Bruce laid in their bed staring up at the ceiling. His mind ran with every word Clark had spoken to him, but the one thing that haunted him the most was the way he tried so hard to hide how much he still loved him.
Bruce knew Clarkās every little quirk, and one of them was how easy he was to read when he didnāt want to be. Clark had never been one to hide his love. Now it felt as if just the feeling of it in his chest disgusted him. Bruce didnāt sob hysterically the way everyone thought he would. Rather, he bathed himself in darkness and let his tears slip silently.
Perhaps Clark had been right. Perhaps he did have control issues. Bruce would be the first to admit to his own faults, but having it thrown in his face by the one man that had always accepted him was a kind of pain that couldnāt be protected by Kevlar.
He didnāt know how long he had stayed there nor how much time had even passed outside. He called the jail frequently to check on Clark and see if he could visit. He knew he could visit whenever he wantedābut it was not about what he wanted. Clark didnāt want to see him. He had made that abundantly clear. From his spot on their bed, covered in Clarkās clothes, he had been able to pull some strings and get the court to put Clark on house arrest until his trial.
Clark was coming home today, but he didnāt have it in him to get up. Clark wouldnāt be coming into the room anyways. He had sent word through Gordon that heād be spending his house arrest in the spare room. Bruce hated it. He hated that he couldnāt lay in Clarkās arms at night anymore. He hated that he couldnāt greet him at the door with a kiss.
He hated that Clark hated him now.
There was a knock on the door. He didnāt startle nor answer, but the voice spoke anyways. āMaster Bruce, Master Kent has arrived.ā Alfred was kind enough to give him a reason to finally get out of bedāhe knew the old butler had been trying to weeks now. It didnāt work, however, as he heard Clarkās gruff voice say from down the hall. āLet him be, Alfred. You know Bruce would much rather wallow in his own grief than try to come to terms with his wrong-doings.ā This are him flinch. It made him hold Clarkās shirt closer to his chest.
Bruce admitted that what he did mightāve been done things the wrong way, but he didnāt regret it. Rather, he regretted getting caught, and perhaps thatās what pissed Clark off the most.
Clark shut the door of the guest room behind him. The last time he had stepped foot in here was when they had first bought the house. A part of him wanted to beg Bruce to go back to the manor with Alfred, but another part of him prickled at the idea of Bruce being away from him when he couldnāt leave.
The bed dipped as he sat on the edge, his suit a mess of ash and dust from that day. He wanted to change out of it, but all his clothes were in the other room. The one currently occupied by the very man he both wanted to avoid and needed to see. It was confusing. He hated being confused.
With a sigh, he ran his hands through his hair, tugging at his roots as he processed the past few weeks. He had a lot of time to think while he was stuck in that cell. He thought about everything he had said to Bruce when he came to visit and what he would say once he came to visit again. Except, Bruce was too good at listening to him when he knew itād hurt. So, he never showed up. He did as he was told and never came for another visit.
That probably was what angered Clark more. He knew he had said some harsh thingsāthings he meant and things he didnāt. The really issue was: what did Bruce take as the truth?
He knew his husband better than anyone. He knew Bruce would take anything and bury it deep in his chest until he couldnāt breathe. He could imagine him laid in their bed, face tear-stained, as he held one of his shirts close to him. But, as much as the imagine hurt to think about, he couldnāt bring himself to go in there and comfort him. He couldnāt tell him everything would be okay because it wouldnāt. He couldnāt tell him he forgives him because he still didnāt.
Someone knocked on the door, lightly, meaning it wasnāt Alfred. āGo back to our room, Bruce.ā He sighed, but Bruce spoke instead of retreating. His voice was steady. āI just came to leave you some of your things.ā A silence rang between them as Clark stood up and walked to the door. He stopped with his hand on the handle, sighing as he leaned his head against the wood. āI can leave, Clark. You wonāt have to worry about seeing me around.ā He couldnāt see him, but he could tell Bruce had stepped closer to the door. āYou can move around the house freely. You wonāt ever have to see me again.ā Clark was smart enough to know Bruce didnāt mean āfor nowā.
Bruce meant forever. Bruce was giving him an out.
āStay.ā He answered without thought. The idea of never having Bruce in his lifeāof the last time they ever saw each other being Clark accusing Bruceāpained him. This couldnāt be the end. They just needed time. āJust stay, Bruce. Donāt go anywhere, please.ā Bruce didnāt answer for a second as he set down Clarkās things next to the door.
āIāll be in our room then. Whenever you want to talk again.ā Bruce offered the closed door, staring at it, hoping thatād itād open and Clark would let him fall into his arms again. But it never did. So, he turned and walked back down the hall.