🍮

Hiya! I'm flan! What's your favorite flower?

[flaanon]

🍮 here, I got sick and tired of not being able to respond to reblogs and stuff. And you know what? Tumblr lets you make multiple accounts.

I'm 🍮 or Flan. It/it's or any pronouns, really fine with anything except for being called custard. I'm not a custard! I'm flan! It's not that hard, it doesn't cost you anything to call me what I want to be called (flan)

P R I D E P O S T (open)

IMPORTANT POST BUT I CANT HAVE TWO PINNED POSTS IM SORRY-

Name here! Person behind the flan account. I'm not a minor and having a time so I turn to silly cod-roleplaying. I probably won't talk very often but whatever. Really this is just so I could respond to a re-blog chain instead of having to send in a new ask every time. Flan doesn't exactly have a lot of personality except for trying to be friends and not being able to say names correctly. I don't exactly think this will become popular, but if you want to send in asks you can? Just like, be polite or smth.

[flaanon]

So…You’re the Piece of Flan that Bird (Sparrow) talks about. Huh.

- @shadows-hound

(Hi Flan! This is Just my Shadow Co. OC! - Z)

Wowwie, yeah! That is me!! I am Flan!!! :D

Hiya Mc. Found!! It's real nice to meet you! What's your favorite flower?

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

WAIT MR. DAD SIR!

...you like bugs?

- a very hopeful @flaanon 🍮

Yup. They're cute. Little guys crawling arounnd.

[flaanon]

:0

*spends the next hour showing him different bugs it likes*

[but-a-whisper]

Mr. Whimper!! Hii!!!

Wanna see my pet? Her name is Ms. Caterpillar and she's the cutest most friendliest ever!!

She likes hard-boiled eggs :3

- @flaanon

...hello child. I suppose I can spare a minute to look at your... oppossum?

Where did you get this?

[flaanon]

I dunno :3

*holds this up at Whisper*

She's super cute and nice, right? I love her so much!!! You should give her a hug, it'll make you feel better! You obviously need it :3

[flaanon]

Um. Flan lore?

Tw: child abuse (not in great detail or anything, but the tldr is that it was basically a drug lab rat as a child)

Fawn ██████ was born by mistake. She was small, far too small to be properly healthy, so her parents did the most obvious thing:

Keep her around for a few years before selling her off to some "scientists" in exchange for a pack of smokes.

She grew up as basically a glorified test-mouse, becoming a test subject for whatever drugs they were making that month. The only reason she didn't die was because it was more helpful to keep her alive.

That's also when her brain started to shatter.

Whatever speech she had quickly degraded, names and faces getting jumbled, body and mind both collapsing into a state of pure survival.

That's also about when "Flan" was born.

A defence mechanism. That's what it was. Something to wrap around Fawn before she could get any more hurt.

When the soldiers first found it, it was... A mess. Speaking in third person, going from laughter to sobs in a matter of seconds, constantly afraid and yet also so friendly. And when they tried to send it somewhere else? It fought back.

No one mentioned when they started seeing it running around the base, rummaging through the trash, sleeping in a closet on base and hiding whenever anyone tried to find it.

And that's where our Flan is currently set! It's slowly healed just a bit, barely any, but it no longer speaks in the third person- baby steps?

It has a rocky relationship with Graves, clings to Phoenix like it's dad, and is overly friendly with everyone else.

There's more set in the future, but this has been sitting in my drafts for like- 5 months so let's just send it now :3

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

Oh my goodness! Mr. Dad Phoenix!! Where'd you get that baby from? Is it yours? Did you make it? Is it Mr. Phipip's? I sure hope not, that'd suck for the baby :(

- @flaanon 🍮

He’s not mine, kiddo, no. I’m watching him for Colin so he can take a break for a bit. Do you wanna come say hi? Baby’s only six months old, so he can’t do much talking, but you can look at him.

[flaanon]

Wow! He's very... Squishy?

I'm glad he's not Mr. Phipip's, but Mr. Phones is really nice! I bet he'd be a good dad, just like you :3

*very gently (I mean oh so very gently) pokes at the baby*

Mr. Phoenix, were you also this squishy when you were a baby like Mr. Baby?

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

Mr. Penix! Mr. Phoenix! Dad! Dad! Papa! Mr. Dad!!

The voices in my brain that won't go away said it's your birthday today!!!

Is it? Your birthday? Are you old!

CAN WE MAKE YOU A CAKE?!!?

- @flaanon 🍮

…uh….yeah, kiddo, it’s my birthday. I guess cake wouldn’t be too bad.

[flaanon]

Hehehehe >:)

GET PRANKED!!!

I already made you a cake, Mr. Phoenix!

OH NO MS. CATERPILLAR!!!!! NOOOO!!!!!!!!

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

Look! I found a bug this morning!

There were also legions of crickets. I'm talking biblical levels. It's the worst part of fall, and I stand ten toes down on that.

Oh, sweet fucking heavens, what is that????

I'm stayin' inside for a reason for the next month or so. Miss me with all that shit.

[flaanon]

It's a bug!

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

💬 for @military-title-red

AND IF YOU WANT A CHALLENGE!!

💬 for @flaanon ?

Unsent texts

You're so handsome I love you

Do you wanna go swimming with me?

I have treats for when you and Gaz get home C:

Bonus ([Adult] Flan message):

I have a day for you to come home for dinner, if you'd like. I know you're busy nowadays, but you're always welcome to come back home

[flaanon]

I'm literally sobbing btw.

How 'bout a bit of Flan lore?

Obviously It's not all right in the brain right now, but in the future? It actually ends up being a relatively well adjusted adult! Mostly thanks to Phoenix tbh, he stays by it's side the whole time. He gets it into school, he makes sure it's thriving, and if something goes wrong? He's gonna do everything in his power to fix it.

He also actually bothers to actually try to help, not just throwing money at it and hope for the best. He loves his kiddo and he's gonna parent the fuck out of it- way more than his parents ever did.

So cut forward twenty something years, and Flan? well Flan isn't Flan anymore.

Therapy and such helped it remember who it was before [redacted because I'm not giving too much lore] and as such it's taken back it's old name.

Fawn :3

She's a tall and pretty woman who uses she/it pronouns and *towers* over Phoenix. :3

She's also a super famous fashion designer!

It also has its own fancy house and responsibilities and such, meaning it doesn't see Phoenix as often :(

Phoenix doesn't wanna be pushy, he's happy his baby is happy and thriving (he even gets fancy clothes sometimes :3), but it can be rough. There are days where he misses it. I mean Flan was a big reason he even got to where he is now, why he's still alive. He didn't know he'd be a dad, especially when he first met that scrawny little thing living in a closet on base, but now? Now he sometimes struggles to imagine a life without it.

But y'know what? No matter how busy, how much work or press stuff she has to do, Fawn still makes an effort to visit! That's still it's dad, no matter what. It comes over for dinner sometimes, spends holidays with him, ect.

Even when things get overwhelming, she knows she has a place at home. Curled up on the couch with Phoenix, rewatching Columbo together.

Uhh- yeah.

Babies.

Fathenix.

The end :3

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

Mr. Abrian? Are you still here? I like how you talk in orange :3

Orange is my favorite color!

Anyways- Mr. Abrian, you're the boss of my dad, right? You can make him do stuff?

- @flaanon 🍮

Omg hi Flan!! Yes hi I’m still here. Orange is a very respectable color.

Uhhh yeah pretty much. He does whatever I want :p

[flaanon]

Oh wowsers- really Mr. Abrian?

Does that mean you can make him sleep better at night?

He's been locking me out of his room because of his nightmares, I think he's worried that he'll wake me up :(

Don't tell him- but I've been sleeping on the floor by his door...

If you make him sleep better, then we can all have a sleepover together! Ms. Caterpillar can come and we can eat snacks and watch a movie! It'll be really fun Mr. Abrian!

[cmdr-graves]

Someone brought ducklings to the base commander...

Can we keep them? 🥹

We're not keepin' goddamn ducklings. Who was it?

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

…

Phil, you gotta understand. They’re so small and they sounded so sad and I couldn’t just leave them on the side of the road!

[cmdr-graves]

Hero, what did I tell ya about the strays? Y'do this with everybody.

[flaanon]

Mr. Phipip! I'm a stray Mr. Phoenix brought in- and you grew to love me, right?

You wouldn't wanna let those duckies be tortured, right? What if a mean person tries to make them stay in a cold dark room and take pills or they hurt you!? That's what happened to me!!

Mr. Phoenix needs to take care of the duckies... At least until he can find a good mama for them :(

And maybe you'll become friends with them! Like how you're friends with me!

[cmdr-graves]

Shinin' example why we need ta put those ducks right back where they came from.

[flaanon]

D:

Buh Mr. Phipip...

I don't like it when they made me take pills... Or when they poked me with needles...

Those duckies need someone to be nice to them! At least for a bit!!

[cmdr-graves]

Jesus Christ. Nobody's torturin' the ducks, Flan.

[flaanon]

BUT THEY WILL. THEY WILL IF YOU DONT TAKE CARE OF THEM.

Mr. Phoenix... You gotta let Mr. Phoenix take care of the ducks... Mr. Phoenix is really nice and protects people really well. Even when they don't have anyone or aren't deserving of help, he doesn't care. He's kind and gentle and makes really tasty food...

Please Mr. Phipip? The duckies need a home- even if it's just for a bit.

They need it... :(

...so do I...

[cmdr-graves]

Someone brought ducklings to the base commander...

Can we keep them? 🥹

We're not keepin' goddamn ducklings. Who was it?

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

…

Phil, you gotta understand. They’re so small and they sounded so sad and I couldn’t just leave them on the side of the road!

[cmdr-graves]

Hero, what did I tell ya about the strays? Y'do this with everybody.

[flaanon]

Mr. Phipip! I'm a stray Mr. Phoenix brought in- and you grew to love me, right?

You wouldn't wanna let those duckies be tortured, right? What if a mean person tries to make them stay in a cold dark room and take pills or they hurt you!? That's what happened to me!!

Mr. Phoenix needs to take care of the duckies... At least until he can find a good mama for them :(

And maybe you'll become friends with them! Like how you're friends with me!

[cmdr-graves]

Shinin' example why we need ta put those ducks right back where they came from.

[flaanon]

D:

Buh Mr. Phipip...

I don't like it when they made me take pills... Or when they poked me with needles...

Those duckies need someone to be nice to them! At least for a bit!!

[cmdr-graves]

Someone brought ducklings to the base commander...

Can we keep them? 🥹

We're not keepin' goddamn ducklings. Who was it?

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

…

Phil, you gotta understand. They’re so small and they sounded so sad and I couldn’t just leave them on the side of the road!

[cmdr-graves]

Hero, what did I tell ya about the strays? Y'do this with everybody.

[flaanon]

Mr. Phipip! I'm a stray Mr. Phoenix brought in- and you grew to love me, right?

You wouldn't wanna let those duckies be tortured, right? What if a mean person tries to make them stay in a cold dark room and take pills or they hurt you!? That's what happened to me!!

Mr. Phoenix needs to take care of the duckies... At least until he can find a good mama for them :(

And maybe you'll become friends with them! Like how you're friends with me!

[sparrow-zayda]

Guess i have been on here for that long…

[flaanon]

Happy tumbl-versary!!

:D

We luv u!!!!!

[cpl-snake]

Mr. Liptid! Mr. Liptid!

Can I ride on a horsey?

Mr. Phoenix said I could as long as I rode with you! I wanna be a super cool cowboy too!

- @flaanon 🍮

oh, uh--hm. y'can ride licorice, sweetiepie. he's a real nice boy.

please stay away from the white horse though.

[flaanon]

Really? Oh wowsers, thank you Mr. Liptid!!

...

So uh- how do I ride a horsey? And why can't I ride the white one? Why can I pet Mr. Lickrice but not Mr. Thunder?

Mr. Thunder seems really nice!

[cpl-snake]

Do you... do you really have horses?

i do, got two lovely ones. black stallion named licorice, he's a sweetheart. 'n a white bronco named lightnin'. he's a bastard but he's my bastard.

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

Huh. Interesting. And you actually ride them? They let you do that?

[cpl-snake]

licorice, absolutely. lightnin's gotta be in the right mood. gotta wine'n'dine him a bit. even then he might kick m'teeth in. but yeah, you wanna ride sometime? bet licorice would love you

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

Wine and dine a horse. Right, okay.

I uh...dunno. Maybe, if you're there.

[flaanon]

Mr. Phoenix! Mc. Liptid! (←do not ask why that's snake's name)

Can *I* ride a horse?

Horses are so cool! Did you know that horses can eat people? Or am I thinking of pigs...

[a-phoenix-must-burn]

possible lore drop today

have to see if my brain will actually decide to work or not. who knows

[flaanon]

No pressure if you're tired, don't force yourself,

but also pls know that many of us actually use Phoenix lore as our main source of sustenance and it's recommended we get at least a small tablespoon in our diet from time to time to prevent organ failure