romeo bae couldn't imagine a life in which his father stuck around . no matter which way things went , if he didn't do this & if he didn't do that , nothing lead to a happy ending for the bae family . it didn't take him very long to realize that was their fate , that there was a point in which richard bae's red string had to be snipped away from romeo and his mother's . it's better this way , he thinks . the origin member has seen who his father is , who he has become , and he's grateful he didn't have to stick around that for the entirety of his life . his mother deserved more , and romeo couldn't have been more happier for sohye when she had met her sweetheart , a wealthy magnate who had completely whisked her off her feet when romeo was preparing for gold star's brand new reality show . initially , the boy had been hesitant back then . he wasn't sure if he could handle seeing his mother crumble like that , the sight similar to an ancient cathedral collapsing into the void of nothingness . romeo has never seen her like that since & he hopes to never see her like that ever , too drunk to make it to business and press meetings , too hungover to talk straight on live talks and to pose for the latest edition of a magazine cover . romeo scribbles on the side of paper , preferring writing down before typing up final lyrics . alien's sian comes to him like a much needed muse , a text weeks prior in regards to a compilation of music & words waiting to become something extraordinary . romeo knew the minute he heard it too , something about a nostalgia he never experienced made his hearstrings tug downwards nonetheless . the youngest bites his inner cheek , thumb pushing the tip of the pen down causing it to tap . the noise was subtle , quiet but it echoed through the silent fortress around him . romeo stares at the blank homescreen before him , a sudden curiosity about his father unfolding , one he hadn't experienced before . since the media blow up of richard's affair , romeo cut off ties with his father immediately . it didn't take long for the boy to start declining calls , eventually opting to ignore them all together . he couldn't imagine back then facing his father without causing some uproar occurring between them . romeo wouldn't be able to hold back his tongue , even biting down till it bled wouldn't have been suffice . attempts at forming some bond with romeo later down the line was futile too , bribery with the latest gadgets , shoes , even checks of obscene amount of zeroes . romeo didn't care , his father had already vanished in his mind at that point . tempted fingers press on the keyboard slowly , like a wave of sudden disbelief hits romeo & he can't help it . he stops at the letter 'c' and erases the previous letters , the familiar feeling of pain stinging in the linings of his chest . forgiveness and his father were both things that often crossed romeo's mind , but never in the same thought . he couldn't imagine forgiving the man that made his mother's life a living hell & left a hole the size of his silhouette in the idol's heart cavity . he redirects his focus on the task at hand , and clicks play again , this time from the beginning . the instrumental felt vacant , like a somber chest waiting for someone to fill it with various treasures . it reminded romeo of the night sky , the way the darkness felt so void sometimes , he felt as if he could fall right into it . the raven haired male shuts his eyes as he takes a second listen to the song , this time imagining the imagery of the lyrics run through his head while the song lulls in the background . to help with the creative process , romeo lights up a joint that had been lying around , inhaling sharply before closing his eyes once again . it was a habit that helped him work on lyrics later , if he can picture what's going on in the song , he was better fit on finding sentiments that shared the same emotions as the rest of the lyrics . he exhales . with the sorrowful tune of the instrumental , romeo thinks including violin pieces would further enhance it , giving it an almost regal touch . the violin would sound deeper in comparison to the beats & snapping , as a way to guide the message of the song . a stinging nostalgia , the one that comes & goes in the back of people's heads in waves . the male takes in another breath of smoke . he makes another mark on his notepad , jotting down a suggestion of a violin break . a subtle , & unconscious homage to learning how to play the instrument by his father , the second one he had ever learned . he also jots down to let san know about what he has in mind for the violin bit , the bridge leading up to it seamlessly , and he knows san's voice would compliment it well . he pushes the smoke out of his mouth through pursed lips , watching the smoke dissipate before his eyes . there is a soft , hazy smile playing on romeo's lips as he remembers learning how to play the violin . a surge of anger from a very young romeo back then , who had become insistent in wanting an electric guitar after his father had very famous rockstars over for a holiday party one year . he didn't get it , & it definitely wasn't what he wanted . he shoved it in the back of his closet for a year until his father began teaching him occasionally , whenever he caught a break from travelling & visited australia . to keep anyone from looking too deeply into romeo's words & his intentions , he includes altered versions of a life with his father around in the form of lyrics . romeo taps away the ash of the joint on the tray near his keyboard & speakers , before taking another inhale , watching the glowing cherry ember grow wider and wider . maybe he could have had other siblings , and it was all of them instead of two . / ' mom , dad , my two older sisters ' / his father wasn't romeo bae , the godfather of khh , instead he was a simple taxi driver . / ' my dad is a taxi driver ' / he lived a mundane life with his mundane family , & they loved it . / ' i was the baby of the family ... i remember those ' / it was enough for them , and it was enough for romeo . he breathes the smoke out through his nose . quick hands jot down the potential lyrics , though it felt more genuine than anything romeo had written down for future reference in a long while . this had become something special to him , a letter the world could hear but only one where romeo knew the meaning of . he scribbles away about a life he's never lived & never will , but god he wishes he could so bad . it comes out of him a bit too naturally , the repressed want of a normal family & a normal life . the male idol looks over the texts from san once more , a checklist to help him figure out what else alternations needed to be included or excluded of the song . minutes flowed into the early hours of the new morning , but romeo felt so awake . no amount of tiredness was enough to keep him from working on the rest of the lyrics , adding onto his fantasy world and clinging onto it for a little bit longer . the false reality was addictive , but romeo knew it had to eventually come to an end . the vocalist plays the song one more time , this time picturing the song with the newly added lyrics & violin pieces . it was slowly , but surely on it's way of getting itself together . kind of like romeo bae . he turns off the joint , before pulling out his phone to let san know of the progress .
