[pascalisthepunkest]

Masterlist Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels

Warnings/mentions: Alcohol 🥃 Blood 💉 Drugs 💊 Violence 🔪

Keys: Angst 😢 Fluff 💕 Smut 🔥 Smutish 🍑

Fanfics

Cocky Toff in Cowboy Hat One 💕🥃🔥 Two 😢🔥 Three 😢🔪🔥 Four 🔥💉😢💕

Sharing Is Caring x Reader x Merlin One 💕🔥 Two 🔥 Three 🔥 Four 🔥 Five 🔥  

Headcanons

Being a Kingsman who’s close to Eggsy, and Agent Tequila and Whiskey having a thing for you 💕

Cuddling 💕

Dating Agent Whiskey 💕

Engagement rings 💕

First Date with Whiskey 🥃💕   

First dates 🥃💕

First Time with Whiskey 🥃💕

Hogwarts houses 🐍

Honeymoons 💕

How they handle jealousy 💕

How they help you through stress 💕🥃

Love languages 💕

NSFW 🔥

Personality traits he would look for in a significant other 💕

Terms of endearment 💕

Whiskey flirting with a Statesman 💕

Why you fight 😢

Imagines

Accompanying Agent Whiskey to a Statesman gala 🥃😢💕

Agent Whiskey being jealous of your new mission partner 💕

Agent Whiskey defending your honor when men start being rude to you at a bar 🥃💕

Agent Whiskey freaking out when you get the blue rash 💊😢

Agent Whiskey giving you a cute code name 💕

American Boy 🥃💕

Back for Good 😢🥃💕

Barely Enough 🥃🔥

Being a hacker 💕

Being a new Statesman and Agent Whiskey reassuring you before your first mission 💕

Being Eggsy’s girlfriend who gets sent to New York to help the Statemen and falling in love with Whiskey 😢

Being Eggsy’s sister and you start to date Whiskey which makes Eggsy really uncomfortable 💕

Being invited to celebrate Christmas with the Statesman’s and them going completely over the top with everything 💕

Being married to Jack for a mission 🔪💉💕

Being new to Statesman 💕

Being stuck in a lift 💕

Bittersweet Whiskey 🔥

Dance 💕🥃

Day Off 🍑

Everything I Need 💉💕🥃🍑

Favorite Weapon 🔪💕  

Flirting with Whiskey at Glastonbury 🥃💕

Having a talent of ending up in compromising looking situations with your partner, Whiskey 🔪💕

Having your first time with Jack 🔥💕

Hello, Nurse 💉💕

How Do You Like It 🥃

I Worry Because I Care 😢💕

Jack teaching reader how to ride 💕

Just Friends 🥃💕

Just One Night 😢

Just What I Needed 💕

Mine for a Day 💕🥃

Mine for a Night 🔥

Missing 😢

Not a One-Night Stand 🔥💕

Oblivious 💕

Office Views 💕🔥

Old Man 🥃💕

One Night 🔥💕

Proof You’re Here 😢🔥💕

Regrets 💕

Reluctant Birthday Celebrations 💕

Rest Can Wait 🥃💕🍑

Sing 🥃💕

Something More 💕

Sour Whiskey 💕

Teasing Whiskey because he uses a “skipping rope” as a weapon 💕

Tequila and Whiskey both liking you, and not knowing about each of their feelings until you receive flowers from Tequila and chocolates from Whiskey 💕

Twinning 💕

Twins 💕

Twins Interception 😢

Unwanted Attention 💕

Valentine’s Day Surprise x Merlin 💕🍑

Watch It Cowboy… 💕

Whiskey being worried about you on a mission 😢

Whiskey Dick 🥃🔥💕

Worth It 🥃😢

Preferences

How they react to catching you pleasuring yourself while moaning their name 🍑

How they react to getting caught being busy with you 🍑  

How they react to seeing you, a tomboy, finally wearing a dress and having make up on for a mission with them 💕

How they react to you being a more quiet lover 🍑

How they react to you covering up because you’re insecure 💕

How they react to you drunkenly telling others about how much you love them 🥃💕

How they react to you taking care of them when they’re injured 💕

How they react to you thinking they’re kidding when they ask you out 💕

How they react to you whispering “I love you” as you’re both making love  💕🍑

Make up sex with them after a fight 🍑

Saying they love you 💕

Prompts

A: Let’s split up. B: Let’s not.  |  We all know, that ____ will be the first to die. |  It’s my nightmare come to life. 💕 

A: Sir, I think I speak for all of us when– B: She doesn’t.  | No matter what happens, you’re not allowed to fall in love with me. 💕

Am I supposed to be impressed?  | You’re lucky you’re cute. 💕

Are you in trouble? 🥃

Christmas doesn’t have to be about family, ya know? | Yeah, uh, alcohol doesn’t go in hot chocolate 🥃💕

Don’t be an asshole. Asshole. | Oh, did I scare you, big boy? 💕

How about we put the gun down and talk about this? | I trusted you. 🔪😢

I can’t believe you did this all, for me.  |  Is that a mistletoe? 😢💕

I can’t do this anymore.  |  Here, take my hand. Everything is fine, just hold onto me and keep moving. 🔪😢💕

I heard that!  | You were supposed to! 🥃💕

I just don’t know how to look forward anymore. 🥃😢

I made you cupcakes cause I knew you liked them. 💕

I think I’m falling in love with you. 😢💕

I wish I’d never met you 🔪😢💕

I’d feel better if you kissed me. 🔪💕

It’s four o'clock, don’t you think you should fuck off? 🔪💕

It’s New Years. Aren’t we supposed to be making out?  | I don’t love you. 🥃💕

Just marry me already. 🔪💕

Just please be my best friend right now, and not the person I confessed my love to. 😢

Maybe we shouldn’t.  |  You don’t say. 🥃💕 

Not you again…  |   Stop being so cute. 💕

Please don’t let me be alone.  |  Why are you shaking? 🔪😢💕

Stop looking at me like that!  |  Well. Yell, scream, say something, anything. 🥃💕

That’s starting to get annoying. |  I need a place to stay. 💕

This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us. |  Please look at me. 😢

Want to come inside? 🍑😢💕

Well, what did you expect would happen when you’re walking alone at night?  |  Come on, let’s get you away from that creep. 💕

What is this? Is this what i think it is? 💕

You deserve better than me. 🍑💕😢 

You’re cute when you’re angry.  |  Are you flirting with me? 💕

You’re wrong and I’ll prove it. |  I think you’re just afraid to be happy. 🥃😢💕

[Choked up] I thought I lost you. | [Choked up] I never thought I’d see you again. 😢💕

Would include

Agent Whiskey trying to seduce you but you being oblivious 💕

Sexually teasing Agent Whiskey 🔥

If you want me to add (or take out) your piece of writing send me a message, ask (I won’t answer it publicly if you don’t want to 🤫) or something 😋

If I missed warnings/mentions/keys or you think that they’re wrong, tell me 😊

Remember to show love to the authors of these amazing works! ✨

Pedro Catfish Javier Marcus Max Oberyn

[flippingeggsy]

thank u darling for including some of my work <3 !!

[flippingeggsy]

farewell <3

hello everybody. happy new year to you all (it's not new year quite in england though, but it's close).

this is an important update (if anyone cares lol) but im going on a hiatus from writing, maybe for a couple months, maybe a year. im sorry, im so sorry but im not motivated to write anymore. i need to focus on myself and my work for school. im sorry this sounds so selfish but i hope you all understand. im sorry if you requested anything, but make sure to drop your requests to other writers, im sure they'd love them and write them better than i could! <3

im not sure if I'll come back to this blog and post writing. but thank you for 1.8k followers. thank you for all the love and support, it's been amazing over the past year and a bit. you're all amazing.

i'll see you soon. love to all. hope 2019 treats you right.

- a 💖

[coffin-promptsoriginal]

Day 19 🎄🤶

You know what, next time you break into my house and try search for something - please do close the fucking fridge.

“We exploded it controlled.” “She shot it. Missed twice even before hitting.”

And now if you look close enough you can almost spot an annoying bastard just few feet away.

I cannot play tennis, and don’t really want to, but I sure as hell can watch it.

Do not lie to my grandmother again, motherfucker.

You just called me six different names, what the fuck.

Never knew you could put too much cheese into this, but this definitely way too much.

I’m just trying out new judgemental looks at him.

Let me make this clear: I don’t like you. There is barely anything to even start to like you.

“Do not abuse the power that I have given you.” “Wouldn’t dream of it, mom.”

[novellaqueen]

but mom, i don’t wanna be an adult anymore. i wanna be the goblin king. the glitter?? the drama?? that collar?? those eyebrows?? making it impossible for guests to get to my house by putting it in the middle of an actual labyrinth?? i’m perfect for the job

[flippingeggsy]

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

- kingsman masterlist

[danielhowell]

Are you aware of your lesbian cult following?

shoutout to all the incredible lesbians out there we love you keep doin ya thing

[hogwartshousefriends]

Tumblr on Dec 17th

[cryptidmax]

Okay but get this

One of those nostalgiac coming of age 80s stories with a bunch of kids riding around on bikes 

But all girls

[flippingeggsy]

i was tagged by the lovely @kingsmanstories <3

v basic game: answer 15 questions, tag 15 mutuals/followers/people (if u want)

are you named after someone? aha no

when was the last time you cried? like three hours ago because of my bloody drama monologue

do you have kids? no (do my cats count?)

do you use sarcasm a lot? omg no im awful jesus

what's the first thing you notice about people? probably their facial features - not in a judgemental way, i like studying people's faces. especially if someone has freckles then i will notice them instantly. also hands. i like hands - not in a weird way!!

what's your eye colour? green

scary movies or happy endings? happy ending yes pls

any special talents? crying for like three hours straight???

where were you born? england!!

what are your hobbies? reading, playing piano, song writing

do you have any pets? yes three cats and two kittens

how tall are you? 5'6"

what sports do you play/have played? none, don't find sport that interesting tbh.

favourite subject at school? at gcse it was history. now at a level it's media studies.

dream job? teach english in either japan or south korea. or work in paris somewhere (hopefully studying there soon!!)

i tag @eggsyunwinftw ( miss you so much!) and anyone else who wants to do it lmao <3

[tokijin-deactivated20170926]

[chinesegook]

I reblogged this once and found $999 on the floor.

Reblog the Money Susie and you’ll have money coming your way too 💵💵

[mareya]

Holy shit I just won the lottery this really works

[tomblogger]

How do you find $999 on the floor?

[chinesegook]

I Reblogged The Money Susie Thats How .

[iwiazumi-deactivated20150910]

DO NOT!!! SCROLL PAST!!! THIS!! REALLY!! WORKS!! i didnt really believe in things like these but when i saw it on my dash i thought, well, why not, ive really been needing money for the new game i want to buy anyway. and i hit reblog. the next day my mom gave me $100 in CASH and when i asked her why she said that she just felt like increasing my allowance!!i dont know if shes going to keep on giving me $100 allowance so im reblogging again just to make sure

[coolcud]

Fuck it

[spiderkiths-remade-deactivated2]

Does it work?!!! Or is it a fraud?!

[tokijin-deactivated20170926]

Those Who Question The Money Susie Will Suffer 500 Million Years Of Debt

[daringdraconicdeity]

The real question is why the heck she stuffed money up her nose do you hAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THAT’S BEEN?

[tokijin-deactivated20170926]

[kittensinswimmingpool-blog]

Hi

[virtueofjoy-blog]

Wtf why does this work???

[jessyulrich]

I need some money so….

[flippingeggsy]

im broke help me

[jimprideauxs]

Kenny Stowton in Killing Eve S01E05: I Have a Thing About Bathrooms

[flippingeggsy]

he's so cute wtf

[jimprideauxs]

Kenny Stowton in Killing Eve S01E08: God I’m Tired

[johnil-deactivated20210120]

irregular office johnny

[flippingeggsy]

OH MY GOD

[staci-pratt]

Person: It’s bad to love a villain

Me, who has a reputation of loving villains:

[flippingeggsy]

safe

pairing: harry hart x reader/whiskey x reader

request: Hiii! Love your're work!! 😍 can I get a Harry x Whiskey x Reader Imagine? The reader is fighting her Ex-boyfriend Whiskey in Poppy's diner while Eggsy, Harry (Reader's love interest) and Merlin (What Landmine!? Lol) are outside having a shootout with Poppy's goons. The men hear screams and gunshots coming from the diner and are shocked by what they find...The Reader covered in Whiskeys blood and in Shock- with Whiskey dead next to her. Nothing gory, just a post-mission comfort, fluff-fest

warning: swearing ,, angst ,, death

( a/n: this turned more angsty than i thought. also i got really into the fight scene...)

with a gun in your hand, you ran straight to the diner alongside merlin to help harry and eggsy deal with whiskey who was holding them both at gunpoint. they all knew that you were really the only person to be able to deal with whiskey.

whiskey’s head turned as he heard someone enter the diner. he wasn’t overly worried as he saw it was you because he believed that you wouldn’t do anything to him despite him being your ex-boyfriend.

a chuckle left whiskey’s lips as he turned back around to the two men he held captive in front of him. however, you weren’t having any of it. he wasn’t going to hurt the two men you had grown fond of over the past few weeks - especially harry.

“whiskey let them go” you spoke softly as you moved to stand in front of him.

“get out my way, doll” he replied sounding bored, although he knew what you were capable of doing. the way he said ‘doll’, caused you to tense up a little in anger. of course you were still angry over what he did to you, but you couldn’t let that affect you.millions of people’s lives were at risk.

“no. let them go. just me and you” you said. you watched as whiskey’s face changed a little bit and he lowered his guns, seeming very annoyed.

“y/n-” eggsy went to speak but you turned around to face him, giving him a small smile.

“I’ll be fine. just go” both eggsy and harry did what you said, and walked out the diner to help merlin who was outside fighting poppy’s agents.

as soon as you turned back around, whiskey started pushing you towards the counter of the diner. he stopped as soon as you hit the counter, and he leaned over you, his left arm standing on the counter as his other hand went to the side of your face.

“jack-” you began to say, hating the way he held your cheek like he used to when the two of you were together, but that was before he ruined everything.

“i knew you wouldn’t stay away from me, doll” he whispered, his face close to yours.

anger swam through your body, and in a rage, you lifted your leg and kicked him off you. he fell back, and groaned as he stumbled a little. his face instantly flicked upwards, and anger was evident in his eyes, but honestly, you no longer cared at all. he was no longer part of your life.

“you wish” you spoke, staring him dead in the eye. “you know, you made my life a living hell all those months we were together. even after all those girls, i stayed with you, but you still fucked me over. this is for you”

you lifted your gun up at him, and as you went to fire, he sprung up and ran for your arm. he pinned you down on the counter, and grabbed the gun out of your hand, throwing it across the diner somewhere.

with force, you pushed him off you and quickly pulled yourself over to the other side of the counter. he caught himself, and quickly pulled out his lasso, throwing it around himself before throwing it towards you. you ducked, and hastily jumped back over the counter, running towards whiskey.

he threw his lasso towards you again, and you jumped through the hole, surprising whiskey. as you landed on the floor, you stuck out your leg, tripping him over, and you grabbed the gun that fell out of his pocket.

as he knelt on the floor momentarily, you kicked him the chess harshly however before you could run off, he grabbed your leg and pulled you back down to the ground. he pinned both of your hands down with one of his, as his other hand went to grab his gun, you headbutted him in the nose.

in his moment of weakness, you managed to get up and once again, kick him straight in the nose before you ran over to the case. as you got to it, you pushed it over the otherside of the counter in effort to sort of hide it away.

suddenly, there were arms around you and a knife against your neck - he got up a lot quicker than you thought he would. as you struggled in his arms, his knife began to leave little cuts on your neck, “you’re not going to win. give up, darlin’” he spoke in your ear, his breath hot against your neck.

you began to restrain his hold on you, “you wish” you repeated, before you sprang your legs on to the side of the counter, and flipped yourself out of his grip, and over his head. before he could comprehend what happened, you were standing behind him, holding a gun at his body.

“fuck you” you whispered and you pulled the trigger. whiskey let out a loud curse, but before he fell to the ground, he turned around to you.

the blood stain that he had on his shirt was getting bigger, and he clutched it, “you bitch” he swore, and then fell to the ground. seconds passed and you knew he had died but it felt weird. sure, you hated him for what he did but you never thought that you would shoot him.

all the adrenaline of fighting you had, suddenly disappeared and a massive wave of guilt hit you. you knelt down to his body, and your hands accidentally touched his blood that was pooling on the ground from his body.

as you sat on the ground, you heard footsteps run into the diner.

“y/n, are you okay?” eggsy asked as he ran over to you, and knelt beside you.

meanwhile merlin ran off to find the case, and harry stood watching you, noticing the blood staining your hands.

“i shot him” you whispered with tears clouding your eyes, “i-i actually shot him”

“But y/n, you’ve saved loads of people’s lives. you should be proud of yourself” eggsy whispered in order to try and help you, but you only nodded in response.

eggsy helped you stand up gently, before he went over to merlin to help him, noticing that you would probably want to talk to harry rather than him.

harry moved closer to you, as you just stood and stared at the blood on your hands. your eyes flickered up to harry, before you gently put your arms around him and squeezed your eyes shut. harry let out a small sigh and hugged your back, with one of his hands resting on your hair.

harry softly placed a kiss to the side of your head, as the two of you stood like that for a long time, but that's where you felt the most safest. and on your journey back to the statesmen base, he sat with you, and gently helped clean the blood off of you.

you knew it was going to take time to get over what you did, but with harry by your side, you knew that everything was going to be okay.

[flippingeggsy]

may I request Headcannons for being on a undercover mission with Harry, where the reader and him have to act like a married couple and the reader is a bit to comfy with it, meaning like walking around in underwear/towel after shower? Something that makes Harry nervous? Ps: Love your creativity with all the headcanons! ♡

a/n: thank you!

so you and harry have pretended to be a couple before, so you two are much more comfortable with the idea then beforehand

however harry is still a little bit uncertain on how to act in a ‘relationship’ as he has never been in a proper one before

fast forward to the actual mission,,,

so in order to seem like an actual married couple, you to have to share a hotel room which isn’t the end of the world,,,

and to be honest, you’re quite comfortable around harry as he has been your friend for a long time now

so you walk around in your underwear multiple times 

and harry has to advert his eyes as he calls himself a ‘gentleman’ but it always makes him nervous

it makes him nervous cause he’s never really seen any person like that before other than himself,,,

and he’s also nervous af because he thinks you’re beautiful

also he may or may not have a small thing for you so that makes him extra nervous

one time you come out the shower with just a towel wrapped around you because you’ve forgotten something

and harry’s just on the bed reading his book 

he looks up and he’s like ‘oof’

and you’re just minding your own business ,, humming to yourself and such

harry can’t help but admire your body ,,, cause damn

and once you go back into the bathroom, harry lets out a small breath and rubs his face

he’s so confused and conflicted. he’s never realised how strongly he felt for you,,,,

[flippingeggsy]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a headcannon for Harry from Kingsman when their S/O felt scared to sleep alone so they sneak into their room for comfort?

this got a bit darker than intended, sorry!

okay so,,,

you and harry are on a mission, and its the first mission you two are going on as an actual couple

however, where you are staying, merlin makes you have different rooms because you two are not suppose to be a couple on this mission

so after it becomes late, you say goodnight to your boyfriend before going into your hotel room

and you get ready for bed and you climb in

the clock turns to almost twelve am and you’re still not asleep

its the first time you’ve slept on your own for a while

and often when you sleep on your own, you get really bad dreams about past missions that have gone horribly wrong and things like that

after another half hour goes by, you feel yourself getting too scared to sleep as you don’t want to have the bad dreams again as you haven’t had them in a while

after much hesitation, you get out of bed and out your room, and you knock on harry’s door lightly before opening it

harry knows that you won’t sleep alone, so he leaves the door unlocked because he knows you’ll eventually come in

you lock the door, before taking off your robe and you climb into bed with harry who is sitting up, reading a book - almost like he is waiting for you (which he is)

so harry puts his book away, turns off the lamp before laying down

and there’s a small smile on your face as you place your head on his chest and his arms wrap around you

and he places a soft kiss on your forehead, letting you know you can sleep peacefully

and you mutter something like “im sorry its stupid that im scared of sleeping on my own but-”

and harry replies with “there’s nothing to be sorry about darling”

and the smile on your face gets bigger

harry kisses you softly before you both go to sleep

and you don’t have any bad dreams and your fears have subsided