< five/lila, trans fem five > :: I wish I was a normal girl (how do I be? how do I be your lady?) — five comes out mid apocalypse and lila helps her with her transition the best she can under the circumstances, falling in love with her in the process
ao3 link | moodboard link
< trans fem five headcanons >
< link to fivela week 2024 masterlist >
…ꗃ . pjo creations ﾟ⊹
< percy jackson/luke castellan > :: when I lay with you, I could stay there, close my eyes, feel you here forever— percy shares one last moment with luke during the battle of manhattan
ao3 link | tumblr link
< percy jackson/luke castellan > :: you come crawling back to me, but I’m already on the ground — percy’s high and calls out for luke, not expecting the man to actually show up
ao3 link | tumblr link
< percy jackson/luke castellan > :: you’ll go to war, I’ll go missing — percy left the war behind a long while ago, but what happens when it’s leader comes knocking on his door?
ao3 link | tumblr link
moodboards: cowboy lukercy | cowboy percy | cowboy luke
…ꗃ . tsitp creations ﾟ⊹
❦ < belly conklin/conrad fisher > :: I’m thinkin’ you and I better just go with the flow — belly and conrad are high again and find a bottle of wine, it devolves from there
[ID: A drawing of Percy, Nico, Luke, and Thalia from Percy Jackson and The Olympians playing chicken. Thalia is sitting on Luke's shoulders and Nico is sitting on Percy's; Thalia and Luke are winning, and Nico and Percy are about to fall into the water. End ID.]
A commission for @strawberryraccoontails. It's been a while since I last drew these characters; it was really nice to revisit them!
oh my gods they did such an amazing job!! it came out perfect and the little details are everything to me!! thank you so much red for your amazing work - if anyone is looking for someone to commission from please please please check them out, they’re so sweet to talk to and clearly put care into their work!
:: I’m thinkin’ you and I better just go with the flow — belly and conrad are high again and find a bottle of wine, it devolves from there
tags :: canon divergence, trans (ftm) belly conklin, he/him pronouns for belly, drugs & alcohol, smut, gender dysphoria, praise kink, degradation kink, the cousins house tm, title from a the neighborhood song
ao3 link | explicit | word count: 1.2k+
It started with weed, and doesn’t it always? Isn’t that what they say? Weed is a gateway drug. Stay away from the devils lettuce or it’ll turn into something stronger.
That’s what they taught in the preppy Massachusetts schools they both went to, a D.A.R.E program midway through middle school that had Belly and Conrad raising their right hands with a promise to stay away from drugs and alcohol. Ha. If only those stupid cops could see them now.
Belly’s splayed across Conrad’s bed with his arms up over his head and a tired grin on his face. Conrad’s next to him, head lolled over his hands, some music playing lowly from his phone over on the nightstand, and the window cracked so the sea breeze can come in.
“What time is it?” Conrad shrugs. Who knows, who cares.
They’ve been here for hours. It was early this morning when the first argument between Bell and Laurel started and not long afterwards did he come to hide away in Conrad’s room. They’ve taken at least half the prescription he got filled yesterday.
“I wish we had alcohol.” They made the mistake of sharing their limited supply with Jeremiah and Steven so those idiots wouldn’t rat them out but now they’ve run dry. Conrad was planning on stopping at a liquor store earlier today, but that was before Bell climbed into his bed without clothes on.
“I can text Steven, see if he’ll help us.” Belly goes to reach for his phone but he’s pretty sure it slid to the floor when they were fucking. Or maybe afterwards. He can’t remember.
“You think the mom’s left yet?” They’ve been going out more- probably running from their disappointing children.
“I saw the headlights pull out a little while ago. Wanna go see if they left wine unattended?” Conrad smiles and nods along as he helps Belly stand upright.
It’s still a little weird to see Belly wearing boxers and one of Conrad’s shirts when he was used to frilly panties and a matching bra but he likes the change. Bell seems more comfortable and isn’t constantly trying to cover his body up with anything he can grab, even without the drugs. By the end of things, right before Bell finally came out, he was popping so many pills just to function properly Conrad thought he’d overdose just by fucking existing.
And maybe that should deter him from partaking in these self destructive activities with Belly, but it doesn’t. He’d say he believes it’ll all turn out okay but that’s not really it- he just knows he’d rather be with Bell during it all than have him feel as alone as he did. Conrad nearly broke hearing him confess to that.
“Score.” Belly laughs, picking up a half drunk bottle of red left next to the sink. They used to try and water it down or only take a small amount but it doesn’t seem to matter anymore. They’ll be in trouble tomorrow no matter what they really do.
“It’s the shitty stuff.” Must’ve been the last bottle they had. Bell takes a swig anyway and passes it off to Conrad for him to do the same.
It’s easy to sit in silence and just drink, a familiar buzz coming to hinder Conrad’s already distorted senses. Bell got prescribed Xanax before he ever came out and while it worked, he definitely doesn’t need that high of a dose anymore. He just milks it so him and Conrad can take the pills like candy and numb all the bullshit out. If Laurel or Susannah ever found out they’d probably skin them both alive, but hey it’s something to do.
“I wish I had a dick.” Bell says suddenly and Conrad chokes on his sip of wine with a laugh. He can always tell when the drugs or alcohol start to set in cause Bell starts saying insane shit unprompted.
“I know babe.” Because he does. He knows just how painful it is for Belly to be in the body he’s stuck in, he also knows that joking about it is how he copes a lot of the time.
“Would you let me fuck you if I had one?” Another laugh and Conrad passes the bottle over, watching intently how Bell hollows his cheeks when sipping from the glass. Jesus.
“Definitely.” It’s said without thinking and Belly instantly raises an eyebrow. Conrad flushes, he’d blame the alcohol if anyone asked him later.
“Would you suck me off? Y’know, like I do to you.” For a moment Conrad swears time slows down- Bell blinks his long lashes and curls his lips into that grin that drives Conrad up a wall. It’s seductive, sure, but it’s more mischievous than anything else and that’s what draws Conrad in.
“I’d suck you off so much your dick wouldn’t have time to get hard again.” Conrad slides up to where Belly’s sat on the counter, easily slotting between his legs and planting his hands against the cool counter on either side of Bell.
“Could I cum down your throat? Make you swallow it all up for me…” Their lips are mere inches from each others and hot breath mingles between them.
“Absolutely. I’d do anything for you.” No matter how cliche and stupid that may sound, Conrad knows it’s the truth. He’d rather do everything Bell asked than go one second not knowing what he was doing with his life. He’d merge them together if he could, but that might be the drugs talking.
“Then fuck me.” It’s so smooth coming from Belly’s mouth that it nearly brings Conrad to his knees.
The fact that they’ve already fucked once today doesn’t seem to matter as Conrad is so hard his hands shake as he pulls his sweatpants down. Bell merely slides his boxers off in one motion, inching closer to the edge of the counter so Conrad can pick him up by the ass.
Conrad was worried sex would change and be weird after Bell came out as trans, but if anything it’s gotten better. They last longer because rather than it feeling like a chore for Bell, he genuinely enjoys himself and asks for what he wants now. Seeing how Bell’s come into himself has been fucking fantastic for Conrad. Even if he’s not all the way there yet.
“Harder.” Bell groans in Conrad’s ear, hands clawing at his shirt like he wants to tear it off his boyfriend’s skin.
“Fuck I love you.” A bite against Conrad’s neck tells him he’s doing something right.
He keeps the pace up, fucking up into Bell like it’s his job, whispering sweet nothings to him while Belly returns it with harsh words that make Conrad’s inside feel like jello, and forgetting any problem that’s going on right now. The only thing that matters is how good Bell feels.
It’s not long til they both cum.
Conrad makes sure to pull out and finish across Belly’s thigh, Bell swipes his fingers across it and licks it off before calling Conrad a slut. It’d make him weep if his anxiety about other people in the house catching them didn’t hit him like a truck.
“We’re so stupid.” He mutters while truly cleaning Bell’s legs up and helping him slip the discarded boxers back on. Bell shrugs nonchalantly and picks the wine back up.
“Go change, there’s cum on your pants. I’ll clean the counter and then be up.” One last kiss and Conrad listens, looking back to make sure Bella actually takes the disinfectant wipes out of the cabinet under the sink.
Gotta love fics where Luke is dead or dying and he's thinking "Percy will be fine, he's young, he's got a whole life ahead of him, he'll get over this and be the hero the demigods deserve"
Meanwhile Percy: *screaming, crying, heartbroken, literally will never be ok ever again*
Luke, my dude, give yourself some credit, this is some top-tier trauma you're dishing out rn
:: you’ll go to war, I’ll go missing — percy left the war behind a long while ago, but what happens when it’s leader comes knocking on his door?
tags :: canon divergence, aged up characters, cowboy au (kind of), luke’s side winning the war
ao3 link | teen & up | word count: 1.5k+
It wasn’t long after the second length of the war against Olympus started that Percy suddenly disappeared.
At first, people assumed he had joined Luke’s forces as they were growing rapidly anyway, but after nobody spotted him for months that theory died off. Then it was that he died, almost throwing a funeral for him until Grover had been able to provide proof of life. And eventually people gave up on the idea of what ever happened to Percy Jackson. He became this lost hero of sorts- story’s from his youth told around camp fires, cabin three kept clean for his possible return, and even Annabeth had started to move on.
She was the hardest thing to leave behind. Partly because he knew he wouldn’t be there to protect her in battle anymore and partly because she was a big reason why he was leaving in the first place. Too many arguments, too many physical fights, too many failed attempts at a romantic relationship, too many expectations from her - just too much. It was a tough goodbye with her and for a long while afterwards, she’d show up with a new set of reasons to why he should come back to camp and fight again.
It’s been six months since her last visit and Percy doubts she’ll ever return. They’re both too stubborn to be convinced either way. And while logic is almost always on Annabeth’s side, Percy knows she can see his reasoning and can safely assume that’s the only reason she hasn’t drug him back to camp by his arm like a child. Deep down she may understand or even want what he has now. But she’ll never let herself have it and now that Percy has gotten a taste, he can’t go back.
The place he ended up is secluded from nearly everything and cost him nothing aside from a promise to keep the land nice. The old man who was selling his farm and animals was moving down to the east coast to help his daughter with his grandson, a truly nice family. Mr.Leeway he was called, practically throwing the keys of the house to Percy when he saw the only offer he had was from a young twenty year old with nothing but the clothes on his back.
“Oh you’ll be just fine here son, the neighbors are far but nice. I’m not sure where ya come from but I can see the past on your face, just like me at your age, this place will help ya. keep it nice and take care of the animals.”
That was the last time he spoke face to face with Percy. They send post cards with letters attached every month and Percy keeps his collection of Massachusetts cards tacked up in his kitchen to look at every now and then. They sit beside the letters he gets from Grover and Juniper, but they visit more often so there aren’t as many.
It should be soon that they pass through again. Percy’s dusted the spare room upstairs in the farmhouse and planted new flowers in the garden boxes hanging off the wrap around porch just for Juniper. He’ll have to check if his neighbors have any aluminum recycling for Grover to snack on while he’s here- said neighbors are a thirty something year old couple with their two kids who go through soda like it’s air, they’ve never asked what Percy does with the cans and Percy never passes judgement on the amount of sugar the two kids consume.
Just as Percy’s about to head downstairs to make a to-do list for the day, there’s a knock at the door. He swipes his hands down his buttoned up shirt to his worn out jeans before opening it. He isn’t expecting anyone this early and is only in his working clothes to go tend to the animals after breakfast.
“Hello?” The old wood door creaks open so Percy can look through the screen door behind it- not even have had time to prop it open like he usually does in the warmer months to air the house out a bit.
“Percy?” It takes a second for the voice to register in Percy’s head but once it does, his hand flies to his pocket. Despite giving up on the war, his trusty pen/sword still always resides in his front pocket, whether he wants it there or not.
“Luke.” He can’t even believe he’s hearing his voice again. It’s been so long, far too long.
“Can I come in?” And while deep down Percy is sure this is a trap- he takes one long look at Luke’s frame and opens the door.
The blonde appears older than the last time they saw one another. He’s in green cargo pants that don’t look like they’ve seen a washing machine in months, the same goes for his matching button up long sleeve. It’s a stereotypical army outfit minus the camo. Similar to the ones they would wear in the 1950’s with added pockets. Percy wonders if everyone on Luke’s side wears them in battle, and where he even got them?
“Lemonade?” He asks as casually as he can while Luke flops down to the small four chaired table Percy has in the kitchen. The dining room is more of a tool area than a true dining room- turns out Percy’s pretty okay at blacksmith work when he can go slow and not have twenty sets of eyes on him all the time like he did the one time he tried at camp. Luke was there for that, his set of eyes never felt nearly as uncomfortable as the others though.
“Please.” Luke replies, rubbing a hand over his dirt stained face.
He seems tired. The scar still prominent on his face is red and angry, there’s new wounds nearby: a split lip, a gash above his eyebrow that seems barely stuck together with a butterfly stitch, small cuts along his jaw. And his knuckles are split when Percy catches a glimpse of them as he hands the cup of iced lemonade over. He made it last night, for Grover and Juniper, but he sets the pitcher down on the table now. He expects Luke will want more.
“Where’d you come from?” While Percy resides in California and fairly close to where he’s been told Luke’s army resides- he doubts Luke was fighting directly where he lives.
“A beach front down south, nasty battle with your dad.” Shit.
“Are you here to kill me?” Percy asks simply and watches how Luke chokes on the sip of lemonade he was taking. He sputters for a moment before shaking his head and looking wide eyed at Percy.
“No- no- I’d never… I’m here because he was the last one.” A furrow appears in Percy’s brow and he tries to piece together what Luke’s trying to say. He can’t mean the last god left, right? It’d have to be Zeus as the last one.
“Last one?” Luke swallows hard and sets his glass down with a bit too much force. It shakes the already uneven table and his face goes instantly apologetic.
“The last one I’ll be around for.” It only confuses Percy more.
“I’ve handed my command down to Chris, I’ll still be helping from the sideline and keeping tabs but… I’m tired of being in charge all the time. Chris is fierce and excited to keep going, he’ll be a good leader. Your father was the last battle I fought and we won.” We won- Poseidon is dead and gone. Percy lets out an unexpected breath and nods along.
He shouldn’t feel relieved about his dad being dead but he is. Between everything that happened with his mom and his own leaving- Percy’s glad to basically have no more family. Aside from Grover, Juniper, and Nico, but Hades knows where Nico even is at this point and Grover was always family even before everything went downhill.
“Is this a death notification then?” Percy’s had to make more than one of those for campers that were lost due to over expectant quests and undertrained kids, he’ll never quite scrub the image of their mortal parents faces from his mind.
“No, kind of, but that’s not the only reason I’m here.” The glass of lemonade is finished in one gulp and Percy moves to pour more for Luke in waiting. Or maybe just to do something with his hands.
“I was hoping I could stay with you now that I’m for lack of better words, retired.” It makes Percy’s entire body freeze up at once. He’s half bent over the table, eyes boring into the table, and liquid about to spill over Luke’s glass, but he still doesn’t move.
How can he?
Luke staying here. Asking to stay here, not just forcing his way in. He wants to be here on this one manned farm that Percy’s worked so hard to keep peaceful and secure from the war’s repercussions.
“I’ll clear out the office.” He replies once the lemonade starts to overflow and the table becomes pooled with yellow liquid. Luke moves to grab the paper towel roll from the counter behind Percy, he’s talking, Percy can’t make it out nor does he care.
:: you come crawling back to me, but I’m already on the ground — percy’s high and calls out for luke, not expecting the man to actually show up
tags :: canon divergence, aged up characters, drug use, drug addiction, sex acts for drugs, mentioned bad!thalia grace, mentioned bad!annabeth chase, percy joins luke, touch starved percy jackson, title from a sleep token song
ao3 link | mature | word count: 2.4k+
The moment it enters his system is always like something Percy’s never experienced before. It’s the first time every time. It burns and stings for just a moment before his body feels like it’s floating. The rush almost reminds him of the final moments of a fight, when his opponent is slowing down and he’s only hyping up, though this is definitely better. Faster. More powerful than a simple adrenaline boost.
He stumbles a bit as he walks out of the club’s bathroom, the neon lighting bouncing off the grimy walls making his head spin. It would probably make him nauseous if he had even a bite of food in his stomach but he can’t remember the last time he had any time to use on eating. Him, Annabeth and Thalia just came back from weeks roaming the labyrinth looking for- what were they looking for?
He’s supposed to be home now. Going home. His mother and Paul are probably sleeping by now but he didn’t want to go to camp so he opted to hop a bus into the city. It’s how he ended up with some mystery pills being slipped into his hand in a dark corner. How much money did he spend on them? Shit, where’d he even get the money?
Wait. No that’s not right. He didn’t pay for them with money. It was… it was a handy? No, a blowjob. Yeah. Some fucker with big gold chains on and a mutter about Percy looking enough like a girl.
Whatever.
He got the drugs and that’s all he cares about. And as he makes his way out of the front door to the sidewalk, he smiles for the first time in what feels like eons.
Thalia and Annabeth aren’t here. He smiles so wide his cheeks hurt. He thinks he’s learning to hate those two, or, loathe them might be a better word. He’s sick of them that’s for sure.
“Shit, sorry.” Percy mumbles when his shoulder bumps into someone as he tries to hobble to an alleyway or something. The person he walked into puts a hand on his shoulder to steady him. He’s a pretty guy.
“All good man, my fault anyway.” He’s blonde with blue eyes and crooked teeth. He looks like Luke.
“Right…” Percy mumbles and tries not to seem high but he isn’t sure it works. The guy walks off and loops his arm around some dark haired girl in a mini skirt. It’s not Luke.
Percy wonders what Luke is doing right now. But he knows he should be thinking about what Annabeth and Thalia are doing right now. If they made it back to camp, what story they’re spinning to Chiron to once again explain away Thalia’s fighting marks that don’t even begin to compare to the ones she left on Percy.
Still. His mind wanders to Luke.
It’s weird to think about everything Luke stands for now, that initial betrayal, him trying to recruit Percy all those years ago, him being nowhere to be seen when that ship blew up and Charles died, how he’s been nowhere since. Everyone at camp insists he’s dead and gone. Long buried. Percy isn’t so sure and he doesn’t think Thalia is either.
Some dark part of Percy hopes Luke is alive and they’re not really fighting some unknown titan. Kronos is gone, that has been confirmed, but nobody ever found Luke’s body and Percy hasn’t been able to ask Nico to check for his soul. Gods, Nico, maybe he’s with Luke’s side now. It might be better for him. Camp was never friendly to Nico the same way it’s never been nice to Percy.
“Luke… you around here? In the uh… roads?” Percy slumps back against a cold brick wall in some alleyway just to get away from the people still roaming the sidewalks. He doesn’t know why he’s talking out loud, he knows Luke won’t hear him.
“Oh son of Hermes can you hear me?” A stupid sounding laugh bubbles out of Percy at his own sing-song tone. Luke would find it funny. The Luke Percy briefly knew anyway, he isn’t sure what he’d be like now.
“Son of Hermes, really? I despise my father and that’s how you address me.” Very suddenly, a blonde man is standing in front of Percy with his arms crossed but a small smirk on his lips.
“Woah. Luke?” Percy lazily reaches a hand out but he’s too far to touch what he thinks might be a hallucination.
“You called me.” Is speaking his name aloud the same as calling him?
“You’re not dead.” A sigh escapes Luke as he crouches down in front of Percy- and when did he start sitting on the ground?
“You didn’t really think that, did you?” He shakes his head honestly. Part of him is convinced camp only believes it so much because Annabeth needed a way to cope after so long without a sighting so she started saying he was obviously dead.
“You’ve been gone for so long and all I had to do was say your name to get you here. You must really like me.” If Percy was more lucid, he’d be worried Luke was going to try and kill him or something, but right now he’s just happy he has someone to talk to.
“I’ve been waiting for you to call. I knew you’d come around sooner or later.” The last part is kind of mumbled as Luke rubs at his face in the humidity of the summer night.
“Come around to what?” An eye roll is his response. Percy tries not to pout- apparently he’s done that before, in front of Annabeth enough times that she’s started to get annoyed by it, and it only took once for Thalia to jab at him for being a baby.
“Why’d you call me Percy?” He shrugs and tears his eyes away from Luke’s icy blue ones.
“I dunno. I snorted some pills and missed you.” And he’s a good distraction from the still salty taste of another persons skin in his mouth or the headache starting to set in or the pain aching from where Thalia zapped him in the ribs one too many times.
“Missed me?” Luke sounds too interested for Percy not to hear it, he ignores it anyway.
“Yeah. I have to fight everyone else and- and you’re bad, y’know the enemy or whatever, but we’ve never fought that bad. You betrayed me in the woods but that wasn’t the worst. I wanted to talk to someone I didn’t have to argue with.” It’s ironic and makes no logical sense but Percy can’t think up a better excuse for missing someone he shouldn’t.
“That makes no sense.” Percy huffs irritatedly and pouts (again).
“So? Maybe I just missed you.” Luke laughs and shakes his head playfully, Percy remembers the motion from his first ever week at camp when he’d follow Luke around like a puppy. He misses that. It was so simple back then.
“I missed you too Perce.” That pulls a smile to Percy’s lips as he tries to lean forward to be closer to Luke.
“See, I knew you really liked me.” Shockingly, his arms find something solid and slide over Luke’s shoulders to slump into him. Percy isn’t sure what’s more surprising- that Luke’s actually here in the flesh, or that he’s letting Percy drape himself over him.
“You’re really high aren’t you?” Luke laughs and the rumble of his chest shakes Percy a bit.
“I don’t know what I took, it was… blue? No, purple. I like it.” His face lolls to the side and presses to Luke’s shoulder as arms wrap hesitantly around his back.
“You shouldn’t take something if you don’t know what it is.” Percy shrugs. They shift til Luke has his back to the gross wall and Percy’s all but laid on top of him.
It really is nasty in this alleyway. There’s a big dumpster feet away, it kind of smells like salt for some reason, there’s probably piss on the ground since they’re not far from the club Percy came from, and he bets there’s rats scurrying around too. The lights from the street do a better job to illuminate everything at this angle and Percy’s able to make out how Luke is grimacing as he shifts his legs straight out. He probably knows just how dirty it is back here better than Percy does.
“It numbs me, sometimes.” Other times it’s just a distraction that doesn’t do much to help the physical pain but can make his mental state calm the hell down. It’s worth it either way.
“You’ve gotten high before?” Luke’s voice sounds less confident than before, more subdued and personal.
“I get high any chance I get. I’ve even got a stash of weed at camp.” One he knows the Stoll brothers have seen him smoking but say nothing about as long as Percy doesn’t cause a scene when some of his weed is suddenly missing after he’s gone for an extended period of time. It’s been rough on all the campers to know war is raging on every day all day.
“Shit Perce. Annabeth know?” The name deflates something in Percy and he finds himself sinking into Luke even further, pressing his nose down against Luke’s soft cotton t-shirt that smells of saffron. Luke always smells like saffron. Most Hermes kids have a slight hint of it but Luke’s scent is stronger, probably due to his stronger powers too.
“If she hasn’t figured it out yet then she hasn’t been paying attention. So… probably not.” He tries to laugh but his chest burns and his hand clutches Luke’s shirt loosely.
“What do you mean? Sil- my camp source says you guys are still inseparable.” A hand rubs at Percy’s spine that pokes out too much from how he’s curled into Luke. He wishes he could hide it under two hoodies layered so Luke wouldn’t know how skinny he’s gotten but it’s far too late in the summer season for that.
“I guess. Me, her and Thalia go on a lot of quests but they’re more consumed with each other than me. Unless Thalia gets mad, then it’s my problem.” His ribs ache at the thought. He probably should’ve tried to take a shower or something to make it dull before going to the club but he hadn’t thought that far ahead.
“She hurts you?” The words catch in his throat and Percy curses his own mind. He’s talking to Luke- the girls grew up with him, he can’t tell him what goes on during those quests, Luke might take it the wrong way and get mad at Percy for it.
“I miss you.” He mutters instead and Luke lets out a small sigh. It sounds defeated but Percy can’t place why. His mind is still fuzzy from the mystery drugs and if he’s honest, he wouldn’t want to put brain power into dissecting anyone else’s tone after doing it for weeks with Thalia and Annabeth.
“Want me to take you to your mom’s?” Luke runs a hand through Percy’s sweaty hair gently. It’s the kindest way anyone’s touched Percy in a long time.
“You don’t want to be around me anymore?” Percy knows this bit and finds himself subconsciously slowly pulling away despite the kind action Luke’s showing him.
Everyone always gets sick of his company soon enough. It’s faster sometimes- Annabeth and Thalia throwing him to the back when they’re walking side by side, Clarisse annoyed by his very presence at sword training, actually most Ares kids don’t like him hanging around them. But there are times where he gets more leeway- Silena swimming with him in the mornings before many people are awake, the Stoll brothers letting him sit on Luke’s old empty bed when he can’t stand being alone in cabin three anymore, and even Will from the Apollo cabin has allowed him to watch archery training since he knows he’s not skilled in that way but enjoys the company.
“That’s not what I said.” Luke tries to meet Percy’s eyes but he’s quick to avoid the gaze and drop his head.
“It’s what you mean though. It’s- it’s okay..” He tries to drag himself off of Luke’s frame but is stopped by Luke’s hands on his back to pull him down again.
“It’s not what I mean. I just don’t want you out on the streets like this.” It’s easier than Percy would like to admit to sink back into Luke’s touch and nod along. He’s so desperate for human affection he hates himself for it. They’re laying in a fucking alley on the bad side of town and all Percy can think about it is how nice it is to have Luke this close. He’d scream at himself if he was alone.
“If I go back to my mom’s then you’ll leave.”
“You don’t want me to leave?” Instead of admitting it aloud, Percy just shakes his head and pushes his forehead to the crook of Luke’s neck. He should stop. He should go home. He shouldn’t even be talking to Luke.
“Can’t I come home with you?” Percy knows he’s just sealed his fate.
He chose the other side. He’s leaving Annabeth and camp behind. This is his final act of self destruction- he doubts Luke will let him exist peacefully once he’s sober again and is faced with his decision in the morning light. He’ll regret this. He’ll pay for this.
“Perce…” And still, when Luke hesitates, Percy’s throat closes in fear that Luke will deny him.
“Please? I want to.” Don’t leave me behind, he begs silently.
“Maybe you should decide this when you’re sobered up.” He huffs indignantly and tightens his arms around Luke’s shoulders.
“I don’t want to do what they make me do at camp. I- I’ll work for you, I don’t care, it has to be better than Thalia and Annabeth.” Even if he’s stuck as Luke’s personal assistant or bodyguard or whatever- it’ll top getting lighting shot through him and insults hurdled his way day in and day out. He won’t be a weapon only taken out of his sheath to be drenched in blood before idly wiped off and tucked away again waiting for the next time he’s needed.
“Okay Perce.” The wind shifts and somehow, Percy feels lighter following Luke into the darkness of the alley where he can road shift. He leans on Luke and lets himself believe this is the right decision for just a little longer.
The best thing about lukercy is all the times they could have made different choices and changed things. So many spaces where a different decision would have altered everything. So many chances to do something else.
It's especially delicious because they both think that convincing the other will save them. To Luke, if Percy joins him, Percy will be saved. To Percy, if Luke rejoins him, Luke might be saved. They're both trying to save each other by saying "come with me" and "come back to me."
So what if one of them succeeded? Who gets to save who and is it really salvation?
:: when I lay with you, I could stay there, close my eyes, feel you here forever— percy shares one last moment with luke during the battle of manhattan
tags :: book 5: the last olympian, major character death, love confessions, canon divergence, aged up characters, percy spent more time at camp before his first quest
ao3 link | teen & up | word count: 1.5k+
The battle was proving to be more emotional for Percy than he had expected. He’s spent so long hating Luke, being angry at him for his choices, getting annoyed at the simple possibility that someone would feel sympathy for him, by the gods- he was happy when he thought Thalia killed him two years ago.
But now, as he stands face to face with Luke, sword in hand, he feels his composure starting to crumble. Annabeth had said something about family and suddenly the old Luke had come back.
“Please, the knife…” He sounds like he’s in pain and Percy freezes. For the first time in this battle, he feels like his feet are rooted to the ground by the vines Grover has been summoning. They aren’t. Grover’s too busy trying to help Annabeth for any roots to be left on the floor.
He hands Luke the knife.
“Wait-.” He goes to shout in the sudden realization that Luke is about to kill himself. There’s no ambrosia around or nectar or anything that could help him once he’s injured his Achilles spot.
“No, Luke, wait..” Percy takes a step and his legs wobble but he pushes through it until he’s dropped to his knees next to Luke. He thinks the Gods have just arrived, at least some of them, Percy can’t focus on it.
“It’s okay.” Luke tries to muster a smile as Annabeth and Grover approach.
“Luke…” Words start to flow out of Annabeth and Luke’s mouth, Percy tunes it out.
There’s blood on his finger tips where he’s holding Luke’s arm. It’s warm and sticky, fresh and reeking of copper even from here. Percy feels lightheaded. Memories start to flood back to him and all he can do is clutch Luke harder.
He remembers his first night at camp sitting next to Luke at the dinner table, their knees knocking as they laughed, Luke’s ever present smile that made Percy’s chest feel warm and fuzzy. Then a day later when their shoulders brushed as they walked from place to place trying to find something Percy wasn’t a complete failure at. The night before capture the flag when they talked in the woods and Percy had done the ballsy move of interlacing their pinkies on the log they sat on. After Percy got claimed by Poseidon when Luke had helped him gather his very few items he had and an oddly sad look stayed on both their faces at the idea of sleeping in separate cabins. Sharing cokes, again, with their full hands intertwined now, sharing a first kiss under the night sky. Luke’s hands in Percy’s hair as he laid with his head on Luke’s thigh after a hard day of sword training. When Percy looked for Luke first when he got assigned his first quest. When they kissed goodbye and Percy lingered because he was scared he wasn’t coming back.
“Luke- please.” His voice cracks as he realizes his hands are both hovering over Luke’s wound now. As if he’ll somehow magically suck the pain out of it, cure him and fix everything.
“Percy, what is this?” Poseidon appears and Percy chokes on the tears that he can’t hold back any longer.
“Where- where’s Apollo? We need Apollo! Please!” He’s yelling and his father takes a step back like he’s stunned.
Luke reaches out to put a hand on Percy’s cheek and that’s the only reason he dares look away from the Gods. The color has started to drain from Luke and there’s a new black ink stain peaking out from underneath him- Kronos has slipped away- Luke is all that’s left.
“It’s alright. You don’t have to save me.” Percy trembles and leans into the cold touch Luke has on his skin.
“Yes I do, I can help you, let me help you. You can’t die.” He’s blubbering now. Luke smiles faintly, trying to pull Percy closer but his strength is faining and Percy has to lean in on his own accord.
He can picture sitting on the edge of the dock at camp when the sun was setting, after curfew when everyone was supposed to be asleep, with Luke next to him. Percy hadn’t been able to sleep and was going to go for a swim to relax but had run into Luke outside the bathrooms before he reached the water- Luke had taken his hand as they ducked to run past the Big House incase Chiron or Mr D were still awake. They sat out there long into the night. Not much was said but Luke held Percy’s jaw and brushed his thumb against his skin as they kissed, Percy was as close as physically possible to Luke and desperately wanted the night to go on forever.
“Where the fuck is Apollo?!” Percy hears more Gods appear but none of them are who he needs. They stare at him, uselessly standing wide eyed.
“Percy please, it’s okay.” There’s a satisfied edge to Luke’s voice that Percy hates, it sounds too final. Too at peace. He wants the anger back, the hate, the revenge that rushed through Luke’s veins for so long, that made him a fighter.
“I can’t lose you.” Hot tears fall from Percy’s eyes as he curls in closer to Luke, forehead resting below his throat as he cries and feels Luke’s hand travel from his cheek to his hair.
“I’ve made mistakes but you weren’t one of them. You’re better than I ever could’ve imagined.” Percy wants to scream at Luke to shut up and to stop giving speeches like they’ll never see each other again.
“I knew you’d be a great hero the moment we met and I was right, you really are a true legend. I’m so proud of you.” There’s a half hearted head shake Percy tries to give as a reply but Luke lets out a sigh and Percy’s head snaps up.
“No, no, no, Luke! Luke look at me!” His eyes are fluttering.
“I’m right here, my love.” Their hands interlock and Percy squeezes hard the way Luke always liked.
“Don’t close your eyes.” There’s an urge to call out for Nico, beg him to take them both, that Percy can’t come back from Luke dying. Through all the tough act and complicated feelings for Luke, he’s realized there’s only one real one- love.
He’s loved Luke this whole time.
That’s why it hurt so bad, that’s why everything has felt crushing, that’s why he couldn’t stand people having hope for Luke. He wanted to be enough to stop Luke. Them being together should’ve changed his mind. It should’ve saved him.
“Shh, I’m here, I’m right here.” Their lips press together softly and Percy lets his eyes slip closed. He has to savor this and he knows it. His stomach twits uncomfortably.
“Luke I-.” The words die between the tears and choked breaths Percy can get out.
“I love you too.” Luke mutters before his eyes slip shut and his hand slides away from Percy.
-
A scream, or something, leaves Percy’s mouth. He isn’t sure. His throat burns and his eyes are wet by the time he’s done. He thinks the ground beneath is shaking but it’s unimportant.
“Percy, it’ll be alright, it’s fine.” Someone is next to him and he screams again. Screech is the better word. It echos off the palace walls and the ground shakes again. He’s exhausted and energized all at once.
“Luke!” His hands are shaking in the grip he has on Luke’s shirt, staring down at his lifeless body with the despair eating him.
This wasn’t supposed to end this way. They should’ve saved him, he should be okay right now, it’s not fair. It’s not fair! It’s not fucking fair!
“I know, I know it’s not. But you need to calm down.” Is he talking out loud? Is that Annabeth’s voice? He wants to look but he can’t take his eyes off Luke.
“Why isn’t anyone doing anything? They should be doing something! They’re Gods…” The volume in his words drop and arms wrap around him, trying to pull him away. Panic floods Percy and he scrambles to not be taken away from Luke, curling over him in protectiveness, feeling like he’s about to hyperventilate at the thought of being dragged away.
“I’m not leaving him! Not until someone does something- he- he needs help. Someone help him.” How can the Gods be so cruel to watch Luke die now? Percy can’t wrap his head around it. He just scarified himself to get rid of Kronos and they’re going to let him die? It’s unjust.
“Help him! You bastards help him!” His father’s face contorts uncomfortably when Percy meets his eyes with his screaming.
“I’m afraid it’s too late.” Athena steps forward to speak in that annoyingly calm voice she has. Percy feels anger bubble in him as he shakes his head, tugging Luke up into his lap, trying not to pay attention to how limp he actually is.
“Luke wake up, cmon I know you can. Just open- open your eyes. Luke, baby please, open your eyes.” Nothing. He starts screaming again. He can hear waves crashing too, he isn’t sure where they’re coming from. He’s angry. Bitter. Hateful even.
one of my favorite transfem five hcs is that she projected her gender onto dolores before so she actually is the one that likes to wear sequins n stuff akfkgkg aaaa//
i love that shed still wear mostly the same thing. butch transfem lesbian five :)
omg sorry I’m replying so late
you are SO right!!! give me five in a silver sequined shirt and some nice dress pants with heeled black boots! give me five in a polka dot shirt that only gets washed when allison swipes it from her laundry when five isn’t looking!! give me fem!five living her best life!
