2 Flurg 2 Blah

mid twenties trans girl, she/it lynx lebsiab, sexual content and untagged kink will appear on this blog. the number is currently 13

[flurgerbla]

Hungry girl

[princess-rosiebird]

if ur cooking somthing rn,., stop whatever ur doing,., add more garlic,,,

[lady-viccy]

you'll never fucking guess

[flurgehbla]

i love you weirdly stiff headphone cable

[flurgehbla]

just me and my weirdly stiff headphone cable against the world

[jingerpi]

I never really wanted to get into this on here but I want to talk about it now so nobody can stop me.

honestly one of the worst things is that I knew. a lot of people talk about not knowing they were trans until xyz event where they realized and went through whatever hardships and then transitioned. people talk about repression and discovery and all these things. and those are all powerful and important experiences I don't see myself as above them in any way. but I knew.

I was never an egg, I was never in denial. when I was 3 years old I dreamed I was a princess. I know this because my family retells it as a funny story. I tried to wear my sister's clothes regularly, I asked people why there wasn't a word for the reverse of a tomboy, I put on makeup, I used she/her pronouns online since I first learned to read and write.

I don't bring this up to do this "I've always been a woman deep down, so you should listen to me as super valid Mr psychologist gatekeeper". my point is that it didn't matter.

I knew, and it didn't matter. it wasn't an issue of having to figure out who I was and then realizing that. it's that who I am was intentionally killed and locked away at every turn. it's not that I didn't realize I was a girl, it's that I wasn't allowed to be one. I was hurt and punished and sent to conversion therapy repeatedly. I can't "go back in time and tell my younger self to save her years of struggle". it wouldn't matter. it wouldn't change anything at all. the issue wasn't a lack of information. it's a lack of power. kids and trans kids especially are subject to so much abuse and we have no power to do anything about it. it is such a great tragedy beyond words. knowing what you want to do and wear and say and be, that you want this name and these pronouns and that cute dress, and being powerless to do anything about it anyway. forced to wear clothes picked out for you by a guardian, only able to use pre-approved nicknames online. only allowed to engage in these specific hobbies and have these specific friends. all of whom treat you like garbage. but it doesn't matter. it doesn't even matter if you know it's unjust, there's no way to do anything about it. it is perhaps the most powerless position anyone can be in. there is no level of knowledge or personal strength that will get you out of it. you just have to shut off until enough time passes for the law to deem you as worthy of being a person.

I think that's a big part of why I'm like this now, once you see that powerlessness, when you experience the depths of hopelessness and disenfranchisement, you can never unsee it. it does something to you

[jingerpi]

it's easier to think that I did something wrong. that if I were smarter or stronger or cleverer I could've figured it out. and that when I did get out of that place, that it was due to my strength. but the reality is it wasn't. none of it was my fault, and that's almost harder to handle. there's no amount of trial or belief or hope or self knowledge that can magically warp the world to be kind to you. when I got away it's because I was a legal adult. that's it, that's all that changed. the only thing holding me back that entire time

[rockergiirl]

a foot fetish? buddy its only a fetish if it's an uncommon sexual arousal, it's like saying you have a boobs fetish

[flurgehbla]

I get the joke but the common sexualisation of boobs are also by definition a fetish

[theprettychoice-deactivated2015]

“Alexandria’s Genesis, a.k.a violet eyes (a genetic mutation).

When someone is born with Alexandria’s Genesis, their eyes are blue or gray at birth. After six months, the eyes begin to change from their original color to purple, and this process lasts six months. During puberty, the color deepens to dark purple, a deep purple, a royal purple, or a violet-blue color and remains that way. It does not affect the person’s eyesight. Those who have this mutation will never grow any facial, body, pubic, or anal hair (not including hair on their head, on their ears, noses, eyebrows and eyelashes). Women also do not menstruate, but are fertile”

[lmprovident-blog]

NO FUCKING SHAVING

NO FUCKING PERIODS

AND I GET PURPLE EYES

WHY THE FUCK WASN’T I BORN WITH THIS

FUCK WHY CAN I HAVE THIS

[heritageposts]

date of origin: 2013

[wickedcriminal]

[fuckj0shi]

god damn it i want that

[tongue-twists]

btw dating sucks as a concept.

[tongue-twists]

meeting up with someone with the explicit goal of figuring out whether or not you want a relationship with them spoils the dynamic. it sucks. it's terrible. fall in love with your friends like normal people.

[tongue-twists]

as expected this one is a hit with the autism website

[roscolux]

need to beam this tweet directly into everyone's minds right now

[firewalkwithmedvd]

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

[firewalkwithmedvd]

One of the most important critical texts of this century imo

[hypokeimena]

image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description

[allisonpregler]

Surf Dracula and Glup Shitto have become important new additions to the tv/movie criticism lexicon, I legit use them all the time. They're so helpful and specific!

[toastbutteregg]

[distractionsfromthefood]

[coyoteguuurl]

reminder that diy hrt is not only objectively safe, but in a deeply transphobic world, is imperative to the safety and longevity of trans people.

[coyoteguuurl]

Second time I've heard about diy being safer, so, in what way (s) is non-diy dangerous?

a few things:

pedantic, but the claim wasnt that diy is safe, wasnt that it is "safer", but in many ways it is.

doctors are often (read: almost always) uneducated on transgender health. from Continuing Gaps in Transgender Medicine Education Among Health Care Providers "few of [the endocrinologists] (11%) rated themselves as very compotent in transgender care. Consistent with their self report, only 5% correctly answered knowledge questions. Further, only 36% reported training in transgender care during endocrinology fellowship."

because of this, trans women are often prescribed doses of estrogen so low as to have very little feminizing effect. for example, the common dosing of 2mg daily estradiol tablets with 50mg daily spironolactone is generally not enough estrogen to dominate a woman's endocrine system, but is enough to strongly weaken her testosterone, which is likely to cause harm (your body needs a dominant hormone, it doesn't care if it's estrogen or testosterone, but not having either is directly dangerous). these doses also fail to meaningfully decrease risk of depression and its symptoms (self harm, suicide, etc).

in a deeply transphobic world, where trans rights are constantly under massive threat, anything which can give care to trans women is imperative to their safety.

[flurgehbla]

But who watches the voyeur

[flurgehbla]

Lynxgirl with a thing for bunnygirls and mousegirls for completely normal reasons 😇

[jimbles-archive]

[pinkplushiestar]

my favourite Calvin and Hobbes strip