It’s too late to undo it. It seemed that even with their father dead and gone, so much of the damage had already been done. Hadn’t she said it herself to Horatio, that even though Vidal was no longer there, she still found herself making herself small in his name? Listening to his words and scoldings despite the fact that he was no longer able to punish her for disobeying? “Dad really left us with a mess, didn’t he?” There was no warmth to her tone, no pleasant reminiscing occurring between two siblings concerning their deceased patriarch; if anything it was resigned, bitter, the small wry smile on her lips far from her usual bright grin. Sometimes, even her smile felt manufactured by the man who had raised them, so bright that no one cared enough to wonder what it hid.
“Yeah, you’re right. There’s a lotta smart people around. I’m sure they could figure something out.” So far, their track records weren’t the best, but then again, who could blame them? Vidal had left them a pile full of needles, and sorting through it to find which ones were the most important was near impossible.
Florence gives her his full attention, his gaze settled on her as they speak, and it’s a good feeling. A warm feeling, one that makes her feel like not only is she allowed to speak, but that Florence wants to listen. Two years ago, that feeling only ever accompanied a small handful of people. “I can see why,” she replies, a small smile on her lips. “What did you get up to while you were away?” It’s a question she’d been curious about with many of her siblings, as she imagined their lives so different from her own, but had never made much effort to actually find out what they were truly like. The only people she’d kept in contact with from the house had been Ace, Horatio, and Remy, and their parents, of course.
“Yeah, January of 2018,” she nods, gaze shifting back to the flower. She can still remember the conversation, Dad sitting both her and Ace down and telling them it was time to spread their wings. She’d known what it meant, however; he wanted them out. Why then, she still doesn’t know, and probably never will. “I wasn’t really expecting it. It was hard at first, figuring it all out,” and it had been, too many decisions (even if Bluebell had vetted every one) for a girl so unused to making any for herself. “But I had Blue and Harley. They helped a lot. I was really lucky with that.”
" he’d probably just say it’s all a part of our inheritance, ” he joked, nodding his head to the side as he spoke. the will had never specified inheriting his secrets, inheriting his mysteries and ( literal ) ghosts, but he supposed it was an unspoken deal. vidal’s children got money or property or jewelry or stocks and the mess that had resulted from his moral ambiguity. the mess that had been created from his god complex, his unspoken insistence that he was as good as their creator. while florence did not know the origin stories of all of his siblings, he often wondered who they would all be had their Father never seen them fit to take in. would they have been better off ?
“ and, uh, teamwork’s helped too, right ? there with that whole max thing and all... ” a year of their lives had been lost. they figured out who the person was, but would they ever figure out why ? “ if we could just all..., ” he intertwined his fingers before continuing, “ actually work together, set our differences aside, maybe we’d know more than just that. ” it was idealistic, florence was well-aware. he was well-aware that he was no stranger to idealism in general. but it was such a nice concept, one that absolved any of their associates of guilt.
what had he gotten up to while he was away ? it could be nuanced if he wanted it to be. it could be simplified if he wanted it to be. he could tell her all about his journey to self-discovery outside of the house, or he could simply say he’d found outlooks that suited him. he could tell her all about what his job was and what he hoped for it to be, or he could simply say its title. when asked about any of the topics that he felt closest to, it was never in an overarching sense. “ well, i found a community that i felt more... connected to myself in. it’s technically a religion – jainism – but it’s not very big in england. one of its principles, the heart of it that creates a... clearer divide between it and other religions that practice ahimsa, is that even that, ” he pointed to the thistle, “ has a soul. ” ( or used to, but that would be a downer ! ) “ everything you come into contact with has a soul, even the little things you can’t see in the dirt. so, by that principle, you have something that’s on par with us in your hand right now. its soul is just as real as any given person’s. ” that was, of course, the tl;dr, what had first piqued his interests. the nuances of the souls, the tirthankaras, the many-sided reality, the lack of worldly attachment... they all existed for more in-depth conversations.
florence brought his legs up into a criss-cross position, leaning forward better now as she spoke. “ how have you liked it ? the... freedom ? ” of all of vidal’s children, belva was certainly one of the most restrained. what autonomy had she known before he forced her out ? he couldn’t imagine how much it must have hurt, to be told by your own Father that you were becoming too much of a burden, but had it been for the best ?
