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I N T I M E S O F S A D N E S S
a blog post, click here to read more
M Y N E I G H B O R T O T O R O
9/10 star, a movie review
click to read more
B E T H A N K F U L
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“You get depressed because you know that you’re not what you should be.”
Marilyn Manson (via bonlver)
I don’t necessarily work ‘better under pressure’, I just literally will not work until I am under the extreme pressure of time constraints created by my own unnecessary procrastination
Cats & Food
Two of the best things in the world combined.
Photos by naomiuno
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TOWARDS SELF DEVELOPMENT: #1 SUBMIT A BLOG POST
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Battle of Surabaya: A Beautiful Mess, but a Mess Nonetheless.
Rating: 4/10. One thing to note: if you are looking for beautiful sceneries, this is absolutely it! The colors and harmony of the background is just absolutely breathtaking. Disney should hire those who create the inanimate and/or nonhuman objects in the movie. Gold star for you, background creators (or whatever you are called- I didn't mean to offend), you are the only good thing about the movie. Because the plot is sadly lacking. You see, I'm a plot kind of girl. Heard they're trying with unique, nonstandard story telling in Battle of Surabaya- well, substandard is probably more appropriate. Hey, don't get me wrong, I enjoy nonlinear flow (Christopher Nolan, bow to the king) but BoS definitely failed at that. What are you trying to do, man? Are you trying to tell history, fiction, or what? What are you focusing on, the battle of Surabaya (which only appeared for 5 minutes, gosh, what a misleading title), Musa sending letters, or what? What are you trying to do, by flashing backs and having sappy bollywood moment (bollywood is a ok, btw, it probably has more focus than BoS) and all those comedy-attempt things inserted just when I think you're about to carry on with the plot? There's no rapport building because of that. I'm so confused. I had half the mind to take my little sister to watch the movie, but meh, pretty sure she won't get it and probably ask something like, wait so Battle of Surabaya is about?? Naruto? Uchiha clan in Indonesia? (I'm still angry about the title, gosh.) So, screenplay left nothing to be desired of. At least Fantastic 4 doesn't jump scenes here and there and actually has a red thread between scenes (hated the movie though. BoS has the excuse of being amateur, but they don't. It was so bad I could only laugh when it ended). But dude. BoS has the potential to be great! Look, look, if you change the title, perhaps. Then you can, like, focus on Musa delivering letters and how he faced all of these hurdles to deliver the letters in the midst of war (and not have him play in the middle of the job, like, what, is this serious business or?) in Janji Joni style, maybe. Then there's the back story of why Musa is chosen- because I'm sure as hell I won't choose an easily distracted, stupid kid as a messenger. Gosh. Heard there was a heated discussion somewhere about how this is an indonesian movie, and thus, we have to support it by not criticizing it. Well. I'm a good supporter by buying a ticket, and not torrenting it somewhere. I paid my money- I have the right to enjoy or not enjoy the movie. Imagine you're in a restaurant and the food has too much salt- you'd complain, right? Because you paid for it. That's what I'm doing. I can't make a movie either, but I have eyes and brains and I want my country to have a quality movie in the future- the kind who will proudly compete with Disney for its plot, cinematography, and its quality and not for where it's made. What I'm saying is that it will get better. Indonesian movies will get better by receiving criticism with a clear head and big heart.
A September’s Journey
(sumber foto: http://www.e-architect.co.uk/london/lamda-building)
Angin September mengusap wajah Lea dengan jemarinya yang dingin dan lembab—musim gugur akan segera datang. Lea memeluk dirinya sendiri. Kedua telapak tangan ditaruhnya di bawah ketiak supaya hangat. Jaket penahan angin yang dipakainya berdesis dengan gerakan yang ia buat. Sudah lima tahun ia tinggal di London, tapi Lea masih tidak tahan dengan cuaca London yang terkadang tidak bersahabat. Saat salju turun begitu lebatnya sehingga kuliah diliburkan, Lea sering merindukan Indonesia, cuacanya yang cerah dan suhunya yang hangat.
Dari arah yang sama mahasiswa London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art berjalan menuju Stasiun Barons Court untuk pulang ke flatnya masing-masing atau bersenang-senang: London Design Festival telah dimulai di Victoria and Albert Museum, yang jauhnya hanya tiga perhentian dari Barons Court.
Sebenarnya Lea diajak oleh teman-temannya untuk mengujungi V&A—sebutan akrab mahasiswa LAMDA untuk Victoria and Albert Museum—tapi Lea ingin menjauhi keramaian dahulu sore itu. Baru beberapa jam yang lalu salah satu dosennya menawarkan sebuah peran pada pertunjukan teater musikal di West End.
Peran itu memang kecil—Lea hanya berakting sebagai salah satu gadis paduan suara yang ikut menari dan bernyanyi bersama narator. The Mystery of Edwin Drood bahkan bukan pertunjukan teater klasik a la West End.
(sumber foto: http://www.saferwestend.com/)
Tapi sudah menjadi cita-cita Lea untuk berakting di West End sejak ia kecil. Ibu Lea adalah orang London asli, dengan aksen Cockney-nya yang kental, payung yang selalu siap di dalam tas, dan kebiasaannya untuk minum teh sepanjang waktu: bangun tidur, teman mengudap biskuit, saat menonton TV, sore hari.. serta permintaannya untuk terbang ke London dari Indonesia pada setiap hari ulang tahunnya, hanya untuk menonton teater West End. Lea turut jatuh hati dengan dunia drama teatrikal. Hiruk pikuk West End, lampu yang gemerlapan, dan laga aktor dari atas panggung menjadi sesuatu yang selalu Lea idamkan.
Lea sangat ingin menerima peran West End itu, tetapi ia telah memenangkan audisi salah satu pertunjukan LAMDA, yang jadwalnya sama dengan Drood. Pada teater LAMDA tersebut Lea akan bermain sebagai Ophelia, karakter utama sandiwara Hamlet, yang ditulis oleh Shakespeare. Lea tidak tahu apa yang harus ia lakukan—pada satu sisi, ia tidak dapat melepaskan kesempatan untuk unjuk gigi sebagai peran utama, namun pada sisi lain, West End adalah sesuatu yang dapat ditinggalkan begitu saja. Sama bergengsinya dengan Broadway, West End menawarkan jaringan profesional yang akan berguna nantinya.
Karena itu Lea berjalan sendiri bagaikan robot sepanjang peron Barons Court, menunggu tube—metro yang akan membawanya menuju kawasan London Bridge. Lea ingin merenung, menyusuri Sungai Thames sambil berpikir. Ia berharap udara di tepi Sungai Thames akan membuat kepalanya ikut dingin.
Metro yang ditunggu pun datang. Berdesak-desakan, Lea melangkah masuk dan merayap di antara keramaian ke arah tengah gerbong. Tasnya ia peluk di perutnya. Di sampingnya seorang remaja bergelayut pada tiang, mengangguk-angguk mendengarkan musik yang tidak dapat Lea dengar.
Gerbong mulai bergerak. Tidak ada pemandangan yang dapat Lea lihat di luar, jadi ia menutup matanya. Ia membukanya kembali ketika metro yang ia naiki berhenti di Stasiun Green Park, dan ia harus transit.
Dinding kuning dan oranye berbentuk tabung menyapa Lea ketika ia turun. Lea tidak terburu-buru, namun ia setengah berlari. Semenit kemudian ia telah mencapai peron yang harus Lea ambil untuk menuju London Bridge. Perjalanan kali ini lebih singkat. Empat perhentian kemudian Lea turun dari gerbong yang ia naiki.
Lea hanya perlu berjalan sedikit ke selatan untuk keluar dari stasiun bawah tanah tersebut. Di mulut stasiun Lea mampir untuk membeli kopi dan donat Krispy Kreme, baru kemudian ia melanjutkan perjalanannya.
Pada sebuah persimpangan jalan Lea berbelok ke Jalan Joiner. Ia diberhentikan oleh sepasang turis tua yang menanyakan arah ke London Bridge.
(sumber foto: http://bluesea-gaming.com/)
“Aku sedang menuju ke sana,” Lea menjawab. “Mari kita berjalan bersama!”
Pasangan tua itu berterimakasih. Mereka bercerita bahwa mereka berasal dari Irlandia.
“Apabila cucuku tidak berulangtahun maka aku tidak akan mau pergi ke London,” sang nenek, Judy, berkata. “Aku tidak habis pikir kenapa anakku mau menikah dengan orang Inggris.”
Lea tertawa mendengarnya.
“Nah, itu senyum yang aku tunggu-tunggu dari tadi,” ujar si kakek. “Dari tadi kau terlihat murung.”
“Tidak apa-apa kok,” Lea berkata. “Aku hanya... bingung. Ketika kau mendapatkan tawaran untuk berakting pada dua tempat berbeda pada saat yang sama, apa yang akan kau lakukan? Aku berhasil mendapatkan peran utama untuk teater kampusku, tetapi aku mendapat penawaran untuk menjadi figuran di West End.”
Pasangan itu terdiam, sebelum sang nenek menjawab, “Aku tidak tahu banyak soal teater, tapi aku dulu bernyanyi opera. Aku pernah mengalami hal yang sama—apakah kamu tahu apa yang aku lakukan?”
“Apa, Judy?”
“Aku mendengarkan kreativitasku,” kata Judy. “Creativity is art. Creativity is great. Creativity is your heart—kreativitas adalah seni, kreativitas itu hebat, kreativitas adalah hatimu. Ketika engkau tahu apa yang kreativitasmu katakan, maka engkau akan menemukan bahwa jawaban itu ada di pelupuk matamu selama ini.”
Mendengarkan kata-kata itu, Lea terhenyak. Ia tidak pernah mencoba mendengarkan kreativitasnya—kreativitas adalah hal yang sangat bersifat konseptual; Lea tidak pernah menganggapnya sebagai seorang teman.
Tiba-tiba semuanya menjadi jelas. London Bridge terlihat dari kejauhan, bersinar keemasan dengan lampu-lampu jalan. Lea tersenyum lebar-lebar.
“Judy—sepertinya aku telah menemukan jawabanku.”
--
Karakter favorit: Jon Snow.
Meskipun ia dikucilkan ibu angkatnya dan tidak dianggap sebagai bagian dari keluarga Stark, Jon Snow tetap setia dan ramah pada saudara-saudaranya. Jon Snow memiliki karakter yang sulit untuk ditebak—ia bukan tipikal pemeran utama klasik yang selalu melakukan hal yang benar. Terkadang ia membuat kesalahan, dan ia belajar dari kesalahan tersebut.
What you SHOULD say to people dealing with any of these
Anxiety: This too shall pass, even if that sounds corny and cliche. Your anxiety will subside, you are not dying, you will not die from this, everything is going to be fine. Keep taking deep breaths, try and stay focused.
Depression: You are valid and your emotions are valid. You are a good, strong person, even if you don't feel like you are right now. Things DO get better, and I know you can get through this.
Sexual Orientation: Your body, your life, your bedroom. You choose what you do with it, and I get no say in the matter, because I am not you. I'll respect you no matter what.
Bipolar: The sun also rises. For all your bad days, weeks, or longer-- you also have good ones just beyond the horizon. You know better than anyone what it means to finally hit those "highs" in your life, and I hope that you just keep growing and strengthening yourself through your treatment to extend those happy moments.
Self harm: This is your body and I'll never pass judgement over you for the things you choose to do with it. However, you should really consider speaking with a counselor about this. Not because you're "bad", but because I just want you to be safe.
Eating disorders: It's okay to eat, you have permission. Eating will not make you fat, ugly, or worthless. Eating will make you strong, healthy, and lively. You deserve to eat, you deserve happiness.
Abuse: What they did was wrong, and you had no consenting part in it. You have no need to feel guilty or shamed, although I understand that may be exactly how you are feeling right now. They're the ones at fault here, and the ball is entirely in your court if you choose to report them for that, which you are rightfully entitled to do.
Suicide: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are valuable and your existence is valuable. There are billions of people on this planet, and even if you think everyone hates you and no one cares, they do and they will. You can find so many friends and loved ones if you just allow yourself the time to look for them. The world turns out to be a beautiful place and you deserve to be alive to see that.
Sexual assault: What they did was vile and disgusting. Yes, you're now left with this horrible, traumatic event to move on from, but your life is not entirely lost. Recovery is possible, and an unfortunately large number of people have to go through that-- but they make it to the other side. So can you, you can do this. You're not dirty, you're not a "slut" or a "whore", you are a human being whose rights were violated. But you are strong, and I know you can move past this in due time.
Multiple Personality Disorder: I'll always love you no matter who you are. I only hope the absolute best for you during your recovery and treatment, and maybe one day I'll be so privileged as to love you as one whole.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: The pain of suddenly reliving horrific events is almost unimaginable for me. Please try and remember that although it feels like it's real and it's happening right now, that it's not. You are okay, you are fine, and you are safe. You are in the present here and now, and that past can't manifest itself again to come and physically hurt you. Everything is just fine, these feelings will pass and you're going to be okay.
Schizophrenia: I am real and I can promise you that. I care. Try and find something grounding for you, an object that you can cling to to help you distinguish between whether or not you're hallucinating. You are not a freak, you are not a monster. You're a human being with rights and emotions who happens to be ill right now.
I saw the what "not" to say post and had to make my own variant of that. I lava you
hi! so i recently reached 1k followers and i’m super happy about it! to celebrate, i though i would make a few masterposts for y’all. I might make a tumblr-related one later, too. anyways, i hope you like this one, and all of the links open in new tabs!
colour
the psychology of color
how to mix skin tones
color harmony
a ton of colour palettes
how to contour/highlight
colour meanings
how to colour
how to draw…
how to draw hoods
how to draw boobs in shirts
how to draw hair
how to draw faces
another face tutorial
how to draw hands
how to draw mouths
how to draw expressions
more expressions
cargsdoodle’s body tutorial
how to draw arms
how to avoid same facing
how to draw clothing folds
references
drawing references
hairstyle references
eye references
a ton of clothing references
ear references
kneeling/sitting references
kissing references
downloads
adobe creative suite 2 free download
sai brush downloads
sai brushes
alternative to photoshop
photoshop for free
mypaint drawing program
a ton of free art programs
other
pixel art: a beginner’s guide
an AWESOME tutorial masterpost
my art tag
glitch effect tutorial
Thing is: I hate myself, a lot.
I just do. I don't want to be me. I wish for a lot of things, which never happen to me. Things rarely go my way.
I am tired. I want to do something violent. I am not satisfied with myself. If I were a rock, I would step on it several times and throw it to the sea.
I wish the world to stop.