Fuck yes!!

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Fuck yes!!
Hi, I was hoping you could help me. A bit ago I met up with consensualpredator3rd and unfortunately I didn't have a great time. I regret meeting him for several reasons but the big ones are 1) He got to the hotel and started the scene immediately without saying anything or verifying he was who he said he was. We never talked about how the scene would start and he grabbed my neck right after walking in the door and started smacking me. 2) He popped my jaw smacking me 3) I shut down and just went along with it and he didn't do a consent check in and make sure I was still good. 4) His safeword system was inconsistent and he got really pissed when I called red to the point where I wanted to leave but I was scared to do so. 5) He got mad when I asked him to delete my pictures because I just didn't want him to have them anymore and he never gave proof of deleting them.
Maybe I'm the only one who had a bad experience with him, but I talked to someone and he said that these were all red flags. All I want is for no one else to get hurt like I did.
May 14, 2021: Friday Morning
Good Morning Anon.
I’m very sorry for your experience, and we appreciate you sharing it with us today. From the final statement in your ask, I can tell that you are shopping around this encounter to get feedback from people so you can get a better understanding of what has happened to you. I’m happy to tell you what I think, based on what you’ve expressed.
1. He got to the hotel and started the scene immediately...
Consent based encounters start with discussion and negotiation. Unless it was agreed upon before hand that the scene would start upon your entrance, (which you say it was not) it’s a fucked up way to start a scene with someone new, and was your first huge red flag of your experience. 🚩
2. started the scene immediately without saying anything or verifying he was who he said he was.
How completely terrifying. There is no way a consent based experience should start this way. Once again, unless this was agreed upon, this is neither dominant or human behavior. Second huge red flag. 🚩🚩
3. and he grabbed my neck right after walking in the door and started smacking me.
No. Without introducing himself? Upon entering? Undiscussed and unnegotiated? Completely fucked up. Red Flag. 🚩🚩🚩
4. He popped my jaw smacking me
So you walked in and he just started whaling on you, and hard enough that he popped your jaw. I'm going to guess there was no check in there, as there seems to be no concern for your comfort or safety anywhere in the encounter you are describing, so another red flag. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
5. I shut down and just went along with it and he didn't do a consent check in and make sure I was still good.
I understand your response as someone who was actively being abused. Considering the activities you're describing, it's inexcusable that you wouldn't be checked in with many times throughout the encounter, especially as someone new to him. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
6. His safeword system was inconsistent and he got really pissed when I called red to the point where I wanted to leave but I was scared to do so.
An inconsistent safe word system = no safe word system. A safe word is something that must be reacted to strongly and immediately every time it's uttered. There can be no inconsistency in consent based encounters. Anger in response to a safe word being implemented is not dominant behavior. People who get angry at safe words tend to be abusers, misogynists, and/or narcissists. An inconsistent safe word system is a huge red flag. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
7. He got mad when I asked him to delete my pictures because I just didn't want him to have them anymore and he never gave proof of deleting them.
When you give someone pictures of yourself you are doing that with consent. You should be able to revoke consent and ask them to delete them without any push back or drama. Anyone who acts pissy or won't give you the peace of mind of knowing you did what they asked you to do is not a dominant. Definite red flag behavior. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Here are some final thoughts:
* If you uttered your safeword and it didn't stop the scene, you were raped.
* A dominant will make you feel safe in a scene, even when it's an intense or CNC scene. Having an intense BDSM scene is about creating the illusion of fear and danger, not about actually putting you in a state of fear and danger.
* A dominant will have a rock solid view of consent and will be very concerned about that being reflected in every scene they have with you.
* Again, what you describe is a terrifying and traumatizing scene full of red flags and consent violations. I hope you learn and heal from it, and I hope some of what I said helps you to recover from it.
JD
Someone sent me this, and at first I thought it was one of my many haters bleeding out beyond just sending me hate mail and making up fake shit.
However, the more I went over it trying to figure out if there was someone who matched up with the unusual details, I think I know who this person is (90% sure) and if it was them, we did meet so I should address this.
First of all, it saddens me any time someone doesn’t enjoy meeting with me, it’s rare but when you play with dozens of dozens like I have it happens occasionally.
However, this person is being disingenuous by omission and leaving out context.
This person contacted me asking me to take their virginity. We made plans for her to stop and get a room on her way down to college.
Their jaw was popped because they had a previous medical condition and it was prone to do so. They did not share this information with me until after it had happened. Any medical or psychological issues that may come up in a scene always need to be disclosed in advance for exactly this reason.
I’m a consensual non consent player. It is extreme edge play. I am known and sought out for my intensity and aggression. It’s well advertised, and present in many write ups done by people who have done scenes with me. I’m not a daddy dom. She knew all of this.
I texted her from the parking lot as soon as I arrived. I made at least two trips back to my car before we started. I’m not sure how she can construe this as not introducing myself.
I’m also not sure how my safeword system was “inconsistent” but it is true I didn’t use the check in part. I didn’t need to, she stopped the scene extremely frequently. You’ll notice she never claims I did not stop when she called “red”, because I did. Every time, and it was a lot of times. Pretty much every hit and even basic vanilla sex was too much for her.
In my opinion, this person wasn’t physically, mentally, or emotionally ready to have sex. Especially BDSM of any type. I definitely wasn’t the right choice for her, being on the more extreme end of the scale for that type of play.
It was her room, and she could have asked me to leave at any time. I actually offered to leave, once it was clear she couldn’t handle it. She asked me to stay.
We cut the scene short, and she talked to me about her mother, sister, and father. I listened and gave support. I often end up in a makeshift psychologist role, and I feel it’s my duty to provide that aspect of aftercare when people need it.
We went out to pick up calzones, came back to eat and watch Sherlock. We spent upwards of four hours of me listening to her problems and feelings.
And I’m glad. She needed that.
There were lots of opportunities for her to have me leave. She asked me to stay. We sat in her car the next morning after checkout, I don’t remember if we went to breakfast.
I’m not out to invalidate someone’s experience, but I don’t feel I’m being represented fairly in her account. Her jaw being predisposed to popping, insinuating (but stopping short of claiming) that I didn’t respond to safewords, not mentioning that we stopped the scene or any of the aftercare (especially when she got the gold star therapy version) leaves a lot of context out and doesn’t give a complete understanding of the experience.
I always respond to safewords, and I responded and stopped every time she called it.
Any self proclaimed ‘intense’ Dom who plays on the ‘extreme end of the scale’ who not only arranges to meet up with a random virgin who contacted them on tumblr but then proceeds to play with them on their very first time meeting without proper talks is a fucking predator.
You had fuck all care about that girls well being from the get go. There should have been no frequent stops in the scene because she called RED. YOU as the apparent experienced one, YOU as the one in fucking charge should have ended that shit well before it could be frequent. It’s clear as day from your own account in your own damn words that it was obvious she was in over her head.
I can’t actually believe the amount of egotistical self back patting in your response when you’re telling on yourself THAT much.
Isn't it an experienced Dom(me)'s priority to make sure that their submissive is mentally/physically/emotionally ready to engage in such an intense scene long before they are in any position to actually do so?
From what I've read and seen people like @onelittlekingdom & @instructor144 say that kind of scene is something that needs to be worked up to rather than it being the immediate first experience.
Yep. First principle: no playtime at the first meeting. PG-13 and PUBLIC. Second principle:even when your partner is experienced, you work up the intensity GRADUALLY, over the course of several get togethers. Any "Dom" who doesn't know and insist on these basic principle isn't worth a bucket of warm spit.
@consensualpredator3rd
I am going let you all read this one part
RED. Called a lot of times.
Here there is nothing that can save your integrity.
If red is called once and then you continue, I am left with the visual that ther was coersion to continue.
DESPICABLE.
The fact that you recognized this " she wasn't ready" should have happened WELL before any scene. That you can discuss that and acknowledge that fact, makes this even worse.
This was a scene that should never have happened, poorly planed, and sorry "take my virginty"
Jesus, what does it take.... nevermind..
This anon and your response, in my community would have you banned from any events, blogs, community, for life.
This was not informed consent, this was coerced consent from the very beginning because you recognized the state of your partner. The blame falls solely upon you.
I would suggest before you continue you step back and truly reevaluate this situation, take time off from kink play. Make sure that you know what happened here and accept what is truly your responsibility and act accordingly.
@anon I am sorry this was your event. Make sure you reach out and get help to process this.
This is horrible on so many levels.
As an “experienced dom,” don’t you think it was on you to ensure she, a virgin, understood what was about to happen? She had NO way of knowing what to expect. First call of red should have ended everything and began the aftercare process immediately. In this case more than any other due to her virginity, it was on you to end the scene and help her process.
A reputation for being rough is no excuse when the person you plan to meet has admitted they have no reference point since they’ve never had an experience.
Consent= informed, enthusiastic and un-coerced agreement. There is no indication of that in your own version of events. This was fucking rape. I hope she presses charges.
I went to his blog to block him and he answered an ask about this situation which is more of the same, he definitely doesn’t ‘get it’. Repeats that he gave this girl a “therapy session” says she had a complete break down, says he often has to do that because he spends so much time with depressed people??? Clearly wants to be seen as altruistic for listening to her. Repeats that he isn’t a daddy dom. Claims this girl wouldn’t have enjoyed being with anyone. Takes no responsibility himself.
If you have the view that you tend to attract “damaged” people - wouldn’t that be a reason to check yourself? Apparently to him its not.
Yeah, I scrolled some on his blog and found where he thinks it’s perfectly fine to pressure others. Red flags all over the place.
Jesus fucking Christ. Reading this thread made me want to puke.
Good lord. Dude’s on the short bus on the expressway to the FBI watch list.
People, if you’re talking to someone and they IN ANY WAY RESEMBLE THE FUCKWIT CALLED OUT ABOVE, that is a big warning sign and you need to protect yourself.
He’s one hell of a predatory narcissist.
This dude is trash.
I know there is someone following my blog who knows him and is mutuals with several of the other folks on this thread who have condemned him.
If you haven't already please stop interacting with him before he goes to far and seriously hurts you.
His reaction to this poor girl proves its only a matter of time before he goes too far with someone.
Wall of shame
I feel like everyone else on this thread has clearly explained why he’s on the wall of shame. His blog is also just full of red flags. There is no excuse for his behaviour, he was clearly able to assess that she was not enjoying the situation.
That is such a horrible first experience and i hope anon is able to seek professional help to help them recover from that trauma 💜
Report the blog:
https://consensualpredator3rd.tumblr.com/
MALE/18+/ATLANTA
Holy fucking shit. I'm so grateful for @edging-switch-slut for signal boosting this. I had just followed this person a couple days ago. I'm fucking out.
If you top for CNC play,
please fucking familiarize yourself with trauma responses
and don't make garbage excuses like this!!!!
Common reactions to trauma include fight, flight, freeze and fawn.
Freezing can include shutting down and pretending everything is fine. Freezing can include doing precisely what your aggressor expects and wants from you. It's a way for your brain and nervous system to protect you from increased aggression.
Fawning can include complimenting, assuring them you like them, asking someone to stay because they seem fucking angry at you, declarations of love, and all sorts of positive seeming behaviour! This is also protective!!!!
CNC plays with trauma. You better fucking be ready for inflicting actual trauma. It's a risk of even the most consensual and careful CNC and this was not that.
Should CNC tops not listen to bottoms because of potential freezing/fawning? Of course the fuck not. But AT MINIMUM when someone says they were not happy you don't trot out "we hung out for 4 more hours and they told me things" as proof that you didn't traumatize this person. You absolutely fucking did and need to take responsibility for that.
CNC tops - please have a plan in place for what you will do if someone ever says this to you, which begins with listening and learning and remorse, because blaming them is NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. A bad response to a story like this compounds trauma. I recommend having friends ready as accountability people to talk through the details with you and be ready to identify where you may have gone wrong.
If anywhere! Maybe you didn't, and then can come at responding with compassion and responsibility. But this guy sure did go wrong!!!
This sounds like The Wolf all over again, fml.
This needs to be reblogged as much as possible.
Anyone who takes any variation of the top/Dom/master title has a responsibility to the safety of their sub. The session should have stopped on the first safeword. The first. Fucking. One. Especially given this poor girl was a virgin??? Losing one's virginity is a special and important moment in any person's life, whether they personally value it as such or not. It is not acceptable to have someone's first time become an exercise in exactly what SHOULDN'T happen during sex of any kind.
To any guys who see this: take note, this is how NOT TO BE A DOM/DADDY/MASTER/TOP. This is the exact opposite of what you should be doing.
The use of a safe word means that you stop, you immediately administer aftercare, and you do not continue. The session/scene is OVER at that point.
Sigh..for such a long time...💋👠💋
I tried to resist reblogging....I just couldn’t.
Thank you @msgerrie
@ The Sissy Bedtime Reader
I live for heels and slipping them on!~
I love my heels collection. Hubby too!
Fuck yes!!
Lets try this.....
For everyone who reblogs this, I will go through your blog and then I will put a detailed description in your ask box of what kind of person I think you are based on YOU and YOUR posts and YOUR blog.
And I do mean EVERYONE. I’ll do them all, promise
Ok I’m in
What kind am I ?
OK what am I
Wow! I can’t wait to find out what kind of person you think I am!!!
I need to know what you think of me
I will try anything more than once
Me too PLEASE
I like to play
Sure why not I’m game!
Let’s give it a shot.
Boom! Do me
Sounds fun
okay lets see
WHY NOT
Do me please
Oh sweet I’m in
Yes please
Go for it. x
Go for it.
Let’s see it
Okay I can take constructive criticism. Open your mind concentrate what makes you feel good and relaxes you and I feel which way that takes you. I see if it feels real or fake at what you fantasize about feels fake your next time just try harder untill you can feel an experience like in real life
Help yourself!
This should be interesting hahaha
Shoot!
Make me hard… please
Take your best shot 😀
I’m game
I’m down. You still doing this
Sounds fun!
Yes yes yes!
I’m dying for her to do it!
Hell yes!!
Cheers 🥃
Yes she does!
How about a few more reblogs today?! Read OUR posts and see what turns us both on!
EVERY person that did a reblog of this has received a PM picture that Tumblr blocks....future reblogs will receive two because Tumblr sucks.
This is very true!!!! I reblogged and got some hot pics!! Do I get three for reblogging again?? 😁😁
where and when
Ummmmm, Fuck YES!!
Reblog if your wife or gf has a free pass to cheat on you whenever she wants, with whoever she wants, however she wants.
Hell yes!!
Fuck yes!
Happy
St. Patrick’s Day!
Hopefully the luck of my Irish heritage will let these next pictures post. 🍀💋🍀
🍀💋🍀💋 ♡Pandora
*please keep as a set when reblogging*
Oh hell yes!!
What is Timbr.me?
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Here comes Timbr.me. We here will try to save as much as possible until the deadline. We start with copying blog content blog-by-blog. We are backing up all blog posts, photos and videos to Google Cloud and making them viewable forever. To save your own and your favorite blogs just enter their names on the main page.
Soon we will add an option to log in with Tumblr account to save your favorite posts and show you the feed of the blogs you follow. And of course we’ll allow blog owners will be able to add content right here on Timbr.me after Tumblr closes its doors.
Yes. And i said please too.