Yummers

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[born-a-zombie-deactivated202301]

I've been looking through blogs of people with AvPD because I want to learn more about this disorder I probably have and something interesting I noticed is how the aesthetic pictures they post all have the same sort of vibe. I will use this AvPD moodboard someone made (credit to avpdvoidspace) because I think it exemplifies what this "vibe" is pretty well.

There's lots of places without people or what would be considered limimal spaces, abandoned places, places where you can... go to be forgotten. I don't know, I just think it's interesting how someone's disorder can impact their aesthetic

[zombie-from-mercury]

I'm just now learning about AvPD recently and after looking into it I think I probably have it, but while researching I couldn't get the thought out of my head that probably 95% (and that's a conservative estimate) of people who have this think it's just bad social anxiety and will die thinking it was just bad social anxiety. But the difference between normal social anxiety and AvPD is that AvPD never goes away. Social anxiety is when you're anxious when meeting new people but after a while the anxiety is gone. AvPD is preemptively assuming every social interaction you ever make will go wrong even with people you've known for a long time and are close with including basic things like sharing your favorite color or song, and even if and when it does go right, feeling like it was wrong and feeling an enormous amount of regret after talking to anyone. I would not be surprised if a lot of autistic people have developed this after struggling significantly in the social realm but just mistook it for autism, because part of it is believing you're terribly socially inept, and when you're autistic it's kind of treated like a fact to begin with so you never question it.

[fallingmaddlyinlove]

i think the worst part abt having avoidant personality disorder is how small you feel. everywhere you go. it is so tiring. everyone is always somehow above you, and you are always the lowest and the least qualified

[auricavpd]

DAE with AvPD have issues turning up to class because of their avoidance? i hardly show up to college on wednesdays because "i don't need to be here" so i leave early, which really fucks with my attendance percentage but i'd rather have a low attendance and an angry email that i can ignore rather than having to show up and sit with people i don't know

[auricavpd]

i wish that massive insecurity wave wouldn't hit me when they leave me alone for just 5 minutes so here i am going to sleep because i've convinced myself they have more important people to talk to and i'm not worth their time so i'd might as well sleep anyway

[t-mbourine]

smth smth, there are two wolves!!! inside of me!!! one of them low-key wants to do more avpd postin for the shits and giggles, and also to just generally record my Brain Vomit for personal reasons. the other one fears that i will be annoying and ""bring down the mood"" or whatever because i feel like most people i Know perceive me as this tiny lil cheery being, and going Off Script would be Bad, Actually. I'll probably ultimately end up deleting most, if not all of my drafts re:avpd bullshit.

in short: fellas i am once again Experiencing Symptoms :D ! /lh

[auricavpd]

i tried making my first post and then worried if it seemed stupid or if i should even post it or if anybody could even relate so there we go i think that's an avpd post in itself

[tavpdfw]

Tavpdfw u receive criticism and get that dull ache in your chest

ME JUST NOW..... i almost dropped my luggage lol

[flimflops]

The masculine urge to protect cluster c

[nemevex]

how empaths™ see personality disorders

cluster a: weird. i think it's just anxiety and autism to be honest. schizophrenia too with their delusions and stuff, i think they should probably be admitted to a hospital in my opinion? just to keep us safe :D

cluster b:

ASPD: absolutely evil, rotten to the core. thank god i'm such a good person with my empathy. absolute psychopaths and definite future serial killers and rapists, throw them all into jail. also my brother definitely is an ASPD psychopath cus he showers with socks on and puts the milk before the cereal

HPD: is this even a thing? i think it's just BPD or something, sounds just like attention-seeking celebrities

BPD: either abusive alcoholic edgy violent manipulators or soft crying uwu protect them babies, no in-between, depends on how ableist i feel today

NPD: abusive and evil, violent and disgusting and everything you need to avoid in a person. my exes were narcissists and so were my parents. anyway remind me to make a post about empath struggles because i think i'm such a good person by being able to assume the emotions of others, and healing from narcissistic abuse tonight. i also don't think it's a real disorder at all, it's just a way for our abusers to gain sympathy by faking a disability.

cluster c: anxiety and dependent and OCD or something i don't know lol

[flimflops]

That avpd feel when I'm Sorry I Avoided You, I Remembered That Mean Thing You Said To Me Back In 2015 And Had To Stay Away From You In Case You Did It Again

[celecaster-deactivated20231105]

[ NT voice ] Ah, yes, the three clusters of personality disorders, uhhh ,, 𝔇𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱 𝔖𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔷𝔬𝔭𝔥𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔞, ＴＷｉｓｔｅｄ ｆｕＣｋｉｎｇ ＣｙｃｌｅｐＡｔｈ and uuuhhh.

 The Third One

[vsemily]

Internet Safety

[carnivoroustomatoes]

[Image ID: A non descript figure in the background labelled as “some asshole” is being talked about by a group in the foreground. One person says “This guy obviously has a rare stigmatized personality disorder that is formed from trauma, I know because they are an asshole who does bad things.” The others in the group respond with “makes sense to me” and “I agree”. End ID]

This is about ASPD and NPD but people have to stop doing this in general. You can’t diagnose someone based on how their behaviour effects others, what makes a disorder a disorder is that it negatively impacts the daily life of the one suffering from it. Most assholes are assholes because they can be and not because they developed unhealthy thought patterns and defense mechanism as a result of trauma that is much more unpleasant for them to deal with than you. 

Using our diagnoses to mean “bad irredeemable people”, spreading stigma and misinformation actively makes the world more hostile towards us for just existing. The worst of this comes from systems that have power over us such as the legal system and especially the psychiatric system where doctors who share the same ableist views use their power to abuse us or deny us of help. Stop armchair diagnosing people whether they’re strangers in the public eye or people you know personally, telling you to stop spreading stigma and being ableist isn’t invalidating your pain, stop using excuses to speak over us.

[zenophrenic]

[atlasisntdead]

[furiousgoldfish]

If you feel really tired, worthless and filled with doubt and self hatred, and you wonder if there’s any point to you at all after being insulted and put down by abusers for your every move, know that you are not weak. Anyone would feel discouraged and depressed after that. There’s no human on this planet who can be continually disregarded, discouraged, told they’re worthless and treated as such, criticized and shamed for everything they do, and keep feeling okay and normal and sure in themselves. We rely on feedback from others to gain certainty and clarity, we need to know that others see us, appreciate us and welcome us in their lives. It’s against reason that people around us who hate every single thing about us, would still want us around. So we feel unwanted and abandoned and tired of trying, tired of being punished and put down for every effort we make.

Those who do it to you are aware they’re treating you bad, and that nobody on this earth deserves to be treated so horribly. Cutting into your confidence, willpower, sanity, and making you feel bad for even existing is not done with good intentions, or can be excused as “just saying the truth”, it’s a sign of hatred and desire to destroy. So you are not just crumbling over some criticism and remarks, you’re being chafed, bit by bit, by hatred that doesn’t stop. Not one of us can withstand life alone, being surrounded by nothing but hatred. It eats at us, swallows us until we can no longer tell if we’re worthy of love, if anything we do makes any sense.

You deserve the comfort and support you crave. You’re worth that. You deserve someone believing in you so strongly nothing could make you doubt your worth. You’re worth someone putting effort in you, supporting you even when you don’t feel you’re worth supporting. You are, because we all are, because it’s one of our basic needs to have people on our side. Nobody deserves to be singled out, isolated and hurt, it’s obviously a way to torture a human being. You don’t deserve that either. You deserve a chance to feel okay. You deserve to be sure that its a good thing you exist.