Witch With The Floppy Hat @floppyhatwitch - Tumblr Blog

god I need this tomodachi bullshit to come out already I fucked up and put me, my girlfriend and the evil and intimidating horse on the island and now my mii runs into her house to promote the full game while aforementioned girlfriend and horse fucking HATE each other

#tomodachi life

no low poly girl! don't press 2 to preview your model with the smoothness modifier!! your sharp edges and defined silhouette give you a sense of character that is both charming and visually distinct in a way that the interpolation of your form will flatten out and de-emphasize!!! nooooooooooooooo!!!!

#doing 3s modelling class mildly high fuckin RULES #I am in the software swimming around like a scuba diver and helping turtles get unstuck from nets but it's cubes instead of turtles #and poor topology instead of fishing nets

orcboxer

you hear the sound of a baby crying, with the doppler effect, and then it's gone. you whip your head around, searching, confused, but you're alone at home at night. it never happens again.

gudamor

A famous baseball player has just made millions, but can they live with their decision?

durbikins

and now you hawk what they tuah and now you hawk what they tuah and now you hawk what they tuah and now you hawk what they tuah and now you hawk what they tuah

durbikins

hawk you I won't tuah you tell me! hawk you I won't tuah you tell me! hawk you I won't tuah you tell me! hawk you I won't tuah you tell me! hawk you I won't tuah you tell me! hawk you I won't tuah you tell me!

memorycycle

dino saurs were not scary monsters they were mamas with eggs and when they drank water they were like fuckk yessss waterrrr

#for all my dinosaur enthusiast mutuals

Corporate bullshit training simulator

- Lengthy introduction of people's names and roles that will never be referred back to again

- Content warning of "intense content" without any specifications or procedures in place if these things get to you besides "you can leave the room :)"

- The most broad definition of the topic you can imagine (personal favourite was "domestic violence is violence that occurs in a domestic situation")

- Immediate activity where you talk to the people around your table about what you know on the subject

- Three people raising their hands to give their examples of what they know

- Three slides that go over basically exactly that while the presenter repeatedly notes that this is stuff that people already shared in their groups

- Q&A section motivated by nothing where the previous slides are reiterated

- QR code for a survey on what they did well and what they can improve on <3

#had three of these in a row and the only interesting one was the DEI one because the presenter cracked jokes the whole time #like idk maybe if a bulk of the content is forming groups and then reporting back your service is kinda just based on us #and I get personal stories are relevant #but there's a reason that lecturers don't tell you to turn to the person next to you and explain what your tuition is going towards #shout out first aid though that stuff is the real shit

#baby youtube

skidmark4-deactivated20251026

i get high & start actn like joe biden

delirious--mistakes

#AMEN!!!

catcrumb

#see the real trick is that the best platform to vague is your brain #or a trusted friend in an empty parking lot at 3am #and also the notes app #yes obviously to read to a trusted friend at 3am in an empty parking lot #keep up

aqwult

i'm off the penn don't teller

Obviously I hate how a significant portion of brand marketing now is commenting on random trending posts to ride off the momentum of a completely unrelated post, but oh my god when they're INSULTING???

Like not when Wendy's was doing those milquetoasts roasts that millennials loved on request, but like genuinely just making fun of people on an innocuous post. I just saw ikea respond "Vecna is rolling in his grave rn" to a video of a beginner adult dance class doing their stranger things dance.

YOU'RE NOT A REAL PERSON!!! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE HAVING FUN FOR THE SAKE OF SELLING FUCKING FURNITURE?????

Idk I think in an internet rife with people trying to derive pleasure out of mocking people for being themselves any brand that mimics that parasitic rot should be drawn and quartered. What do you mean your underpaid social media manager has "make fun of people completely unrelated to anything we do" as part of their KPIs.

#and of course the people responding eat it up #or hit them with a mediocre “silence brand” while the original comment still gets thousands of likes #idk brands shouldn't be able to pose as people already why are they also being assholes

madnessofmen

idk why but this is very amusing to me. got bored with the small and nearby, looking for the large and very far away now.

"batting 500" has to be one of the least literal phrases of all time

If you "bat 300" (hit 30% of your pitches for a batting average of 0.300) that's enough to put you in the hall of fame. The highest batting average (that a 2 minute Wikipedia search can find) is 0.371. Who the fuck is batting 500

The part that is even more silly is if you take it as "hitting 50% of the pitches you take" (i.e. succeeding half the time) then that either means you're statistically average or really bad actually

If you go in for a surgery and the nurse says "the surgeon here is batting 500 :)" this is either good (and your surgeon is so good that they're like 1.5x better than the greatest surgeon ever recorded) neutral (your surgeon is doing ok and achieving what they need to) or bad (you have coin flip odds on making it out alive)

this is why I propose a new and superior phrase: "good at baseball"

#what if they invented a sport called baseball #and it's like #baseball #but like #based #because they use an extra decimal place so that they can all bat 500 if they hit 5% of their pitches #this would contribute nothing and make things more confusing #give me one million dollars

the question every body wants to know...

do it???

the answer everybody is pleased to hear...

it do!!!!

#peace and love 💗#happylalaposting #lovely times

beer company released a non-alcoholic godzilla themed beer and calls it "minus zero"

only to then follow it up with "minus one" which is an energy drink with the exact amount of caffeine to sober you up one standard drink's worth of drunkenness

#I know that's not how it works don't tell me that's not how it works go haha good joke fool and move on #anyway shoutout godzilla #raaaaaaa and other phrases #real for that

angelicguy

peasant doing standup with hands in his pockets slightly hunched : so I was toiling right

#hittin the fuckin uhhhhh #keving jamed pose #“anyone here got an asshole feudal lord? yeah? fellas in the back?”#“you there in the front with that dickhead haircut #what do you do for work?“#“a friar?”#“shit yeah man probably could have saved myself some time on that one”

blemgoid

the doctor diagnost me with horrible horrible horrible pig's disorder

#the terrible counterpart to the honourable hungry hungry hippo

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Witch With The Floppy Hat