, what are you feeding?
Customer: Oh I'm not feeding anything, I'm going to keep it in a little 1 gallon tank. I have another one in there already, but his friend died.
Me: Well, actually, I can't sell it to you if you're going to keep it in a tank that small. These goldfish get very large and produce too much waste to keep in something smaller than a 55 gallon tank or a pond.
Customer: Actually, goldfish only grow to the size of the tank. And I have a filter.
Me: That's actually a myth. We have a goldfish that came out of that tank in the large tank over here.
Customer: Well I have a filter so he'll be fine. Can you just get me the goldfish?
Me: As I said before I can't sell you the goldfish if you aren't going to keep it in an appropriate habitat. A one gallon tank isn't large enough to hold a nitrogen cycle and your filter can't remove the ammonia your fish are producing.
Customer: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WILL SELL THESE FISH FOR FOOD BUT WHEN SOMEONE ACTUALLY WANTS TO CARE FOR THEM YOU WON'T EVEN GIVE THEM A CHANCE
Me: Ma'am. These fish are bred to be used as feeders. That said, I am happy to sell them to someone who will care for them and provide them a long and happy life, which by the way, can be up to 40 years. This is the circle of life. Selling this fish to you to be kept in a 1 gallon tank with another goldfish where it will most certainly die choking on its own waste.
My Manager: Is everything okay?
Customer: Your idiotic and misinformed employee refuses to sell me a goldfish. I suggest you get rid of her and find someone who actually knows what they're talking about.
My Manager: Well, I can garauntee that "my employee" has given you accurate information and is acting in the best interests of the goldfish, as is her job. She is also the manager of this department and has the right to refuse the sale of any animal of she believes the customer is unable or unwilling to provide proper care. Have a nice day.
I'm sure she's called corporate by now.
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