Avocado Advocate

I'm in love with the two best damn avocados

[depsidase]

[dongwater]

I’m losing my fucking shit because my mom is getting catfished by a guy that sends her pictures like this and it never once occurred to her that this….isnt a real picture that a real person would ever take, ever

[squided]

me sitting in my la quinta inn room with my $10 million in solid gold bars

[inthesensethat-deactivated20240]

[honeylemony]

FUCKING DEVASTATING

[arabian-knight]

The hatemail game on this website is insane

[nattousan]

ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)

[nattousan]

and now, the birds

Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus

[nattousan]

Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius

[nattousan]

hoo boy, ok *out of breath*

GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!

this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render

[nattousan]

speaking of obnoxious coverts:

bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata

the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it

[nattousan]

Madam....

[nattousan]

birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female

pleasantly simple to paint! next is the flickerrrrr

[nattousan]

*melts into goo*

BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus

genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??

nothing but pain and suffering, i'm sure hope the next bird will be much easier and with FAR less barring :)

[nattousan]

in other news, I am losing my mind hairline

[nattousan]

SHE'S DONE!!

Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis

my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on

this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏

[nattousan]

*does a little jig*

BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos

the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise

ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!

Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹

[jeza-red]

every addition of the insane public kills me anew xD

[worldiary]

Every so often I'm reminded of how true Parks and Rec and Superstore could be 😅

[just-let-me-drink]

[childmagazine]

someone from 1997 wished me good luck. it’s like someone from so many years back knows your struggles and i just, i think i’m gonna cry

[that-space-boy]

reblogging for luck from friend in 1997

[cheaphalloweencostume]

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[netscapeshawty]

baseball different from how i remember it

[qualitytimeswithqualitylads]

glad they added new maps to baseball

[shamebats]

Finally some good god-honoring Christian erotica #Amen

[chewedcorn]

A Cut Above

[mouser26]

This is like the exact opposite energy to A.Shipwright‘s  Detective Noirot Chase

[42beanbag]

breaking the first and second walls

[homoquartz]

i’ve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.

as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”

small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.

i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.

[piratedgender]

[themisally]

[sing-a-songofsix-pence]

I love reading classic books because I get part way through one and I suddenly realise that despite its prevalence in pop culture, I don't actually know what it's about, or how it ends.

and that is great. because then I get to read the rest of it and then, finally, I sit there and I go "oh, fuck, THAT'S why it's a classic!"

[hotvampireadjacent]

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[reachperfection]

[estrogenesis-evangelion]

if you've never been clinically depressed, this is the short version

[isawken]

yeah joe mama is fun and all, but have y’all ever heard about a henway?

[kensawyou]

what’s a henway?

[isawken]

ABOUT 3 TO 5 POUNDS!!!!

[genderkoolaid]

hey boy don't kill yourself. green's dictionary of slang is available online and allows you to explore 500 years of english vulgarity. you can search by part of speech, source, time period, etymology, and usage. there's a whole category for gay slang. they even have specific citations listed so you can see the exact context for yourself. boy did you know that in 1927 "to kneel at the altar" was slang for "to sodomize"

[pancakeke]

vaseline is op for fucked up skin but its texture stat is dogshit

[pancakeke]

[pancakeke]

we aint putting that on the chart, chief

[mangonetics]

yes the fuck you are if you have any respect for its inventor

[pancakeke]

OKAY FINE JESUS

[pancakeke]

tags like this remind me that this is the only social media site where I'll ever truly belong