I'm ready..
I weighed myself this morning and the scale read 150 lbs.. this is the most I’ve ever weighed in my life. I feel heavier but I haven’t noticed any huge difference in my appearance which is good. I’m only 5 five pounds more than what I usually weigh, but still I’d never thought I’d actually let myself get to this point. I’m not happy with my weight or my appearance really, I’m about 5'3 and it’s not like I’m huge or anything, and I have an hour glass figure but I’m overweight and I have chubby cheeks and I don’t like my thighs. I have acne that I’ve been trying to get rid of since I believe before middle school and I’m just so done, I can’t cover it up with makeup and when I try it just looks and bumpy (which stinks because I love to do my make up) and it honestly makes me discouraged. I know I don’t have to live like this and I’m choosing to longer do so, my change starts today! I’ve been trying to eat right and workout literally over the past 3 months and either I would eat bad or not feel like exercising and here I am the same and it’s no fun. It’s very easy to get discouraged when you don’t see results right away, or to get tempted especially when sweets are so accessible, but no I realize now it’s not worth it! I saw this post yesterday that said, “I’m working my butt off this month for next months body” which is so true, you just have to keep at it EVERYDAY and results will come!! Also, I saw this video where a lady was talking about how to lose weight and she said you don’t have to do any specific diet, just as long as you consistently eat better and eat 500-1000 calories under your normal calorie intake and exercise everyday you will see results! And I’m ready for change! There are too many things I want and want to do that I feel I can’t being the way I am right now. My self esteem and confidence are honestly not very high, as I’ve said before I’m not huge or anything but I’m not where I want to be and I’m not happy. However, although I say I’m not happy it’s not like I’m depressed or anything, I still enjoy life and am a happy girl, but like I said I don’t like where I am right now. I’ve heard time and time again you can’t expect results if you don’t put in work, and I’ve seen that time and time again as I’ve stopped working out and eating right and I can’t do that anymore. I’m making a fitness and eating plan to guide me and help me stay on track, my end goal weight right now is 110 pounds but that may change because I know that is pretty small but we’ll see and I’ll make “mile markers” also as I start losing weight and getting in shape. I’m doing this for myself and no one else, I want to be happy and confident and I have the ability to do that so I need to take advantage of this opportunity. I’m so over thinking “one day I’ll get there” and “if only I looked like that” because I can get there and I can look like that and once I do I know I’ll be so happy I did. Last summer I lost 10 pounds and know I felt amazing about myself, unfortunately I gained it all back after about a month but I remember how good I felt and that definitely motivates me today to get back and lose it again and some more. I know it’s gonna be hard at first but honestly I’m ready to see change, and I’ve done my research so I know what I need to do. This is goodbye to feeling bad about myself and feeling like I could never do this or wear that or whatever I’m done and this is FORREAL this time! New me, HERE I COME!!
