This⊠âcould mean nothingâ? Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your tags, and you type⊠I donât know, #DOOMED BOSTON YAOI on that one article about Ben Affleck showing up ringless at Matt Damonâs house, for instance, because youâre trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about their cultural impact and shared filmography, but what you donât know is that that post is not just about âdoomed Boston yaoiâ, itâs not about J-Lo, itâs not even about Good Will Hunting; itâs about the extent to which they have purposely and publicly entwined themselvesâ not just in life but as a PR strategyâ ever since the calculated awards narrative of the 1998 Oscar race. Perhaps even earlier. You think itâs a coincedence that they make sure to talk about each other in every interview theyâve ever done. What am I saying? Youâve never seen The Last Duel. You havenât even seen Dogma. Youâre also blithely unaware of the fact that, after the 2010s, when Matt was dithering in between franchises, and Ben was being widely mocked as Batman, I think it was Artists Equity, wasnât it?⊠where they leveraged their public partnership to collaborate as film producers and bolster one anotherâs images. Hmm.. I think we need a feel-good sports biopic here. Perhaps some clever Dunkin ads? And then Matt and Ben posting quickly showed up in the posts of eight different popular bloggers. Then it filtered down through the reblogs of thousands of plebeian Tumblr users who proudly watch a single movie per year in the cinema, and then through viral tweets and TikToks from normies in your area⊠and then trickled on down into some tragic casual corner of the internet where you, no doubt, fished it out of the bottom of your likes. However, that article represents millions of posts about countless incidents of publicly expressed affectionâ real affection, of course, but also the fuel of a carefully crafted public image strategy (the dichotomy of which only increases the entertaining tension and romance of their relationship), and itâs sort of comical how you think that youâve made a choice that exempts you from sincerely caring about Matt Damon and Ben Affleck when, in fact, youâre reblogging a post that was selected for you by the people in this room⊠from a pile of what âcould mean nothing.â
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