So...What ACTUALLY Do You Do?? A Series of Blogs Pt.2
Written by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez
Remember me. Though I have to say goodbye Remember me Don't let it make you cry For ever if I'm far away...
With a change from the billed blog, I thought today that I'd touch on another service that I offer...
In this, the most unprecedented period of peacetime upheaval we will probably ever experience in the Western Hemisphere... (at least... unless there really is a zombie apocalypse approaching....and let’s face it...right now ANYTHING is possible!) we humans more than ever right now, need to take some form of solace in the things we always turn to in times of need... and that is RITUAL.
I work in the wedding industry predominantly as you all know, but as this virus swiftly takes hold, across our nation and indeed across the globe, the wedding day ritual as we know it is likely to become increasing impossible to deliver. Mass gatherings are soon to be banned and we are all advised to practice social distancing, no shaking of hands, hugging or kissing to avoid cross contamination.
We’re likely to see an increase in micro ceremonies, but only for a short while, as things shut down for a period, but hey ...that’s not what I'm here to talk about today...
I’m here to talk about a completely different ceremony, one that I think can hold equal, if not more importance when it comes to ritual. The Memorial Ceremony
HOW CAN WE SAY GOODBYE TO OUR LOVED ONE?
From personal experience, I know how very important being able to say that last goodbye is, to be able to hold hands with family members, cry and hug, sing and remember. And it shouldn't matter if it is a large gathering or a small one, we all need that point of closure right?
I also know that half an hour, 40 minutes, an hour isn't always long enough, and that you can feel like you're on a bit of a conveyor belt especially at the crem...it feels like you're in and out and forever watching the clock to avoid the late running fine...yes...THEY DO fine you in you go over the allotted time slot.
Urgh...that’s no way to say a decent goodbye to anyone! Wouldn't you much rather spend the day, or as long as you'd , somewhere comforting where you can say as much as you want in the exact way that you want, remember and honour your loved one, just as they might have requested?
We don't all fit into that ‘square hole’ in life why should we in death?
If your loved one has not elected a church service and committal, or a natural outdoor burial, or one of the other myriad of ways of letting go of their mortal remains... a direct cremation might be the right route for your unconventional soul to take. The modern alternative to a traditional cremation funeral. The cremation takes place completely separately to the personal farewell. Perfect for people who don’t like funerals, and perfect for these uncertain times.
And, lets face it, even if you have already held a feral ceremony, but it was lacking in some way, you can still hold a memorial ceremony to ensure your needs and the way you say goodbye are actually met.
A life well lived deserves recognition and your loved one a send off with no restrictions on time or location. You can hold this ceremony anywhere you (or your loved one) wishes; from a back garden to a favourite holiday destination, on the beach or halfway up a mountain! It is your opportunity to really honour that well-lived life at your own pace.
When YOU are ready, and the time feels right, this might be the perfect way for you to pay your respects.
As with any ceremony, there is no right or wrong way to do this, religion can be included if you’d like; symbolic elements, music and song...for sure, bring them back to life with the way you choose to honour them...
MY GREAT UNCLE WAS A VERY SIMPLISTIC MAN...
He wanted a direct cremation when he died and for his ashes to then be sprinkled underneath the oak trees he loved so much in his garden.
For those reading this, a direct cremation involves being taken from the place of rest directly to the crematorium by the funeral director who then returns the ashes to you a few days later. No service is held at the time.
This was the difficult part because I wanted to provide a service of some type for my family whilst respecting the wishes of my late great uncle.
After seeing that you had won the regional celebrant award, I contacted you not knowing where to start.
I cannot thank you enough for the time and advice you gave to me and am so pleased that you said yes to doing the reading despite only ever having done weddings!
I wanted to celebrate the life of my late great uncle, and you managed to do this perfectly!!
Being the difficult person that he was and with the very limited information I was able to provide, this was not an easy task for you, but somehow you were able to bring his true character to life and convey this in such a way that it brought levity and comfort to family and friends on what was an emotional day for all.
You have a special gift Michelle and your intuitive nature enabled you to create and deliver a reading that captured my late great uncles personality to a tee.
Thank you once again for the fantastic memorial ceremony and the scattering of Jim’s ashes that you performed yesterday.
With very little material, for a man who had led a very insular life, you managed to build an amazing eulogy. It was funny, light hearted and sincere all in one.
You are a truly gifted lady and your name and unique skill will be the topic of conversations with our friends and associates in many days to come.
Yesterday followed the direct cremation of Jim and the two events provided the ideal final chapter to our friend’s life and one which would have met with his approval.
MY MUM PASSED AWAY IN MAY...
and had decided on a direct cremation without a service. I wanted to hold a celebration of life service and after much research chose Michelle.
She came to my house to find out all about mum. She then did her own research about when and where mum was born.
Michelle also asked for a list of mum’s favourite songs as she would bring her music system to the service.
We had decided to have the service on the beach to scatter the ashes and then on to the Weeley Bowling Green for a buffet and drink as they have a lovely back room.
On the day of the service the heavens opened so we decided to have the service at the pub rather than the beach. Michelle was fine with this even at short notice. She was waiting at the pub when we arrived and she looked so glamorous! She helped arranged chairs and where pictures should go.
She then did the most amazing personal speech about my mum! About her life, her loves, her likes dislikes. My mum would of loved it.
She then played mum’s songs and chatted to all of the guests.
Later the sun came out so we all went off to the beach to scatter mum’s ashes.
Thank you Michelle for making mum’s day amazing.
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