curiosity is the best and most human trait

you can call me ella :) white cis he/she lesbian, nosferatu, izzet, 27, USA

[fishpondfish]

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

[penny-anna]

what the hell is going on

[penny-anna]

i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.

[penny-anna]

Please god it would be so funny

[penny-anna]

there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.

[penny-anna]

for people out of the loop:

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.

[butterflyslinky]

So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?

[penny-anna]

I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.

Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.

[penny-anna]

The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.

[ssjandtechno]

My favourite part of this so far is that, owing to the BBC's charter of neutrality, they have to interview Count Binface and his representatives (he has none) on equal terms to Farage. So he has appeared on a very serious, very straight laced British News Show.

The two 'earthlings' in this video, Justin Webb and Nick Robinson, are known for being impeccably well read and well researched, for giving politicians really harsh, uncomprimising interviews, for reporting unflinchingly on massacres of civillians in Gaza, Sudan, and Iran, for speaking truth to power. And today they interviewed Count Binface. There are two possible outcomes here: 1) Farage wins and his investigation by the commons standards comission gets immediately reopened (and there's a motion in parliament at the moment to continue the investigation while Farage isn't an MP, and of course he didn't turn up to argue his point), and we're back where we started, or 2) Farage loses to a fecking bin. And I'm honestly not sure which is funnier

[dykepuffs]

There is a really frustrating thing where some kinds of speculative story are hard to write because they will be assumed to be bad (clumsy, harmful, regressive) metaphors for real-world events or people, rather than exploring completely speculative ideas. Like:

"What if a small group of religious extremists, persecuted in their own country, moved to an inhospitable uninhabited island and had to rebuild society there?" - But the Americas and Australia weren't inhospitable and were full of Native nations, why are you perpetuating the idea of Terra Nullius and manifest destiny? - Yes, that's because this isn't a metaphor for the British invading other countries, it's a metaphor for finding out how much of a person's religious practise is rooted in worldly concerns, vs how much they will really stymie themselves for the sake of God.

"What if 1/100 children born was a werewolf?" - But queer people are no danger to straight people, and disabled people don't have predictable patterns to their illnesses, and most people who have uncontrollable rages really CAN control them and are just lying, and no minority group has superpowers... - Yes, but that's all immaterial, because I wanted to talk about a load of other metaphors about the passage of time and responsibility and the relationship between humans and wildlife.

It almost feels like death of the author, like "Death of the most obvious metaphor" - If you couldn't reach for the (tormented) parallel between being an alien species and being stateless, what stories could someone tell? If your changeling-baby was neither disabled nor adopted, what would the story be about? Etc.

[miseria-fortes-viros]

[hungwy]

*strapped to a chair, staring at a screen*

Me: uhhh... white shirt

*I flail in my restraints as electric shocks race through my body*

Intercom: the oversized beige cowboy snoopy shirt was optimal for this outfit. next.

*screen changes*

Me: uhh... ummm... baseball cap

Intercom: which one?

Me: uhhh... Plain black one

*I'm zapped again, longer this time*

Intercom: the denim snoopy baseball cap was optimal for this outfit. Remember, three times in a row and you will fail the test. next.

*screen changes*

Me: *squinting through the sweat dripping into my eyes* D-dress shirt with a little snoopy over the pocket?

Intercom: good. The embroidered snoopy dress shirt shows you mean business but in a fun, approachable way. Next.

[wizardarchetypes]

getting my labs done today i was thinking about years ago when i went to the doctor and i was like 'i've been to another doctor already but he wouldn't listen to me. something's wrong. i've never been this tired in all my life. i know i'm in college and i know i have depression but this is different. please you have to try something.'

so the doctor (back then) ordered labs and it turned out my vitamin d level was like 5 or 7 and i've never seen a doctor so elated about lab results in my entire life. she said, 'it's never. vitamin d. but it is this time. we can fix this. you're going to feel better.'

she was literally like

[bebsi-cola]

abelds have this funky ability where they hear disabled people say they "can't" do something and instead of hearing "can't" as in, cannot, they hear "i can if i push myself and i just don't wanna". which is really interesting!

[beggars-opera]

Good job boys keep up the good work

[petal-metal-blog]

OMG MY NEW SHOES CAME :3 ignore my ugly house arrest ankle bracelet. haha

[arroz]

I’ve known this post longer than I’ve known most of my friends

[prokopetz]

I know this makes me a Bad Socialist, but I can’t help but find it hilarious when two rawr-kill-the-bourgeoisie types get to talking and slowly come to realise that they’re setting the bar in very different places with respect to the definition of “bourgeois”. Like, one of them is talking about the direct exploitation of the working class, while the other means “anyone who lives in a house”.

[anchovy]

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

[anchovy]

I’m so fucked

[rekhaa]

what the actual fuck

[greater-than-the-sword]

This kind of thing wouldn't be socially acceptable to do with photoshop and all of a sudden people think this is okay?

[theprofessional-amateur]

Every day I get a little closer to saying fuck it and becoming an apprentice in some at risk heritage craft or profession.

[theprofessional-amateur]

"let's have AI-"

I'm gonna go learn the art of hand engraving or thatched roofing. Maybe hand make clogs.

[daxleopard]

Here's a menu to choose from :)

Charity that promotes, safeguards and celebrates heritage craft skills in the UK

[lew-basnight]

Wait wait do you get paid a stipend for food and shelter while you apprentice? Why would you not do this? There are some heritage crafters around here and they take students but you basically have to be independently wealthy. Otherwise I'd have been a blacksmith and ironworker six years ago. "Oh menial retail jobs that steal your soul really need me" fuck that noise

[ryan-sometimes]

Working an office job will truly make you have the wildest enemies, bc why is my nemesis rn a woman I’ve never met and who exclusively haunts me by sending diabolical emails, and also a specific guy who left my company before I even worked here and made the system so fuckass that it ruined procedures for like a year

[ryan-sometimes]

Yesterday my nemesis (woman I’ve never met and whose face I’ve never seen) sent my office an email so rude, basically saying we had fucked up every project she ever ordered from us, one of the worst emails I’ve ever read in my life.

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.

It was the most satisfying workday I’ve had since I got hired.

[winnie-wine]

[sentientsky]

characters going “we were lovers once”: eh, it’s okay i guess. it’s nice enough

characters going “we were friends once”: absolutely devastating. one hit knockout i’m gone

[zoppzoop]

getting violently ill btw

[lesbianralzarek]

im so high that i convinced myself that tf2 added irl bottom surgery. im baffled that my waking brain could do that to itself. no one even had to lie to me, i just produced that thought and immediately believed it. im worried i might be stupid?

[penny-anna]

get im

[penny-anna]

[3000s]

dreamt that walmart was doing some kind of sale where they partnered with a company called "freevaginaphotos.com" and when i bought something they also printed out a picture of someones vagina and gave it to me