I finally locked in and tried grayscale,, it's great but sooo time consuming to me (mayb I'm just doing it wrong tho) and I think some of the values got lost along the rendering??
Someone hear me out on Francis Forever by Mitski being the perfect song to encapsulate Jean Loo's relationship with himself post!realization (or how I view it atleast xp)
Maybe at first when he started going downhill he would hate himself. Shutting off the radio whenever one of his songs played. Shoving his old clothes away in a box. Keeping his Porcelain awards hidden away. Glowering at any posters of himself he sees. Anything not to be reminded of his past failures as he heads into the office
But i think over time as he begins to have to adjust to his situation. Fall into a routine of a 9-5, the repetitiveness of it as he mellows out. That slowly, that resentment for his naive self goes away and replaced with a yearning.
I have this image of him where he's sitting by his toilet, slumped with a drink in hand. He's wearing his old gold jacket over his white button up shirt and tie and he's listening to his old music. One after the other and instead of making it stop, looking angry or rolling his eyes he's just quiet and listening. Probably doesn't get up until his last song/snippet finishes.
I don't know what to do without you
I don't know where to put my hands
I've been trying to lay my head down
But I'm writing this at 3 a.m.
Coz back in the house he was really self-assured. Like sure yeah it's most def a very exaggerated persona to ignore the fact he's a toilet but I also think he really believed in himself. Yeah it sucks that everyone disliked it but he didn't seem to mind. Even when the player tells him that certain things he says won't be taken well he doesn't care and does it regardless. Why? Because he wants to do that.
And he'd miss that.
I don't need the world to see
That I've been the best I can be, but
I don't think I could stand to be
Where you don't see me
That despite everything. How it was his stupid choices and naiveity that led him down this path. Putting too much stock into his exagerrated dreams and not having a proper back up plan at all (Rap was his ONLY!!! hobby!!!) that he took whatever was the most convenient at the time landing him to the misery he's in now, that he probably still wants to go back to that.
That he still probably writes down lyrics, mutters them back to himself. When he's listening to the radio he's drumming his fingers against the table, perfectly following the beat and still inspired by different artist.
On sunny days, I go out walking
I end up on a tree-lined street
I look up at the gaps of sunlight
I miss you more than anything
The idea that he could try again but instead he can't bring himself to try and is stuck just remembering who he used to be. Knows that it's still there coz theres no way that such an integral part of who he was gets to disappear but he can't. Not when he knows how hard the music industry is and how much harder the world is when it goes from 100+ people too 8 billion. Yet even with the fact he misses it more than anything.
I don't think he could ever hate who he was. Just only ever feel that he betrayed his past self and wishes he did himself more justice. And knows that whatever disappointment he may feel for his past self, that it could never measure to the amount of disappointment his past self would feel for current him.
I don't need the world to see
That I've been the best I can be, but
I don't think I could stand to be
Where you don't see me
And autumn comes when you're not yet done
With the summer passing by, but
I don't think I could stand to be
Where you don't see me
Someone hear me out on Francis Forever by Mitski being the perfect song to encapsulate Jean Loo's relationship with himself post!realization (or how I view it atleast xp)
Maybe at first when he started going downhill he would hate himself. Shutting off the radio whenever one of his songs played. Shoving his old clothes away in a box. Keeping his Porcelain awards hidden away. Glowering at any posters of himself he sees. Anything not to be reminded of his past failures as he heads into the office
But i think over time as he begins to have to adjust to his situation. Fall into a routine of a 9-5, the repetitiveness of it as he mellows out. That slowly, that resentment for his naive self goes away and replaced with a yearning.
I have this image of him where he's sitting by his toilet, slumped with a drink in hand. He's wearing his old gold jacket over his white button up shirt and tie and he's listening to his old music. One after the other and instead of making it stop, looking angry or rolling his eyes he's just quiet and listening. Probably doesn't get up until his last song/snippet finishes.
I don't know what to do without you
I don't know where to put my hands
I've been trying to lay my head down
But I'm writing this at 3 a.m.
Coz back in the house he was really self-assured. Like sure yeah it's most def a very exaggerated persona to ignore the fact he's a toilet but I also think he really believed in himself. Yeah it sucks that everyone disliked it but he didn't seem to mind. Even when the player tells him that certain things he says won't be taken well he doesn't care and does it regardless. Why? Because he wants to do that.
And he'd miss that.
I don't need the world to see
That I've been the best I can be, but
I don't think I could stand to be
Where you don't see me
That despite everything. How it was his stupid choices and naiveity that led him down this path. Putting too much stock into his exagerrated dreams and not having a proper back up plan at all (Rap was his ONLY!!! hobby!!!) that he took whatever was the most convenient at the time landing him to the misery he's in now, that he probably still wants to go back to that.
That he still probably writes down lyrics, mutters them back to himself. When he's listening to the radio he's drumming his fingers against the table, perfectly following the beat and still inspired by different artist.
On sunny days, I go out walking
I end up on a tree-lined street
I look up at the gaps of sunlight
I miss you more than anything
The idea that he could try again but instead he can't bring himself to try and is stuck just remembering who he used to be. Knows that it's still there coz theres no way that such an integral part of who he was gets to disappear but he can't. Not when he knows how hard the music industry is and how much harder the world is when it goes from 100+ people too 8 billion. Yet even with the fact he misses it more than anything.
I don't think he could ever hate who he was. Just only ever feel that he betrayed his past self and wishes he did himself more justice. And knows that whatever disappointment he may feel for his past self, that it could never measure to the amount of disappointment his past self would feel for current him.
I don't need the world to see
That I've been the best I can be, but
I don't think I could stand to be
Where you don't see me
And autumn comes when you're not yet done
With the summer passing by, but
I don't think I could stand to be
Where you don't see me
I loveee when he's studied more in-depth than what we see in the game since, as I saw someone mention, not getting to be what he wanted in life makes him feel so much more human in a way,,,
humanity comes with failure, disappointment and sometimes more lows than highs; it's a given.
that makes room for soooo much potential for Jean Loo. I mean, his canon ending gives us many possibilities to explore his persona in different settings and paths, including his relationship with himself and how it may change through experiences and time.
I can't describe how much I like the way this work took it, the writing + the song choice really puts down how he feels, that deep regret of not being up to his own expectations, missing the person he once was.. </3
Planning out a fic and figured I’d share my thoughts on what I think happened to him going from Lil’ Crapper (realised) to Accountant!Loo and my General HC surrounding that pipeline
Coz I want to think he did get get around to being in the music industry. He has his porcelain awards in his lil cubicle!!! Two of them!! So what the fuck happened???
Tho I’ve always entertained the idea that maybe those awards weren’t actually, like, valid or real awards.
More under cut tho coz i’m abt to yap LOL
Be warned x9
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Firstly, I feel like he started off on social media ofc. Doja cat style.
Yeah he sent some Demos to labels/talent groups but no one really called him back so he just starts uploading on social media. Maybe inspired by the others
Posted a few vids/songs collabs and badgered the group chat (yes they have a gc fight me) to like his shit coz come on. Easy 100 or so likes to get the ball rolling (probably badgered the other influencer-realised!objects to promote him) (they probs didn’t) but what really got him going was his version of ‘Moo’.
A complete joke of a song he made at like 3am coz he got bored. Didn’t expect it too hit off but whatever, it’s got some bars might as well and the internet eats it up. It’s his first hit! Then ppl realized he had more samples and started digging those too and he rides the fuck out of this high.
A mix of Flyana Boss’s + Lil Nas ‘Old Town Road’ style of promoting himself. Remixing his song a bunch of times and getting others to collab with him as well as making connections with Videographer’s to make sick videos that definitely catch’s people’s attention for seven seconds. Like yeah he’s an annoying white guy but the internet loves an annoying white guy. It’s part of the charm + his has a French accent.
Then there’s even vid of him rap battling ppl i public. Like come on. Those are sick af
So when he gets big enough he produces smthing a bit more serious. This is where I think his porcelain awards come to play. As well as all the dissing + just his general cockiness.
I feel like the porcelain awards were props he made for a vid/song discussing the current state of the rap/music world. That they’re parodies of the awards handed out at music aware events, but in his diss track he disses other artist for selling themselves to the machine. Creating actual ‘crap’ and not cool rap and so the awards given out aren’t really valuable. Coz u know, he wasn’t born human and so he believes him as an artist offers a different perspective. That this human music he entered in is trash, not good, but dw he is here drop some real heat. Just criticising the lack of soul in current music and how the industry promotes that over real heart and lyricism.
Another white man has hit a controversy!!!
Again he goes viral but it’s a complete 50/50 shit show. His fans love it! I like to even think the awards in his cubicles are actually recreation of the ones he used in his video. Like genuine recreation to give him an award for his ballsiness. But ofc there’s others who hate him for it. Talking about how this guy gets one viral hit and all of a sudden he knows what he’s talking about and twisting his intentions, that he’s just attacking other artist when it’s the industry he was truly dissing. But attention is attention
And I liked to think he would do this coz he takes his craft seriously. Like u literally get his hate ending if u fuck up too many times. He cares about his craft and yeah ik the gag is that he uses frat and toilet humour in his music but he also raps abt real stuff too. Like it’s canon he has a bunch of trivia knowledge so yeah,,, and he’s just a smartass in general. U know he deffo got into twitter beef or even live beef dissing ppl LMFAOOOOO
So despite the heat on his name he keeps going, expecting the ones who get it to get it. But i feel like he got overbearing. That he got to serious, too risky, that ppl started losing his faith in him and that’s when stuff really goes down for him.
The 50/50 split changes to a 40/60 with ppl getting tired of his preachy/self righteous lyrics. That he’s just rage baiting atp and that’s no good (Also probably more political topics too outside of the music industry but those don’t get enough attention either). I feel like he atleast had a manager at this time or even a producer friend (i don’t think he’d be with a label coz u know. He literally dissed the entire industry so he’d be an independent artist) so when this starts happening the panic and force him write something more lighthearted. Like his first hit! Ppl like that! Come on we know u have it in u.
But that was some 3am bullshit he made coz he was bored. That’s not real music! That would go against what he’s been trying to say! But the hate keeps building up and his crew are stressing out so he gives in. And again he goes internet viral.
It’s fun. It’s funny. It’s decently catchy and you can make a silly TikTak trend out of it!! His crew probably even books him interviews, podcast/radio shows, to help clear his image. Prove that he’s not a risk, His popularity goes back to a 50/50 but others call him washed up and point out he’s going against his messages which make him lose those genuine fans he had.
Basically the crux of my whole idea is that he isn’t taken seriously as an artist. That when he tries too be real ppl hate him for it. That they miss his soulless shitty music and don’t hear what he actually has to say. And his crew don’t want to work with someone who’s a risk.
That the issue was he did all this shit talking when he wasn’t even properly established as an artist. That he just came in swinging (started off with a joke song btw) and ppl didn’t appreciate that. Certainly not the actual industry. Coz how would he know? He’s just a small fish trying to play with the big fish. Where’s his merit or credit?
I like to think that in one of these interviews to help his image he just snaps and calls it all bullshit causing a whole scene. Even better if it’s a live podcast or it’s leaked out. Cheap paparazzi images taking pics of his crash out and exploding the whole thing.
So he begins to question himself.
He was so ready to make a change. Make his mark on the world but everyone treats him like a joke. Can’t see past the bullshit he first displayed.
Which sort of mirrors his life when he was back in the house. When he was a toilet and none of the other dateables took his rapping seriously. He was just annoying but it’s okay coz whatever right? These idiots don’t get it but when he’s human the humans will! But they don’t in the end.
Ofc him and his team try again. Even after his crash out he still tries. Even stays firm and says he wants to continue his serious stuff but you’ve only got 15 minutes of fame on the internet so the views drop. His newer stuff doesn’t get likes like it used to and there’s newer talent being promoted.
His team make him consider to do another hit, something fun again but he just can’t. He doesn’t want even want to consider that if he tries a third time his shitty music would get popular again. That it would truly prove that his music is seen as a joke and nothing more. That he will be nothing more than a joke again in his second life.
And so he silently quits.
No one really notices it when he does. He doesn’t state he officially quits but he stops bothering to post. His team leave him coz they can’t help an artist who isn’t making anything. He’s not trending anymore so why bother keeping up with him? His departure is an afterthought. Maybe later down the line he’ll get video essays of ppl asking “what happened to Lil’ Crapper?” “Lil’ Crapper or Lil’ Flush? The rapper who went too far down the drain”. But right now he still has bills to pay, e needs to eat and a roof above his head. He can only earn so much through residuals.
Maybe he goes to community college. Gets a degree and/or one of his friends gives him connections to work an office job and somehow he makes his way as an accountant. Filing people’s taxes pays the bills and at least he wears a suit and tie. It’s respectable enough. He gets called Mr Pissoir.
He doesn’t even get to leave on a high note. He just becomes forgotten and just has wake up the next day to go to work again and again and again.
But at least he saved his integrity, right?
He probably stopped texting the player/the others somewhere around the time he was being dealt with controversy after contreversy not just when he became an Accountant. Too busy responding to those to maintain his true connections and when he has the time to do so it’s been too long to send a message back so he decides not to. And if he did he’d be texting them back as an Accountant… Yeah no dice.
He doesn’t need anyone else to see how badly he’s fucked up his life in just a year in comparison to their lives.
And even tho he works an office job now he still keeps his Porcelain awards hung up. The one he was given as a gift. It’s sort of a slap in the face seeing that as the first thing he sees when he walks into his cubicle but he has to admit it’s well made and it’d be rude to throw it away right… It’s a bitter memory of who he was but he hasn’t been told to take it down yet so whatever.
But yeah those r my thoughts. That’s it!
I’m not gonna tag but @/Flopifalopi mentioned hc’ing him being:
“totally depressed after getting recognition for a while only to end up forgotten. Like. If he hadn't gotten to live his dream he could still pursue it— but he DID get what he wanted only for it to not be enough in the end, forced to settle with what he has,, and that's worse in my opinion)”
and i agreed deeply which spiralled into this LOL especially that second part
I like to think he visits the aquarium sometimes and is always amazed at what he sees, no matter how many times he's been there.
It makes his days a little brighter.
Lil rant below cut
why is the quality fucked…
HELLO DATE EVERYTHING FANDOM HELLO HIII
ok first of all ignore the inconsistency in everything, esp Jean's face. It's the first time I've drawn him and I got lazy and tired of his ass. I owe him a study sometime
Expect to see more of him bc I love this man SO MUCH,,, even though he's french.oughhgughh💔