lily of the valley

lily potter. twenty years old. order of the phoenix.

[fleurdelisxpotter]

indogyearsimdeadsirius:

“The full wasn’t terrible.” At least, as far as he could tell. Things hadn’t gone badly. No one had been too hurt, there’d been no fighting. It was the after that seemed to have got to Remus, and Sirius couldn’t figure out why. “But he chewed up his arm out there, and he won’t let anyone look at it.” 

He curled up next to her, head rested on her shoulder. Mornings after the full were odd. There was an energy, an awakeness - and a full body exhaustion that came from lack of sleep and running all night as well. 

“Because I am talking to Cassandra Avery.” He didn’t lift his head from her shoulder. “And I never told him.” 

She frowned at the knowledge that Remus was injured and wouldn’t let anyone help.  “I say you give him an hour and then tell him that it’s his choice but you or Mary are coming in there to heal him and that’s all there is to it.”  

Once he was on the couch with her, she lifted a hand to run it through his hair.  It was habit at this point, and the only normal thing about how it felt having a human pressed against her oversized stomach.  Her eyes widened as he mentioned Cassandra Avery and she held her breath for a moment to keep herself from saying something completely unhelpful.  

She hated Avery with every electrified fiber of her being but she also understood who Avery was to Sirius.  She was his brother’s wife.  She was the only thing left of Regulus that Sirius could reach.  And if Petunia were suddenly gone, Lily wasn’t entirely certain she wouldn’t reach out to Vernon and Dudley just to have a piece of her sister still in her life.  Of course, Vernon would slam the door right in her face if she did bother showing up so a part of her could accept that Sirius was even lucky that Avery would talk to him in the first place.  

That all took about thirty seconds to go through her head before she spoke again.  “Do you want me to talk to him?  You know James.  The only brother he’s ever had is you, he doesn’t understand who Avery is, not really.”

[fleurdelisxpotter]

indogyearsimdeadsirius:

[ for a moment he considers not answering in any human sort of way. she’s presented the perfect invitation, curling up underneath the window. he could join her as padfoot, curl up with his head pressed to her shoulder, and wait out whatever the rest of this evening is. 

the not talking to james bit, and the remus clearly destroying something and refusing help bit, and - well, peter was perfectly fine, but he was peter. and sirius didn’t want to think about lily, and what that meant if he wasn’t talking to james. 

because he wasn’t. not really, not properly. 

it would be easy. to stay like this. 

he’s not naked when he turns back. in fifth year, through school, that hadn’t seemed like the most important aspect of being an animagus. once he’d joined the order, not accidentally showing alastor moody his dick if he’d been caught on an op seemed, well, optimal. ]

Nothing. Remus is destroying our bedroom, I’m not talking to your husband, McGonagall’s brother is dead, but nothing. 

Nothing had felt right lately and it was making everyone feel awful.  Feel a mess.  She liked to believe she was completely unflappable and so she blamed the fact that she was basically nine months pregnant and about to explode on the fact that she was crying.  A lot.  So it was easier for her to focus on other people.  On making sure Remus was ready for the full and on decorating the nursery with James.  

And right now, on Sirius.  

She pressed her lips together at his words and held out her arms for him to curl up with her. 

“Remus has destroyed your bedroom before.  He’ll let you in soon and tell you what happened and you’ll make everything fine.”  She didn’t say it just to appease him, it was fact as far as she was concerned.  “Why aren’t you talking to James?”

[fleurdelisxpotter]

indogyearsimdeadsirius:

[ there’s suddenly a very large dog at lily’s side, tugging at her wrist with his teeth. it’s never quite a good sign to have a giant dog running around your house, especially one that looks alarmingly like the Grim. even less one that becomes a dog when not especially emotionally stable. 

he pulls gently at her hand, tugging her towards the sunroom. ] 

@fleurdelisxpotter

[ lily had loved and been living with sirius long enough to know that when he begged for her attention, that was just his way.  he needed attention all the time.  he was like tinkerbell, he needed applause to live.  but she had also loved and lived with him long enough to know that when he begged for her attention as padfoot...

...something was wrong.  

she let him tug her along and curled up on one of the couches under a window ]

Hey now, what’s wrong?

[fleurdelisxpotter]

indogyearsimdeadsirius:

Your comparison is that it’s Snape you’re talking to. 

Of course I don’t believe him, Sirius, but that’s why I want to know what actually happened.

[fleurdelisxpotter]

snxvellussnxpe:

He sighed, shaking his head. “All I have to do is say Lupin’s name and he’s ready to fight,” he said. He’d been a little more cruel than that, but technically, it held some truth. “We’ve never gotten along, I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe.” They’d done the same in school, after all. “Apparently fake marriage has made them oversensitive, I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s not like I tried to get into a fight with them either.”

She huffed out a breath, shaking her had.  She’d really hoped that this would be different.  She hadn’t thought they would be what they were before but she’d thought that maybe, just maybe, they’d grown.  “Not getting along and actively beating the pulp out of each other are two different things,” she pointed out sharply.  At his jibe, her expression darkened.  “When you say shit like that, it’s not surprising they were angry.  Who are you to say what’s fake and what’s not?  Why the hell would you even bring it up?”

[fleurdelisxpotter]

indogyearsimdeadsirius:

And I’m positive he was totally believable. 

If I have nothing to compare it with?  [ she shrugs ]

[fleurdelisxpotter]

indogyearsimdeadsirius:

I don’t want to talk about it. 

@fleurdelisxpotter​

You don’t have to but if you don’t I only have Sev’s account of what happened.

[fleurdelisxpotter]

snxvellussnxpe:

He chuckles softly and shakes his head. “So long as they’re not dangerous to throw in together,” he says. “Many an accident started like that in Potions.” One or two might’ve been his fault, but just a couple. Her smile makes his whole body feel warm and pleasant, and he shakes his head with bemusement. “They had butterscotch pudding, of course I did,” he says. “We’d’ve missed it. And it’s not like the stairs weren’t going to be there when we got out of lunch. They move, they don’t disappear.”

“That happened one time,” she protests with a laugh.  “One time where it was my fault, anyway,” she amends after a moment.  By fifth year they’d had more fun making up their own potions after they’d finished the assignments in record time.  Professor Slughorn had to put out fires at their worktable more than a few times, usually finding a laughing Lily and Severus when the smoke had cleared.  “It’s not like they weren’t going to have butterscotch pudding again, the stairs moved.”  

[fleurdelisxpotter]

snxvellussnxpe:

The moment it was actually going okay faded fast when she stepped away, and a small sigh built up in his chest. She’d asked what happened, at least, and not gone with ‘what did you do?’ like he’d expected. He shook his head. “They had nothing better to do, apparently, I don’t know,” he said. “I was being civil. Apparently not civil enough. Black punched me, and we dueled. Lupin threatened to kill me or turn me into a h– you know what.” He wasn’t going to mess up and say something offensive in front of Lily again. He shook his head. “Am I just not supposed to fight back when that happens? I didn’t start this, Lily. You have to believe me on that.”

The deja vu was strong and more than a little unwelcome.  She had always hated being the go between when it came to Severus and the Marauders and she had no desire to do it again.  “I believe Sirius might have punched first but I don’t believe for a second he walked up to you out of the blue and decided it was a good day for a fist fight.” Sirius had a temper for sure but that was out of character even for him.  “And Remus is the most even tempered person I know.  What.  Happened?”

[fleurdelisxpotter]

ppprongs:

“Then we repaint it,” James answered with a grin, turning to her and tossing the samples over his shoulder. “We could paint it every week when they’re not looking. Make them think the walls are charmed–we could charm the walls!”

She giggled as he tossed the samples over his shoulder and held up her hands for him to take them  – so she could pull him down to her level.  “What did your nursery look like when you were little?  Did things float and fly?  Did your parents charm the walls?”

[fleurdelisxpotter]

snxvellussnxpe:

He can smile at that. He shakes his head. “Maybe we should get a catalogue,” he says jokingly. “Or send you a few impulse buys so you feel like you went out yourself.” But he’d like her to come to the shop; it’s been a long time– obviously, since he didn’t realize she was pregnant. He hasn’t spoken to her since before she got married– since they’d been together and this friendly with each other. He shakes his head. “I thought it was funny,” he says. “You were excited enough about being there for the both of us. I think you’d’ve just sat on the moving staircases all day like some sort of weird ride if I’d let you.”

Her smile is actually starting to be not only genuine but wide.  “Both sounds like it would cover all the bases.  Catalogue to remember the things I forget and impulse buys because that’s the best way to come up with new potions, honestly.  Just throwing together things you have on the shelves.”  Her smile softens as she thinks back to that first year at Hogwarts.  if feels like a lifetime ago, like another person entirely.  “I tried to.  You pulled me off because we’d be late for lunch.”

[fleurdelisxpotter]

ppprongs:

James couldn’t help but laugh. He was holding up some paint samples along side the ones they’d stuck to the wall, and as he laughed his steadiness faltered a bit, shaking them. “All colors? Maybe we should just raise the kid in the middle of the woods. No walls at all.”

She looked up at him with desperation, trying not to smile.  “Yes.  All colors.  They’re all wrong.  I don’t like any of them enough to put them on walls.  What if we choose wrong?  What if they hate the colors we pick?”

[fleurdelisxpotter]

She was sitting in the room that the boys had all told her was fine for the nursery, staring from walls to paint samples and back again.  “I hate all colors.  Every color is awful and gross.”  

@ppprongs

[fleurdelisxpotter]

snxvellussnxpe:

He grimaces when she touches the tender spot of his wrist, but he doesn’t mind it. She’s touching his arm, and her fingertips are warm and gentle, caring, even. He watches her instead of watching her hands at work, memorizing the concern and worry on her face. He nods. “I wasn’t looking for a fight,” he tells her. Not true. “They threw the first punches. Actual punches.” He gestures to his face with his free hand. That part, at least, is true. Though he’d brought it on himself. But even the hint of truth was enough to make him feel justified in filling in with a few lies.

She couldn’t say she didn’t believe that the first actual punches hadn’t been thrown by Sirius or Remus but she most certainly didn’t believe they hadn’t had some sort of provocation.  She didn’t ask any more questions as she tightened her jaw and pressed the tip of her wand against his wrist, muttering the spells to heal the bones before she let’s his wrist fall, stepping back and crossing her arms across her chest.  “What happened?”

[fleurdelisxpotter]

snxvellussnxpe:

He nods slowly, trying to process, and more importantly not to immediately say something horrible about James. They’re being friendly right now, and he doesn’t want her to leave, even if this new information makes him want to storm off. He doesn’t know what to say, and he refuses to say congratulations. “I wouldn’t imagine it would be,” he says instead, trying to keep things neutral. “Well you know we do deliver orders right to you if you need.” Her weak attempt at a laugh gives him something to latch onto, and his smile half returns. “You spent the first two weeks we were at Hogwarts going ‘Severus, look!’ at every single magical thing we could find,” he reminds her. “It was a magical school, there was a lot of stuff. If that’s not annoying, I think you’re fine.”

She’s glad he doesn’t say anything about her changing her mind or being talked into it.  She’s glad he doesn’t say much about it at all.  She doesn’t really want to go into the whole thing, especially not when things are going so well between them for the first time in a long time.  “I know, but I like coming into the shop.  I always realize I forgot I needed something when I come across it.”  She can’t help but smile a little at the memory.  “I don’t know how you didn’t start rolling your eyes at me.  It was a magical castle, I didn’t shut up for weeks.”

[fleurdelisxpotter]

snxvellussnxpe:

“But I packed it up in a box and everything,” he protests, though it’s halfhearted and far from genuine. Though he had put a lot of work into it. She moves immediately to help him, and Severus relaxes, letting her do her work rather than pulling back from her. He shakes his head, brows furrowed. “They said awful things about Regulus, and you,” he says, which is half true, if he’s stretching enough. He puts out his hand to let her heal it. “I thought Black and Lupin would’ve run to you the second they could. It was hardly a fair fight. They were quite pleased with themselves.”

Her hands moved with quick and sure movements over his wrist, feeling for where the break was so she knew what spells would work the best.  She’d learned to do this in sixth year, she’d perfected it when she started staying at the cottage with the boys on full moon weekends.  And it was that experience that helped her keep her hands steady so she didn’t painfully shift his wrist when he told her who he’d been fighting with.  “Remus and Sirius? You fought with Remus and Sirius?”

[fleurdelisxpotter]

snxvellussnxpe:

His smile freezes. It’s like someone’s taken a picture of his face from a moment again and pasted it over his actual face so it looks like he’s just stuck on that one expression. His gaze flicks down over the countertop, and sure enough… He purses his lips for a moment before he shakes his head. “I didn’t realize you’d changed your mind about wanting kids,” he says, though he knows whose fault that is. “Nothing you could do would ever be annoying.”

She follows his gaze down to her far too large stomach and back up again, shrugging and shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another.  “I didn’t realize I had either,” she admits.  “It wasn’t really a plan.”  She huffs a half hearted laugh.  “Well that’s not true but thank you.”