fishjoints

yumeshit

[evilselfship]

[scaryselfship]

imagine your f/o being so yucky ewwww yucky yuck ewwww

[scaryselfship]

Imagine pushing ur f/o down the stairs and they hit their head and get a massive bump and look rly ugly and u refuse to kiss them until its healed

[scaryselfship]

Imagine ur f/o getting really excited when they hear an ice cream truck and running out into the street and getting hit by a car and leaving a red smear on the pavement

[scaryselfship]

leaving your f/o on read

[scaryselfship]

f/o having a breakdown after you ask what if my name was Naked Grandma after an entire day of stupid fucking questions

[scaryselfship]

going to a berry picking patch with them but they keep picking like dirt and poop and barbed wire and stuff and you find nothing so the both of you starve to death there

[scaryselfship]

f/o looks through your sketchbook but you hate it when people look at uour drawings and you get so mad that you have to kill them until they die

[scaryselfship]

Trying to help f/o dye their hair and fucking it up so bad u just shave it all off

[scaryselfship]

making a completely fabricated and untrue "am i the asshole" post on reddit about your f/o with their full name and address and doxxing them

[scaryselfship]

replacing your f/os shirts with ones that look the same but are one size too small but they’re too stupid to notice so you beat the shit out of their ankles instead

[scaryselfship]

imagine your f/o not washing their ass in the shower so you spray a cloud of spray-on deodorant in their face until they can’t breathe

[scaryselfship]

bringing rotten tomatoes to your f/o's public speech just in case

[scaryselfship]

f/o starts talking about looksmaxxing and clavicular completely unironically and you have to talk them out of “bonesmashing”

[scaryselfship]

introducing f/o to your friends parents and loved ones and the moment they see f/o they all start laughing uncontrollably and pointing their fingers and making fun of them until f/o can't take it any more and runs away and never comes back

‎

[scaryselfship]

imagine dumping a bucket of centipedes on your f/o as they sleep and recording them waking up and screaming and refusing to help

[scaryselfship]

imagine saying something funny and your f/o tries to wittily add on to it and you get so mad and black out and kill them