I'm Great @fliipadelphia - Tumblr Blog

had a dream where my mom tried to give our Venus fly trap a spoonful of milk and it immediately started hacking and coughing like an adult human man

cowboy

I recently had to cut an online friend I’ve known for 4ish years off because I realized he wouldn’t actually read anything I said, he just waited for me to finish so he could say whatever he wanted. And the way he’d avoid listening to me was sending pictures of willem dafoe like I’d say something and he’d send a picture of him and I’d be like hey stop it and he’d just send another. Every time I talked to him I’d see willem dafoe at least like 30 times. It was funny at first but then it kept going

This is spectacular. Idk what to even say.

mioxenoblade

🍜🍥🍜

yesterdaysprint

The Cincinnati Enquirer, Ohio, February 21, 1947

collectinganxiouswords

image transcription: The saying, “Life is just one damn thing after another,” is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.”

striderepiphany

sylvanianfamilieslove

egberts

just got a weighted blanket fellas, i’ll keep you updated

egberts

update 1: heabvy

egberts

update 2: confy

kaijuno

This is the bad place

bonsigh

the vet needed to shave my baby's legs for the anesthesia and now she just has little boots on, met gala invite when

fullmetalfisting

Was walking my dog downtown and he stopped to drink from a dog bowl in front of a bar and I was like “Oh, are you a thirsty little boy?” And a grown-ass man sitting there said “i guess I am,” as he took a sip of his beer and then he realized I was not talking to him and looked completely horrified

retroactivebakeries

#id fuck him

lovelyirony

my mom has finally understood the concept of how to use “tea” as slang, but only kind of. she came into my room and said “jessie, i have tea today” and i was obviously like what happened but as it turns out she just thinks tea means information so she told me that she got avocadoes on sale. that was the tea.