“ jangling ?! ” it’s an offense that weaves to the core of him. in wider than normal blues and a sneer that spells out what fumbled rebuttals fail to give. some people just didn’t appreciate artistry. what’d come to him in the quiet of lamented evenings that’d have been too heavy to bear without it. meant to offer levity to others, too.. “ it’s not like any of us actually need to sleep ! ” there it was again.
us. it used to sit uneasy for different reasons. overestimating tolerance and mistaking it for friendship. with the others, it’d been easier. they wore their annoyance readily and kept demyx at a steady arm’s length no matter the occasion. but him ? sincerity was never much of a factor. axel hadn’t bothered to feign ignorance to it all. because he had better things to do or other places to be — he’d never asked. and now ? the sand packed firm beneath him, a new shift lacking the movement that’d have done better to swallow him whole than let the discomfort slide back in. shapeless under his skin, into that empty place that asked the nocturne to stretch and find what wasn’t there to be found to alleviate it.
“ say what you want, i heard the snores, ” drowned them out so no one else had to, too. his. larxene’s. down the hall to higher ranks because they all chose to toil in their in-between while he stayed up through his. made greater peace with it than he ever had the sunlit backdrop of new missions and grey matter.
without a heart to weigh it, nothing ever, really, remained light-hearted. confessions of old, grainy memories aside, pushed back further by intrigue, it was simple enough to move on. to seek out a thread to catch at in a story worthy his raised brow. “ —that’s.. ” not supposed to be possible. in all the overlap, there were rules between dark and light. the shadows didn’t fold for heroes. then again, the definition was looking a bit more deflated than usual, of late. “ ..huh. ”
he could keep it there. lea could squeeze as tight or not-at-all as he chose. demyx’s fingers didn’t snap.. they didn’t twitch any more than was owed, pinned down by his gaze that continued up the course of joined arms to find him, there, looking back. expecting something from him. a fight or an answer ; both of which he dug for. clawed through the loose undercurrent that waded in his belly. a bog befitting dull pallor and temporarily clouded eyes what flicked away, back down beyond their coupling and out toward a shore mid-flee.
“ i guess i’m not sure anymore. ” if this was fun. if he had it, or it had him.
the feeling off-set his teeth. put rigidity in his spine. honesty. vexen had prattled on about the loss of self, once. warned that they needed to see this game through or risk losing what made them them. even if the ‘ them ’ in question were a little less memorable. a little less sharp. blurry like lea was, foreignly familiar beside him. like fingers that may not’ve seared, but sat warm over his pulse never the less. finally begged the strain of demyx’s fist and a frown that committed to the sentiment. “ are you ? ”
and isn’t that the question of the year? lea sobers, his fingers relaxing their hold around demyx’ wrist though not retreating their touch, their hands now almost linked between them in the warmth of the sand. asked so starkly, he can’t even find it in himself to react glibly, or brush it off with a joke like he might have once. but in regaining his heart, he’s also regained that dreadful quality of introspection, of looking at oneself and realizing the person you see is not someone you strictly speaking enjoy. he’d vowed to himself and roxas and xion and anyone else who’d tried to approach him that he would try and deal in a little more honesty. if not with himself, then at least in some base attempt to regain trust, to attone for the shit he’s done. if only it wasn’t so fucking hard.
his heart skips, an almost uncomfortable weight in his chest. he’s not quite figured out yet what he’s supposed to do now, to be able to feel more like himself. that in and of itself poses the issue of still not quite knowing who he even is. so here he is, maybe running, maybe trying to find himself. maybe trying to figure out where to go from here.
lea’s eyes cut to demyx, wide and clear, open in a way axel never could be. “ guess i’m not really sure either. “ and that’s the honest truth. “ can’t say i’m opposed to finding out, though. not like there’s much else left to do, with xehanort finally having kicked the bucket, “ and unless he’s got a third organisation with another thirteen clones of himself stashed away somewhere, lea can have faith in the knowledge it’s like to stay that way. whatever new threat may come along, he’ll leave that to sora and his friends --- keyblade wielder or no. he’s deserved a damn vacation, if nothing else.
“ you could come with me, y’ know? “ the words tumble out without real thought, another impulse coasting on the same one that brought him here in the first place. coincidence or not, their meeting strikes as almost predetermined. lea hadn’t come here with the intent of finding demyx, or anything other than just to see where his whim took him and yet here they were, on this beach, uncertain of where they stand. it doesn’t have to be that way. lea can’t say whether they’d been friends or more or less, but just like he’s willing to rediscover what he considers fun, just like he’s willing to rediscover who he is, he wouldn’t mind figuring out if there’s something to rebuild between him and demyx, heartless or not, on the foundations of what used to be. he tightens their hold, squeezes the hand still held in his. “ i have no fucking clue where i’m gonna go next, but i think i’d enjoy having you along, wherever it is. “
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