The Ice Cream Truck @fiveloveshisfamily - Tumblr Blog

Allison: what are all these dead bodies doing here?

Five: Honestly? Not much.

#i think this could work with about everyone and i couldn't tell who to choose #so i just chose Allison and Five #five hargreeves #allison hargreeves #source: tumblr #incorrect umbrella academy quotes #look whos posting again?#after like 80 years

Vanya: *sneezes*

Five, at the top of the stairs: Bless you

Vanya: God?

#the dynamic duo #i love them #vanya is gay #but its ok because im gay too #big mega oof #i dont think anyone in the Hargreaves household believes in god anymore #vanya hargreeves #five hargreeves #incorrect umbrella academy quotes #incorrect quotes

Diego, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Klaus: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*

Klaus: it's perfume

#god i love John Mulaney #fuck me gently with a chainsaw #source: John Mulaney #klaus is a disaster #please help him #klaus hargreeves #diego doesnt help klaus's case he just makes it worse #diego hargreeves #incorrect umbrella academy quotes #inccorect quotes

Klaus: Hey babe, we should-

Dave: No offense love, but before you finish that sentence I want you to think about it carefully because you conjure up some of the most horrible ideas

Klaus: *huffs* There are no such thing as "horrible ideas" Dave, just excellent ideas that may not turn out as planned...

#dave and klaus are a disaster couple #klaus is always getting into trouble #big mega oof #love my son and son-in-law #true love #dave katz #klaus hargreeves #klaus katz #incorrect umbrella academy quotes #incorrect quotes

Klaus: *Signs legal documents with a glitter gel pen*

#klaus is my son #disaster pan Klaus #pan with no plan #klaus hargreeves #love my boy #klaus katz #incorrect umbrella academy quotes #incorect quote

Klaus: H-

Dave: Klaus, the light of my life, the moon to my sun, the love of my life, what the FUCK did you get yourself into this time?

#dave and klaus are a disaster couple #klaus is always getting into trouble #dave katz #klaus hargreeves #klaus katz #oop #big mega oof #incorrect umbrella academy quotes #incorect quote

Dave: I have an urge to do something stupid.

Klaus: I’m stupid, do me.

Dave:

Klaus:

Dave:

Klaus: Did I say that out loud?

#klaus is thirsty #but isnt he always #dave be like kay #dave is a top and klaus is a power bottom #sorry i dont make the rules #dave and klaus are a disaster couple #dave katz #klaus hargreeves #klaus katz #incorrect umbrella academy quotes #incorect quote

Fandom: There's only one thing worse than dying...

Fandom: *ripping back a paper revealing ”Klaus dying”*

Klaus: *gasps* Me

Fandom: No-

#you know its true #ben in the fandom too #you know the only sibling that really loves Klaus is Ben and maybe Vanya #fandom #klaus hargreeves #we stan gods #incorrect umbrella academy quotes #incorrect quotes

Klaus: I call my dick reality.

Klaus: Bitches can't handle reality.

Vanya: Reality is often disappointing

Five: Police? I'd like to report a homicide.

#poor klaus #oop #To quote Romeo and Juliet ”You are a saucy boy.”#five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #incorrect umbrella academy quotes

Deigo: Would you date a girl that’s shorter than you?

Klaus: No.

Diego: That's kinda shallow.

Klaus: I'm Gay, Deigo.

#i like the idea that klaus is pan but like idk how else would fit this #klaus hargreeves #deigo hargreeves #disaster brothers #incorrect umbrella academy quotes #incorect quote #source: tumblr

Klaus: You know, I was in a car this morning, and a school bus stopped, and I had this feeling like, “Oh, that’s the school bus. Ugh.” Then I thought, “Hey, I don’t have to go to school. I’m an adult.” And I flipped off the school bus!

Ben: WHY?

Klaus: BECAUSE IM AN ADULT!

#yes i know klaua cant drive but just use your imagination #HE ALSO DROVE THE ICE CREAM TRUCK SO HES OK #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #thank you for coming to my ted talk #love them #source: tumblr

Vanya: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cosy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you’re going to die.

Diego: My favourite is “butt dial” vs “booty call”.

Allison: It's called connotation

Klaus: Also, “forgive me father, for I have sinned,” vs “sorry daddy, I’ve been naughty”.

Five: Great news! Language is now cancelled.