Bits and Bobs

The place where I say words and things.

[hempkitty]

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

[gremlin-pattie]

reblog to let prev know you’re proud of them

[bullenterprise]

healthy progression of a relationship would necessarily bring an end to yearning? categorically false. a true yearner can yearn even in the most fulfilled scenarios. a true yearner can be nuts deep, inventing more esoteric levels of desired intimacy on the fly.

[yesterdaysprint]

Judge magazine, July 1926

[jorjin-deactivated20251207]

[pinkdovess]

this meme is so niche

[obscenicon]

[duckdotcom]

[teaboot]

A friend has once again brought it to my attention that it is unusual to have an intact chronological memory of life prior to age 12 and you know what’s weird to ME is that the rest of yall forgot how to sing the clean-up song

[teaboot]

Other shit:

The crotch-and-chin destroying hell of a toddler’s carseat

How fucking scary stairs are when you JUST figured out walking. “You can stand up” nah fuck that these steps go up to my knees and I’m top-heavy I’m gonna scoot down on my ass thank you

Walking alongside fucking giants whose legs are bigger than your whole fucking body and trying to keep up

Not knowing how to blow your nose and everyone expecting you to just figure it out by holding a tissue and saying “blow” like WHAT DO YOU MEAN CLOSE MY THROAT? Just an absolute snot waterboarding

People describing how to make sounds with your mouth but you can’t see inside their mouth when they do it so you kind of just guess over and over while they tell you you still don’t got it

Not having a full grasp of language but fully understanding CONCEPTS so you say shit like “are we going to the park later?” When you mean TOMORROW but all you can come up with is shit like “the next time we have lunch, not today but after today, after that” like a fucked up game of verbal post-brain injury Pictionary where people won’t let you get mad about it

Just. Mucus. Mucus and chapped skin, all the time, chin and upper lip. And you’re not supposed to lick it cause the spit is the PROBLEM but it’s fucking OBNOXIOUS. “Just keep the skin dry” wow thanks I’ve been aware of this mechsuit for about ten minutes and still haven’t fully mastered not falling into the toilet but yeah I know how to stay on top of that, cool

FALLING INTO THE TOILET

Trying to eat at a table where the surface comes up to your chin but not being able to get high or close enough cause you can’t scoot your chair in and your hands still don’t coordinate good so you end up just spooning tomato sauce onto your lap like an asshole. Like yeah mom my bad, have you considered though that I ALSO don’t want me to be covered in sauce? Cool

Adults being WAY too excited about shit that straight up is not worth the hype

Carpet burn. Constant carpet burn. Crawling, tripping, shuffling between toys on the floor. So much goddamn carpet burn

Knowing exactly what you’re talking about and zero people understanding because they think you’re too dumb for what you’re trying to communicate

Being told to wave at or hug complete strangers. And they always smelled kinda weird but you weren’t supposed to say it

The feeling of meeting an older kid and they act like they’re your manager or something

Encyclopedic knowledge and name of every single person in your grade 1 class, and their interests

Stroller rides. You could zone out at the ground for hours I swear to god

Dropping something while buckled into a carseat or stroller and not being able to get it and just resigning yourself to a life in hell

Dropping something while you’re in a carseat and it goes UNDER YOUR ASS and you can’t fucking GET IT

Other children getting away with just absolute war crimes. Imagine if Sharon showed up to the office potluck and offered you a cookie and after you ate one revealed that she licked it. Imagine if Gord took your stapler and put it down his pants so you couldn’t get it back. Imagine if for no reason at all your coworker told you your dad was stupid and then put your laptop in the garbage

Not remembering what different foods are called and getting pressured into agreeing to food you were NOT FULLY AWARE OF. How the FUCK is a chicken wing different from a chicken strip you ask? “Well, one just has a bone in it!” You fool. You fucking idiot. They might as well be from different animals entirely. But now you gotta eat it cause we don’t waste food (hell)

[teaboot]

Yes I’ve talked about this before and yes I’m going to talk about it again because every single person on earth should be fully and viscerally aware that being a kid feels like every description I’ve ever read of recovering from a stroke and we all grow up and forget and talk about childhood like it was magic.

Yeah some of it was fun and all but don’t you remember FALLING DOWN CONSTANTLY? You don’t remember needing help putting a shirt on cause you got your arm stuck and couldn’t get out and panicked so bad you started crying? You DON’T remember being just CONSTANTLY STICKY? Ohhh my good, pissing yourself. Pissing yourself was the worst. Christ alive, and being put in the playpen with a weird kid

[wainswright]

Why were you falling into the toilet?

[teaboot]

I WAS LIKE TWO FEET TALL

[lilietsblog]

I was always terrified of falling into a toilet. Our dacha (village house) had an outdoor toilet that was basically a hole in the floor above a latrine pit, with a huge rectangular... cylinder? making it more convenient to actually use it. Making it more convenient if youre large enough you cant easily just Fit In There, that is. I never fell (I don't think it would have ended well if I had) but I don't know how much of it ought to be attributed to my ardent refusal to use that thing without adult aid / until I was big enough I felt safe-ish.

[soberscientistlife]

[ojiilemon]

I doubt i’m adding anything to this but Imma add in my two cents.

I was raised in a conservative environment. My family wasn’t fanatical or removed from secular life but because of taught prejudice and family trauma, we were more center and even crossed over to the right (I used to parrot that I was “fiscally conservative” because I didn’t have the knowledge I do now and I wanted some way to connect with my more conservative friends and family.)

I can tell you now, even though I was centrist and teetering back then, these ideas WERE extreme. Not extreme in the grand scheme of things, but extreme to someone who had a vastly different perception of reality than I do now. I can say confidently that this isn’t a misunderstanding.

Conservatives and centrists /do/ take this at face value. They aren’t stupid. They know what “extremist leftists” want. They just fundamentally disagree that we should do that.

A lot of leftists make the mistake of thinking it’s flawed logic or reasoning or a lack of education. “It’s so simple. Why don’t they understand that all we want is zyz.”

They do. They just don’t believe that these things are rights. They believe that suffering is choice or sin based. They believe in a meritocracy and that everything that does or doesn’t happen is deserved and is destiny.

If we don’t have air to breathe in 20 years? We must have deserved it. If you can’t go to school or have debt? It’s your fault.

We are operating on fundamentally different core beliefs and that is why we, the people on the left who honestly aren’t asking for much, are extreme. Because our core values dictate that we help others and that the above suffering is needless and truly, not based on moral failing.

People don’t have an easy time changing their core beliefs. That’s why the ultra wealthy who are puppeteering the movement want to keep people isolated from each other and to stop diversity. because when you are continuously subjected to people around you who have different core beliefs, you’re more likely to change.

It’s why conservatives hate “secular life”. They’ve been trained and conditioned to so that their core beliefs of meritocracy stay stable and unchanging. It’s a manufactured cult by billionaires and it truly is difficult to get out if you have no support system. And many people in rural communities do not have that.

I’m slowly learning, as much as I fucking hate to admit it, that we have to use kindness and understanding and an olive branch. We have to literally use the modern deprogramming playbook. Plant a seed of doubt. Ask questions. Offer support and community. And people will break ranks. But they need to know that theres some sort of a safety net when they jump out of the nest.

We need to focus on building community with each other. With people we don’t like. And honestly, I know a lot of people don’t have the spoons for it. I know that it’s not fair that marginalized people have to do so much extra leg work all the damn time. I hate it and it makes me angry. But anger is easy. And anger is going to unfortunately push people further into conservatism because they feel attacked. They don’t have the empathy and capacity to understand why we’re angry and hurt because of them.

It’s the unfortunate reality of having such a widespread cult movement that society has accepted as “normal and acceptable.”

So yeah. It’s gonna suck. I’m gonna have to go deliver my extra garden produce to my conservative neighbors to plant a seed of doubt. “Oh. our transmasc neighbor isn’t a fucking monster? Huh…” Or that’s the hope. It’s not easy and I can’t expect other people to do that. But it’s the reality we’re currently working with.

also Im not checking spelling or grammar on this i’m in bed with a pressure headache and shit. lmao

[alexseanchai]

[image: tweet by JuliusGoat: "Extremist far-left ideas like 'what if we still had a breathable atmosphere in 20 yrs' and 'let's do the things it takes to get a pandemic under control' and 'religious supremacists shouldn't control our courts' and 'it would be good to educate everyone without predatory debt'"]

[copperbadge]

Men, boys, and eggs of my acquaintance, I cannot stress this enough:

Nobody worth being with will ever judge you based on your deli sandwich choices.

Sincerely, a dude who had to watch like two dozen men pretend to find vegetarian sandwiches unthinkable in order to maintain a sense of masculinity today.

[copperbadge]

The sando gender spectrum I osmoted this weekend according to a specific type of dude:

1. Roast beef is the most masculine of sandwiches. The only sandwich it is permissible to ask for by name (we did not have roast beef as an option).

2. Ham is an acceptable substitute for roast beef. There appears to be some controversy, however, over the bread options; we only had two, croissant or ancient grains roll (gluten free). Croissant is considered slightly more manly than ancient grains UNLESS you are under 20 in which case "ancient grain" sounds badass.

3. Turkey is okay, obviously not ham but if you don't like ham it's an option as long as you don't show enthusiasm for it. Definitely has to have mayo however. Mustard is a bit much. (Initial field research indicates mayo is the manliest of condiments but we have not introduced barbecue sauce into the study yet.)

4. Chicken salad is woman food. Absolutely not acceptable unless you announce loudly that it's for your wife or that she's making you for your health.

5. Vegetarian wraps require a recoil reaction or a sheepish "oh, no, no, what meats do you have?" protest. We had the veggie wraps off to one side so vegetarians could get to them more easily, and guys would come up to the wrap boxes because there was no crowd/line, then I'd say "that's veggie wraps" and they'd stagger back.

To be clear, most of the people of all genders at the event were totally fine, this was a small and specific set of guys -- mostly older dudes and (unsurprisingly) their young sons or grandsons. Maybe 20-30 people out of the 400+ attendees. But it really was both sad and a little funny to watch them unnecessarily assert their manhood using deli meat to me, a guy in a floral shirt with neon blue hair handing out box lunches at a charity event. My indifference to your masculinity is so vast it has its own international calling code, fellas.

[copperbadge]

Friends, I have volunteered in the lunch tent once more and I have new scientific findings to share regarding the Sandwich Gender Spectrum.

We still do not serve roast beef, the most toxically manly of all sandwiches, but it turns out that there is a sandwich option almost as masculine, the mention of which will preclude a certain type of dude from even asking for roast beef:

The Italian.

For those unfamiliar, an Italian sandwich in most American sandwich shops is composed of ham, capicola, salami, and sometimes pepperoni, with provolone, the usual sandwich veggies, and a drizzle of Italian dressing.

The hierarchy from ham-downwards remains undisturbed by this revelation currently rocking sandwich discourse, but new data has indicated that the Italian sandwich occupies a special place above ham and technically below roast beef but so acceptable a substitute for roast beef that I only had one guy ask me for it this time around. I would say, "We have ham, Italian, turkey, or veggie," and the Certain Kind Of Man would look skeptically at the ham and then ask for an Italian.

I am now working on my doctoral thesis in Sandwich Gender, where I will be examining whether there is a direct correlation between how masculine a sandwich is and how weirdly homoerotic the name is. I'm going to call it "I'd Like An Italian: Gender And Sexuality Between The Buns."

[tgirl-subway-the-dark-ages]

i find this very interesting

[oak1985]

I would like to submit additional data for your groundbreaking study. The deli nearest me has some sandwiches named after four private schools in the area. The boys school: roast beef. The two girls schools: vegetarian (different veggies, color coded to the school colors). The co-ed school, turkey.

[copperbadge]

I feel....I feel so peer-reviewed. Independent replication of results!

[pariztexas-deactivated20210721]

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

[apardonablemonomania-deactivate]

[randobambo]

[dedededededededededededededenne]

I hate that you photoshopped out the right arm of the dog to enhance the realism

[flyingmustachio]

@girlraisedbysharks

[catchymemes]

[catsofyore]

White Cat I. 1919. Source.

[catasters]

[heresylog]

[Image description: a post from x (the site formerly known as twitter) that reads “Every lifelong Catholic I’ve ever met is like “I think we’re supposed to give this food to poor people” and every adult convert is like, “the Archon of Constantinople’s epistle on the Pentacostine rites of the Eucharist clearly states women shouldn’t have driver’s licenses.” End description.]

[heresylog]

Orthodox too

[flyingmustachio]

I think the saddest thing about my family is that deep down, we all really do deeply love each other, and we all really do care about what's real and true. Even the meanest and most unmoored and indoctrinated of us.

We all want so desperately to enjoy being around each other and to feel safe with each other and connect with each other, but the coping mechanisms of the least healed of us hold us back.

I'm finally starting to see progress in all of us, though, it's hopeful and overwhelming and sad.

I'm so tired, it's so much work. One of the most mind shifting things I've learned in reading and learning about child psychology and human cognition in general, is that ultimately, children do not learn social skills and self regulation by what we tell them, they learn by how we behave. This seems to me to be kind of the nugget at the center of the whole philosophy of gentle parenting: being the example of respectful communication and empathy and how to heal relationships by regulating ourselves visibly, by asking for a pause to cool down when we feel ourselves getting overwhelmed, by using deep breathing and explaining to them why, and by apologizing when we fuck up.

Adults are the same. We're just a social ape species, sometimes all we need is an example and some patience: to be shown how to do it, and given time and grace to process and practice. I deal with my family the same way I handle debates: I do my best to be almost aggressively regulated, while equally aggressively genuine. If I feel unsure or anxious, I say so. If I need a sensory break I take it, if I need the music turned down I ask calmly. If I get overwhelmed and start teetering on a meltdown, I remove myself, calm myself down, and as soon as I can, apologize and explain what was going on in my mind and body. (Not apologizing for the sensory overwhelm, but for if I snap or leave suddenly, or whatever). I am very careful about what I do and don't share with them, but I try to be as open as it's safe to be. I share things I'm thinking about and processing. I do my best to be calmly, non judgementally, and securely open about my weaknesses and when I'm wrong.

The change I've seen over the past two years or so is astounding. In all of us.

The trick is balance though. I don't have enough energy to be overly involved if I don't continue seeing progress. I need to be mindful of my mental health and safety and their full adult agency. We are an ecosystem together, healing is a mutual, reciprocal endeavor. It can't work if the other person doesn't care about improving and healing, or if they're unable to. There's nothing noble about sacrificing your mental and physical health, your functionality, and yourself, for someone who can't or won't try to live pro socially. If it's ever pulling my own healing and building back, I have to pull back until it's not, even if that means ending a relationship.

[steamandcream]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[flyingmustachio]

This is an inherent experience for anyone neurodivergent. Trouble at school, trouble with peer friendships with neurotypicals, asking "too many" questions. Even the way we sit and move our bodies is constantly corrected, even into adulthood.

I know for me, a big thing was the constant message that I experienced happiness "wrong." My excitement was always "weird" and "too much," my interests were "obsessive and excessive." Even now if I let myself get actually genuinely excited about anything in front of people, they tend to think I'm angry and ranting. No, I'm just actually happy for once, the NTs just don't like how I experience joy.

Even "just" a lifetime of comments like "why are you sitting/ standing like that?" "Why are you holding your pencil like that?" "Why do you always get so loud?" "Wow, you really don't blink much, huh." "What's that face supposed to mean?" will make a person hyper aware of being observed, and instill a feeling of being somehow innately "wrong," even without any ill intent or aggression from any of the people commenting.

[florencemachines]

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

🎬 Peter Jackson

+ IMDb trivia

[minotauri]

nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions

[minotauri]

"i sent this article to my relative" "mom & i were discussing dialectical materialism" you navigate the world with such a different set of parameters than i

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[etrianodysseyobsession-hd-deact]

I have thoughts about the last part:

This is what mass consumerist art has done to the idea of selling that as a product when it's so clearly fine art. Like, with the effort she's putting in x20 for a decent wage and materials?? That's a $80,000 piece of art a member of the landed gentry would commission a year in advance for his wife on their 20th wedding anniversary. This is a priceless heirloom. How can you say "Oh yeah, I wanna buy it, you should sell them" as if you could ever turn something like this into a product??

This is fine art, period. That piece will be in a museum, or if not is should be in a museum in a hundred years.