we're all we got in this world (when it spins, when it swirls)
thangyu kids au headcanons
The first time Yeowool calls him “dad”, Subong freezes. Did he hear that correctly? Dad? Yeowool looks up at him with wide, adoring eyes, and Subong tears up. Hearing that little word come out of his daughter’s mouth makes him rethink everything he ever thought about family.
Right after an accident during which both Namgyu and Subong were high on ket and risked dropping Yeowool from the stairs, Subong decided to get clean once and for all. It sucked ass and it was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do, but it was her life at risk, and he couldn’t forgive himself if anything happened to her.
Namgyu got clean when she was one year old. It took him longer, but Subong stood by him through all of it. It was ugly and it definitely put a strain on their relationship, but after being one month sober, Namgyu cried for the first time when Yeowool reached for him, unprompted, and hugged him. Worth it.
When in a bad mood, Subong tends to yell, so he often leaves the room until he’s calmer to prevent himself from taking it out on her. Namgyu is meaner instead, and sometimes lets some petty comments slip; he corrects himself right after, telling her he didn’t mean them (even when he did). If they happen to argue, they try to do it away from her, though it’s not always in their control.
Subong likes to watch Yeowool fall asleep in her bed. He likes to do the same with Namgyu.
After surviving the games, Subong gave up on his rapping career once and for all, and had nothing to do with music for over a year and a half. Only after he adopted Yeowool did he find some inspiration again: a melody here and there, some bars popping in his head when he least expected it, a slow beat he tapped on the cradle while she fell asleep. Sleeping beauty’s the title of the still unreleased new single he’s been working on in the last weeks.
When she’s around 2, they get triggered by some of the games she plays with other kids at the playground. They both thought they’d left the Squid Games in the past, but the living nightmare they went through keeps haunting them and stains what could have been some really nice memories with Yeowool.
Any version of Red Light, Green Light has Subong freezing alongside his daughter: he knows there’s no doll tracking his movements, no sniper hiding in the walls ready to put a bullet through his head if he as much as moved a finger. But he can’t help it. He stops breathing every time, watching from afar as Yeowool plays, unaware of his struggle. One time, after she trips on her feet and get eliminated, Subong almost faints: his vision becomes spotty, darkening at the edges, and even though he so badly wants to run, he can’t move, he can’t protect her, his mind’s racing too fast for his body to handle– when he comes to again, Namgyu’s pressing a wet cloth against his forehead, ready to reassure him.
Namgyu is triggered the most by spinners or any sorts, so if Yeowool’s friends come over and bring them, he leaves the room before he can cause a scene.
After living without them for several months, Subong gets nightmares again. Cold terrors, sleep paralysis, the whole shenanigans. His daylight’s anxieties seeps into the night, making him relieve the four most terrifying days of his life.
Namgyu becomes more anxious too, even if he hides it better. He takes on more shifts only to exhaust himself, because, if he’s overworked and overwhelmed, he doesn’t have the time or the energy to worry excessively about Yeowool’s safety. He knows she’s out of danger, he knows, but there’s still a little part of his brain screaming at him for leaving her unsupervised on a playground where anything could happen.
Besides the everlasting fear from the games, Namgyu is still more protective of her than Subong is. Or, at least, he shows it more. He’s got no problem bullying the mean kids that bully her, calling them names and threatening to teach them the manners their parents clearly failed to. Subong has to pull him away and apologize to the kids and their families from time to time.
For her third birthday, they buy her an orange bicycle. When she’s brave enough to agree to remove the training wheels, Namgyu takes it upon himself to teach her how to ride properly. He’s good at comforting her after she falls and scrapes her knees and palms, promising her an ice cream as a later reward. It takes them over two hours and a whole lot of sweat and muttered cuss words on his side, but in the end Yeowool rides on her own in the little courtyard under their apartment.
Subong brings her to the basketball court every now and then; there’s very few people in the morning, especially in the middle of the week, so whenever he doesn’t have to work he takes the chance to shoot a few hoops with her. He bought her a lighter ball, so that they can practice together. She’s awful at it, but she seems to have fun anyway. That’s all that matters.
Every third Saturday of the month they call a sitter to spend the night, so they can have dinner together and fool around in the shitty motels around Pentagon. Keeping the spark alive or something.
Math homework is a nightmare for both Yeowool and Subong, who gets more frustrated than her and ends up yelling at the book, so it’s Namgyu who usually helps her with it.
Subong buys her the flashiest, most masculine clothes he can find, while Namgyu prefers dull colors and simple patterns. He reserves the right to veto three outfit Subong choses for her per week and prevents them from leaving the house unless she changes.
Because of their shifts, Subong prepares breakfast and dinner, Namgyu makes lunch.
She’snot allowed to play video games until she’s 4, but once she is Subong starts playing Fortnight with her at least once a week, while Namgyu sits between them on the couch and reads magazines.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the bittersweet sentiments of a past so far it feels like another life, but Subong needs to focus on the present from now on, for her sake, for Namgyu’s, and for his own.
