@flxwsss - Tumblr Blog

When everything around me felt out of control and scary, I was desperate to find something I could command, and my body became that.

Kally Hacker, Discovering The Girl I’ve Hidden For Too Long (via anonymouslivejournal)

myfetalities

The worst part of bulimia is probably everything that happens after you purge. Looking down and seeing the last drop of saliva fall into the toilet, meeting up with your release. The taste in your mouth of bile and whatever meal came last. Looking in the mirror to clean up your fingers and mouth up and seeing your watery eyes filled with the hope that this is the last time, yet knowing it won’t be. Feeling your head pound, heart burn, and body ache; making walking seem near impossible. Twisting your head so fast, thinking you heard someone but hoping to God they didn’t hear you. Feeling the mix in your stomach of hunger yet being full. Preparing to walk out the bathroom door, getting your posture up, taking a deep breath, and unlocking the door, trudging to the outside world. Knowing that something is wrong with you and knowing this time around it will be worse than the last, thinking you beat it… thinking you won, and wondering why the fuck it had to come back.

something I wrote after being almost 3 months clean. (via @myfetalities)

coral

I felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often.

Charles Bukowski, Tales of Ordinary Madness (via feellng)

the-mind-of-a-lost-girl

beautifullitteraryquotes

Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short and wear shirts and boots because it’s okay to be a boy; for girls it’s like promotion. But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, according to you, because secretly you believe that being a girl is degrading.

Ian McEwan, The Cement Garden (via erotec)