sunshine child.

"sick of meaningless conversations, it’s like living for other people’s expectations." ryoo 'j.oo' jeongsoo; twenty-four; charm's vocal unit leader & lead vocal.

[fmdjoohyung]

august schedule thread: for @fmdjoo

changwon was exhausted by the time him and the other members of charm reached their hotel in los angeles, but the lead dancer couldn’t lay his mind to rest just yet. the flight to their destination had been long, and most of the other boys had tried to get some sleep, but changwon’s fear of heights prevented him from relaxing. however, changwon had noticed that he wasn’t the only one who evaded sleep on the plane– jeongsoo had been awake for most of the flight as well, nervous and fidgeting in his seat across the aisle from changwon.

normally, it wasn’t something changwon would care much about. if someone else wanted to stay awake when they could be getting some rest, that wasn’t his problem, as long as it didn’t affect the rest of the group onstage. but this wasn’t the first time changwon had noticed the elder acting like this– and what made it more concerning was it was always when jeongsoo thought no one was looking. as soon as the flight landed and the others woke up, jeongsoo was back to acting like nothing was wrong. he’d seen it happen a few times, and it was clear to changwon now that something was up.

when they arrived at the hotel, the first thing changwon wanted to do was go to sleep, but he knew he had to clear his mind before finally getting some rest. he set his stuff down in the room he was staying in, not even bothering to unpack before hurrying to the room jeongsoo was staying in. 

“jeongsoo-hyung,” changwon called as he knocked on the door, not even waiting until the elder opened the door to speak. “can i talk to you?”

[fmdjoo]

jeongsoo doesn’t fear clowns. he doesn’t fear darkness. he doesn’t fear heights. he doesn’t fear ghosts. he doesn’t fear cults or aliens or monsters. he doesn’t fear death. he doesn’t fear many things. he takes life by the horns and he pushes back, kicks doors down and he keeps moving forward and forward and forward. ryoo jeongsoo doesn’t fear anything common. but he’s not fearless. 

jeongsoo fears something, but the thing he fears the most is not being good enough. he fears not measuring up. he fears letting people down. he fears not being strong enough for others. he fears and he fears and he fears and he hides it, all of it. he was already caught by daisuke, was already called out too. all he could do was accept that he was feeling overwhelmed, that he wasn’t feeling his best but that he would try his best to get better. 

that hasn’t happened yet, and the trip to los angeles only made things worse. he thinks, however, that trying to sleep it off will help him, even if it means skipping dinner. thus, once he’s finished with his skincare routine, he’s getting ready to get in bed when he hears a knock on his door, quickly identifying the voice of changwon on the other side of it. right off the bat, his stomach flips. not because of him, but because he immediately enters ‘dad’ mode, wondering if there’s something wrong with the younger boy. he’s quick to open the door. 

“changwonnie! of course you can.” he steps aside, closing the door behind his friend, hands on his shoulders to gently push him further into the room, “you know you can always talk to me about everything! is there anything worrying you? are you okay? do you...” he walks over to the mini-fridge in the room, “want a drink or something? what’s going on?” 

[fmdjoo]

fmdjinsun‌:

training had become a routine for jinsun. he was so used to doing it all that he had gotten good at tuning out how monotonous it could become, focus solely on being the best he could be, prove himself and that there was a reason he was there for so long. he had seen so many come and go, that he had begun keeping to himself more, not willing to risk getting close to people who would only leave or take what he viewed as his spot in the next group. 

it was evident that he was intimidating to a lot of people, especially newer trainees, and he didn’t exactly mind it. it saved him a lot of trouble and a lot of talking, though being able to practice his korean wasn’t always the end of the world as he still struggled some. but there was the occasional one or two who would make an effort to get close to him, befriend him. sometimes, if he was in a good mood, he’d let them. jeongsoo wasn’t exactly that type. he was just sort of everybody’s friends before they knew it, as far as jinsun could tell. he was talkative, willing to speak to just about anyone — if he were honest, he’d say he was a touch jealous of the other boy. 

and when he spoke to jin, he simply didn’t know hot to shut him down, be cold enough to get him to leave him alone. he wasn’t sure if jeongsoo would even take the hint if he picked up on it. so he found himself occasionally answering questions about grammar or synonyms, punctuation and the like. “fridge is slang,” he answered, after a long pause of silence, debating whether or not to actually help. “it’s more common.” after hardly a glance at the notebook he closed his eyes and leaned back. “they’re regional terms. so long as you know one, you’ll be fine.”

“oooh~ ish.” he makes an excited noise, hand happily writing down on his notebook. “you know so much! it’s always important to know. i love learning, i was good in school.” he explains, already thinking about the upcoming rant that will come out from him.

it’s not exactly like jeongsoo thinks people don’t mind his rants or conversations, he knows there must be a moment they will feel annoyed or just tired of hearing him yap away. but there were certain people he was adamant on getting to know, adamant on trying to get a conversation from. of course, jinsun was one of them. he always thought he was a very interesting guy, he seemed very smart and knew he was definitely more experienced than most of the guys in that practice room. at the same time, he doesn’t talk too much and he’s determined to change that, even if just between them.

“but i never paid much attention in english class. you know there was this talent club where you would go to learn things and i was always in it so i was so anxious about going there that i didn’t pay attention to class. now i regret it.” he flips through his pages, there are scribbles and notes about many other english words, accompanied by random notes on how to make sentences and such. “i think it’s very important we learn other languages. for the fans!” he pauses, “ah, well, i guess if i even make it into the next lineup. but if not, there’s always next time.” he’s confident about it, that’s for sure. “what about you? what other languages would you like to learn, hm?”

[fmdjoo]

@charmj.oo – RYOO JEONGSOO [ 839,459 LIKES ]

charmj.oo jawsie~jawsie, drive safely jawsie~ !!!

[ VIEW ALL 23,156 COMMENTS ]

joojoolove baby and baby shark itscharmbitch HE PUT A SEATBELT ON THE PLUSHIE STOP jeongsoosss you’re so cute omggggg also STOP HURTING YOUR HAIR PLS I BEG j.ooj.oos the fucking devastation man holy fuck j.oosquad i can’t tell who’s more adorable but i can absolutely tell who’s more fuc- nvm charmupdates whoever ends up marrying this man.......... i want to fight you joosearrings honestly wtf also why is no one talking about the new hair COLOR charmiiiiiing baby your hair was blond 2 weeks ago and green last week, what goes on  clapclapclapclaps the fact i have to sit here and deal with the idea there’s only one (1) jeongsoo in this world and i have to settle marrying someone who isn’t this one (1) jeongsoo I’M FUCKING SICK

[ADD A COMMENT…] 4 minutes ago・See Translation

[fmdjoo]

rosexfmd‌:

 The girl turned gently to the side, viewing by the corner of her eye his reaction to her actions making her smile. Warmness spreading through her at the sight of him being so close to her, she wasn’t lying when she wrote about a whole freaking zoo being released on her stomach as she was feeling it on that exact moment and if she was honest, she loved the feeling. Him holding her close or playing with her hair, being with him was just right, it was natural.

Jangmi nodded to tell him she understood what he was feeling yet she didn’t have words of comfort, she was only daughter and only had sisters when she was part of aria and when the time came to move out, Mari and her were always at each others homes so it was easier for her to let go of the dorm. “That’s really nice of him” She commented with a smile decorating her lips before jeongsoo moved away making her miss the warmth he provided. Her eyes followed him to his new place, the gentle smile never leaving her face as she stared fondly at him for a couple of seconds. “I know you will, Jeongsoo" The female spoke with such confidence in him that even impressed herself before her laughter filled the room “It’s not whining Mister, it’s bonding time or something” She tapped his leg with her finger with each word on a playful way before returing to her food, with how easily distracted she was by him it was surprising the food wasn’t burnt yet. 

“Work…work was good, we had a summer comeback with wag-zak, did you hear it?” Her brown orbs moved from the food to him for a second, to see his response since she wasn’t even sure if he had time to do so as CHARM had been busy touring on Japan. “ i know Aria is maturing and i loved I’m so sick but honestly I love our goofy, innocent songs just as much so I’m happy we can do the two styles.” Jangmi spoke while a bright smile displayed on her features “And me…I’m good, quite happy to have you finally home.”

CHARM is busy, that is true. so busy even jeongsoo himself is neatly surprised he had the chance to spend a single day with jangmi. but that’s how it’s always been, he could stay home, nap, eat food, waste his time doing whatever but instead he’s here, seeing one of his best friends. though, he can always admit that there might be something more between them, the thing is: no one dares take another step. sure, jeongsoo could, because he’s never been one to shy away from things but quite frankly, he often thinks about how precious she is and how sad it would be if they were in a relationship and work got so overwhelming it would get between them. the last thing he wanted to think about was a broken relationship and subsequently friendship because of it.

but it sucks, it sucks because he stares at her, orbs admiring her every move. so delicate, so gentle. he can’t help but keep his fingers running through her hair, just playing with it because physical contact is important and as long as he’s experiencing it with her, it feels amazing. it feels, so, so good. 

“i did hear it, of course! i know we’re busy but i can always take a small break to try and catch up.” the company usually wanted them to be on the know about other boy group’s music, but obviously, jeongsoo would always take advantage of that and say he was just as interested in the doings of girl groups. quite frankly, just to keep up with jangmi. “my sweet little rose, you’ve done so well. i think the song is good, it’s fun! who doesn’t love fun music? i’ve yet to know someone who doesn’t.” his eyes move down to the food, then back at her, “really? me being home makes you happy?” he asks, rhetorically. “i’m glad because being with you makes me happy too. i’ve been counting down the days for this. as pathetic as that sounds.” and he stares at her, knowing well of how careful he has to be with his impulses.

thus, he’s quick to snap out of it, “uh, should i help you set up the table?”

[fmdjoo]

fmdguanting‌:

It was endearing how Jeongsoo tried to take a picture of everything, a smile tugging at the corners of Guanting’s mouth whenever he stopped their trek around the Han River just to take a picture of some picturesque sight he had seen. Ting had never really been on for photography or picture taking. He could appreciate a pretty picture when one was shown to him, but apart from that, he didn’t pay pictures and stuff of the like much attention. He made sure to look at all the pictures his older friend took though, because if they were important to him, then they were important to Ting. 

“Hm..” Ting pursed his lips, pretending to think about it for a moment, before he nodded his head in agreement. “I think I can agree with that.” Although he knew that in the future, if they ever got ice cream or any kind of food again, he would try to pay for it like he always did. That was just the kind of person that he was. He liked to do things for the people he cared about, especially for the people who were the current object of his affections. His eyes lit up when he suggested that they take a picture with one another, and he immediately moved so that he was standing next to Joo. He wrapped his arms around him and rested his head on his shoulders, slouching down a little bit so he was closer to the other’s height. “I’m ready when you are!”

jeongsoo remembers it clearly, every time someone tells him he should befriend this and that and this other person and that other person and so on. everyone knows how social he is, how many friends he has. the company believed that him getting some buddies (read: out of pure convenience) would work out in his favor greatly. but he thought that was bullshit, because friendships aren’t like that, they’re never like that, not in his heart. and he knows if he uploads the photo, fans will go crazy. of course, there are the occasional fandom wars, but sometimes it’s a good thing seeing two of boys from two popular groups being friends. 

too bad, he thinks, because he won’t upload it. he’ll be damned if he allows the company try to put its dirty hands on it. so he snaps not just once, nor twice, but several shots. same pose, different face each time. when he’s done, he opens his gallery and shuffles through them, “we look good! which isn’t surprising at all. i mean, look at us.” he smiles at ting, tilting his head, “let’s get going though! you mentioned ice cream and i can’t contain my excitement. triple chocolate? oh, here i come.” he shoves the phone back into his pocket. “so you guys have been pretty busy right?” he asks, hands neatly tucked in the front pockets of his hoodie, “are you releasing anything new this month?” 

[fmdjoo]

fmdyuanjun‌:

another annoyed huff fell from the younger’s lips. yuanjun felt angry and frustrated with how he responded to the whole situation, it just felt so dramatic and silly in his own eyes. “i know it’s just a little bit of a rough patch, all couples have them, it’s not the end of the world but it just really fucking sucks.” he sniffled quietly, trying to blink back any more tears welling up in his eyes. “i am being stupid though.” yuanjun protested, a scoff following his words. “i know jihae is having a hard time too and that while unity is like… five times as busy as us at the moment. i should- i don’t know, be doing something, making it easier on the both of us.” his voice grew thin and shaky again, his hands balling into fists by his side in the hope he’d somehow get a grip on his emotions and would stop crying already, unfortunately, it wasn’t that simple. “what use is there in crying about all of this like a little baby? it’s so useless.” yuanjun clenched his jaw in frustration, he was so sick and tired of all the tears already. “if jihae knew about this he’d just worry more, i don’t need to load even more stress onto him.”

jeongsoo stares at him and watches the internal struggle going on inside yuanjun. it sucks, doesn’t it? the whole situation and feeling like you’re not doing much to help. it does make jeongsoo feel like complete, absolute garbage. but such is life sometimes. 

so he sighs. “you’re not being stupid, come on. i already told you this is fine, if you didn’t cry? you’d feel way more frustrated and angry at everything. crying helps a lot with stressful and sad situations and you should allow yourself to be vulnerable. why are you beating yourself up so much about it?” almost as if he hated having emotions, or rather, conveying those emotions. “jihae doesn’t need to know anything about this. he only needs to know that you love him, that you miss him and that hopefully you’ll be able to see each other soon. that’s all. but crying and letting all of this out while being in the arms of your favorite hyung...” he pauses, so yuanjun knows he’s just joking around with him, “can stay between us. both so he doesn’t worry and so the rest of the guys don’t feel offended because i’m your favorite. right?” he hopes he can bring some light into the situation with a small joke, he can only try, right?

[fmdjoo]

fmddaisuke‌:

“You’re one of the leaders, hyung. Just one of them. That means that responsibility is split. You don’t have to do everything yourself, no one expects you to be the best at everything and to take care of everyone.” He pursed his lips for a moment, taking some time to think about how to properly word his thoughts before he continued speaking. “You’re the leader of the vocal unit. You’re supposed to make sure that things in our unit run smoothly. That’s it. You’re psyching yourself out. Just because people come to you and ask for your help doesn’t mean that you have to be strong all the time. There’s thirteen of us for a reason. If you were meant to be strong and resilient all the time, then you would be a solo artist.” Daisuke had never really been the most comforting person, his words awkward and a little bit too straight to the point, but he had always had good intentions whenever he did try to help others and give advice. “I’m not going to sit here and try to convince you that you deserve your spot, because no matter what I say, you’re going to continue thinking that you don’t. It’s going to take more than me telling you that for you to actually believe it. What I am going to tell you is that you’re a very important member of our team and everything you do contributes to our success. You’re needed here, whether you think you are or not.”

jeongsoo remains quiet and allows daisuke to talk, everything he says touching his heart in a very soothing way. it’s funny, it’s true that his friend is pretty straightforward and pretty good at getting his point across; perhaps anyone else would feel a bit offended or annoyed. but that’s not jeongsoo’s case, and it’s not because he understands every person has a different way to be and this is daisuke’s and he’s trying his best to comfort him. and he does. “yah, i sure am just one of them. bless hanbyul, i don’t know how he does it.” talking to him had admittedly crossed his mind, but that was kind of the thing too: he didn’t want to add more pressure on his shoulders. no need to. he reaches out, resting his hand on daisuke’s shoulder, “thank you for your words. honestly i promise i don’t want to sit here and listen to people try to convince me i’m deserving and whatnot, or that i want to be praised because that’s really not me. but hearing that does make me feel better. so thank you.” he is needed and jeongsoo takes those words to heart. “don’t tell anyone about this. i know we already discussed that but, please.” there’s a small pause, “and... i’m sorry. i know how unusual this is so... yeah, i didn’t mean to get all emotional like that. it really wasn’t my intention.”

[fmdjoo]

rosexfmd‌:

Those were the days that Jangmi loved the most. Those lazy days when she stayed at home with someone she hold dear in her heart, be it her aria sisters or her baby Mari or her charming jeongsoo. The later being the case that day, since the pair couldn’t spend his birthday as they wished, the girl had offered to make a meal, only for him, as a gift to make up for the situation and their busy schedules. True to be told, Jangmi was the human definition of happiness when he agreed.

 A happy smile decorated her features as she felt the closeness of Jeongsoo, his warm breath hitting her shoulder and neck as he spoke making a set of quiet giggles escape through her mouth as he changed his position before she focused her attention once again on the food she was making and on himself, on his words. Jangmi could understand what he was saying and the way he felt, after all she had been through that a couple of years ago and she remembered clearly how she didn’t wish to leave the place that had been her home for so long much less the girl that had become part of her daily routines, that became sisters (especially the youngest of them, Mari) yet she had to leave when time passed. “You are not picky, you just want to stay. That’s completely understandable” She spoke while moving her hand to his hair, gently passing her fingers through it “Relax” Jangmi’s voice was soft as she talked to him, before her hand moved once again to rest against his hand on her arm, thumb rubbing on a soothing manner. 

 “You still have time, search for it on your own pace. There is no rush” The girl suggested with a soft smile for him “and if you are not ready to live alone then you can move with one or two of the boys.” Jangmi spoke, telling him the ideas that appeared on her mind to try to help him. “Or live near each other, that way the change won’t be so harsh and sudden.”

there’s a certain calmness that he feels when he’s with her. it’s always been like this, since the very first day they met. she’s warm, she’s sweet, she brings comfort to his heart, to his soul, to his nerves. lately, jeongsoo has been pretty on edge, but as soon as he stepped into her place? everything else was secondary. there’s no doubt there’s a special kind of magic within her and jeongsoo allows himself to feel, to bask in it, to be happy with every second of it. he wonders if she feels the same way.

“i know, i know,” he says, closing his eyes when he feels her fingers through his hair, it’s just so soothing. “i just feel like i’m not used to being alone. you know i grew up with my sisters and shortly after they all left, i became a trainee. i’m so used to having people around me, i feel... out of my comfort zone. not scared, just... like it’s odd, you know? i don’t know how to explain it.” but he appreciates the advice she gives him. it helps him, it reminds him to take a breath and relax. just like she said, there’s time for him, there’s no need to rush at all.

“ah, you know, duri-hyung told me i could stay at his place. but,” he shrugs, stepping back, coming over to jump and sit on the counter, right where he can easily admire her as she cooks, “i really have to do this on my own. i have to shake away whatever i’m feeling and just go for it.” reaching out, he takes a strand of her hair between his fingers, playing with it. “i’m done whining now. tell me how’s everything going with you? you know, at work and stuff.”

[fmdjoo]

IDEAL CONCEPT;

the big fan of electronic and upbeat music that he is; he always hoped CHARM would go for something like that when they debuted. of course, to go hand in hand with that concept, he always thought they could have a rather sexy, strong, eclectic and powerful image. alas, CHARM debuted with a much more different sound and a much more different image but he never hated it. though, he still hopes this will change someday.

[fmdjoo]

TRACKS;

° cactus; MARS ° number nine; T-ara ° superhuman; Unity ° sugar free; T-ara ° rainbow; Planet Shiver feat. Crush ° all mine; f(x) ° fallin’ - Alien ° black suit - Super Junior

BONUS TRACKS;

° not giving up on love; Armin Van Buuren vs Sophie Ellis Bextor ° titanium; David Guetta feat. Sia

IN A DIFFERENT WORLD;

jeongsoo has always been a huge fan of hard-hitting electronic music. this was basically his ideal kind of sound before debut. although he doesn’t dislike CHARM’s music whatsoever, and is actually a big fan of their humble beginnings, he’s always wanted to lean towards much more upbeat sounds. this is one of the big reasons why he’s had much more input in CHARM’s music, trying to influence his personal taste in their melodies. soon he hopes, he’ll be able to reach that ultimate desired sound; until then he still bops hard to these songs.

[fmdjoo]

trainee days; flashback thread with: @fmdjinsun where: bc ent. practice room. when: april, 2013. time: somewhere between 3 and 4 PM.

one would believe training gets less tiring and difficult as time goes by; but oh boy, was jeongsoo wrong about it. days and hours only get more and more difficult, more tiring, more exhausting. somehow, his body manages to go through all of it. the boys have been through tough, rigorous training, so much he has watched many of them drop out, end their contracts early. it’s been sad, seeing so many of them leave but he understands the kind of pressure they went through; because he felt it too. yet, he kept moving forward, for some reason he quite couldn’t understand yet. 

so there he is, it’s been a rather exhausting day, like any other. most guys get along well, but he can’t say everyone is super friendly. jeongsoo though, he is very friendly, too friendly sometimes. so finding people to connect with could either go really well or it could be a bumpy (if not impossible) road. close to the door he had spotted choi jinsun, a guy he was familiar with and had approached several times before. he knows a few things about him, one? that he had been training far longer than many of the guys here. the other? he was a foreigner. 

jeongsoo had never shied away from approaching him, to either talk and mostly to ask for advice on how to work on his english, just as he did again. “i’m a lost cause,” he says, notebook and pen with him, “if a refrigerator is a refrigerator, why do you also call it a fridge?” on his notebook, he has a list of furniture he wrote down, in english. some words are choppy and some, he could admit he used the internet to look them up. “is the refrigerator the same as a fridge? or what is the difference? ah,” he points at another word on his notebook, “some people call it a sofa and other people call it a co-uch? a couch. why is english vocabulary so confusing?! why can’t everything just have one word? wouldn’t it be easier?” 

[fmdjoo]

durifmd‌:

⎿ message sent to joojoo! 🌟 ⏋: ⏤ do you think they’d go for it? :o ⏤ hehe that would be so much fun! 🙈 serving looks 🙈 ⏤ it wouldn’t be bothering me, hehe ~ ^_^

{ joo → duri } hmmmm... 👀👀👀 { joo → duri } well if we’re ever serious about it, we could try to find out if they would! { joo → duri } holding you to that, hyung! ^^

[fmdjoo]

where: song jangmi’s apartment. when: august 13th. time: 7:28 PM. with: @rosexfmd

there’s no stars in the sky and that’s the rain’s fault. it softly hits against the windows of jangmi’s apartment and it’s soothing. jeongsoo has always liked the sound, the scent and the sight of rain, it was quite possibly his favorite kind of weather. then again, he was also a big lover of warm, happy, sunny days. he couldn’t even complain about them. 

now here they are, days after charm’s tour in japan ended and days after they had filmed the music video for their upcoming japanese comeback. they couldn’t quite spend his birthday together as they had originally planned, but this is absolutely better than nothing and jeongsoo thinks he will take any opportunity that he can to spend some time with one of his closest friends; jangmi.

sweet, beautiful and kind jangmi. she has the sweetest smile he’s ever seen and he’s known this since many, many years ago, since the very first day they met. but they’re just friends, or... something. proof of it comes in the form of this, of jangmi cooking something for them and jeongsoo standing behind her, chin on her shoulder, hands on her arms. it’s intimate, but they’re just friends, right? “and as i was telling you, i did go see two apartments but i didn’t like them. i think i’m too picky when it comes down to that. but i fully blame it on me being used to the dorm. now i don’t know how to detach myself from it.” he explains, letting out a frustrated sigh as he rests his forehead on her shoulder, “yaaah, this is so frustrating. i don’t know what to do anymore. i know i have to move out but i don’t know why i haven’t already.”

[fmdjoo]

durifmd‌:

⎿ message sent to joojoo! 🌟 ⏋: ⏤ we can be a baking and cooking duo ^_^ i’ll be the chef and you’ll be the baker ~ ⏤ really?? cooking is so easy ^_^ it’s also really relaxing! at least for me ~ ⏤ it’s no problem! ^_^ i’m glad it makes you feel better! just remember that you’re not alone! ⏤ don’t worry, i won’t! ~

{ joo → duri } we should throw this idea at bc, can you imagine? :D { joo → duri } our own cooking show! serving food, dessert and looks ;) { joo → duri } i know i’m not alone because i have my favorite hyung to bother ^^

[fmdjoo]

fmddaisuke‌:

Like always, Daisuke listened without interrupting, wanting to get the full story and understand what Jeongsoo was trying to convey through his words. It wasn’t exactly easy, especially because he didn’t like hearing about the people he cared about suffering. It seemed as though Jeongsoo had been holding that in for quite some time, and Daisuke could empathize with that. He was used to bottling up his own feelings and emotions. Apparently so was the older male, but it was starting to get to him. He reached out a hand and laid it on the other’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Thanks for sharing that with me.. I know it’s hard to share stuff like that.” Daisuke liked to think that after being in a relationship with Sung, and after being with the other CHARM members for quite some time, that he was getting a little better at comforting people. “You know you don’t have to carry that rock by yourself, right? That’s why there’s twelve other guys here to help you.” 

it is hard. speaking up about the one thing you wish you could keep to yourself and bury it deep inside your heart is absolutely difficult and it’s affecting him way too much. on one hand, he feels a bit relieved, that for now? he’s finally setting himself free from that, that he’s being honest about it, that he’s speaking up. on the other, he feels like he’s failing as one of the leaders he’s supposed to be and he hates it. “i get that, i do. it’s just... it’s difficult.” he looks up, and tilts his head, “i feel like i have this big responsibility and i was told this same thing before debut. the managers saw how so many of the younger guys relied on me, to be there for them when difficult times rolled on. i was chosen as one of the leaders because they saw that in me and many of them believe so too. they come to me and they look for my help when they’re sad or when they’re not feeling well for whatever reason. i have to be strong, i want to be strong. but sometimes... it’s rough. it’s hard.” to carry your problems and the problems of others on your shoulders? it sure is. “i don’t know how to change that. sometimes i feel like i don’t deserve this spot, when i feel weak, it’s how i feel; undeserving.” he doesn’t touch on the topic about him working on the music CHARM releases, because honestly? that’s his pride and that’s his joy and he’ll never get tired of doing so. being an emotional support though? that’s surely a whole different story.

[fmdjoo]

rosexfmd‌:

[ Rose –> Joo ♡ ] ♡ [ Rose –> Joo ♡ ] Okay, I trust you :p [ Rose –> Joo ♡ ] Oh really? :3  [ Rose –> Joo ♡ ]  I’m sure that if I keep reading such things I will still be a little tomato when he comes home… [ Rose –> Joo ♡ ] But knowing that makes me really happy… [ Rose –> Joo ♡ ] Want to know a secret?? He makes me the happiest too, so happy that he frees a zoo in my stomach.

{ joo —> jangmi 🌹 } a zoo??? { joo —> jangmi 🌹 } yah, jangmi-yah, you say the cutest things ;; { joo —> jangmi 🌹 } he hopes the zoo isn’t so bothersome though? 

[books-and-cookies]

i’ve never related to something more in my entire life: