"they ruined daeho, i don't like him anymore"
no they did not. holy shit, they do not ruin him as a PERSON.
the only thing that was ruined was how they wrote his ending and how they made gihun kill him in the most cruel and pathetic way imaginable. the writing was rushed and the way they purposefully made him look so bad for shock value was absolute bullshit, because now people are completely invalidating everything he went through and looking down on him.
daeho as an actual person was not "ruined" just because the theories about him were wrong and he didn't serve as a soldier in the marines. and for the record, i believed those theories too (and i think they wasted an incredible opportunity to explore that) but i still do NOT hate him as a person just because it turned out he lied.
he STILL had very real mental struggles and anxiety.
why are people acting like ptsd from the marines is the only thing on earth that can cause a man to have trauma and anxiety?? also, he was NOT an evil person just because he lied - he did it because he's extremely insecure and terrified. he did not have bad intentions with anything he did and he never wanted to hurt anyone. i believe he was a genuinely kind person in general, just full of so much fear.
that's why i absolutely HATE how everyone is suddenly invalidating his mental health and the panic attack he had at the end of season 2.
everyone was preaching about how mental health matters, how bad toxic masculinity is, how trauma can paralyse you, but the moment you find out the only thing he lied about was the marines, you call him a "weak coward" and invalidate the fear he went through, because in your eyes, he needs to have a "good enough reason" to be anxious and have trauma? that panic attack was still REAL, regardless of whether he lied about the marines or not. it was not a fake act. he was paralysed with fear, and it was devastating to watch because you could tell it was hurting him too.
edit: another thing that someone discovered is that the english subtitles were apparently not even entirely correct. he said he was a social service personnel, which is an alternative form of military service for those physically or mentally unstable for full military duty. this is even more proof of him struggling with his mental health.
and to the people complaining that his "personality suddenly changed", did you even pay attention to what he went through? how after his panic attack, everyone, including his friends, ignored him and turned against him without even speaking to him or communicating with him? he already felt so much guilt at the end of season 2. and then in season 3, no one asked if he was okay, no one asked him to explain what happened, NOTHING. just creepy threatening stares from gihun, which added to his guilt and anxiety. then he saw what happened to jungbae and everyone else and started gagging when he saw his body like he was going to throw up. gihun CONTINUED to stare at him (i would've lost my mind too if anyone stared at me that way without even knowing what I'VE also been through) and then literally chased and threatened him with a knife and screamed that everything is his fault. that's when daeho finally fought back and defended himself. just imagine someone putting every bit of blame onto you, giving you death stares, threatening to kill you and then screaming in your face without even THINKING about what you went through. ANYONE would be upset, angry and scared in his place. ANYONE would snap and "seem different". did you seriously expect him to keep his smile and bubbly personality after all that?
it's crazy seeing so many people so angry at him, saying he's "ruined" and basically just mocking and guilt tripping him for struggling and having a very realistic reaction in a horrendously traumatic and violent situation. ON TOP OF THAT, you should've already known he was a highly anxious person, because you saw him flinching, shaking and fidgeting even in earlier episodes in season 2 when there were loud noises or when people got too close to him, way before he had the panic attack. don't even get me started on how he FLINCHED when hyunju raised her hand next to him because he thought he was about to get hit. like think a little harder and put it together!!
i know a huge issue people have is that they didn't show and confirm this stuff to us directly by exploring his backstory (which i'm also extremely annoyed about), but it is SO obvious that daeho has mental struggles. crippling anxiety being the main one, but he's also extremely insecure about himself as a person and literally calls himself a pathetic loser (something i also think his dad probably called him growing up, which made him believe it himself). this is exactly WHY he lied to begin with, why he was pushed into getting that tattoo and making up this story, and why he was so desperate to force himself to look a certain way and be "tough" and fit in with others. if he was totally okay and happy and not insecure or struggling mentally, why on earth would he put that much effort into lying about who he is? that's what people tend to do when they're trying to hide their true selves and force themselves to conform to fit into society's expectations, and i personally think he DOES have trauma from his childhood, especially because of his dad. he briefly spoke about him (and looked so uncomfortable while doing so) and said his dad wanted him to be a "real man". toxic masculinity is a very real issue and something that affects so many people. many men suffer life-long issues because of their own families due to abuse and extreme pressure to conform and be "real men".
and you know what, let's say he didn't have childhood trauma or anxiety or insecurities, because i already know people are gonna say "that wasn't even confirmed since they didn't show his backstory". even if he went into the games completely happy and carefree with no fears at all, the games alone are enough to traumatise ANYONE for life. imagine witnessing all that horror and bloodshed. you wouldn't be the same either, so every bit of fear and desperation that he showed was completely understandable either way, regardless of what his backstory was.
that's why comments like "i can't believe he lied after i defended him so hard thinking he had ptsd from the marines. he was just scared the whole time" are absolutely ridiculous. like are you kidding me? so what if he was "just scared the whole time"? is that not valid when you're stuck in sadistic survival games? how are you seriously holding that against him and saying you don't like him anymore when he had EVERY reason to be scared?
daeho's fear, anxiety and desperation are the most realistic and human reactions imaginable in the situation that he's in (and that's just during the games. imagine all the other stuff he possibly suffered BEFORE the games too if he did actually have a bad childhood). and STILL, even with all that, he never deliberately hurt anyone because that's not the kind of person he is. yeah, he lied because he's insecure. he wanted to fit in and make friends and feel safe. why the hell are people acting like that's the most outrageous and disgusting thing a character has done in this show and saying he deserved to be strangled by gihun for that? like are you actually kidding? gihun didn't even have that much anger towards people who murdered others in cold blood! IT MAKES NO SENSE. also daeho could NOT have predicted that gihun was going to come up with that stupid plan in the first place, so how does him lying about being in the marines at the beginning have anything to do with what happened at the end of season 2? he never expected any of that to happen.
so no, i'm not mad at daeho. i don't feel "betrayed" by him and i'm absolutely not going to call him a "weak cowardly loser" for having valid fears. i'm only betrayed by the shitty writing and how they didn't even bother showing a backstory or EXPLAINING to people more about mental health (that would've been such an important topic to explore ESPECIALLY in this show. same with toxic masculinity if they went more into his backstory, but nope). unfortunately most viewers are incapable of deep thinking and just see what's on the surface, and since the writers tried to make daeho look "bad and desperate" at the end, that's all they're going to see.
suddenly turning against a man for struggling mentally and having realistic human reactions is insanely weird to me (especially because everyone criticising him now only took him seriously when they thought he was in the marines, but not anymore. it's like they can't seem to understand that sometimes human beings just have anxiety, even if there isn't a "specific reason" directly explained to them).
anyways kang daeho i will love and defend you always i don't care