I believe in kindness. Also in mischief.

they.she | 26

[floraltrousers]

is anyone else bawling their eyes rn or is that just me

[gvalesdraws]

picture "raimond davinos' genes never stood a chance"

[floraltrousers]

I love oregon because during the non-summer months our tap water is refrigerator cold

[floraltrousers]

late april update: the tap water has not been ice cold for a few weeks. I have come to accept that the season for crisp water straight from my pipes has come to an end 😔

[floraltrousers]

guess what time it is :)

[floraltrousers]

there are precious few weeks of crispy tap water left

[ceruleanheaven]

sometimes im shocked at how much i Dont miss certain people like damn i could have sworn you were more important

[medievaljournalist]

i don't mean to alarm ye but i just got word there's about 100 evil as fuck skeletal wizards approaching your location

my ultimate warrior will defend me no matter what

[medievaljournalist]

or fucking get killed by a ghoul five minutes into the skirmish i guess thats good also

[lilaclupin]

Today we were talking about how words can mean different things to different communities, and that people outside the community wouldn't understand. Like how a non-poker player wouldn't understand poker jargon the way other poker players would. Anyway, then my professor said he was gonna show us his "favourite example" and wrote a single word on the board that gave me instant psychic damage: beta.

Apparently sport climbers use this word with a meaning of "technique, method." But for a horrifying, horrifying second there was the possibility in my mind that we were gonna talk about ABO in my fucking linguistics class

[muffinlance]

Professor Betas Georg, who writes 50k omegaverse fics during office hours, boldy wrote "beta" on the board while observing which of his students went dead. still.

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[your-turn-to-role]

i know clowning on primus tachonis for his shitty recipe following is all we've been doing all week but god i still can't get over the fact that okay, you figured out the modified ritual would only work on an alive tachonis without innate sorcery, meaning there was ONLY ONE CANDIDATE IN THE UNIVERSE this could have worked on, and THIS is the time you chose to go fuck it we're doing it live???

i swear, "something's wrong with the boy - primus, you fool, what have you done??" gets funnier every week. yeah, primus, what have you done, with this once in a lifetime opportunity? well first off you failed to keep track of the kid, because you told him to his face you didn't care what he did with his life as long as you didn't have to hear about it. second, you didn't actually test that the ritual could be done from a distance, you just assumed, which even if you were right, is extremely poor scientific practice to suddenly add in other variables when experimenting on your, and i cannot stress this enough, only viable subject! you also threw in the complete demolishing of two other noble houses at the same time, because you were planning to destroy them anyway, no harm in splitting our forces because surely the experiment will work out and then it won't be a problem!

i know you were under some amount of time pressure but given that your house hasn't imploded yet in the week since you failed the ritual that's time enough to check your working

the ritual calls for replacing the subject's living heart with one carved from celestial bones and you just shoved the stone of nightsong in there wholesale. primus that's not a heart that's a fucking bird

[letsnotandsaywewantedto]

Dearest Uncle Segundus, The recipe calls for 'One (1) Occtis Tachonis, fresh'. Would you please remind Father that we don't have a spare, so it's very important to not to waste him. If the Deva Vindicta Soufflé falls, we can't just go to the market and purchase another Occtis at the Disappointing Offspring stall. Could you please ask him to follow the fucking recipe and also to refrain from slamming the oven door for a whole entire hour while our defective sibling bakes? Hugs and Kisses, Petra and Ryah

[foxxology]

you ever see a woman slit a guys throat and start hearing wedding bells?

happy thursday!

[depsidase]

[floraltrousers]

every time I get a new tattoo I feel 200% sexier

[shinraalpha]

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

[elodieunderglass]

The mileage on this one is totally normal Elrond. Hey speaking of can I park him here for a while

[the-birth-of-art]

h/t to @namasteinside for the lol

[zinjanthropusboisei]

In "Unfinished Tales" there's a section where the Fellowship gets Gandalf to tell his side of the story about how he recommended Bilbo to Thorin's company and this is literally how it went down:

[carsen-daily]

There were just so many great additions to this post that I had to put them all in one place.

[thulium]

[crazycatladyclothing]

[gayz0mb]

thimble the second all of the tables reunite

[godlessondheimite]

A YA romantasy writer filed suit against another writer for copyright infringement, and as is always the case with these things, she padded her claims with delusionally spurious examples. The judge issued a 160-page ruling against the plaintiff where you can tell from the start how resentful they (or whatever clerk actually did the work) are to have been forced by duty to have read the works in question.

[dispatchesfromtheclasswar]

[monstermonger]

He's worried about stepping on flowers. He loves nature. - (ref)