If you feel really tired, worthless and filled with doubt and self hatred, and you wonder if thereās any point to you at all after being insulted and put down by abusers for your every move, know that you are not weak. Anyone would feel discouraged and depressed after that. Thereās no human on this planet who can be continually disregarded, discouraged, told theyāre worthless and treated as such, criticized and shamed for everything they do, and keep feeling okay and normal and sure in themselves. We rely on feedback from others to gain certainty and clarity, we need to know that others see us, appreciate us and welcome us in their lives. Itās against reason that people around us who hate every single thing about us, would still want us around. So we feel unwanted and abandoned and tired of trying, tired of being punished and put down for every effort we make.
Those who do it to you are aware theyāre treating you bad, and that nobody on this earth deserves to be treated so horribly. Cutting into your confidence, willpower, sanity, and making you feel bad for even existing is not done with good intentions, or can be excused as ājust saying the truthā, itās a sign of hatred and desire to destroy. So you are not just crumbling over some criticism and remarks, youāre being chafed, bit by bit, by hatred that doesnāt stop. Not one of us can withstand life alone, being surrounded by nothing but hatred. It eats at us, swallows us until we can no longer tell if weāre worthy of love, if anything we do makes any sense.
You deserve the comfort and support you crave. Youāre worth that. You deserve someone believing in you so strongly nothing could make you doubt your worth. Youāre worth someone putting effort in you, supporting you even when you donāt feel youāre worth supporting. You are, because we all are, because itās one of our basic needs to have people on our side. Nobody deserves to be singled out, isolated and hurt, itās obviously a way to torture a human being. You donāt deserve that either. You deserve a chance to feel okay. You deserve to be sure that its a good thing you exist.